I was wide awake when Mara then eventually Elvie finally got back. They had towels wrapped around their bodies, showering after hours in the Black Hall. No words were exchanged, snoring contentedly within seconds of hitting the thin, grey mattresses.It’s now almost a day off after the Full Moon. A basic rota is issued for those who need recovery time. Seeing as I had done nothing but frazzle my brain, I walked the corridors hours earlier than everyone else. It wasn’t like a summer morning, basking in the sunrise, Unrelenting grey and red concrete, except now the lights blindingly bright.I don’t know what to do about Viktor. Sense says I should just confess to Declan. I believe he isn’t a psychopath like Valdis, so perhaps he will just imprison him? What’s really holding me back is the fact Declan will recognise his scent and make assumptions.I’m not a fool. I know Viktor is flattering me for his own gains. He wants me to feed him, he wants someone to screw on the Full Moon. Even s
I don’t know how it’s even possible but somehow I haven’t bumped into, seen or heard Lyra for almost four weeks. She’s avoiding me. She heard what I said about the bloodline of Valdis being tainted and damaged and she hates me.I’m not sure why but it’s pissing me off. I should be grateful that the distraction of those emerald eyes and black hair is removed from my work. I have shit to do. The ration safes still aren’t open. The heating pumps constantly have me slamming metal pipes with a mallet. We have another two full moons then the food runs out with potentially another two to go.I know Corina is stringing me along. Every time I ask her she turns on the waterworks. Breaks down and claims it is traumatising for her to search the study with so many precious trinkets and memories of her father. Then I showed her some of the sick shit her papa was stashing in the drawers and her face paled.Dressed in crimson silk, a red fox fur pelt cape around her shoulders her red lips pouted in
I've been hiding out with Viktor. Just a few hours a day. It's a win-win. I don’t have to see Declan and have my heart ripped out and Corina can’t get me either. She hardly has any chores right now anyway. Then the rest of the time I’m in the dorm, in the back rooms of corridor nine. Anywhere where he doesn’t tend to go.I just tell Mara and Elvie I’m heading to read a book, get some headspace. I’ve done it before. Maybe not this often but everything is changing under the new rules. I know it’s foolish but it’s easier than seeing him and knowing he hates me.Being in here made me feel like a naughty child, being cheeky. In the first week of hiding out I had to ask one of the questions burning away at me. “What do you know about Rogues then?” I said, keeping my eyes on my hands as they toyed with a paper bun wrapper. “Escaped them, joined them, fought with them?”“No I’m a lover, not a bitter twisted murdering fighter,” he grinned, those hazel eyes always catching mine. “Have you ever
I want to cry, I am so overwhelmed. Declan wants me. That the new, exciting feelings burning underneath my fragile shell are mutual. No real words spoken but he kissed me so beautifully it brought me to tears. Tears spring for a different reason now. He wants to see me tonight. To take part in the Full Moon madness with him. I can’t. I can’t do it again. After he leaves, I realise I am alone in Valdis’ room and a shudder makes my skin prickle. This is where he hurt Mara and the others every night during the other Freeze’s. When we must clean this corridor, Elvie and I always take this room. Mara is normally physically sick by being brought too near it. I need a plan. I can’t turn Declan down, I certainly can’t tell him why I refuse to give in to the Full Moon. Panic seizes my chest, leaving my heart thundering against my rib cage. It is my wolf that I fear. So shy and reserved but she can still lead me to places I don’t ever want to be on a Full Moon. I shake my head. Remind my
How could it tumble down so quickly? I don’t mind admitting to myself I was on cloud nine after kissing her. The way that vanilla scent flooded into my veins, supercharging every sensation was addictive. I wanted nothing more than to worship her there and then but my wolf warned me to go slow, careful with her. I had to shut my eyes when she stroked my beard, it would have pained me to see her face contort as she uncovered my scars. Amelie, the friend with benefits from before this expedition, certainly didn't like them. Sex with her was nearly always with her on all fours. Long brown hair, hazel eyes, curves every man in the camp admired. Thrusting roughly into her, gripping her hair. As soon as she got her fix she would walk away. The perfect fuck buddy Howen and others would tell me. It's amazing what you can convince yourself of. I was more than looking forward to tonight. This was different. Lyra is different. Especially after last months fuck up in the Black Hall, I want
So small in my arms, the urge to protect her overrides anything else. Carrying her back to my room she remained in my grasp as I quickly repositioned her against my chest. With my free hand I grabbed the two bunk mattresses and put them on the floor. Then, aware of her space I placed her down gently and backed away a bit.“Lyra, talk to me, what do you need?” I asked softly as she lay on the mattress looking up at me in the semi-darkness. There was only a small yellow lamp casting shadows across the grey concrete walls. Her black hair spilled out into waves of dark desire. Her tiny frame swamped by the white nightdress. “What are you going to do?” her voice cracking. “Only what you ask me to,” I repeat, “I won’t do a thing more. I swear.” “Will you…kiss me again?” she murmured and my heart banged into my ribcage. Instead of jumping on her like a mountain lion I was slow, steady. I lowered myself onto the mattresses carefully. let her place her hands on my cheeks and guide my lips
I woke up in his arms. I can’t even really call them arms without it feeling inadequate. They are such huge, powerful wedges of muscles. The way he picked me up like I was nothing, his body twice as wide as mine. I’ve never known anything like it. Not once in my life, not even the cycle of women who raised me ever treated me so tenderly. Every kiss felt like a blessing. All the touches of his fingers, his hot searching mouth left me wanting more. I didn’t quake in fear or dread the next rabid crush of his flesh against mine. He was everything I never even knew I craved. By the time I asked for him to use his mouth, my wolf had ebbed into a satisfied lull. It was my craving then. I didn’t want the night to end. Watching him sleep, he is still fully clothed. The ripples of scars underneath his grizzled dark brown short beard and down his neck suggest his torso may be similar to my back. My scars are mainly from my teen years. I struggled to adjust to Corina’s sudden dislike of me. I
Little Lyra is just getting herself everywhere isn’t she. If she isn’t turning Declan into a lovesick, pining puppy for the past three weeks, now she’s fucked Howen in the Black Hall! That towel he wrapped around his hips reeked of her. Vile little runt. Except then his cheeky green eyes twinkle at me under all that fiery red hair. He loves seeing me jealous. I can't believe I called him Howdy, a pet name slipping out. I need to stop that straight away.He already knows I need him. I try to play the ice queen, like I could kick him out of my bed anytime I wanted. I think we both know that I would weep without those nighttime visits now. . I noticed Lyra giving Mara a raised eyebrow when changing my sheets the other day. Both of them want a good slap for their insolence. However, Declan and his council have banned such punishments, so I must bide my time. Howen’s straying doesn’t mean I didn’t love the Black Hall. I spent most of the time with a man who smelt of berries. Curly hai
### FIVE YEARS LATER ### The truck has seen better days. More grey than black it trundles us wherever we need. Declan has become the expert at fixing it, fully aware that I absolutely love it when he gets oil on his hands or face. Rolling up his sleeves, showing his huge forearms that are solid from hard work, I offer up a daily prayer of thanks to the Goddess. “You are sure this is the place?” “I heard about it from the others back home.” Home was our small fishing village named Filney. Today was an unusual adventure for us, having barely left our little world for so long. Leaving the fortress all those years ago we had just headed south. With no more diversions or magnetic tourist attractions to show me, Declan took me to the very furthest tip of our nation. It still took a couple of months to get so far south. Just as he had dreamed, I fell asleep in the truck, waking up to him gently nudging me. However back then there had been no bump, just the first twinges of nausea and
The rumours were true. Only a minute or two after we got Howen and Pearl onto the ground did a silent shaft of light blaze down. Watching from outside the fortress it appeared painful, the way everyone dropped to the floor covering their eyes. Even I had to shield my eyes with my hands.From what I could see amidst the whiteness Elvie appeared to have lost her mind, stood tall, flailing her arms and shouting upwards. Declan held me close, wrapping his leather jacket back around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head.“Thank you,” leaning into him, loving the warmth of his huge body against mine.“What for?”“For not wanting to change us.”Declan shifted, leaning against the black truck door. “Can I say I am happy with myself without sounding like a dick? I’m covered in damage but I don’t care anymore.”“Well you are perfect, to me at least.” I smiled, watching him roll his eyes even though he squeezed me a little tighter. As quickly as it descended the beam vanished. From a dista
The past few months have been a blur. When the Goddess light first appeared I didn't have a clue what to do. Instinct took over as I shredded into Reu's jacket with my claws, my wolf somehow emerging for the first time since I accidentally shifted at fourteen. I was whipped so severely for just my claws emerging in front of a Beta that I never tried it again. But when the light subsided, returning us to cold darkness I was sprawled underneath Reu in my wolf form. "What the fuck just happened?" Dill shouted, as everyone rubbed their eyes and huddled. Nearly everyone had dropped to the floor, unable to find their way indoors in the searing brightness. "Is everyone okay!" Reu shouted, clambering to his feet, his white hair a ragged mess. "Does anyone need help!" Everyone gasped as he stood up, revealing my shifted form. All the originals knew what a big deal it was. "Elvie is that you!" Arlen cried out, pointing in surprise. Then Sol gasped. "Arlen your…your hands!" "Dill your fac
I squealed as Declan roughly shoved me into Pearl, scattering us to the ground.Then I saw why. Holding a long-barrelled shotgun, eyes blazing a furious gold stood Viktor. He was red-faced, sweating with exertion. Blonde hair now hung down to his shoulders, dirty and tangled. “What the fuck are you doing here,” Viktor said with a sneer, keeping the barrel pointed directly at Declan’s face. Manoeuvring so he could see all three of us togethe, his once handsome face twisted in smug victory.Gesturing the gun quickly towards me I gasped in fear as he mocked us. “You’re looking good Lyra, and a pretty friend too. My Declan, aren't you getting adventurous. Or did you fancy a less damaged slut for a while?”“Fuck off,” Pearl growled but this was no time for trading insults. Not when my mate had a gun waved in his face.“You’ve hidden the golden wolf here then?” Declan said flatly, flexing his huge chest, parting his legs to try and cover Pearl and I. From my crouched position I could feel
Lyra, forever formed of kindness and light raced to her side, Skidding into the blood and straw, not caring about her light cotton dress as she cradled Mara’s long blonde hair in her hands. “Mara what happened to you! Shit! Pearl, get some help, quick!” As the guard swore and cursed his bad luck, Pearl ran off. I heard her rummaging around in the guard room at the top of the corridor. Mara spluttered, her teeth stained with blood. Lyra carefully stroked her blonde hair away from the blood on her face, as gently as a mother would a newborn. “Lyra he…I did everything he asked.” “But you hurt people for him? The guards at the fortress, the men in this gold sale?” “I had to! I didn’t want to but he told me it was the only way. The only way we could be together. We put the golden wolf safe then came here to sell the little trinkets,” as she got upset her words became more ragged, her breathing starting to rattle. “We had such a good time…it was, he was perfect.” Pearl came scampering b
I have failed. Six months ensuring nothing harmed her happiness and I’ve gone and trashed it anyway. Those green eyes are filled with confusion and it’s all because of me. Because of something as simple as a dream. Albert having finally waddled downstairs, I slowly walk towards her. For the first time she steps backwards. Fuck. “You want to find Viktor? Howen? Both of them?” “I have to,” I confessed sadly, slumping down to sit on the soft bed. I rubbed at my eyes, running my hands through my short brown curls in frustration. “Lyra, these nightmares…these dreams are telling me I’ve got to do something.” “What dreams?” her voice softening, even though her arms are still folded. I keep my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly as I force the words out. “Last night, I saw Howen as he was, as a young man being led away from me by Viktor, into a crowded road. I run, I search. I kill strangers in the streets to try to get to him. It drives me feral to the point where my dream ends wi
Of course leaving the Fortress wouldn’t be complete without some final bloodshed. Seeing how Declan’s brotherhood had torn themselves to pieces the instant Beldon died was sobering. When I asked if we needed to tell the rest of the Rogues waiting back at the base, Declan shook his head. “The ones that made it out would have high-tailed it straight back there anyway."“What made Beldon and Morrell so…angry?” “I think they let their Bond fail. I don’t think you can live a life that violent, however well intentioned and not let it taint something pure,” Declan replied flatly. “Once that starts to rot, it all falls apart. Like how you described Corina.”So with Beldon’s body gingerly dragged from the flatbed of the dented black truck, we left. We were silent for the first few hours. Mainly because I was staring out of the window like an idiot at everything new. Declan was content to just drive, and watch me from the corner of his eye. Seeing the cragged black mountains up close, actual
Declan and Lyra left a few days ago. Elvie and I insisted on being the ones to take them back to what was left of the Rogue camp. On the snowmobiles, carrying machine guns and blades, we found a site of devastation. Blood had been spilled. A huge amount of it judging by the snowy corpse-clumps in the ground. Only one truck remained, Beldon’s frosted corpse. Tent sheeting flapped with claw marks, chunks of leather clothing shredded. Elvie and Lyra had shuddered to discover Amelie under one of the collapsed tents. “So this is Rogue law?” Elvie had muttered with a bitter tone. “You never know with Amelie, she may have struck the first blow or tried to lead a group attack,” I said after a minute's consideration. She always wanted to play big.She wouldn’t have even been up here had she not begged to come. Sitting quietly around every campfire for years, I have learned to watch people when they think they aren’t being studied. Amelie wanted more than her usual piece of Dec the instant
Seeing Declan standing above my bed, blanket in hand, face flushed with desire I had for a second assumed it was just another fantasy. Too much hugging of the sandalwood-scented pillow, tricking myself again.Then he kissed me. He was so real. With a desire that bordered on frenzy, he seized and fucked me so exquisitely I felt I was coming apart at the seams. Only his gruff, heavy hold over my body kept me together. There was no feeling like it in the world when he sunk that deep inside. Laid next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, my toes curled at the memory of how he grabbed my ass, admiring me even though I knew my back was littered with scars.I love how even in his sleep, if I try to move away he instinctively pulls me closer. So excited to have him home I study him, unable to rest myself. His brown hair is shaggy and unkempt. That brown beard I love is even more ragged and needs trimming after so many days away.Despite the fighting and lack of food, Declan’s bod