I followed Alessandro on my bike, after having a quick expresso and sobering up, as he stopped at the entrance, I didn’t go any further. Rik said nothing to him, and I could only assume that Dad was in the limo. Fuck. He didn’t even get out, and Alessandro wasn’t in there for long. What the fuck was going on?All the color from Alessandro’s face disappeared the moment he saw me. He shook his head as I drew closer. I didn’t even have to open my mouth. Whatever it was, it had him rubbing his wrist as if it was hurt. When he stopped, I could see that it was bright red. “Dad do that?” I asked as I pointed to it. He nodded but continued to stare at the space that the limo was once in, as if he was reliving the time that it was there. “I fucked up, Carlo,” he sobbed. The last time that I’d seen my brother cry was when he was nine and someone ran over our fucking dog. That had him in tears, but since then he’d been the hard front of our family. Now he was holding onto me, sobbing in my
I never should have left him. I shouldn’t have thought about my own selfish needs, studying, living a life. He was my blood, and I’d let him down. That was the reason that he was dead. It was all down to me. “Bianca, I need to leave soon,” Erika whispered as she approached the bed. My curtains were drawn, and apart from going to the bathroom, I hadn’t left my room all weekend. Nan had tried to come in a few times, but I told her to leave me alone. I wanted to be alone in my thoughts, and, most of all, my grief.“It’s just that it’s past four, and I don’t know if you’re coming back to campus or not?”This time she was sitting at the end of the bed. I’d been horrible to her. I asked her to come to give me support, and all I’d done was ignore her. I pulled back the duvet and croaked, realizing that my voice was all messed up, most likely from dehydration and lack of sleep. All I’d been thinking of doing was just being by myself. I’d been selfish, and I hated myself for it. “I’m sorry,
We heard from Bianca, who confirmed what we already knew. Her dad was dead. Dad had told Alessandro that we were going to keep away from Bianca, and Alessandro had answered my behalf. Something that I wasn’t happy about and I didn’t agree to.I decided to call Dad here so we could talk like men. We could figure out a solution, and we would lay it on the line for him to agree to a way forward. One that didn’t involve stopping us from seeing Bianca.“Adolfo, where are your brothers?” Dad asked as I opened the door to the apartment. There was no How are you, a hug, or even a handshake. He was as cold as ice, and Rik stood firmly behind him. He was making it tough, but then I never expected it to be easy.“They’re in the living room. Waiting.”I moved out of the way so that he could enter. Even though he paid the rent and pretty much provided all the furnishing inside the apartment, he was being respectful as if he had no right to be there. That was one thing about Dad—he believed in res
I watched as the boys arrived with Erika to the burial, because there was no funeral service. She asked if it was an issue, because I hadn’t spoken to them lately. I said that it wasn’t, because they were coming to support me, and it would be selfish to refuse them that privilege. They’d done nothing wrong, and I’d taken my anger out on everyone but the one person who deserved it, because he was dead. I couldn’t vent to him, as much as I wanted to do that. No, I had to carry on and be thankful that he didn’t take me down with him. I felt shitty for thinking it or even voicing it when I spoke to Uncle Floyd or Nan, but Dad being dead meant that we were safe. He would have not only sold his soul to the devil, but all of ours too if it meant that he got to gamble more. I’d convinced myself for so long that he loved me, but when he last came to see me, the truth was staring me in the face and I still denied it. Dad only loved himself. Alessandro strode up to me and gave me a hug, looki
The last few months had been crazy. Between her dad’s death and finding out she was pregnant—not just with one baby, but with three—she’d missed a lot of classes, and she decided she wanted to spend time just being a mom. It just made us love her even more. She discovered that she struggled so much in her final year because she didn’t have a passion for philosophy anymore, but she knew that one day she would find it again. She just couldn’t graduate when she was struggling to do her thesis.It seemed as if Paul passing away had changed many things in her family’s lives too. Not only was her Nan dating, but her Uncle Floyd also, for the first time in years.As for my brothers and me, well, we had to leave our apartment. Luckily, we managed to raise some funds by selling the furniture before our dad officially kicked us out, hiring some goons to come over and change the locks. As for Mom, well, she turned her back on us too. It was inevitable; whatever Dad said went, and there was no do
August 2018Finally, summer was almost over, and it was time for me to leave Grandma’s house to get ready for university. It was the new beginning for some, but for me, it was everything. I would leave my high school paper behind and be in the big league. The university paper, the one thing that I’d dreamt of doing since I was a little girl. “If you stare at that mirror long enough, it’ll break.” Grandma winked as she stood behind me. I didn’t even realize that she was in the room. I’d decided to spend my last few weeks during summer before moving to university with her; I told Mom that she needed the company; it was a lie. I was the one that needed the company. Grandma was home all the time unlike Mom who worked all the time, and the truth be told, between my friends all getting ready for university and going on vacation, I was the only one around, and I was kind of lonely.“No, I just need to change my hair color, maybe or even lose a few pounds. Chicago University ’s new semeste
“I have some bad news.” Jenny stood in the front of the conference room, a room filled with tables, paper, files, and most of our office supplies, a serious frown marred her features. We rarely used the room for anything other than days like today, when Jenny, our student newspaper adviser, had news that we all needed to hear at the same time. Usually news we didn’t want to hear, and I squirmed in my seat, uneasy.I stared at her face, saw the worry lines at the corners of her gray eyes, mostly hidden behind a pair of black-rimmed glasses, and noted how flushed her face was. She’d either hit early menopause or she was worried. Her pencil-straight black hair, cut in a short bob just at her chin, gave her a severe look, but she wasn’t at all. Normally, she was quite playful, helpful, and kind. Today, however, she was worried, and it showed in everything she did, especially when she started to wring her hands together. I tapped my favorite pen, a bright orange, thick enamel pen my dad b
I couldn’t focus on the conversation the two girls were having, they were looking at clothes that they wanted me to try on when we got to the mall in a few days. All I could think about was the fact that the paper needed the money.“What size pants do you wear, Tessa?” Cheryl asked while she stared at her iPhone’s screen avidly.“An 8 or a 10, just depends,” I replied, not really paying attention, I was proud to say my new size. I’d done well to watch my weight and lose a few pounds in the last year. It’d helped me a little bit with my confidence when I came here, but obviously hadn’t helped my closet. It was true, that most of my clothes were in my old size, there was something satisfying with wearing something that didn’t fit. Pants that were too tight, were now joggers. Then again, they weren’t sexy, I wasn’t a Tomboy, but maybe they were right, I should have been focusing on clothes not worrying about the paper which was all I seemed to do morning, noon and night.That was when it