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09 | Porque mi cintura!
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2024-09-23 16:00:35If there's one thing I love about Sunday lunch, it's my mom's lasagna. Every Sunday, like a damn tradition.
Sure, it's delicious, and she cooks well, but after eating it every week, you eventually can't even look at it without losing your appetite.
My mom seems to get high on cocaine and hallucinogens every Sunday.
She has this obsession with inviting different relatives for lunch each time, and because of this, she's incredibly hyper. Today, she's even more so because she decided to invite all her siblings and my dad's siblings, and all four grandparents, to announce the news of the upcoming baby.
Some lunches only happen at Christmas and Easter, and we're such a dysfunctional family that they usually end in disast
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Within half an hour, things have gotten out of hand; we're all drunk except for my mom.The grandparents, to celebrate, gave alcohol to Jace and me. He's only slightly tipsy, while I'm completely gone after having a drinking contest with Grandpa Carl with beer and champagne shots.I have no idea what song is playing right now; I don't recognize it, but it's quite lively. Our living room looks like a freaking nightclub, and I've brought out my panda-shaped Bluetooth speakers to blast the music even louder.Grandma Maria approaches me. "Brianna, shall we do that nice butt move you young girls do?""You mean twerking?""Yes, exactly! We'll attract some nice guys!"
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I need to mentally prepare myself to go back to work since it's Tuesday.Yesterday, Jace sent me all the videos he took, including the one where I was singing standing on the coffee table.Oh God, when I saw the video, I didn't know whether to cry because the song was beautiful or because I realized I will never be normal.My mom told me she told Paul the truth, that relatives came over and I got drunk.Thanks, Mom. If it weren't for the fact that I work to pay for the damages, I would have been fired already.When I arrive at the shop, I see that the door is already open. Evidently, they took precautions.
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"Oh my God, it's so ugly!" I scream, hiding my face behind a pillow that I was holding against my stomach like a shield.What a brave person I am."It's obvious it's ugly. We're watching a horror movie, not a Disney cartoon."Along with me and Skyler, James and the chocolate bar, whose name I can't remember, have joined.My memory is pretty bad.I give James a disdainful look. "I know it's a horror movie. That's why I screamed when you walked into the room."Skyler laughs, while the chocolate bar raises an arm, inviting me to high-five.Like I'm going
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"It's delicious. Can I have another slice?"Julie made a chocolate salami for dessert, and it's absolutely wonderful. I've already had two slices, and I'm determined to have a third.Maybe then I'll take a fourth, and maybe a fifth.Or I'll pay her to come over and make desserts at our house.Julie smiles at me, pleased. "Of course, Brianna." She cuts another slice and places it on my plate, and I immediately dig in.Connor watches me, amused. "It looks like you've never had chocolate salami before."I swallow the bite I was chewing. "Aside from ice cream and chocolate, my mom doesn't like sweets, so she never makes them. And my dad and I are hopeless in t
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Today I have to babysit little Amanda.I started babysitting as a job when I was sixteen, so I could start saving some money.And yes, sometimes, well, rarely, I can act mature and responsible too. Even though the times I’ve actually been like that can be counted on one hand. But on the hand of someone who’s lost at least two fingers.I go to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Or to empty the cupboard. Depends on your perspective.I pull out a tub of ice cream from the freezer. Then I open the cupboard and grab a pack of paprika chips.Uh, but usually, chip bags are made up of eighty percent air, five percent broken and really broken chip crumbs, and finally only fifteen percent actual chips, which are always either too salty or have no salt at all.After my little reflection, I decide to take two packs of chips, not just one.In the end, it’ll be like I only ate one pack anyway.Then I grab a pack of cooki
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I keep staring at my phone screen, open to a Google page, carefully reading through the steps to exorcise Amanda.Jesus, if you're real, please don't let me end up in Hell for traumatizing a little girl.In my defense, I'm doing a service to humanity.I lift my gaze toward my father. "Okay, according to this site, 'Bible Today'—what kind of name is that, anyway?—it says the poor possessed person should be tied up. Apparently, the evil spirit controlling their body—these are the exact words—tends to get violent at the sight of holy water, a cross, or a Bible."I look back at my dad, and we both turn simultaneously toward little Amanda, who’s smiling at us, completely clueless.Dad smiles. "Alright Amanda, we're going to play a game. How about we pretend to be Indians? Does that sound fun?"The little girl claps her hands and laughs.Dad is pleased with this reaction. "Good. You'll be our prisoner, so we&rsqu
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Skyler: S.O.S. emergency! Come to my house right now, I need you.That’s the message I just received. After spending the afternoon at Skyler’s with her family, I exchanged numbers with her, James, and with the chocolate bar, also known as Connor.I haven’t had lunch because Amanda ended up telling my mom that it was Dad and I who broke her favorite vase. So, she’s started ignoring us, even when it comes to cooking lunch or dinner. She refuses to cook for us at all, and given the incidents that have happened in the past when Dad or I tried to make anything that involved fire or appliances, we both refuse to even enter the kitchen, let alone make ourselves a sandwich.As soon as Mom leaves to hang out with her friends, Dad and I raid the pantry.I quickly put on my shoes and bolt down the stairs, rushing to get to the front door as fast as possible. I fling the door open, shout to my parents that I’m l
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The volume of the music is really loud, so loud that I think I might go deaf as soon as I leave here.Jace and I came to the club, as we do every third Friday of the month. It has become a sort of tradition for us.Jace pulls me by the arm and we head to the bar.You can’t face a night like this without alcohol.Behind the bar is a girl with black hair, who immediately approaches us as soon as we sit on the stools.She smiles at us. “What can I get you?”My cousin shamelessly checks her out from head to toe, then winks at her and licks his upper lip. “You, if possible.”Stupid hormones. Jace acts like a girl with PMS who has her hormones on overdrive.The girl looks at him with disdain, then her gaze shifts to me. “What can I get you, beautiful?” With that, she opens a couple of buttons on her blouse to highlight her chest, and through all this, she’s looking at me and not Jace.
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 15 | Santa Claus
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 12 | Jack Lester
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 07 | Fragile construction
December 7thI step into the house, leaving my jacket and shoes at the entrance. I greet James and head toward the kitchen, hiding my purchase behind my back. "Guess what I bought?"James is leaning against the counter, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. "Tell me it’s not another Christmas decoration," he pleads."Nope, better," I say, sitting at the table. "I bought a house."He chokes on his drink. "You bought what?"I snicker at his expression. "A house. I bought a house, not 'what'.""You... You bought... How... With what money..." He takes a deep breath, sets the cup on the counter, and sits across from me at the table. "Brianna, I think you owe me a few more details." He’s so shocked that he’s gone a little pale.At that point, I place my new purchase in front of us, revealing a gingerbread house kit to assemble and decorate.James looks at me, then at the box, and back to me. He&rsqu
