Twenty years ago…I didn’t know how to feel about any of this, standing here in front of the alpha like this, caught red-handed while breaking rules, the midnight curfew was embarrassing and portrayed me in a light I didn’t want to be in. I have always been the girl who is responsible and follows the rules. Getting caught doing something rash like this was so out-of-character for me and I’m sure once my parents hear of this, I’ll get an earful from them too. The worst part of it all was that I’d been caught with a boy and that I’d been reported to the alpha by Samuel. Nothing was more mortifying and horrible than the situation I found myself in.Aaron had become my confidante and it was clear we were both reeling from the surreal nature of it. Any and all communication with Samuel had stopped about a week ago but that didn’t mean that seeing him around didn’t hurt. Watching him, I couldn’t believe that he was the same person who used to sit with me, talk to me, and joke around with me
I am anxious. There, I said it. I hadn’t expected I would feel this way but I am. My mind is running in a hundred different directions and I don’t know what to do. I can’t get my mind to rest, to settle. I keep going over these thousands of different scenarios and I don’t like how any of them turn out in my head. Noah told me a couple of minutes ago that the Alpha’s parents are coming back here after their long vacation and I don’t know what or how I’m supposed to feel about this. I mean, they’re supposed to be my grandparents and I don’t know how they are going to take this news that they have a living eighteen-year-old grandson about whom they had no idea till now. What if they’re like the alpha and don’t want anything to do with me, or what if they’re nothing like the alpha and want me to be a part of their weird family immediately? I can’t imagine what is worse and I shudder when I think about how every scenario could play out.I am fidgety and restless. I can’t seem to sit still.
Twenty years ago…I stand in front of the alpha and the luna of the pack, my head bowed and my body tingling in anger and betrayal. Aaron is standing beside me, his head bowed in submission too, and seems to be much more capable of handling this situation. This is the first time I’ve ever come in the alpha’s office and I had never expected it would be because I would be caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to do. This is beyond embarrassing and even though I know that all actions have consequences, I didn’t expect my midnight excursions to lead me straight into the alpha’s office, getting reprimanded for breaking the night curfew.“This is unacceptable. Curfew hours are implied so everyone in the pack can remain safe from the ongoing high rogue alert. What was so important that you had to get out of your homes in the middle of the night?” The alpha doesn’t rase his voice but I can feel my wolf wanting to submit to his authoritative tone. “Are you two even mates?” He harrumphs and
Noah had come to the gym to inform me that my grandparents were close to the pack border and it would be unseemly to meet them all gross and sweaty. He suggested I take a shower and dress up and he will come to get me when it’s time. I only listened to him because I couldn’t stomach the idea of having another set of grandparents. I had always known Mom’s parents died when she was young but Brad was my dad and his parents were my grandparents. The thought of calling them Grandma and Grandpa creeped the hell out of me. Coming here, to this pack, has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and I haven’t been entirely ready for the surprises that have been continuously springing in me left, right, and center.I’m sitting anxiously on my bed after taking a hot shower, trying to calm myself down, trying not to expect anything, trying to gauge all the possible ways this meet and greet could go. Noah had very subtly asked me to wait in my room and that he would come and get me himself when it
I’d forgotten how overbearing and overwhelming Mick could be. Of course, all alphas are careful about their packs, and their successors and want to make sure everything stays well with the administration but Mick’s comments about Samuel’s leadership rankle me. God only knows how Aaron, who is faithful to Samuel and is an integral part of the pack’s leadership feels about it. On top of everything, Mick’s comments about Noah were uncalled for. Kyle agrees with my assessment because I can see it in the tight movement in his jaw muscles, making it clear he’s trying hard to resist throwing a punch.I glance at Samuel to make out what’s going on in his mind. His father has always been overbearing but it can’t be fun to revisit all of his antics when he has been such a successful alpha so far. But his face is stony as usual, not letting any emotion creep out. I would give anything to find out what’s been thinking. He didn’t even flinch in surprise when his mother revealed he had sent search
I had to get out of that room. The company of my grandparents was so stifling that I could barely breathe. I have no idea how everyone else was able to tolerate their debauchery and arrogance but me and my wolf were disgusted by it. As soon as I could, I made my excuses to leave that room. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have dessert, spending another minute there would have made me go all kinds of crazy and would have resulted in me jumping up from my seat and grabbing my grandpa’s collar. Not the sweet family reunion everyone was hoping for.If it had been a few weeks ago, I would have liked nothing better than to shift into my wolf and let it run free. Run down through all that frustration and antagonism, this helplessness of not being able to do what I wanted, to push people away because they were too important. I would have gone for a run, leaching off layers of uneasiness until it all turned to euphoria. The feeling of the dry earth beneath my paws beckoned me. I wanted to feel t
Twenty years ago…Detention ended a couple of weeks ago and so did all of my contact with Samuel. We could pass each other in the school and not give each other a single look. We were back to how we had always been with a particular sense of forced detachment. Before, there was a sense of mysteriousness, a strange aura of awe Samuel held for me. Being the Alpha’s son, being my brother’s best friend, and his personality had cast him as this bigger-than-life person that I never thought I could come close to. Seeing him up close was sobering, brought me back to reality, and made me realize that he was just as messed up and sailing through life as clueless as the rest of us. This revelation somehow made me want him more and made me want to cling to my self-respect all the more.A part of me wanted to never talk to him again after how he had taken me for granted, how carelessly he had tossed me aside, how hypocritical he was about finding his mate and then having a baby with his current gi
I don’t know how long it has been but I’m still in Lea’s room, watching her sleep and this might have been creepy but I can’t make myself stop. I never realized that we fell asleep during the afternoon after Lea shared some pretty heavy stuff about her family and I have never felt as close to her as I do now. It is a single bed and as a result, Lea is pressed to my side, drifting closer to me as she falls deeper into her sleep. I don’t mind one bit and my wolf is so calm that I don’t think he has ever felt better than this.My eyes opened a few minutes ago, landing straight to a sleepy Lea next to me, snoring softly and I haven’t been able to look at anything else. Her eyelashes seem long and soft, cute freckles dust her cheeks, her forehead is somehow always pinched or in a frown is relaxed, and she seems so relaxed that I can’t help but absorb every inch of her. My palms itch to touch her, her face, pinch her cheeks, touch he lips, her shoulders, but I make myself resist the temptat
LeaI watch Ben and Mason circle each other, judging each other’s stances and anticipating each other’s moves. These boys were growing up too fast, they were already too eager to participate in the pack’s training sessions and they still had years before they could officially attend those sessions. It still didn’t stop them from watching every practice session and cheering for the older werewolves. It didn’t help that Kyle encouraged them all the time, boosting them up, and telling them to aim to be the best pack warrior there has ever been. I think it was cute how they both looked up to Kyle, wanting to impress him, to spend time with them, and to just be near them.Ever since Kyle has officially started training to be the future alpha of this pack, he has become incredibly busy. He barely has time for himself, and I know he feels guilty about not being able to give me enough time. If he had been here from his birth, Alpha Samuel would have groomed him to be the next alpha from the m
I know I wasn’t supposed to eavesdrop, wasn’t mean to listen to their conversation, but how could I not? Even a saint would have had trouble to avoid listening in on them, and I am no saint. I had been reeling from the revelation after the pack initiation ceremony, about how I had magically changed packs, and I was so confused about everything that I didn’t know what to do. I kept trying to deny what was happening, what had already happened and it had gotten me nowhere.When I ran out of Samuel’s office, I had no idea where I was supposed to go, and what I was supposed to do. I couldn’t go back to my room, or talk to anyone. The thought of interacting with anyone or sitting alone in my room made me claustrophobic. So, I did the only thing I could think of, I ran to the lake so I could think and re-think everything and decide what I had to do now.An epiphany slammed into me when I was there. I realised I could go on thinking about everything, thinking about the past, present, and the
The party after the initiation ceremony was still going on in the dining room of the pack house. Everyone was assembled there and I couldn’t catch a breath or take a step without someone congratulating me or telling me how amazing the hunt was. Pack hunts were rare because we didn’t want to disturb the ecosystem around us, but they were sometimes a celebration, like today. I was lucky to spot a herd of deer, and we managed to hunt down a couple of them, enough for everyone in the pack to take a celebratory bite of the hunt. Now, I was tired, both from the day and everyone frolicking around me.I wanted to retire to my bedroom already, but before I could do that, I wanted to see Samuel. So, I went upstairs to his office and knocked on the door. It is probably the first time I’m coming here without being summoned for doing something wrong or breaking the rules. It felt nice to not be the troublemaker for a change. I waited for his call to come in before swinging the door open and going
I had witnessed pack initiation ceremonies a few times in this pack and back home. They were rare because it was unusual for an alpha to induct a wolf into their already blooming pack. Often, these ceremonies were held after an extensive background search and interviews, and all for a very good reason. Alpha has to make sure that they’re not introducing a sneaky snake in the pack that could harm them or the pack in the future. But this ceremony was an exception because not only Kyle was Samue’s blood, but Samuel was sure of Kyle’s heritage and I’m sure he is excited about having Kyle in the pack because it means that he will have his son in the pack and a legitimate future alpha.I had gone through the pack initiation ceremony myself when I had chosen Brad as my mate. I was as unprepared for it as Kyle was for his ceremony. I would have told him about what was supposed to happen but werewolf law states that the person is supposed to be initiated is supposed to go with as little knowle
Ever since the pack announcement, everything in the pack has been a whirlwind. Everyone has been running around to organise the pack initiation ceremony as if it’s the most important even to happen in their lives. Decorations are being torn apart and hung again, menus are decided and then discarded, everyone is striving to make the even perfect. And it is all making me antsy. Surely, it is not that big of a deal, getting initiated into a pack. Even people’s attitudes toward me have changed, they somehow stand straighter whenever I enter a room, their heads bowing to me in deference, their voices going quieter and their smiles becoming brighter. I don’t understand what the big deal about all of this is because I have been living in this pack for the last couple of weeks and I’m still the same person. I’m still me but the way I’m being treated is completely different and disconcerting.I’m being treated like an alpha son, exactly how Ryder was used to being treated back home. I feel a l
Twenty years ago…After I talked to Samuel, I made my way home, tears blurring my every step. I felt like the world was crashing around me. I couldn’t breathe, I felt the air around me had been sucked out and I was stuck in a vacuum. How had this happened to me? I couldn’t for the life of me figure this mystery out. All my life I’d just wanted to have a mate, love him as truly and honestly as I can, and be there for him in every aspect. Now, here I was, practically rejected by a mate who had a pregnant girlfriend that he was planning to propose to. On top of everything, he had the gall to reject my child, choosing to stay with his girlfriend rather than his mate.Tears were already leaking out of my eyes when I reached my home, but as soon as the door closed behind me, I started bawling. I had expected my parents to be there, I wanted their support at the moment, I wanted their love. I also hoped selfishly that when I told them Samuel was my mate and that I was pregnant with his chil
I’d thought Lea’s father was in bad shape but I hadn’t expected it to be this bad. I could see an endless number of tubes going in and out of him, several machines beeping continuously, and he was sedated with such a high dose that I was sure he wouldn’t wake up if someone set him up on fire. His face looked black and blue his whole body is mottled with bruises and it’s crystal clear that he had been brutally beaten by the rogues before being left to die at the pack border for us to find.Lea had gone ghostly white after seeing her father in that condition and I couldn’t blame her. The scene reminded me of the time Brad was stuck in the hospital during the last couple of weeks of his life, how emaciated and weak and sickly he had started to look. It took me back to the time when Mom used to worry about him leaving us behind all the time, how the twins realized that he would leave and never come back. I’m sure these thoughts must be running in Lea’s head too, and I wanted to take her a
I’m once again in Samuel’s office. Surprise, surprise. In the short time we’ve been here, I have been here more than is normal for any pack member. I may as well set up my chopping block in this office because I’m summoned to be here so often. I think Kyle has also done everything possible to make sure we’re called again back to this office. Every time I’m here I’m brought back to the past when I and Aaron had been asked by Samuel’s dad to not see each other since we weren’t fated mates. My life has moved so far away from that trajectory, that it feels like a fictional tale someone uninvolved with my life is reciting to me. I can’t say my current life feels familiar to me because, for the first time in forever, Kyle hasn’t done anything remotely wrong. We’re here because of Lea and her father, and I’m a bit relieved that at least, we’re not the bad guys right now, always seemingly disrupting the pack peace, rules and regulations.For once, I wished we were called here for a good reaso
Samuel only summoned Lea to his office but Aaron didn’t raise an eyebrow when I volunteered to accompany her. I didn’t know how many people knew about Lea and I being mates but I’m guessing since Aaron didn’t stop me, he knows or Samuel must have hinted to let me come. If it had been any other situation, I wouldn’t have felt the need to be with Lea but since the issue is so sensitive, concerning the rogue attack on the pack and possibly, her father’s involvement in it.The idea hit me when I was running from the dungeons towards the pack house to talk to Lea. I didn’t believe she had anything to do with the rogue attack. I know she’s loyal and holds real regard for Samuel because he accepted her and her brother in his pack and gave them home without any prejudice. It would also be rare for a pack member to have any connections with a rogue and leak pack information for a planned attack. The only thing that made sense was for her father to be the mole. He is only an honorary pack membe