Once we leave the store, James heads towards a parking lot, and I follow him, unsure of which ice cream shop we're going to.
Each passing day is getting hotter, like a hellish inferno. Like after a couple of hours under the sun, you might catch fire, so people can gather around you with sticks and roast marshmallows.
Yes, because of course, people roast marshmallows on people who are on fire.
When we reach the parking lot, James confidently approaches a black car. He opens it and gets in, inviting me to do the same.
As soon as I get in, I reach for the radio, but he slaps my hand away and gives me a stern look.
"I don't mean to be rude, but don't touch my baby."
I look at him, bewildered. I try to reach for the radio again, but he slaps my hand once more.
I whip my head around to face James. "If I can't touch your radio, can you at least put on some music yourself?" I grumble.
He glances at me briefly, then returns his focus to the road. He takes his right hand off the steering wheel and reaches for the radio, turning it on. Ed Sheeran's "Shape of You" starts playing, and I begin to sing along, or rather, I start shouting random words that don't even remotely resemble the lyrics. And definitely not in tune.
I turn the knob on the door to my right, and the window slowly comes down. I let the breeze hit my face, and my hair starts to whip around like I have Medusa's snakes on my head.
But it would be pretty cool to have them, so I could turn anyone I've meticulously planned to kill into stone and use the statues as battering rams to open doors when I can't figure out whether to pull or push.
As I continue singing, I start moving around like a fish out of water.
Suddenly, I feel something on my mouth and notice it's James's hand, which he's placed there to silence me. "Brianna, I don't want to be a jerk again, but you suck at singing and dancing. And right now, your hair is so messed up it looks like you've been electrocuted." He removes his hand from my mouth and returns to driving as if he hadn't just insulted me.
I slowly turn my head to him, giving him a very unimpressed look. I'm sure my mouth is forming a perfect O shape. I think of how to get a little revenge and come up with an idea.
I smirk in his direction, and he looks slightly worried. Maybe because opening the door could cause something to happen to him.
"So James, you said you care about your car, right?" I ask, continuing to stare at him.
He shifts nervously in his seat but tries not to show it. "I care about my car like any other guy would."
"So you care about it like it's your girlfriend!" I chuckle.
"Well, in the absence of a girlfriend, I treat my beloved car as such."
I don't let myself get distracted and start untying the laces of my right shoe.
He glances at me quickly, and when he realizes what I'm doing, his eyes widen.
"What... what are you doing?" he asks, agitated.
"I'm getting comfortable," I try to sound innocent.
Before he can even respond, I continue.
"Would you mind if I untie my shoes," I loosen the laces of my left shoe as well, "take them off," I remove both shoes from my feet, "and rest my feet on the dashboard!" I exclaim.
He pales. "You wouldn't dare..."
He doesn't finish his sentence because I've already placed my feet on the dashboard, crossing my legs. And since he's so stunned by my actions, I reach for the radio and change the station until I find a song I like, and he doesn't stop me. He's probably still processing what I did to his precious car.
After a while, he regains his ability to speak, which he had momentarily lost. "You're the spawn of the devil!" he exclaims.
I chuckle. "Actually, when my mom is angry and on her period, she could easily be mistaken for the Devil."
He blinks in disbelief and mutters, "Fantastic."
After fifteen minutes, he parks his beloved car next to a new ice cream shop.
We get out, and just because I hadn't embarrassed myself in a public place yet today, one of the straps on my backpack gets caught in the door, causing me to bump into it.
James looks at me and bursts out laughing. "So Paul was right when he said you're walking bad luck."
I laugh without much enthusiasm. "Very funny. Now, would you mind opening the car door? Thanks."
He approaches and helps me out.
We approach the ice cream shop, and as I'm about to open the door, he stops my hand. "Given past events, maybe it's better if I open the door. I wouldn't want to see something else or someone else fall because of you."
I look at him offended, reiterating that the painting didn't fall because of me, and I hit his arm with a fist. He winces in pain. "Damn, for a short girl, you have quite a bit of strength!" Meanwhile, he rubs the spot where I hit him with his other hand.
"I have a dad I compete with every time to get out of the house first when Mom asks if one of us can do her a favor. I had to build up muscle to push him aside and get out the door first. And every time my cousin visits, we always end up fighting over who gets the last piece of cake, since Mom bakes sweets every time someone comes to our house."
"Your family is strange!" he exclaims, without any trace of malice.
"Yeah. But we're very close, and it's something I love. On that front, I consider myself lucky."
James smiles at me. "My family is close too."
And with that, we finally enter the ice cream shop, and of course, he was the one who opened the door.
"Cookie and coconut.""I don't like coconut. Choose another flavor," James tells me."Who's eating the ice cream?" I reply."But I have to taste it.""I don't like the cream flavor you chose, yet I'm not complaining. It looks like I'll just eat the other flavor. Would you change one of your flavors just because I don't like it?""No.""There you go.""Why coconut, though?""Because it's my favorite flavor.""Terrible flavors."
The first week of work has finally passed, and the weekend is here, which means I can finally sleep in.They call it vacation, but then they load you with a ton of work, you have to work because you're unlucky, you risk losing a lung after ten meters of walking due to the heat, and you dream of the sea because your parents prefer the mountains. And anyway, I'd stay whiter than a mozzarella. Long live albinism.When I wake up, I notice it's only ten in the morning. Too early by my standards, but I was woken up by some screams, which I hope are my mom's, because if they were my dad's, they'd have had to lock his balls in a drawer to scream like that, and I hope for his sake that's not the case.I get out of bed and put on my panda slippers, which look a bit like those gian
If there's one thing I love about Sunday lunch, it's my mom's lasagna. Every Sunday, like a damn tradition.Sure, it's delicious, and she cooks well, but after eating it every week, you eventually can't even look at it without losing your appetite.My mom seems to get high on cocaine and hallucinogens every Sunday.She has this obsession with inviting different relatives for lunch each time, and because of this, she's incredibly hyper. Today, she's even more so because she decided to invite all her siblings and my dad's siblings, and all four grandparents, to announce the news of the upcoming baby.Some lunches only happen at Christmas and Easter, and we're such a dysfunctional family that they usually end in disast
Within half an hour, things have gotten out of hand; we're all drunk except for my mom.The grandparents, to celebrate, gave alcohol to Jace and me. He's only slightly tipsy, while I'm completely gone after having a drinking contest with Grandpa Carl with beer and champagne shots.I have no idea what song is playing right now; I don't recognize it, but it's quite lively. Our living room looks like a freaking nightclub, and I've brought out my panda-shaped Bluetooth speakers to blast the music even louder.Grandma Maria approaches me. "Brianna, shall we do that nice butt move you young girls do?""You mean twerking?""Yes, exactly! We'll attract some nice guys!"
I need to mentally prepare myself to go back to work since it's Tuesday.Yesterday, Jace sent me all the videos he took, including the one where I was singing standing on the coffee table.Oh God, when I saw the video, I didn't know whether to cry because the song was beautiful or because I realized I will never be normal.My mom told me she told Paul the truth, that relatives came over and I got drunk.Thanks, Mom. If it weren't for the fact that I work to pay for the damages, I would have been fired already.When I arrive at the shop, I see that the door is already open. Evidently, they took precautions.
"Oh my God, it's so ugly!" I scream, hiding my face behind a pillow that I was holding against my stomach like a shield.What a brave person I am."It's obvious it's ugly. We're watching a horror movie, not a Disney cartoon."Along with me and Skyler, James and the chocolate bar, whose name I can't remember, have joined.My memory is pretty bad.I give James a disdainful look. "I know it's a horror movie. That's why I screamed when you walked into the room."Skyler laughs, while the chocolate bar raises an arm, inviting me to high-five.Like I'm going
"It's delicious. Can I have another slice?"Julie made a chocolate salami for dessert, and it's absolutely wonderful. I've already had two slices, and I'm determined to have a third.Maybe then I'll take a fourth, and maybe a fifth.Or I'll pay her to come over and make desserts at our house.Julie smiles at me, pleased. "Of course, Brianna." She cuts another slice and places it on my plate, and I immediately dig in.Connor watches me, amused. "It looks like you've never had chocolate salami before."I swallow the bite I was chewing. "Aside from ice cream and chocolate, my mom doesn't like sweets, so she never makes them. And my dad and I are hopeless in t
Today I have to babysit little Amanda.I started babysitting as a job when I was sixteen, so I could start saving some money.And yes, sometimes, well, rarely, I can act mature and responsible too. Even though the times I’ve actually been like that can be counted on one hand. But on the hand of someone who’s lost at least two fingers.I go to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Or to empty the cupboard. Depends on your perspective.I pull out a tub of ice cream from the freezer. Then I open the cupboard and grab a pack of paprika chips.Uh, but usually, chip bags are made up of eighty percent air, five percent broken and really broken chip crumbs, and finally only fifteen percent actual chips, which are always either too salty or have no salt at all.After my little reflection, I decide to take two packs of chips, not just one.In the end, it’ll be like I only ate one pack anyway.Then I grab a pack of cooki
Set years later, Liam (the son) is a child, Aisha and Jeremy are teenagers.James and Brianna's HouseWhile James carries out the boxes with the Christmas decorations for the garden, Jeremy and Aisha are in the middle of a snowball fight with little Liam, with Cometa running and barking happily nearby.Brianna stands aside, watching the scene, sitting on the porch with a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. Even though Liam is already a few years old, it's still hard for her to believe that she's a mother. The past few years have been a whirlwind of emotions. Many times, the couple has felt panicked and like terrible parents, just like anyone raising a child for the first time. Especially during Liam's first year. Then things started to improve, and James and Brianna began to experience parenthood more peacefully. Even when Liam fell down the stairs. Because yes, from the moment the child started walking, falling
December 25Have you ever regretted a decision? Like, thinking it would have been better to listen to the person who said your idea was terrible? Because right now, that’s exactly how I feel, as an ambulance loads Grandpa Carl to take him to the hospital.From the moment Grandpa Carl and Grandpa Sean arrived, people started drinking. It’s normal for things to get out of hand quickly in our family, but it’s never happened this fast.We didn’t even have time to sit down at the table and start eating the appetizers when the tragedy happened. Grandpa Carl and Grandpa Sean, probably already drunk, challenged each other to see who could do the best handstand. Grandpa Carl went first, but since he’s old, his mind refuses to accept he’s getting older, so he tried it anyway. He ended up falling badly and hurting his leg, so we called an ambulance.The paramedics just loaded my grandpa into the ambulance
December 24We called Jase, Skyler, and Connor to help us prepare tomorrow's lunch. We spent the afternoon cooking, and while everything is ready, we also made a lot of disasters.Skyler burned two oven mitts; James mixed up the salt with sugar in the cake batter, which we had to redo; I, to avoid letting the egg roll off the table, dropped the pack of 6 eggs I was holding, and I couldn't even save the one that was rolling away; Jase put the turkey in the oven but forgot to turn it on, realizing after an hour; and Connor decided to taste everything instead of cooking, which is why we discovered James's mistake before it was too late.Before the guys arrived, I took off my ring with James's agreement. We want to tell our families at tomorrow's lunch, when we are all together. As for the baby, we won’t say anything until the first trimester is over. We're willing to pay a criminal to kidnap our moms for three months to avoid the pre
December 23I touch the ring on my left ring finger, happy. Last night was one of the best moments of my life. I can't believe that James loves me so much that he wants to spend his entire life with me and my bad luck.We're starting our family, and today I plan to tell him I'm pregnant. This morning I went to buy a sombrero, just in case he wants to run away to Mexico. I've been feeling nauseous ever since I thought my period was coming, but I haven’t started running to the bathroom every morning yet. I just had to hide the nausea and dizziness and pretend everything was fine so I wouldn’t worry James or make him suspicious.I’ve hidden the test in the bathroom, among the pads. There’s no reason for him to open that drawer.Now, in my hands, I have a little box with the proof that I’m pregnant. I walk out of the bathroom and go to find James, who’s in our room. He’s lying on the bed, loo
22 DecemberJamesWhile Skyler is responsible for keeping Brianna away from home until evening without making her suspect anything, I prepare the surprise for my girl: a romantic dinner to give her my Christmas gift in advance.I’ve set up the small table in the living room and scattered candles and rose petals all over the room. I’ve already lit the candles, tempting fate. I hope the house doesn’t catch fire while I’m not looking.Comet has already eaten, so she’ll be in a food coma all evening and won’t try to steal our dinner.I go upstairs to grab the gift, but before reaching my nightstand, I stop in front of the mirror. I examine my figure carefully, making sure everything is in order. I want this night to be perfect. Once I’m satisfied that everything is good, I open the third drawer of my nightstand and retrieve the little box hidden under my underwear, sli
December 21"I saw a video where this guy was hiding gifts inside household items, wrapping them up and making it look like the gift was something else. Do you think we could do that too?" I glance away from my phone to look at James, who’s lying next to me on the couch."And what exactly would you want to do?""I don’t know, like, we could put the wine-tasting tickets on a ladder and wrap the ladder up."James looks at me, confused. "But we don’t even have a ladder.""Well, this is the perfect chance to buy one.""You should think of something else." He adjusts himself on the couch, folding his arms behind his head. His shirt lifts slightly, revealing a part of his stomach. I get distracted from my idea and stare at him, hoping his shirt will lift more."Brianna?""Yes?" I look up and meet his eyes."When I told you to think of something else, I meant the gifts." He smirks.
December 20I’m three weeks pregnant. This is the result of the blood tests I picked up this morning. There are no longer any doubts that a life is forming inside me.Since I found out, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my future as a mother. I already see myself tumbling down the stairs with the baby in my arms. Or forgetting to pick him up from school, like a couple of times happened with my brother. Or forgetting that I’m a mother and freaking out when I find a child in my house.The last one, though, happened to my mom.One thing is certain: James will want to dress him up as a consequence.Even though his last name will be Reid, he still has the blood of the Lester family. This means that from the moment he steps into the outside world, his life will be a series of bad luck, crazy events, falling paintings, people seeing ghosts, restaurants banning him, alcoholic relatives or ones with onlin
December 19thWhen the alarm goes off, I feel nausea sweeping over me. And it’s not morning sickness, but anxiety from the blood test.Damn needles.“What time is it?” James mumbles from under the covers.“Seven twenty in the morning.”He slowly turns toward me. “Why are you waking up so early?”Oh nothing, just going to check if you got me pregnant.“Because I have a tyrannical mother who decided to go shopping early and will pick me up in twenty minutes.” I rub my face with my hands, trying to wake up. The only thing I want to do right now is go back to sleep.“And since when does your mom want to leave the house this early?”I look at James with one eyebrow raised. Why the hell does he need to ask so many questions so early in the morning? I’ll run out of answers soon. “The real question is: has she ever acted norma
December 18Once, as teenagers, Carly and I had a delay, so we took pregnancy tests. Actually, the delay was one day for her and two for me, and at the time, our cycles weren’t regular. But once you start having an active sex life, anxiety is always lurking around the corner. Those minutes of waiting were endless, and seeing the negative result was a relief. We were teenagers, too young for a pregnancy, and not independent.But now I’m an adult—although my parents would have something to say about that—I live with my partner, and I have a job. Yet, as I sit on the bathroom floor with a positive pregnancy test in my hands, I feel like a teenager: terribly scared. Why did I take the test this time? Because the delay was a week, and ironically, many of the symptoms of a period are the same as those of pregnancy.James is out with his brother and my cousin, and the only sound in the house is Cometa barking, looking f