The day after the full moon, my mood was foul. How could my wolf let me down so badly? I should have control over my beast. Instead, I almost gave in. I took it to the very limits of my resistance. I think of myself as having the control of an Alpha, except I almost shredded it all for a chance to kiss her.Even worse, I almost went and found Vera, knowing she would have been more than willing to take advantage of my pathetically aroused state. Reduced to an awkward waddle I went to find the fucking tea, thanks to my cock trying to launch itself out of my sweats. Then I knocked a load of washed up teapots over in the kitchens making a complete fool of myself. It couldn’t have gone much worse, the clattering sound ripping through the silent night.A torch shone at my eyes in seconds, Alpha Reu glaring at me as I fumbled in the dark.“It won’t work now. You’re too late,” he said drily. “Fuck off,” I growled, “I’m fine.”“I warned you about how you speak to me. I’m the Alpha of this b
I hadn’t lied. I am pissed off that he ditched me, but saying it was because I missed our friendship wasn’t the entire truth.My father is attending so much meditation that he is forgetting to eat. His blue eyes, always so vivid and bright, are dwindling, like a dying star. I miss his personality. His muteness never stopped him from filling a room with his character before.Staring at the portrait of my mother, I know I’m trying to capture something I’ll never have again. So I don’t blame my father for hiding down here. We can both pretend until spring, when we return to our empty house. Where we will be stabbed in the heart all over again.I haven’t added much to the portrait. Each day, I spend hours staring at it, listening for footsteps that never come. Ryan sometimes floats into my mind. I try to keep him there. Remember how it felt to nuzzle against his blonde scruffy beard and gaze into his gentle brown eyes. Fill my thoughts, my heart with our fragile, barely sealed bond. Why
I don’t know what I expected the night after a Full Moon frenzy. I only just managed to drag myself into my room for a sleep, cursing at remembering I had no mattress. In the darkness, I didn’t even turn on the lamp, just grabbed a pillow and lay on a fur pelt. I stretch out like a cat, my aching muscles confirming it was not a crazed dream. Too tired to blush, I wonder how badly scratched up the stranger must be.I’d lost my virginity, but more than that, I’ve unlocked something deep inside me. I was the property of that man tonight. Nobody else could have me. Nobody could go near me, and I loved it. When he swiped that person away and slammed his mouth over my breast to erase their brief touch, I shuddered. His roar was a warning for everyone else.Just as I drifted off, a horrifying scream rose up. “HELP! QUICK! COME NOW!”There isn’t a tannoy in this bunker. A huge air horn went off instead. “What the hell is this,” I mumbled groggily, pulling on the fur, completely naked under
Somehow I’ve gone from laughing at Brody and Sven messing with broomsticks and buckets to the Alpha’s bedroom. Not just his bedroom but stood against the supporting bar of his bunk bed with his hand halfway up my shorts.I can’t think straight. The full moon isn’t until tomorrow, but my wolf wants me to do a thousand things at once. They want me to spread my legs, kiss him, yank my shorts down, and pull his sweats down. Run. My brain is a car crash filled with sweet birch.“I had sex, okay, no different to anyone else,” blushing so hard it hurts. Raze leaned in ever closer, his lips skirting my ear. In a serious voice, probably the one he uses before cutting fingers off. “I want details. How many men? Where did they touch you? Did you like it? Was it your first time?”“How did you…that’s not your business!” I blush even harder at the mention of my virginity, but then his fingers inched upwards, just inside the hem of my shorts, dangerously close to finding my soaked panties, and I shu
Papa and I spent nearly the entire night sitting together. I talked, he scribbled scant phrases and gestured. It was wonderful. For the first time since her death we toasted her memory, cherished the fact we had known her. Stumbling back to our rooms bleary eyed and sleepy, I saw Cal striding back up his corridor with a tray of food and a pile of books, choosing to eat away from the others in the main hall. I want to do something nice for him. The way he set everything up last night was the single kindest gesture I have ever experienced. The second full moon will be upon us tonight, so I get some sleep, certain that I will need my energy for later.I don’t want to drink the foul smelling tea. I don’t want to dull down my wolf’s desires. If it’s crying out for Cal, then why should that be a bad thing? I’m not looking at the other men down here and feeling crazed lust. Only Cal.Except when I wake up from my nap, I don’t hear the annoying clang of chimes or gongs. Instead I hear whisp
A frantic patter of footsteps interrupted the grey silence. I knew it was Hope. I leaned back against the cool concrete wall and braced myself for fury. My arms rested on top of my knees as I got used to the shitty little metal bed. “Cal!” I am immediately glad for the silver bars. Not just because she is wearing that clinging black catsuit that shows off every curve, but because her amber eyes are glowing with fury. She looks magnificent, even when she’s angry. Plus, her beautifully freckled cheeks are glowing bright red at the fact I’m in here wearing just a pair of black briefs. Clothing, blankets, or any other fabric could be used to mess with the silver bars. So her eyes are all over every inch of my bare skin, and the temperature feels like it’s shot up a few degrees.Reu had hissed he was being kind, leaving me with underwear when he slammed the cell door shut. So now I am trapped like a zoo exhibit, with Hope’s eyes raking dangerously over every inch of me.Seeing as the fu
Angry doesn’t cover it. I’m so fucking disappointed. The man who masterminded the sweetest, kindest gesture I’ve ever known is the same chump who goes bickering with the Alpha over something he doesn't even want?It is my turn to stride down the corridors with a vengeance. As the full moon approaches its peak most people choose to take an early night. They're all couples anyway apart from Ervin and Vera. Why do they even bother with the tea.No early night for me, I'm too het up. My dramatic stomping only leads me to the bathrooms. The tea finally gets the better of me, and I am sick as a dog.The lights are starting to dim down, settling into the orange nighttime mode. There isn’t a sound anywhere. If anyone is enjoying the pleasures of the Freeze, they must have soundproofed their room. These old fossils seem completely against the idea of actually listening to their wolves. If I listened to my wolf I’d be nursing some silver burns now.I brush my teeth and get a shower, painfully
Along with everyone else, I drag my mattress into the Black Space. Once more, the huge bodyguard and Sven are humping the speaker system into place, setting up the generator. I help Brody and Sven with hanging the black curtains that help to dull out the final shades of vision.I keep my head down. There are no further clashes with Quinn, thankfully. Not that the silly woman realises I’m trying to save her neck. If the wrong person hears her calling me a whore again I don’t know what might happen. I stare at the note every night. Angel. I'm nobody's angel.Her face is a permanently macabre landscape of bubbling ridges, forming a permanently foul smile. She stands with Raze, her braids hanging low to try and disguise her scars as he talks through a checklist. Climbing the ladder, all I can feel is his eyes on my hips.I thought it was his eyes anyway. I turn around quickly and see nobody looking. Paranoia kicking in, perhaps. Full moon edginess. Except when I turn around, there it is
Standing in the courtyard, I can feel my heart racing. It’s a strange feeling to know you’re going to die in a few minutes. I made my vow to Mireille all those years ago. I’ve been an Alpha of the North, overseen peace, and brought up our beautiful children, but this is the vow that matters. Because this promise was the one that eased my angel’s mind. Knowing we would have this final offering to the Moon Goddess and pray it is enough to free our children. /I love you/ I whisper to her, noticing her hands shake. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. /You don’t have to do this/ she links back, her voice still as soft and light as the day I met her. Age has barely touched her. I am most definitely grizzled and rough around the edges. She is ethereal. Her pale green eyes shimmering with love and sadness, her white hair plaited tightly. She’s wearing a simple white dress. I insisted on wearing my huge winter fur. It seemed the right thing for me. /Wait, I want something/ I urge. I h
The last twenty years have been a rollercoaster, to say the least. That night in the hail, when Cyrus pulled me back from the brink and I spilt every single woe from the bottom of my soul to him, was the turning point. Since the triplets' birth, I had walked around with lead weights in my shoulders, dragging me down. Guilt chipped away at my self-confidence. To the point when I didn’t even feel I could be a Luna. Standing at the top of that tower, thinking the isolation helped clear y mind when it only bogged me further down in the doubt. Cyrus changed all of that. He took my guilt and made a solemn vow. Twenty years. If we can’t fix it together in twenty years, we will offer ourselves to the Moon Goddess. After that night in the hail, I cried for two days in a row. Once whipped away from the beam, the full horror of what I’d almost done was crushing. I couldn’t look at the children without damning myself all over again. Cyrus though, he became the Alpha. With everyone’s bl
If it wasn’t for the three women I lived with and little Opal I’d have lost my mind. Delilah hadn't changed from our blessed childhood friendship. Morgan’s mate Nell was full of bizarre ideas for preserving food and practising emergency drills. Lyra remained stoic and calm. Our lighthouse of sense and hope. Opal cried for her Daddy, and I had to try not to join in with her. I had to promise her he would come back, based on nothing but pure, desperate hope. It turned into full-scale war out there. The various Rogue armies were enormous, but they never quite made it to Filney. We were prepared, though. Thanks to Nell, we each had a gun safely stored by the bed. Escape routes planned. Little Opal still slept with me, keeping her close to my heart. Finally, one day, they returned. Trucks pulling in to Lyras white walled villa woke us up. One by one, we all screamed with excitement. Cal didn’t even try to trick or provoke me. He just pulled up the truck and sprinted towards us.
**FOUR YEARS LATER** I don’t know how time flew by so quickly. Everything Cal promised me has come true. We have bickered, disagreed, and walked down the beach in a huff. Mainly me each time, knowing he would be sat on the porch waiting for me with an amused smile. That lopsided grin that makes my stomach flip. We never stopped fighting for each other. Not for a second. It's been everything and more. That first morning, dozing in the hammock together, I woke up with a start. Realising the time, how late I was for retrieving poor Button made me scramble and swing so violently he crashed to the floor all over again. “You know I might ban you from my lovely hammock,” he groaned. I just laughed and pulled him up, pretending to rub his muscular shoulders, back, chest better until he growled and finally bent me over that porch. It was perfect. Of course, Button was absolutely fine with Declan and Lyra. They were already playing on the beach with her, Declan, having his toes burie
“Shit, the weather look,” she whispers, lifting her head up from my bare chest. From our cosy tower room, we can see wind is starting to howl, hail pelting the glass. The first savage winter snowstorms have begun.“It’s time to start prepping,” I grunt with disappointment, sitting up to get a better look. My beautifully naked angel sits in between my legs, allowing me to start nuzzling my chin against her neck. Her hand absentmindedly trails up and runs through my dark hair, keeping me close to her. “We’ll be underground for the first moon,” I add, which is the only thought that makes the idea of humping all those supplies down below bearable.“Hmm, you might be right. Let’s see how it goes,” she whispers back in a soft little voice before turning to plant a loving kiss on my grizzled cheek. “Better get dressed,” she groaned before pushing me down back onto the mattress and climbing on top of me. My fingertips brushed against her still red, warm asscheek and she jumped at the sensat
** TWO YEARS LATER **The first snows have landed. The next full moon is a fortnight away, but we will probably be underground before then. No pilgrims have arrived this month either. Things are a lot quieter at the Fortress these days. The grand days of my parents' first few years have definitely waned. A trickle of pilgrims instead of floods now make the dangerous journey over the mountain tops.I still stand at the top of the fortress and watch the sun descend. Every night, I stare at the black ridges of the mountains. I did it as a child. I did it the night before the rogues arrived and turned my life upside down. Now I stand every night we are above ground and observe its fiery descent and try to be thankful for what I have. Three wonderful children. A mate who worships me. Loyal, wonderful friends and family who made the last two freezes more than bearable. At first, I struggled with my survival. When Cyrus held me in his arms and told me dozens of times how he doesn’t need
“Hey there,” wasn’t the smoothest opener, but there was nothing else I could say. In the same way he knew my heart would melt for the flowers he put in the inn, he must have known that I would make some kind of entrance. My coppery hair is down, catching the breeze. For once I felt like a queen in my black dress after leaving Button with her kind-of adoptive grandparents. It’s tight, strapless, hugging my curves and showing off my long legs just as I intended. I don’t want my reunion with Cal to be about Button, as much as I love my little wonder. We'll get there, after tonight. After all, this moment has been a few days in the making. Cal’s not the only one capable of making plans. In fact, the first people I saw were Lyra and Declan. When I produced Button from out of the passenger seat, I felt a surge of panic. “She’s not Cal’s,” I said too quickly to sound polite. Then, allowing her to scamper off merrily towards the sand, I added softly, “She’s technically not mine either. I’
It’s a good job Hope was still asleep when I left. Otherwise, she might have caught up to me parked on the side of the road, still completely torn in two as to whether my gesture was romantic or insane. I ran my hands through my shaggy brown curls so many times it’s a wonder I wasn’t bald when I finally pulled up to the shoreline. Nine months after setting off I’m finally home. I raced home in dangerously quick time, panic-stops excluded. Because I have a home to build. A life to prepare. Howen and Pearl’s old villa at Finley is still magnificent, but it hasn’t been lived in for over five years. When I knocked on the door, there was only my mother there. Half a second of shock was followed by fifteen minutes of being almost throttled by her cuddles and kisses. Her long black hair was wavy from her morning swim, her gentle face full of worry. She quickly explained that my father had left to help Mireille and Cyrus after being summoned.. “So…what happened with Hope? I’m guessing tha
Only after she fell unconscious did the room check who was actually capable of performing such surgery. Sven and Quinn immediately pointed to me and my heart sank to its lowest, darkest depths.Slicing open her soft, perfect skin was terrifying. The tautness of her bump meant every cut felt far too deep yet not enough. Plus, if I didn’t hurry, the medication would wear off and leave her enduring more pain at full volume.With my poor angels whimpering cries finally silenced, you could hear nothing but the tearing, slicing sound of raw flesh as I cut ever deeper. With everyone's eyes burning into me, the blade shook in my hand.. “Hurry, this is no time for hesitation,” Arlen insisted. Stifling a growl, I steeled myself and made a sweeping horizontal incision. Then it was a mad rush to gather the babies. Cords were snipped, Arlen telling what to remove and what to stitch. I blindly followed, vaguely aware of tiny cries in the background but unable to do anything but care for my pale,