“Celia!” I heard someone whisper my name loudly but thought it must be a dream because I was still asleep.I was exhausted, I thought. Go back to sleep, girl.“Celia!” This time, it was louder and accompanied by the thunk of a pillow over my head.I scrambled up, my arm out to defend my head. “Mom, stop! I’m trying to sleep!”Even as I said it, thoughts started to filter into my head. She only used the pillow when I absolutely had to wake up. Otherwise, she’d have just left me to sleep in my own version of zombie land.“Celia, it’s late, you have to get up!” She stood over me, hands on her hips, arms akimbo as I gaped up at her.“The bus!” I screamed out as I realized that if I didn’t get on the bus that would take me to the Big Apple, then I’d be stuck in Iowa missing the first week of my new life. My mom could only afford to get one bus ticket, and if I missed this bus then I’d be stuck here. I had worked all summer to get extra money, but that was supposed to keep me going while I
I’d been on the bus for way too long, and I was exhausted. The trip had taken almost 30 hours because of storms in several states, and I’d had to change buses in Chicago. That had been an adventure all on its own. I climbed down off the local bus I’d picked up at the bus station around lunchtime and forgot all about how exhausted I was.I wandered around like Alice in Wonderland for so long that by the time I did get to the dorm, I was barely able to make my feet move. I wanted nothing more than to make my bed, order a pizza, and pass out. But that would mean I’d continued my old habit of comfort eating.I hated it. It was never about eating out of hunger, but more to make me feel good, or to quench that sudden urge. It never really made me feel good though, because not only would I regret it every time I put on my pants and found out they were a little bit tighter, but the guilt of eating so much garbage would always weigh heavily on my mind.“Shit!” I yelped as I tried to open the d
We unpacked and shared our secrets. It started with Rachel when she turned to me with a shy smile.“I didn’t look like this at high school. I shed fifty pounds to make sure that no one called me fatty when I got here.”My eyes went wide and smiled. “Wow, that’s really great! I’m impressed!”She had a lot of willpower, then. I didn’t and for a split second, I wished that I had.“It was a lot of work, but I did it.” She twirled a little and smiled happily. She waited for something, I wasn’t sure what and then it hit me.She’d shared a secret, now it was my turn.“I’ve never kissed a guy,” I smiled, knowing that she would figure out that this meant that if I hadn’t kissed one, there was no way that I’d been down and dirty with any of them.We were talking like a couple of women that’d had a little too much to drink and were in their apartment sharing secrets. Maybe it wasn’t really that odd, I thought. We were freshmen at NYU with not a friend in sight, and maybe that was the reason that
“That was fucking nuts!” I cried out as I shuffled through all the information on the stalls and decided that I’d signed up for one too many. The problem was, we got to the stalls and we were so busy signing up to stuff together, that we didn’t notice exactly how much we’d signed up for.Rachel saw some girls that she met when she first arrived on campus and she pointed them out to me. She said that they were going to have a party in their dorm which seemed a little crazy to me, but she said we could go if I wanted to.I looked at her, a little confused. We’d just got here, and they were already having a party? I wasn’t ready to be that sociable yet. In the space of five hours of being here, I’d already told my roommate may be a little too much and I hadn’t even called Mom yet, let alone Nan, to tell them that I’d arrived safely.I held my hand up to Rachel as soon as the thought occurred to me and pulled my phone out of my back pocket.“I have to call my mom,” I said as soon as the p
“Hey, here she comes again. She’s just a freshman, right? She sure acts like she owns the place, I see. Pretty bold for someone that’s only been here five minutes.”“So, ignore her,” Grant, my brother, said as my eyes traced up and down the freshman’s body. As I raked her over with my eyes I wondered if she was really a freshman and not a senior. She had the body of a full-grown woman that knew how to use it, not an innocent girl, fresh out of high school.She glided across the bar with a swagger of confidence that caught a lot of attention and I knew that she was headed in our direction from the way that her eyes stayed on me. It was a kind of dance, as she crossed the large room and swerved around other bodies. No matter how many times I tried to get away from her eye contact, she managed to stare right back at me.Grant moved away from me like he always did when it came to girls. Not all girls, but the confident type, the ones that acted as if they wanted to be in charge of him, or
A message popped up on my phone’s screen as I dug through the boxes around me.What are you wearing?I thought about Mom’s words about having fun. I thought about Rachel being out and having fun and decided that I wouldn’t ignore the message. Now, I just had to think of how to reply.Sure, it was a stranger, I didn’t even know how they’d got my number, but it was only a little fun, right?Not really. Maybe for someone like Rachel, who made friends easily and had boys following her all over campus, that would be easy, but for me, it was just… hmm.My only interaction with the males of our species had been with my male cousins, uncles, and my male teachers. I had never had a boyfriend and I didn’t know how to talk sexy. The only thing I knew came from movies and television.What should I reply, I wondered with my lip between my teeth and my brows furrowed.I didn’t have a clue.So, I looked up and down at what I was wearing, wondering whether to lie or not and replied.Blue jeans, light
It was a week later, and I couldn’t hide the grin on my face as I texted my mystery texter back. I’d been to class, done my day’s work and now it was my free time and I was spending it just the way I wanted to.I felt dirty and naughty, but oh, so nice, all at the same time. No more was I being the good little girl hiding behind her books and study sessions. I was showing what was really in my mind and I loved it.I thought about all the things that I wanted a guy to do me. I thought about all the things that I wanted to do to him. Mainly, I would give him the freedom to make me feel like the woman I wanted to be, more than anything else sometimes.I started to feel my body respond as I pressed the send button. I knew the reaction that I would get from sending such a message and it excited me.You’re making me really hard right now.I wrote back with no hesitation… Good!Then I waited, feeling my legs slide up and down the bed as I started to imagine him, touching me in all the places
“What does a girl have to do to get fed around here?” I stared at the menu and tried not to let my frustration show. The place was busy, but the waiter hadn’t even come over to ask if I wanted a drink yet. But with every booth filled, it was hardly his fault, was it?I waited a few more seconds, then I sighed as I put the menu down. I put it down hoping that he’d know I was ready to order.“That’s a good idea. He’ll come over now. Mind if I sit with you? The place is full.”I looked up as the sound of a feminine voice beside me broke through the noise in the diner. “Pardon?” “I asked if I could join you?” I’m starving!?” She slid into the booth on the other side and put her arms up on the table, her hands crossed. She had medium brown curly hair and green eyes that now begged me to answer her one and only prayer. She was cute, pretty even, and she looked ordinary enough. Not a threat.“Sure, that sounds alright.” The waiter came just as I agreed, and I ordered what I wanted. He turne