She only knows a stark and ugly honesty that her brother Nordin has constantly sighed would be her undoing one day.
Nordin hadn't been wrong.
Brendan is silent.
So I am simply yet another burdensome thing to be set aside, out of sight.
Alcina is so tired of being set aside.
Somewhere, in between Brendan looking at her with a gravity underpinning his gaze, as though Alcina were something particularly remarkable, and Brendan, allowing Alcina to cling to him, Alcina had forgotten what it felt like.
"Why am I not permitted to know?" It sounds childish and sullen, even to Alcina's own ears, but she feels so- choked up.
The words come tumbling out without her control. "Would it really be so burdensome if I were allowed to-"
Brendan's brow furrows harshly. "Because you do not need to know."
Alcina physically jerks back as though stung. The bewilderment in Brendan's gaze grows more pronounced, as though he c
When Alcina is ten years old, she learns, for the first time, what it means to bediscarded.It’s a strange concept for a child so young to learn; at the age of ten, most children are preoccupied with learning how to navigate that peculiar space, of beingeverything that matters, the center of the universe, to their parents.Instead, Alcina learned the deafening quietness of the spaces in which she’d been placed, out of sight, out of mind, and the hushed whispers that followed her wherever she went.Like the spare, which wasdefective.At twelve, Alcina loses herself to the fantasy world inside her head. She imagines what her life might have been like if she had been born with a Gift -anyGift - like she’d been supposed to have.At fourteen, she begins the painful and not at all pleasant process of learning to hide herself away, even before anyone asks.This is also the age where she starts t
The following day, Brendan is called into another meeting with Percy and Waylon before they've even had a chance to eat breakfast.As it is, Alcina - pouting blearily and still ridden with sleep - insists on walking out with him, until at least the main hall, before parting ways.Here's another thing about finding all the depths of Alcina's affections returned to her following a lifetime of being chastised and sent away.It'saddicting, intoxicating, and exhilarating like nothing else.Alcina finds herself rapidly growing attached in a way that defies common sense and rationality.Alcina takes the chance to wrap her hands around Brendan's, reveling in the small, amused smile Brendan sends her all the while. Alcina, unable to do anything but smile shyly, sheepishly back.She can't bring herself to stop testing out the boundaries of the space she's permitted to explore. Because each tentative step reveals to her that thereare&
Darla finds Alcina in the orchard by her usual tree.For a moment, Alcina is almost fooled into believing that it isGhost,given that the Lady Darla comes jogging up to Alcina in the form of a pitch-black wolf.Alcina is, once again, startled into pitching backward when the wolf suddenlyshifts into a woman,shrieking with laughter.Alcina pouts.Lady Darla drops into a graceful seat in front of Alcina with that unnatural, animalistic grace she always carries."Sojumpy," she teases, but it's without any malice.Alcina picks at the fabric of her dress, flustered and embarrassed and a little sulky."That's not very polite," she mutters, and her ears turn pink when Lady Darla, apparently, finds it uproariously funny."You're cute," Darla grins, sharklike.Alcina barely suppresses a shiver.And then, Alcina realizes what it must mean that Lady Darla is now out and about rather than shut in t
At that age, when children learn to differentiate and understand various human emotions as displayed in the faces around them, The first emotion Brendan learned to decipher in his childhood was fear.The close second had come as- not quiterevulsion,but. Rather close.His mother, in particular, had never quite learned to overcome her knee-jerk reaction offear, terror horrorat her own son.As surrounded as Brendan had been by legions of people who feared and worshipped his “Gift,” he had nonetheless had an intimate opportunity to learn these same emotions from his own mother’s face.- and, to an extent, his father’s.But a child’s connection to his mother is the most intimate, strange, world-defying thing in the world.Being rejected by his own mother then had brought a crippling sense of alienation that cannot be replicated by the same rejection by his father, as devastating as both
Brendan wakes from his sleep in the same instant way that he has a tendency towards.This means that Alcina doesn't have the time she needs to pull away and pretend shehadn'tbeen hovering over Brendan. That she was peering down at his features with curiously fascinated abandon.Brendan opens his eyes to Alcina's face, floating just inches above his. Alcina's doe eyes are round and glittering in the morning sunlight streaming through the curtains, seeming almost comically wide from the present angle below her nose.Heat floods Alcina's cheeks as she freezes, flustered, mouth parting and no explanation forthcoming save for incomprehensible stutters.Brendan's lips quirk upwards, transforming the blank cold face into something undeniablywarm. Creasing her features with lines that pull a weak smile from Alcina's lips, despite the blush still marring her cheeks."May I help you?" Brendan rumbles, perfectly polite even in th
Darla comes swooping down upon them in the form of a screaming, bloodthirsty eagle.Alcina, startled clutches at Brendan, who tucks her in a fluid movement into his side, throwing up a leaping dark wall from their shadows.The eagle dodges smoothly, shifting mid-air and landing lithely on her feet in front of them.Still curled around a trembling Alcina, Brendan grits his teeth and sends Darla a scathing glare. “You,” he hisses. “Need to be neutered.”Darla preens. She seems to find it a personal victory each time she manages to terrify unwitting humans.“I came to let you know that Percy and I are departing,” she announces, with little preamble.Brendan straightens up, revealing Alcina, who scowls at her.“That was very rude,” she huffs, and Brendan can’t help the small, endeared smile that quirks on his lips.And then, Alcina blinks, having registered Darla’s words.
Alcina spends the following week in what can only be described as a haze.Of rosy cheeks, that giddy euphoria that's unique to the blooming affections for someone new, and Brendan, indulging in all of Alcina's tentative growing bolder by the day explorations of the boundaries. Under Brendan's growing affections, Alcina comes to life. Like a blooming starflower, basking in the glow of the attention she'd never received before, effervescent and vivacious and ruddy-cheeked.In turn, Brendan finds this kind of Alcina utterly fascinating, enchanting like no other thing he's ever known. It makes Brendan want to give, and give, and take.At Alcina's request, Brendan takes her to the night bazaar again. This time, Alcina and Brendan intertwined and were drawn more to each other than the sights and wares of the market. Though Brendan still insists on wearing the hooded cloak - much to Alcina's dismay.But Alcina finds it isn't all bad, as the dark fabric allows Brendan to press her in again
Brendan returns late that night.So late, in fact, that Alcina is practically falling asleep from where she’s curled up in the armchair, waiting. Her head is propped against her hand, facing the door and not at all concentrating on the book in her lap, when the door opens and a cloaked figure steps through.It’s strange to feel welcome excitement at such a foreboding figure - that faceless, hooded, ominous figure.“You are still awake?” is what Brendan dares to say after having wordlessly disappeared for an entire day.Alcina frowns, and it deepens when Brendan seems to find it amusing.“Well, I couldn’t very well go to sleep before knowing that you hadn’t been- been attacked by mercenaries, wherever you’d gone,” Alcina sniffs. With a miffed scowl, she looks away pointedly.Brendan tries (and fails) not to smile. “My apologies,” is all he says before pulling his cloak off.Alcina scowls. Is the lord not going to tell her where he’d been?Alcina doesn’t want to demand that her question