"Shit, I need a cold shower or a wank. Leanna Woodson's looking good. All I can think about is her in a little bikini mud-wrestling Sally." Adam laughs, not caring at all that Sally is standing there with her friends. The three of them glare at him, but he doesn't take any notice. "Do you reckon she'll be at her sister's party tonight? I might pull her."
"Kim's having a party?" I'd not heard about that which surprises me since I live next door and since Kim doesn't hate me the way Leanna does, she usually invites me.
"Hey Muscle Man." Talk of the devil… I turn around at the sound of Kim's voice, she's standing with Jake, her massive, tattooed hulk of a boyfriend, who simply raises an eyebrow at her greeting, staring off into the distance as though we're all beneath him.
What Kim sees in him I'll never know? He's an absolute dick and she's really not.
At least the sight of him has Sally, Bethany and Gail murmuring their goodbyes and rushing off down the road, so I don't have to deal with Sally's attention, she's been flirting more and more recently no matter how obvious I make my disinterest.
"Hey, Little Kimmy, what's up?" I smile, knowing she hates the nickname as much as I hate her calling me Muscle Man.
"Well, I was going to invite you to my party tonight, but I'm not sure now." Jake places his hand on the small of her back and she gives him a little grin, before turning back to face me. "Starts around nine, after the parentals leave."
"Does Lea know?" Her eyes glint mischievously as her smile widens to show nearly all her teeth, so I know the answer without her saying anything. "She's going to kill you, you know that right? After what Ellie Simmons did with Andrew Winters in her bed at your last one. I swear I could hear her shouting at them all the way across the road. If it happens again, that's it, Little Kimmy is all stabbed up and buried under that patio."
"Don't be silly, my sister loves me. The only person she ever fantasises about stabbing is you." She beams at me as though she finds the whole situation amusing. She probably does to be honest. Kim's never taken much seriously, which is why everyone was surprised when she started seeing Jake, a guy that seems to have only a single permanent facial expression. Disinterested. Even when someone pisses him off, he seems like it's a waste of his time to interact with them, conserving his energy so a single hit deals with the problem.
"Oh yeah she does, but we both know her fantasies involve me doing the stabbing." I wink at her and even Jake barks out a laugh at that. I'm surprised he's got any sort of sense of humour, but it's only a momentary blip before he's stone faced again.
"In your dreams." She turns. As if he knew what she was going to do before she did it, Jake reaches out and laces her fingers with his, leading her over to his car and she calls over her shoulder. "See you later, Muscle Man."
"Pre-drinks at yours then, Nath?" Callum says once they've driven off. I nod, swinging my car keys on my finger and heading to where it's parked beside both of there's.
"Meet you there, just come over when you're ready. Door'll be open."
****
Even if Kim hadn't told me there was a party, it would be obvious from the amount of people arriving and the steady beat of the music that escapes every time the door opens.
My front door bangs shut and then Shane's voice calls through from the kitchen.
"Nathan, you know you're my favourite of all my sister's friends. Can you give us a lift to my mate's. Please? Kim's kicked us out because she doesn't want me telling embarrassing stories about her to Jake."
I can't stop laughing when he and his friend Luke appear in the doorway, arms full with bottles of beer and big grins on their faces like they've pulled off a major robbery.
"Oh really? Nothing to do with you stealing those drinks then?" I stand up, Callum and Adam helping take the alcohol away from the boys who are scowling at us. "You know I can't let you take them all with you, you're thirteen."
"I thought we were cool, you used to be fun, mate. What happened?" Shane mutters, then looks up at me, putting his best adorable smile on his face. "Can you give us a lift, please?"
"I've been drinking, but Gemma might take you if you ask nicely and give her one of these. Which I didn't tell you to do, nor did I know about if my parents find out, understand?" I offer one of the bottles out to Shane and they back out of the room, facing us until the door closes and we hear their footsteps running up the stairs, the clink of glass going with them.
"You know they had bottles hidden in their back pockets?" Callum laughs and I nod.
"Yep, gotta let them have a win occasionally. Poor little sods. Gemma'll take it off them before they get out her car, she absolutely loves the little shits." Another blast of music comes from next door, followed by laughter and shouting. I pick up the bottles we took from the boys. "You wanna finish these now, or head over?"
"Let's go, I'm just the right amount of drunk to show Leanna the night of her life." Adam snickers and Callum whacks him around the back of the head.
"Give over. Even if she wasn't off limits, she'd never touch you, but there'll be loads of willing girls there." He says, pushing himself up from the sofa and grabbing the necks of three bottles before heading to the door. "Look there, Gail and Bethany are going in now, try one of them."
"Or both." He raises his drink in salute to Callum and I before heading out the door and straight over to the girls. We follow, watching as he drapes an arm around each of them and guides them indoors, any thought of Leanna seemingly forgotten.
"You reckon he'll manage to even get one of them?" I ask Callum who laughs and shakes his head.
"Nah, I'm fairly sure the two of them are a thing, they'll flirt with him, but they never go home with anyone but each other."
"Seriously? How did I never notice?" I look over at the two girls, seeing them laughing with Adam and realising as much as they flirt, I've never heard about anyone successfully pulling them.
"You'd notice if one of them was Leanna." He smirks, then grunts and clutches his stomach when I jab him. "Uncool dude."
"Fuck off about Leanna, you know it's not like that."
"Mmm hmm, so she's off limits, why?" He gives me a meaningful look before swigging from his bottle and looking around the room.
"She was my best friend, that's why, I didn't want any of you lot fucking around with her and ruining that." I say, but he raises an eyebrow at me in disbelief.
"I've known you forever dude, so you know that I know, that you only made her off limits when you two fell out." He taps his head to indicate his own perfect memory. "You were seeing Ali Cooper and suddenly Leanna Woodson was a possibility to every lad in our year. So don't give me crap about it being to protect your old bestie when I know better."
"Whatever dude, it was ages ago, it doesn't even matter now, she rejects people perfectly well on her own."
"That she does dude, that she does." He pats my shoulder affectionately and we glance at Adam who's flirting shamelessly with Gail and Bethany.
The party is packed, there must be pretty much everyone from school here. Kim's laughing with her friends in the living room and when we move through to the garden we see Jake and a few of his friends sat around a bonfire.
"Hi Nathan." A small voice says from behind me and my whole body tenses in response.
"Bye Nath, Bye Georgie." Callum, the traitor, runs back indoors with an apologetic look the instant we hear her voice.
"Uh… Georgie, hi." I look around for an escape in vain, even risking a beating by hanging out with Jake and his friends is preferable, but I'm not sure that would get rid of her, they're probably just as freaked out by her as the rest of us.
"You dropped this today." She offers me out a piece of paper and when I open it up, it's Sally's phone number that she gave me and I tossed in the bin at the end of Art.
"Uh, yeah, thanks for that." I scrunch it up, planning to toss it into the fire when I get close enough. "Well, see you…"
"She's not right for you." She says, her intense gaze unwavering. I somehow stiffen further when I realise she hasn't blinked the entire time she's been standing in front of me.
"Yeah, I know, I'm not interested in Sally." I nod, looking around to see where Callum went, but he must have gone indoors.
"I don't mean Sally." I down my drink and make a show of tipping it upside down.
"I'm going to go and get another drink, see you." My legs move quickly away from her and I feel my breathing ease. Once I'm inside, I spot Callum chatting to some other guys from school. "What the fuck man?"
"Sorry dude, she freaks the shit out of me." He shudders for emphasis and then passes me a beer, then looks at the other guys standing there with confused looks on their faces. "Georgie Patterson."
They all make O faces, nodding in agreement with his statement.
"There's something wrong with her."
"I heard she broke into Emma Cole's house and threatened her to stay away from Chris Parkhouse, back when Emma and Chris were together." A ginger lad says, looking at me with wide eyes. "They split up not long after."
"Didn't she cheat on him?" I ask, it has been all over school that Emma had slept with Max Carlisle at one of his parties, the real gossip was that Chris had been downstairs at the time.
"Yeah." Ginger lad nods emphatically, taking a swig on his drink. "She swears she doesn't remember doing it, says she was out of it and had a monster hangover the next day. But Chris said it was an excuse because she wasn't even drinking and was found naked in bed with Max the next day. Neither could remember a thing, but Georgie was there, everyone reckons she spiked them both but there was no doubt they fucked, apparently loads of people heard them going at it for hours."
"I wouldn't put it past her, fucking crazy bitch. Hey, you're Nathan Graham right?" The ginger lads blonde friend adds his face suddenly turning sympathetic. "I heard Liv Hugh's saying Georgie's got a load of your pictures up in her room, she's somehow got one of your shirts there too. I'd steer well clear mate."
"What the fuck?" Callum burst out laughing but then their eyes narrow over my shoulder and I know before they say anything that Georgie has come into the room.
"Nathan, I got you a drink." She offers me a can of beer and all three guys subtly shake their heads at me as I reach for it.
"Uh, thanks Georgie." I hold it in my hand, wondering how to get rid of it without tipping her off. I don't know if she did spike Emma and Max, but the possibility is enough to stop me testing the theory.
"Nath, is the bathroom upstairs? You wanna show me where it is?" Callum asks and I nod too quickly.
"Sure mate, follow me." We slip past Georgie, the other guys already on their way outside and run upstairs. "Thanks Cal."
"No worries, oooo look Adam's moved on, they're hot. Ditch the drink quick and come join us." He nods at Adam who's standing with a group of five pretty girls, then he's heading over there and I run up to the bathroom, tipping the drink Georgie gave me, down the sink.
My bedroom pulses with the music that's playing through the house, the steady thud, thud, thud of the beat causing ripples in my drink on the bedside table. Glancing at my clock on the wall, I estimate this continuing for at least another four or five hours.Bang!I jump as someone falls against my door, giggling drunkenly outside my room.Idiots!I turn up the volume on my TV, the subtitles skittering across the bottom so I don't miss anything important due to the noise of the party. My parents are out with the neighbours again.Lucky bastards!There's an
I wake up with Leanna's head on my shoulder, my arm wrapped around her and hers draped loosely across my waist. It reminds me of our younger years, when we'd fall asleep in the lodge after watching films. The years when all I wanted was to be around her, it didn't matter that our siblings were there too, all that mattered was making her happy. Then I stupidly kissed her and ruined it all, managed to break my own heart and end our friendship with one stupid act and ever since, the only way I've kept up any sort of contact is by constantly irritating her. But with her now, sleeping in my arms, something stirs in my chest and I'm afraid the feelings that I've tried to suppress for so many years are starting to resurface. Like a creep, I watch her sleeping until su
Some absolute moron slashed my tyres during the party so I have to ride into school with Kim and, even though I'm dreading actually getting to school after Olivia thought it would be funny to post that photo of Nathan and I and make out like something happened, being with Kim puts me in a surprisingly good mood. As much as I complain about having to be the extra responsible one now that she's off following her own path, seeing how happy she is makes it worth it and I'm starting to wish I was more like her. Spontaneous, carefree and full of the absolute joy of life. We pull up outside Liv's house and instead of honking or knocking on the door or even ringing to let her know we're outside, she drops the window, turns the volume up on the radio which is blaring Olivia by One Direction from her phone and sings along at the top of her voice, nudging me to get me t
I hadn't planned to annoy Leanna again, I'd actually thought we could try and get back to being friends. I hate to admit it, but being on my own with her made it glaringly obvious how much I enjoy being with her and how much I've miss her the last few years. She's so funny, easy to talk to and she has no idea how amazing she is, she's too busy comparing herself to her sister and feeling like she comes up short.I saw her this morning, watching Kim dick around and I swear the desire to be doing the same was just rolling off her, I'm surprised her friends didn't notice.I wanted to go over there, drag her out over and chuck her onto that wall, tell her her parents aren't going to be upset if she makes a few mistakes. I don't know why I didn't, but I'm fairly sure after hearing the rumours going around school, she would be more likely to smack me in the face than
Max asks my friends and I to help set up the party, so we drive over straight after school to join the small group helping to set up drinks areas, hiding valuables and breakables, moving furniture and building a bonfire in the garden, because apparently that's the new must thing for high school parties."Hey." He pulls us each into a big hug, leaving an arm around both Mille and me as he guides us into the kitchen. "So, this is the bar area, I need you two to make sure the cups and drinks are all spread out, that ok? Kev and Sam are bringing the crates in from the car.""Sure." He winks at us and then takes Italia and Corrine into the next room as we get to work."Would you judge me if I slept with him tonight?" Millie asks, grouping drinks by type on the counter. "Well, try anyway."
Max's house is a short walk from Adam's, so we get there about 9pm and the party's already in full swing. The living room is filled with a mass of bodies rubbing all over each other as they dance and I can hear a group chanting "chug, chug, chug," in the kitchen while a guy is drinking from an oversized glass tankard. "Kev says there's a bonfire in the garden." Callum says, so, grabbing some beers, we wander through the rooms towards the backdoor. Somehow, despite the horde of people outside, the first thing I see is Leanna sitting and laughing with Max's brother Jack. A pang of jealousy spikes through me and recently I'm finding it harder to suppress whatever residual feelings are lingering from when we were younger. "What're you going to do to her?" Adam sniggers, following my line of vision and
I wake up feeling like a zombie, my head aches, my stomach is threatening to revolt with every movement and my body feels like it belongs to someone else. I've got vague memories of the night before but it's so hazy I'm not sure what's real and what was a dream. "How're you feeling?" Kim puts a cup of tea on the table and although I know she didn't slam it down, the sound ricochets around my brain. "Like death." I croak. "What happened?" "Jake reckons you were spiked, Millie said you were fine before you left her and it was less than half an hour between that and Nathan finding you in Max's bed." "What? Max?" I try to sort through the memories in my head and a fuzzy one where Max and I are kissing in his room seems to hover at the forefront. "Oh god, I didn't, did I?
Leanna looks white as a sheet when she comes out of the room with the tarot woman and I'm worried about what's going on, but then Ms Jewkes is calling my name and gesturing for me to follow her.I have no idea why I'm here, I don't believe in this stuff and the weird stick thing she's burning is making me anxious, it's like I can't breathe properly which is the opposite of what should happen or so I'm told.She gestures to a seat and asks me to sit down, then puts an oversized pack of cards in front of me and tells me to shuffle until I feel ready to split them into three. I do as she asks, because I don't want to be rude, but the whole time I'm wondering what amount of shuffle time is appropriate, in the end I go for slightly longer than I feel I should, just so I don't look like I'm not taking this seriously."Ok
The pains start around 3am. I was in a lovely deep sleep when I was woken to cramps starting low in my back, reminiscent of the terrible food poisoning incident in Venice nine months ago that seems to be the cause of this particular incident. My own lack of education meant I didn't think twice about jumping on Nathan the second I felt better, not realising my contraceptive pill wouldn't be effective during a nearly week long episode of sickness and diarrhoea. We found out about a month after the wedding, two days after moving into our first home together. We'd both taken jobs instead of going to university. Nathan with an accountancy firm and myself at a legal firm, both of us signing contracts which meant they would train us and we would study from home, so while we could only afford to rent a house at the momen
The last few months at school were relatively relaxed, as much as they can be when you're taking exams that affect your future, but in comparison to what we'd been through the previous month's, I'd happily take the exams over and over again.Corrine was right when she said the police could do nothing about what she did, there was nothing illegal done, immoral definitely, but nothing they could charge her with. For the first week she strutted around, casting smug looks at us whenever she saw us and somehow managing to befriend Sally Matthews, so she had people to hang out with.That rapidly changed when Kim and her friends told everyone what she did, the gossip was rampant and although the other kids didn't approve of what she did to Leanna and I, it was the belief that she caused Max to go off the rails that really got her ostracised socially.
I'm not pregnant! It seems I never was. I've taken ten different tests. One from each brand in the shop, just to be sure. There wasn't even a hint of a positive on any of them. I've got mixed feelings. My sister, Jake, Shane and Luke all cheered with each negative result and I'm obviously relieved. There's no way I'm ready to have a baby, but I don't understand why Corrine would do this to me. She's meant to be my friend, Nathan's noticeably quiet, but he gives me a quick smile every time he realises I'm looking at him. I can't work out what he's thinking. After breakfast with the parents, we suggested rather strongly, that they go out for the day together, promising to clean up while they're out and it didn't take long before my dad was dragging my mum out to the car.
While Leanna is sorting things out with her friends, I'm catching up on homework. It feels too normal. With everything that's gone on recently, sitting here trying to figure out maths problems is quite nice. I never ever thought I would say something like that! After that, I lie back on my bed and watch a film, waiting for Leanna to let me know they've gone so I can go over and see her. This is the longest we've been apart since Max took her nearly a month ago and I can feel myself getting twitchy with the urge to check on her. Telling myself it's all fine, I wander downstairs to make a drink and a sandwich. I'm not really hungry, but at least it'll keep me occupied and I take it upstairs to eat while I finish the film. A knock on the door has me jumping out of bed and running downstairs, Corrine's standing there
I feel ridiculous with how nervous I am waiting for Corrine to come over. I haven't spoken to her for three days and she's ignored all my messages. Finally she sent a brief text this morning to say she'd come over this afternoon. Millie and Italia are already here talking about some show they both watched last night. Pretty sure they're trying to distract me, but I feel like my entire focus is downstairs, waiting for her to arrive. There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she tried to make out like she and Nathan had a thing, right? Millie has reassured me repeatedly that it was the briefest of kisses and that Nathan was not involved at all, I think she thinks that I'm doubting him, which I guess I should a bit. I think I should be upset that Corrine kissed him too but I'm more concerned why one of my oldest and closest friends is behaving so oddly.
The news came early last week that Max has been transferred to a psychiatric unit for assessment, apparently he's still under the illusion that he and Leanna have something and I'm the one standing in the way of that. They're not sure who's most at risk from him; Leanna, me or himself.Leanna feels guilty, like she somehow did something to encourage him or send him over the edge. She keeps asking if I think she was too flirtatious with him, regretting the times she was a bit overzealous in her appreciation of something he did. I keep telling her she's like it with everyone, that she tells everyone she loves them, she told my sister that on our last holiday because my sister hid her a piece of the chocolate cake from being devoured by Luke and Shane.It's just her way, it always has been. I'm fairly sure her friends are the same. Italia and Corrine both to
It's been two weeks since Max took me to that cottage. Two weeks of people tiptoeing around me, treating me like I'm made of glass and trying not to upset me.My parents are being super protective and I understand that, they want to know where I am all the time and I'm having to text them every hour just to reassure them I'm ok, even Kim's finding reasons to be around me all the time and Nathan hasn't touched me more than a cuddle since I got back. I know he wants to, but whenever we even get close to starting something, he backs off, asking me if I'm ok and apologising for pushing me too far, too soon.It doesn't matter how often I tell everyone I'm fine, they think I'm just trying to put a brave face on, but I really am fine. I agreed to see a counsellor that the police recommended, but it all feels like a lot of fuss over nothing.
My parents are furious with me, Leanna's parents were furious with me, I'm pretty sure if I hadn't brought Leanna home after nearly three full days of not knowing where the hell she was, I'd have been being grounded, lectured and they'd be thinking up new punishments for me for weeks. All because I went off to rescue Leanna without taking them or even telling them where we were going, not directly anyway and I hadn't stopped long enough to actually tell Millie where we were heading so they could even follow us. They had to wait at home, helplessly, praying that we would all be ok.My only other saving grace is that I at least called the police and let them know where we were heading and what we anticipated on arrival. Jake saw the trouble I was in, so thankfully didn't mention it was him that called them, it hadn't even crossed my mind, I was too focused on getting to Leanna.
Max's arm is around me, tracing circles on my shoulder, his other hand gripping mine tightly and holding it in his lap. I can feel his erection through his trousers and I'm fairly sure he's holding my hand over it on purpose, almost as if to let me know how much he wants me tonight.My heart's hammering wildly in my chest and I have no idea what time it is, or how long the film's been going on for, but it feels like it should be finishing soon and I'm yet to come up with a plan to avoid having sex with him.About halfway through, he nudged my head so it was resting on his shoulder, so I pretended to fall asleep and I'm resting all my hope on the idea that he won't try to wake me tonight. But that plan is flimsy at best."Baby, wake up, the film's finished." He rubs his thumb over my cheek affectionately and I force