Chapter 0002

Anguish and pain rip through my already raw heart, and for a while all I can do is look at him.

I stare at the annoyance on his face and the rage gathering in his eyes. I look away as tears well in mine and I stare at the floor as I blink them back, asking with a steady but tired voice, a voice that poorly hides how much this hurts me.

“How can you say that, Malachi?”

Malachi’s voice still bears cold fury as he responds with spite, “It’s true, isn’t it?”

His words are like arrows lodging into my chest, driving me closer to breaking down. He doesn’t stop there. He goes on in an irritated, annoyed voice, “I would never have married you if it wasn’t for my grandfather. You’re a nobody who wormed her way into my life, so let’s not act like this marriage is something it isn’t.”

My mood worsens because I realize he still believes I drugged him that night. A night that means so much to me, is like a stain to him. A stain he will never get to rub away as long as he’s married to me.

“Let’s leave Malachi. You’re upset.” Skye’s voice is soft when she speaks, her hand rising to touch his shoulder and rubbing it lightly. Malachi doesn’t flinch away from her the way he would if it was me. He doesn’t tell her he doesn’t like people touching him.

It’s just me he treats like that.

Malachi glares at me as he and Skye leave the office and I am left standing alone, my eyes burning with tears.

For three years I've loved Malachi, and I've hoped he would come to love me. I fell in love with him almost immediately after he saved me on my college campus, and I’ve been in love with him ever since. But he doesn’t love me.

He sees me as a plague on his life.

My mind goes back to the night he mentioned and replays how I remember it happened. I had been just as confused as he was the morning we woke up, and I couldn't remember anything of the dinner from the night before. I could only see that I woke up with Malachi Finn in the same bed, and it was evident we had spent the night together.

Malachi indeed married me so his grandfather would get off his back on marriage. If it hadn’t been for him, the union would have never happened.

I pull myself together and walk back to my desk, intending to call a cleaner up to see to the coffee spill when my phone rings on the table. I pick it up to see six missed calls and my heart lurches at the contact name.

It’s the hospital.

I pick it up immediately and a female voice asks calmly, “Am I on to Antonia Finn?”

I respond briskly, my heart pounding, “Yes. Yes you are. Is.. is my grandmother okay?”

The nurse’s sad tone and response makes my heart sink into my stomach.

“No, she’s not, Mrs Finn. She’s gone into critical condition and your presence is needed at the hospital right now.”

I run out of the office as fast as I can, my heart pounding as I blink back tears from fear.

I’m at the hospital in no time and I'm so scared that my hand shakes when I collect the room key and ward number from the nurse. I make my way up with my eyes watering and my nose flaring, my heart racing.

My grandmother is the only family I have left. I never got to know my father, and my mom died a few years after my birth. My grandmother is the one who raised me… and I haven't fulfilled all the promises I made to her.

We haven’t gone to France, or Spain, or bought a castle in England. I almost laugh with tears in my eyes at my thoughts but I bump into someone and a sharp annoyed voice rings in my ears, “Watch it, you fool!”

I want to ignore the insult.

An apology is already on my lips even when the voice comes again with a sneer in its tone this time, “Stalking me and Malachi to the hospital is such a desperate thing to do. You’re so insecure, Antonia.”

Skye’s tone is dripping with mockery, and I turn to find her looking down at me once more, like I'm some bug that has to be squashed. My heart tells me to ignore her and go see my grandmother but a greater part of me burns so hot that I have to respond, my tone, filled with righteous indignation when I do. “I have every right to want to know what he’s up to, Skye. I’m his wife.”

Skye’s expression is cool and calm as she responds mockingly, You’re certainly not a good wife, because I have news for you, Antonia. I’m pregnant.”

My world comes crashing down.

A sharp pain goes through my chest and I ask unbelievingly, “What?”

Skye nods and rubs her flat belly, looking like a model in her new outfit and staring at me with a proud look on her face, “I am pregnant, and the child is Malachi’s. You didn’t think he’d pick you over me, did you? Malachi has always loved me and he always will. You just wormed your way into his life.”

I lunge for Skye, the pain and hurt I'm feeling blinding me and subduing every sense of calmness as rage makes me want to bash her face into the hospital walls.

“You husband snatching slut!”

Skye responds in the same vein and soon we’re pushing each other and pulling at each other. I hold my tears in, promising myself not to give her the satisfaction of ever seeing me cry, but Skye relinquishes her hold on me suddenly, going to the floor in one fake motion and whimpering in pain, her hands clutched to her belly.

Confusion and sudden alarm fill me but Malachi’s cologne reaches me first, his voice follows close after tinged with obvious worry, “Skye!”

Skye makes a low sobbing sound and Malachi rushes to her. The moment he turns to look at me, it hurts me too much. It hurts me how much I want to burrow into his arms and cry because of the fear in me of what's happened to my grandma.

I’d do anything for him to reassure me.

Anything for him to hold me close and tell me it’ll be okay.

Malachi’s cold tone shatters my dream as he asks, “What are you doing here, Antonia?”

I breathe deeply, pain spiking under my heart but Skye’s voice comes in a low whisper as she responds instead, “She… she pushed me, Malachi.

I think… I think I'm bleeding.”

Dread fills me when Malachi looks at me and the open rage on his face makes me feel a thrum of hurt in my chest. I respond, already knowing he won’t listen to me but trying anyway, “I did nothing like that, Malachi.

She…,” Skye’s announcement comes back to my mind again and the sudden bitterness at the back of my throat I feel from it makes it too hard to say it, but Malachi cuts me off before I can, his voice dripping with spite and disgust.

“I don’t want to hear it, Antonia.”

Malachi’s tone is filled with annoyance as he continues, “I’m going to go get her checked, and you will wait here until we come out. We are going to have a talk about this.”

Panic flares into my eyes and I respond immediately in a nervous haste, “I can’t. My grandmother… My grandmother is dying, Malachi.

I have to go see her.”

I hate how needy I sound when I say those words, but it’s obvious from the look in Malachi’s eyes that he thinks this is an excuse. He issues the same command he did the first time, just harsher this time, “Move, and we won’t have a marriage to talk about.”

I stand there, watching Malachi cradle Skye in his arms as he takes her to a checkup room. Each minute they stay in there feels like an eternity and my body shakes from the onslaught of emotions I'm going through.

My grandmother is dying.

And Skye… Skye is pregnant. Tears gather in my eyes when I think of it, because their intentions about their relationship is clear now. He said she was only here for business, but he lied.

Malachi’s cold disgusted voice pulls me out of my thoughts once again, “Get yourself home. We’ll discuss this later.”

He doesn’t even look at me nor offer to come see my grandmother with me. Malachi holds onto Skye gently, who leans on him heavily, her head resting against his shoulder while his jacket is around her. I watch them go with a sad and pained expression in my eyes. When I finally get to the wardroom, I see my grandmother’s arms and know it’s too late.

The tears and emotions I'd been fighting back all day come in full force and I crumple by her bedside, sobbing. Her hands which would once be holding some knitting now lie on her abdomen, one on the other. Her hands and her face that once shone with so much warmth and joy are cold and lifeless now.

I cry my heart out, wailing on her body.

I didn’t… I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I was too busy fighting for a place in my marriage.