I sent a bit of money into Darren’s account and began to write a letter,‘Hey, hope all is going good for you there. I know it can’t be easy, but maybe this is a sign Darren, it’s time to slow down. In a way I do wish you would of met Jeremy, he is so beautiful. He looks so much like you, he is literally perfect. I sent you some pictures in the letter so you could see him. I am sorry for the way things worked out but I can’t do this anymore, our son deserves better.’I left it at that, who even writes letters anymore, and what was I supposed to say to him. I put the letter in the envelope along with some pictures.I took Jeremy out and went to the mail, dropping the letter in there, once I got home I was receiving a call from the jail,“Hello?” “Hey, thank you for sending me money.”“Yeah I thought you weren’t going to call constantly, I wrote you a letter so you don’t need to call constantly ok”“Thank you, I just wanted to try it out make sure it worked, I got a few things from can
The next day, I was waiting for my dad to come visit. He called earlier and asked if I wanted to go spend a few days at his place, I agreed it would be nice to get away for a bit. I knew Darren was locked up and wouldn’t be able to find me, I had everything packed while Jeremy slept. I decided to write another letter to Darren,‘Hey, there’s something I want to ask you, I want an honest answer. Have you ever cheated on me? I keep thinking about it, I want you to know I’ve never cheated on you. You made me feel so shitty about myself when I was pregnant and I’ve never done anything. I really loved you a lot Darren, I always have and I think I always will.If you ever want things to work out we need to talk more and work some things out. We need to be honest with each other and rebuild our trust. My gut tells me you cheated, I have come to terms with the fact you have cheated on me and I know you weren’t in the right state of mind. I have forgiven you for it, but I refused to forgive yo
I spent a few days with my father ignoring all the calls from the jail, I was trying to get my head clear. My last night there, my dad put Jeremy to bed and fell asleep with him. I took Jeremy off of him and put him in his bed and put a blanket over my father. I was wide awake, since I’ve been here my dad has been doing a lot to help me out, he would let me sleep in and even got up for some night feedings.I went and sat on the deck and enjoyed some time alone, my father lived on a dead end street that looked onto the bush. He had a large deck with a couch and table, as a teenager I used to hate living out here, away from everyone but right now this was perfect.I looked over at the yard and I could picture Jeremy running around and playing here, I heard a sound not too far from me. I looked over, it was probably just an animal, there were always animals coming through here.I moved over on the couch so I could lay down and look up at the stars,“Don’t forget to make a wish!” a famil
I sat outside with Steve for a few hours, we talked and laughed. It was getting pretty late and I began to yawn, it was just about time for Jeremy to get up for his first night feeding. I noticed he slept better since we got here, most nights he only woke up once or twice. I think he just felt I was relaxed and enjoyed seeing the new things and place, my dad made sure to keep him busy also. They were always running to the store or going for coffee, he was a proud grandpa.I felt myself begin to dose off as me and Steve were laying our head against the back cushion talking, he had his arm over my legs. When I was just about to fall asleep, I felt him tuck my hair behind my ear and kiss my forehead. I went to open my eyes and he was gone.I sat up and looked around and didn’t see anyone around me, I went into the house and jumped into bed thinking about how relaxing tonight was and how happy I felt. I heard my phone ding with a text message,Steve: I sent myself a text so I would hav
I woke up in the morning to Jeremy crying, I picked him up and gave him a big cuddle. I looked into his brown eyes and it reminded me so much of Darren. I made him a bottle and held him closely as I fed him, I ran my fingers through his little hairs, and thought about what I should do. What would be the best thing for him, Darren was his father but he was sort of a wreck, although when he was sober he was funny and helpful. He was my best friend and I felt so in love with him, we had a special bond. When he wasn’t sober he was a mess, he was abusive and a liar and always playing games. He was dangerous and he scared me so much.I thought about Steve, I didn’t know him much but he was reliable and sweet, but it wasn’t fair to him I was in love with Darren and raising his child.Once Jeremy was asleep, I took my phone out and replied to Steve’s message,Kay: Good morning, sorry I fell asleep on you. I guess I’m not the best company eh? Hope you have a good day and I don’t think we shou
Once I got home, I was missing call after call from the jail, I was terrified to answer. He knew either me or Steve were lying about talking, even though nothing happened I knew he would somehow turn it around. I closed my eyes as I could picture what he would say to me, 'So I take it your fucking my best friend while i'm in jail, real classy'. Once I got everything unpacked and Jeremy to sleep, I checked the mail and I had a new letter from Darren, I sat down and opened it,‘ Hey Kay, thank you for taking the time to write me. Jeremy is so handsome, you have no idea how badly I wish I could hold him right now. This place is hard-core, I’ve already been in a few fights, I’m happy you can’t see me, I’m looking pretty rough. I gave them a good run though, I had borrowed $50 off my cellmate to make some calls to you and to buy stamps to send letters. I also got some money for canteen, my mother is supposed to send me the money so let’s hope she follows through. I’m ready to make everyt
I sent Darren the $40 I had in my bank account, I decided to get diapers on my credit card. I had a bit of room on them, when Darren had maxed them out, it took me months to even have a bit or room, the minimum payments weren’t getting me very far but I couldn’t do anymore.It’s funny how much things change, a few years ago I had two jobs and I had savings, a car, I remember having a bank full of change on top of my dresser, I never touched it. I used to put all my tips in there since my paychecks paid all my bills and went into savings. Now I am counting my loose change trying to figure out what type of meal I can afford to buy, most of the time I didn’t even have enough for a loaf of bread.I knew I shouldn’t be helping Darren out, but I picked up and offered to help him, it was me he was calling trying to make things right. In a way I was to blame for answering, if I didn’t answer he wouldn’t be continuing to call me.The jail called again, I ignored it. I didn’t want to hear his d
I spent the rest of the week trying to avoid Darren and get the house ready for Steve to come visit, I was nervous and excited all at once. I was looking forward to time with him but also excited for someone else to finally meet Jeremy. I received another letter from Darren, I didn’t even bother to open it as I waited for Steve to arrive. Jeremy was already a few months old and he was starting to sleep most of his nights and would stay up got a bit through the day. It was nice to start seeing him more it was getting a bit lonely here alone. Winter was almost here so it was getting a bit too cold to go out and do stuff unless we had a really nice day.It was just past 7 when I heard a knock on the door, I immediately ran to door and opened it excitedly as I saw Steve standing there with a big smile. He pulled me into a big hug and lifted me off the ground. He brought in a duffel bag and he also had a bag of snacks and drinks. He looked around my place a bit and sat down,“Well this is
As we entered the house, I glanced everywhere it was literally perfect, he listened to every think I liked and didn’t like from every house we looked at. I couldn’t stop smiling as I made my way to each room.I felt tears coming down my cheeks as I pulled Ian closely, “Thank you babe.”He hugged me back, “Maybe we will get luckier here trying to make a family, we have 1 less thing to stress about now.”And that’s the first thing we did, we stripped our clothing off and tried our luck as we had hot crazy sex all over the new house. We spent the next few days planning our move and picking colors and every chance we got we would try our luck in the new house. Once we got back home we posted Ian’s house for sale and it sold immediately. I was so anxious to pick the boys up and show them the house, as I got there I was so happy and Steve noticed.“Was it a good few days?” He asked me giving me a curious look.I nodded, “Yes Ian got my dream house built for us. It’s only an hour aw
I felt my heart completely stop as I began to panic “Surgery? What happened? I thought he was okay and would be coming home today.”She seemed to panic a bit too as she tried to shuffle through the papers she was reading quickly as she kept looking up at me,“It looks like this is a different procedure Ma’am, he is in getting a small repair done from a previous injury.”I was taken by surprise as I looked at her, he was getting the surgery done so we could start trying for babies. I couldn’t hide my smile as I thanked her and walked back to his room. I sat patiently as I waited for him to get out. He came in walking a bit funny as I began to laugh,“Are you okay babe?”He gave me a awkward smile, “Yeah I’m just numb and it feels so weird.”I got up and gave him a tender kiss on his lips as he kissed me back, “I hear you went for the procedure.”He nodded, “Don’t get upset though if it doesn’t work Kay, the odds are really slim, promise?”I smiled and nodded, “It’s fine if it
Ian explained to us how when he used to have the odd run ins with Will he was usually just there, never anything to get him for even though he heard rumors he was a assassin there was never any proof. The last time he spoke to Darren , Darren mentioned Will was in there and was trying to bribe him into helping him out of there. Obviously he denied and I guess Darren put a hit on him.Although these were all theories there was no hard evidence of any of this being true although Will would be incarcerated for quite some time after this.We spent the next few days in the hospital as Ian was doing amazing, he was beginning to slowly get around the room and go for small walks around the hallways. I was constantly with him, I was terrified to leave his side. The last day in the hospital Ian had several tests to do before they would release him so I took a bit of time to go check on the boys. I was really excited to see them, it’s been a while since I saw them.I drove over to mine and St
I felt my stomach turn as I looked over at Ian, this means that this was all my fault. I haven’t heard from Darren or anything since I walked out of the visit with him. Jones told me he was going to look into a few things and go visit Darren, I was praying it had nothing to do with him. I didn’t want to be held responsible for Ian being shot.I sat next to Ian all day when I remembered I had to pick the kids up in the morning, I sent Steve a message,Kay: There’s been an emergency , I’m going to see if my father can pick the boys up tomorrow.Steve answered me quickly, Steve: No worried Kay, I’ve missed them. I’ll take this run off. Can I keep them until my next run?I looked over at Ian, I wanted to see my boys I missed them so much but I needed to be here for Ian. I didn’t want to leave his sight.Kay: Yes but I want to see them when I’m done dealing with this, even just for a little bit.Steve: Your always welcome here Kay.I rolled my eyes then I thought about it, I looke
I followed the nurse to the room, I saw Ian’s body laying on the bed. There was no movement and he was extremely pale. I slowly walked over as I glanced at the monitor I was trying to memorize all the numbers to keep an eye on them. I grabbed Ian’s hand when I noticed his ring was gone, I looked at the nurse,“Where’s his ring?”She gave me apologetic look, “I’m sorry ma’am it’s in his possessions, we had to remove it for surgery once he’s awake we can put it back on.”I nodded and gave her a smile, I noticed she was optimistic also. Once she left the room I sat there and starred at him he looked so peaceful, I looked at the monitor several times waiting for something to change. I began to talk to him,“Hey baby, I’m here. Your out of surgery now and you did so good. Besides dying on me several times but you came back so your forgiven. Now I need you to open those beautiful eyes of yours and come back to me. I don’t like spending my honeymoon like this. We are supposed to be plann
I was waiting as I saw several officers begin to pile into the waiting room, they just kept coming and coming, when I noticed Officer Cooper walk in, she sat with some of the other officers I could see she was crying as some of them were trying to console her.Detective Jones came and sat next to me with a coffee as he passed it to me, I gave him a small smile and thanked him. Just then I saw a woman walk in and she looked so much like Ian it made my stomach turn to see her. She ran directly to officer Cooper as I watched, I saw Jones tense up. I heard his sister say, “Cassie, what the fuck is going on? Did I hear right? My brother was getting married when this happened?”The officer glared at me and nodded as she gave her a hug. His sister backed away as she continued, “I guess congratulations Cassie, I always knew you two would work it out. I’m so happy my brother finally settled.”I saw her whisper something towards her and they both glared to me, I felt extremely uncomfortabl
I heard a lot of screaming around us as I looked up everything was in slow motion, the man who was looking at us was being handcuffed and dragged away, I looked at myself and I was covered in blood. I looked back down at Ian he’s eyes were large, he kept trying to sit up. I put my hands on him and pushed him back down, “Relax babe, relax.” I was trying to put pressure on his wound when I felt someone come next to me. There was a man standing there, he began to unbutton Ian’s shirt,“I am a physician at the local hospital ma’am, we need to see where the wound is.”I began to nod, I was in such shock I don’t think I could speak or move or cry. I just kneeled down next to him and held his hand as I starred at him. There was so much going on around us, I could hear screaming and crying from everywhere, I heard a lady shout,“The ambulance is 5 minutes out.”The doctor had his shirt pushed against his chest, he managed to spit out a few words,“I.. I… love.. you.. I’m.. I’m.. sorry
I smiled at him as I nodded. He returned my smile, “You know Kay, if you want a big wedding I’ll be happy to give you one.”I nodded, “What do you want?”He shook his head, “You in any way I can have you.”I laughed as I could feel my cheeks warm up, “How about we plan a party in a few months for family and friends to celebrate our wedding.”He smiled, “That sounds perfect.”Just then we heard our name, “Kay Myles and Ian Smith”I felt my stomach turn as I got up and followed Ian into the court room. I was beginning to shake as we made our way to the room. Ian handed me his ring as I looked into his eyes and I saw complete confidence on his face. I gave him a smile as I felt myself calming down, the minister began to ceremony, this was completely different then a traditional wedding. “Do you take Ian Smith as your lawfully wedded husband?”I smiled at him, “I do.” I took his ring out and slid it on his finger.He gave me a large smile as the minister continued, “Do you take
The next morning I woke up to Ian playing with my hair, our legs were tangled together as we were holding on to each other closely. I was never much of a cuddler but the small amount of sleep I did get felt like the best sleep I’ve ever had. I looked up to his eyes, “Good morning.” I whispered. He kissed me, “Good morning my fiancée.”I gave him a big smile as he looked into me eyes, “Are you still agreeing to marry me?”I smiled as I nodded, “Yeah I am.”He looked to be thinking, “When do you want to get married?”I shrugged, “I’m not sure, I’ve had the big wedding and planned out so many things and that didn’t last more then a few days. Let’s do something different this time.”He smiled, “Hmmm, like maybe elope? Or let’s go buy rings and go to the courthouse today?”I began to laugh, “You would marry me today?”He smiled at me, “Oh baby I would of married you the day my eyes met yours.”I began to laugh, the first time I met Ian was when he was on the team to charge Darr