Once we leave the store, James heads towards a parking lot, and I follow him, unsure of which ice cream shop we're going to.
Each passing day is getting hotter, like a hellish inferno. Like after a couple of hours under the sun, you might catch fire, so people can gather around you with sticks and roast marshmallows.
Yes, because of course, people roast marshmallows on people who are on fire.
When we reach the parking lot, James confidently approaches a black car. He opens it and gets in, inviting me to do the same.
As soon as I get in, I reach for the radio, but he slaps my hand away and gives me a stern look.
"I don't mean to be rude, but don't touch my baby."
I look at him, bewildered. I try to reach for the radio again, but he slaps my hand once more.
I whip my head around to face James. "If I can't touch your radio, can you at least put on some music yourself?" I grumble.
He glances at me briefly, then returns his focus to the road. He takes his right hand off the steering wheel and reaches for the radio, turning it on. Ed Sheeran's "Shape of You" starts playing, and I begin to sing along, or rather, I start shouting random words that don't even remotely resemble the lyrics. And definitely not in tune.
I turn the knob on the door to my right, and the window slowly comes down. I let the breeze hit my face, and my hair starts to whip around like I have Medusa's snakes on my head.
But it would be pretty cool to have them, so I could turn anyone I've meticulously planned to kill into stone and use the statues as battering rams to open doors when I can't figure out whether to pull or push.
As I continue singing, I start moving around like a fish out of water.
Suddenly, I feel something on my mouth and notice it's James's hand, which he's placed there to silence me. "Brianna, I don't want to be a jerk again, but you suck at singing and dancing. And right now, your hair is so messed up it looks like you've been electrocuted." He removes his hand from my mouth and returns to driving as if he hadn't just insulted me.
I slowly turn my head to him, giving him a very unimpressed look. I'm sure my mouth is forming a perfect O shape. I think of how to get a little revenge and come up with an idea.
I smirk in his direction, and he looks slightly worried. Maybe because opening the door could cause something to happen to him.
"So James, you said you care about your car, right?" I ask, continuing to stare at him.
He shifts nervously in his seat but tries not to show it. "I care about my car like any other guy would."
"So you care about it like it's your girlfriend!" I chuckle.
"Well, in the absence of a girlfriend, I treat my beloved car as such."
I don't let myself get distracted and start untying the laces of my right shoe.
He glances at me quickly, and when he realizes what I'm doing, his eyes widen.
"What... what are you doing?" he asks, agitated.
"I'm getting comfortable," I try to sound innocent.
Before he can even respond, I continue.
"Would you mind if I untie my shoes," I loosen the laces of my left shoe as well, "take them off," I remove both shoes from my feet, "and rest my feet on the dashboard!" I exclaim.
He pales. "You wouldn't dare..."
He doesn't finish his sentence because I've already placed my feet on the dashboard, crossing my legs. And since he's so stunned by my actions, I reach for the radio and change the station until I find a song I like, and he doesn't stop me. He's probably still processing what I did to his precious car.
After a while, he regains his ability to speak, which he had momentarily lost. "You're the spawn of the devil!" he exclaims.
I chuckle. "Actually, when my mom is angry and on her period, she could easily be mistaken for the Devil."
He blinks in disbelief and mutters, "Fantastic."
After fifteen minutes, he parks his beloved car next to a new ice cream shop.
We get out, and just because I hadn't embarrassed myself in a public place yet today, one of the straps on my backpack gets caught in the door, causing me to bump into it.
James looks at me and bursts out laughing. "So Paul was right when he said you're walking bad luck."
I laugh without much enthusiasm. "Very funny. Now, would you mind opening the car door? Thanks."
He approaches and helps me out.
We approach the ice cream shop, and as I'm about to open the door, he stops my hand. "Given past events, maybe it's better if I open the door. I wouldn't want to see something else or someone else fall because of you."
I look at him offended, reiterating that the painting didn't fall because of me, and I hit his arm with a fist. He winces in pain. "Damn, for a short girl, you have quite a bit of strength!" Meanwhile, he rubs the spot where I hit him with his other hand.
"I have a dad I compete with every time to get out of the house first when Mom asks if one of us can do her a favor. I had to build up muscle to push him aside and get out the door first. And every time my cousin visits, we always end up fighting over who gets the last piece of cake, since Mom bakes sweets every time someone comes to our house."
"Your family is strange!" he exclaims, without any trace of malice.
"Yeah. But we're very close, and it's something I love. On that front, I consider myself lucky."
James smiles at me. "My family is close too."
And with that, we finally enter the ice cream shop, and of course, he was the one who opened the door.
"Cookie and coconut.""I don't like coconut. Choose another flavor," James tells me."Who's eating the ice cream?" I reply."But I have to taste it.""I don't like the cream flavor you chose, yet I'm not complaining. It looks like I'll just eat the other flavor. Would you change one of your flavors just because I don't like it?""No.""There you go.""Why coconut, though?""Because it's my favorite flavor.""Terrible flavors."
The first week of work has finally passed, and the weekend is here, which means I can finally sleep in.They call it vacation, but then they load you with a ton of work, you have to work because you're unlucky, you risk losing a lung after ten meters of walking due to the heat, and you dream of the sea because your parents prefer the mountains. And anyway, I'd stay whiter than a mozzarella. Long live albinism.When I wake up, I notice it's only ten in the morning. Too early by my standards, but I was woken up by some screams, which I hope are my mom's, because if they were my dad's, they'd have had to lock his balls in a drawer to scream like that, and I hope for his sake that's not the case.I get out of bed and put on my panda slippers, which look a bit like those gian
If there's one thing I love about Sunday lunch, it's my mom's lasagna. Every Sunday, like a damn tradition.Sure, it's delicious, and she cooks well, but after eating it every week, you eventually can't even look at it without losing your appetite.My mom seems to get high on cocaine and hallucinogens every Sunday.She has this obsession with inviting different relatives for lunch each time, and because of this, she's incredibly hyper. Today, she's even more so because she decided to invite all her siblings and my dad's siblings, and all four grandparents, to announce the news of the upcoming baby.Some lunches only happen at Christmas and Easter, and we're such a dysfunctional family that they usually end in disast
Within half an hour, things have gotten out of hand; we're all drunk except for my mom.The grandparents, to celebrate, gave alcohol to Jace and me. He's only slightly tipsy, while I'm completely gone after having a drinking contest with Grandpa Carl with beer and champagne shots.I have no idea what song is playing right now; I don't recognize it, but it's quite lively. Our living room looks like a freaking nightclub, and I've brought out my panda-shaped Bluetooth speakers to blast the music even louder.Grandma Maria approaches me. "Brianna, shall we do that nice butt move you young girls do?""You mean twerking?""Yes, exactly! We'll attract some nice guys!"
I need to mentally prepare myself to go back to work since it's Tuesday.Yesterday, Jace sent me all the videos he took, including the one where I was singing standing on the coffee table.Oh God, when I saw the video, I didn't know whether to cry because the song was beautiful or because I realized I will never be normal.My mom told me she told Paul the truth, that relatives came over and I got drunk.Thanks, Mom. If it weren't for the fact that I work to pay for the damages, I would have been fired already.When I arrive at the shop, I see that the door is already open. Evidently, they took precautions.
"Oh my God, it's so ugly!" I scream, hiding my face behind a pillow that I was holding against my stomach like a shield.What a brave person I am."It's obvious it's ugly. We're watching a horror movie, not a Disney cartoon."Along with me and Skyler, James and the chocolate bar, whose name I can't remember, have joined.My memory is pretty bad.I give James a disdainful look. "I know it's a horror movie. That's why I screamed when you walked into the room."Skyler laughs, while the chocolate bar raises an arm, inviting me to high-five.Like I'm going
"It's delicious. Can I have another slice?"Julie made a chocolate salami for dessert, and it's absolutely wonderful. I've already had two slices, and I'm determined to have a third.Maybe then I'll take a fourth, and maybe a fifth.Or I'll pay her to come over and make desserts at our house.Julie smiles at me, pleased. "Of course, Brianna." She cuts another slice and places it on my plate, and I immediately dig in.Connor watches me, amused. "It looks like you've never had chocolate salami before."I swallow the bite I was chewing. "Aside from ice cream and chocolate, my mom doesn't like sweets, so she never makes them. And my dad and I are hopeless in t
Today I have to babysit little Amanda.I started babysitting as a job when I was sixteen, so I could start saving some money.And yes, sometimes, well, rarely, I can act mature and responsible too. Even though the times I’ve actually been like that can be counted on one hand. But on the hand of someone who’s lost at least two fingers.I go to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Or to empty the cupboard. Depends on your perspective.I pull out a tub of ice cream from the freezer. Then I open the cupboard and grab a pack of paprika chips.Uh, but usually, chip bags are made up of eighty percent air, five percent broken and really broken chip crumbs, and finally only fifteen percent actual chips, which are always either too salty or have no salt at all.After my little reflection, I decide to take two packs of chips, not just one.In the end, it’ll be like I only ate one pack anyway.Then I grab a pack of cooki
December 18Once, as teenagers, Carly and I had a delay, so we took pregnancy tests. Actually, the delay was one day for her and two for me, and at the time, our cycles weren’t regular. But once you start having an active sex life, anxiety is always lurking around the corner. Those minutes of waiting were endless, and seeing the negative result was a relief. We were teenagers, too young for a pregnancy, and not independent.But now I’m an adult—although my parents would have something to say about that—I live with my partner, and I have a job. Yet, as I sit on the bathroom floor with a positive pregnancy test in my hands, I feel like a teenager: terribly scared. Why did I take the test this time? Because the delay was a week, and ironically, many of the symptoms of a period are the same as those of pregnancy.James is out with his brother and my cousin, and the only sound in the house is Cometa barking, looking f
16 | COMETDecember 16I park the car in the driveway and turn to the back seat, looking at my gift. A Golden Retriever puppy meets my gaze, wagging its tail.“Now let’s go surprise your owner, shall we?” I reach toward the puppy and gently scratch its muzzle. “But first, we need to finish getting you ready.” An adorable bark fills my ears. I grab a reindeer antler headband from the seat next to me and place it on the puppy. I check that the tag with her name and number is secure, then pick her up and step out of the car.I walk up to the front door and, instead of using the keys to get in, I ring the doorbell.“I’m coming!” I hear James’s footsteps approaching. As soon as he opens the door, his eyes lock on the animal in my arms, and he looks shocked.The puppy keeps wagging her tail, so I hand her over to James and exclaim, “Merry Christm
December 15thJeremy“Wow, so many elves!” Aisha looks excited.The room is filled with people dressed as elves. I’m not sure I still like elves, not after they ate my cereal and tried to dunk my toothbrush in the toilet.“There are so many people,” I say, watching the line of people in front of us. James and Brianna brought us to Santa’s house, and now we’re waiting in line to tell him what we want for Christmas.“Lots of kids want to see Santa,” Brianna says, running a hand through my hair.“Why are we waiting in line when we could just wait for him at home by the fireplace?” That way, we could eat chocolate chip cookies and drink milk together—hoping the elves don’t steal my cookies.“Because this way, he can hear what you want today and then bring it to you on Christmas by coming through the chimneys,&rdqu
December 14thJames and I walk into his parents' house. The first to greet us is Julie, her arms wide open, ready for a hug. "There's my favorite person!"James steps ahead of me, arms spread for his mom, but she brushes past him and comes straight to hug me.I suppress a laugh at James’s offended, indignant expression—his arms still outstretched in disbelief. "Hi, Mom. It's so nice to know you care about me."Julie lets me go
𝟏𝟑 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫One of my fondest childhood memories during the Christmas season is the tradition of the elf. My parents used to tell me that Santa sent little helpers around the world to check if kids were being good or bad. If they behaved, the elf would leave a small gift, but if they were naughty, the elf would play tricks on them. These elves stayed in our house for almost all of December: during the day, they were lifeless dolls watching over us; at night, they came alive and acted. When I discovered none of it was true and it was my parents leaving the gifts or playing pranks, my heart broke. But I still remember the joy of those moments, which is why I played along when my parents told the story of the elves to Jeremy, once he was old enough to understand.Tonight, my brother is staying over at our house again, and the job James and I have is to make the elf "come alive." My mom let me know Jeremy didn’t behave well today, so we get to tap
December 12I toss the first bag of popcorn into the microwave and grab two giant bowls.Carly has organized a girls' movie night at her place. We each wrote the name of a movie on a slip of paper, drew one, and landed on Titanic. Though I strongly suspect we all wrote down the same film.“Why don’t we try making caramel popcorn?” Skyler asks, looking at us expectantly.“Skyler, darling, have you forgotten who you’re dealing with? I once burned pasta because I fell asleep while cooking. Let alone making caramel. Or any popcorn that doesn’t come out of a microwave.”A ding interrupts us.“Speaking of popcorn, it’s ready!” I exclaim, taking the first bag and emptying it into a bowl before popping the second bag into the microwave.“Yes, but Brianna took a cooking class. She can make food without burning it now,” Skyler says, trying to
December 11I roll onto my left side, curling up and bringing my knees to my chest. I adjust the comforter snugly under my chin and hug my legs. Closing my eyes, I pray the pain subsides quickly. Another cramp pierces through my lower abdomen.I feel a hand touch my shoulder.“How are you feeling?” James’s voice echoes in my mind.I don’t even turn to look at him.“Shh, don’t shout. My head’s splitting.”“I’ll take that as a ‘terrible,’ then,” he whispers.I grimace, even though he can’t see me. Terrible is an understatement.“Would you prefer some tea or hot chocolate?” He continues whispering while his hand sinks into my hair, massaging my scalp.I sigh in relief. “Tea.”I hear him get up from the bed.“Could you bring the hot water bottle too?”He kis
December 10thJamesI rub my eyes, feeling the burn. I’ve spent the last few hours working on the computer, and all I want to do now is relax with Brianna. I shut down my laptop, close it, and leave it on the desk in the study. Heading downstairs to the living room, where I last saw my girlfriend, I’m met with silence. I crane my neck and glance toward the kitchen, but it’s empty. Frowning in confusion, I run a hand through my hair, pushing back the strands that fall over my eyes.“Brianna?”I wait a few seconds, but there’s no response. Rounding the couch, I finally understand the rare tranquility in the house.And for once, it doesn’t foreshadow any disaster.Brianna is lying on the couch, fast asleep. Her expression is so serene it worries me. I step closer, placing two fingers on her neck to check if she’s still alive, and let out a sigh of relief wh
December 9thIf there’s one thing certain about my family, it’s that normality is definitely not for us. Especially when it comes to exchanging Christmas gifts. Why give serious things like underwear or socks when you can give quirky, out-of-the-ordinary, and morally questionable gifts? The beauty of having a family that is anything but uptight or close-minded is the ability to have fun without worrying about shocking or offending anyone. In fact, I used to be the one who was scandalized. Then I outgrew that phase.Ever since my cousin Jase and I started having our own money, exchanging gifts on Christmas Day has taken on a new meaning. In our family, we don’t compete to see who gives the most expensive gift but rather who gives the funniest one. Jase and I give gifts together, and every year we win the award for the best presents.Today's mission: come up with ideas so we know exactly what to buy.Technically,