“You’re comparing him to me?” I asked gruffly. I felt confused.“You shouldn’t do...”“I know, but I do!” she cut in.“I try not to, but ever since...”“Nothing happened,” I said, but she shook her head and kept our eyes locked.“It did! And I can’t stop thinking about it, Joe! I can’t stop remembering how it felt and how good you made me feel. I can’t...”I hated myself. I had fucked up again. Majorly. And like usual it was always the ones around me that had to pay the price, because I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t care about anything. Until now. Now I suddenly cared a lot.“All the things you whispered... Did you mean any of it?”Yes, you did. But you can’t tell her that. She has to move on with her life and let everything return to the way it was before. She will have a happy marriage with my son, and they would have kids and she would be the best mother...“Did you mean it?!” she yelled, and I snapped back from a second long daydream where I envisioned her smiling and gorgeous, wit
Jake and Catherine said their yes’s and gave each other their rings, and I rolled my eyes when the pretend minister was shedding more tears than Bree’s sister, who was known to be an ugly crier. She bawled over everything, good or bad, and could sit in someone’s funeral and cry on behalf of her aunt’s uncle’s dead dog that died two years ago, plus all the others she’d been to in funerals between that. It was ridiculous.Then it was time for dinner, and I could finally admire all the hard work Catherine had done to make this day magnificent. She really had a good taste in colors, and the decorations and flowers were not over the top like they often were in other weddings I’d been to, nor were they too few or minimalistic. And both the food and later also the music was the perfect cherry on top.“Ahh. The fuck up fairy has visited us again.”Of course. I recognized that voice immediately, and almost retched as a spontaneous reaction.“Bree. Did someone leave your cage open again?”“Haha
“A real, drenched and tight pussy, wrapped around my cock.”I didn’t really care how she looked, as long as I managed to make her scream. If she annoyed me either visually or verbally, I could just use the gag and the blindfold, or maybe even the mask. That made it easier to pretend it was someone else. Someone in particular. Someone who I spent most of my days trying to forget.Yes, BDSM was a savior. As long as I was the one in charge of the ropes, of course.“Gray? Wanna hang out for a beer?”I heard him chuckle at the other end of the line, and I glared at my phone.“You finally crawled out of hibernation?”“What’s so funny?” I grumbled.“Nothing. Just that I’d never thought you’d last a whole week without mounting someone.”“It’s actually been longer than that.”Then I frowned when didn’t remember exactly when I had sex. I only remembered the kiss.“Since sometimes before the wedding,” I mumbled, and Gray hummed knowingly.“You know, I’m actually impressed. She has a good grip on
“What about you, Joe? Do you have any plans?”I was pulled back to reality by Quentin’s question, and realized that they weren’t talking about work projects anymore.“Hm?”“For Christmas. It’s tomorrow, remember? Are you going anywhere?”“Oh. Yeah, the usual. Chase down witches and tie her to the Christmas tree, then burn it all on the fire and eat marshmallows shaped like tiny snowmen. Nothing much. Oh, and yes, I’m talking about Bree.”Gray chuckled and Q blew air so hard through his pursed lips that he almost whistled. They knew me. They knew I didn’t celebrate Christmas. It was a crap time of year anyway.“You don’t always have to make fun out of it, you know. Christmas is family time, and...”“I know that shit,” I interrupted. I knew Quentin’s usual lecture about how wonderful Christmas could be if only I had someone to celebrate with. And I also knew Gray’s upcoming question:“You can celebrate with us, if you want? Yvette’s parents and her little brother are coming over, but I’
“You’re getting old,” I mumbled to myself, after staring at my own reflection in a window. No decoration or Christmas song seemed to be able to lift my gloomy mood, which seemed to grow stronger the closer I got to my apartment. My empty apartment. The place that had always been my castle of solitude and a much-needed place to hide from the world. Now it was just... Empty.Maybe I should continue going to therapy after all. Only this time as treatment for depression.The stairs had never felt steeper than when I walked up the three floors to my apartment, but I didn’t want to take the elevator because it went too fast for my liking. At least on the days it was working. I wanted to prolong the time it took to get to my door. Or, if I was completely honest, I didn’t really want to go home at all. And I was just about to turn and head out again, when I heard sounds I thought I recognized.Nah, that couldn’t be.“...you idiot! That was all the sugar that was left. You better get your ass
“Am I making you nervous, Bambi?”I didn’t do it on purpose, but my voice was low and husky as if I was afraid someone would hear, even though I knew we were alone.“No,” she stuttered, but I could see it in her eyes and on the vein in her throat. Her heart was racing.“Liar,” I whispered into her ear, when I came close enough.“Why did you come here?”“To... Celebrate Christmas?” she said and swallowed again. I could see the tip of her tongue sweep across her lower lip, and I cursed at all the impure thoughts that were flooding my mind. This was bad. All the hours of therapy suddenly seemed completely worthless now that I was back to balancing on the sword of temptation.“I ask again...”I was now standing right behind her and was literally breathing down her neck, and the proximity made her shudder. She barely dared to move, and her hand was hanging useless over the bowl.“Why did you come, Bambi?”God, how I wanted to lean in and kiss her neck!“Because... I...”Her voice drifted o
We cleaned up, first ourselves and then the mess we’d made, and the more time that went by, the more silent Catherine became. Eventually, I just had to ask.“Do you regret it?”For a long time she didn’t say anything. She just finished the gingerbread men with the expertise of a professional baker, while wearing an undefined expression that was punctuated by a deep frown on her forehead. My heart sank when she nodded.“I’m sorry,” I said, but I wasn’t quite sure if I was. Except for Allison, all I’d ever wanted from women was a quick fuck and then move on to the next. But for some reason I couldn’t picture Catherine in the role of friends with benefits, like Allison. That would be directly mean to her. I mean, when this obviously made her feel horrible, I couldn’t accept being the reason.“I’m sorry,” I said again, and meant it this time. Even though I wanted so much more, I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had. I hated the idea of this falling into the category of one-ni
“Do you think I should leave him, Aaron?” she asked quietly.“No.”“But if I really love him, why would I do such a thing?”I shrugged.“If you truly love each other, you forgive shit like that,” I said plainly, and got her to look at me.“Did you and Bree...?”I snorted out a laugh.“That marriage was a league of its own. But if you’re wondering if I cheated on her, then no, I didn’t. My...my issues... They started later.”“But she cheated on you with that...?”“Amoeba?” I chuckled.“Yeah, and it was kind of hard to forgive something that had been going on behind my back for years. She’d already made up her mind, anyway. Even her parents did. I was just the last one to know.”“Damn,” she whispered. Then she grabbed two gingerbread men and gave one to me.“Bite the head off first, please.”“Excuse me?” I blurted out and tried to keep myself from laughing. I could spot an embarrassed smile lurking on the corners of Martina’s lips while she chewed.“So they die immediately. I don’t want
“Where are you taking me?” she asked, and it was like she was glowing when she spoke.“Wait and see,” I said, staying secretive. It wasn’t much I could arrange on such a short notice. I mean, just this morning I’d gone from taking my son, or whatever I should call him, to the police station, to finding my girlfriend at a totally unexpected place, then finding out that she was pregnant, to the point where I actually started to get accustomed to the fact that the child was mine. That’s quite a leap in one day. But I still managed to get a table at one of the nicer places in the city, and I hoped it was good enough for our first date.Oh, my God. You’re actually nervous, Aaron. You’ve never been nervous about taking out a woman before. With one hand on the wheel and the other resting on Martina’s thigh, with her tender palm on top of mine, I took us to the right place and parked. Then, with the same courtesy, I made her laugh again as I helped her out of the car, simply because I loved
“But, Marty...”“No! You don’t want to talk about what happened at the police station, and I don’t want to talk about that. Are we clear?”He nodded silently and seemed sadder than ever. Good. He deserved to feel bad about it.“Now, let’s get to business and get this over with.”So that’s what we did. After about one and a half hour everything was sorted out in peace, and I finally had the paper in my hand. The divorce was final, and I didn’t regret it one tiny bit. I wished Jake good luck with his life, and especially the part about him coming out as bisexual. I knew he needed that. When his grandfather did what he did to me because of a failed marriage, then I didn’t dare to think about what he’d do to Rocco.Barely five minutes after he’d left, there was another knock on the door. I hadn’t ordered any room service, so I immediately assumed it was Jake who had forgotten something.“I thought you were in a hurry to get to the airp...” I started to say but lost my vocabulary the secon
I read her note over and over again and wandered restlessly around until my phone finally rang.“Bambi! Oh, my God! Are you alright?” I exclaimed the moment I picked up.“Yeah...”“How’s your mom? Is it serious?”I felt confused as to why she was so reluctant to answer. Did I do anything wrong? Is that why she left? Maybe she was jealous of Sarah and couldn’t keep up her façade anymore? But that wasn’t a problem anymore. As soon as she confirmed that her mother was okay, I blurted out:“I’m not the father!”She was silent on the other end, but I could clearly envision her beautiful smile.“The kid, who was pretty adorable by the way, was way too white to be mine. She was blonde with milky-white skin, maybe even lighter than Sarah herself, and so far from my darker Caucasian genes. I don’t even need to read the result of the paternity test. She’s definitely not mine.”I felt the relief flush through me, just like it did at the hospital when I first saw her. I would never forget Allison
I turned to her and noticed that she looked extremely uncomfortable. She kept staring at Allison’s huge belly and scratched her arm.Seriously. How much larger can she get without popping?“Uhm. Wednesday. Are you coming?”“No.”Catherine gave me a glare. She obviously wanted me to go.“Are you sure?” Sarah tried, but I rolled my eyes.“Yep.”Then Catherine pulled me aside and scolded me with her eyes.“That was rude, Aaron!” she whisper-yelled.“She obviously wants you there, and your baby will only be born once. You’ll regret not going later.”Then she noticed that Sarah was about to leave and called out to her.“He’ll be there! What time?”“10:30!”Catherine gave her a thumbs up, and even I could see how relieved Sarah was. Maybe I was a bit too arrogant towards her, but I didn’t really care. Okay, maybe a little bit.“I’m sorry,” I muttered when Catherine didn’t say anything for a while.“I know I’m an ass sometimes, and...”“An ass? Do you know how mean that was?” she exclaimed.
And then we made love again.Yes, we made love. For the first time in my life I learned how that felt, and how different it was from fucking. And it felt so good that I cried a little bit because of that as well. I mean, when I first was at it...Whatever.“Aren’t you tired?” she asked softly in the early morning hours, while stroking a finger along my jaw.“I am,” I admitted truthfully.“Then why aren’t you sleeping?”I was silent for a little while and tried to explain it with words.“Because I’m afraid you’ll be gone when I wake up,” I said quietly.She smiled and kissed my shoulder and let her finger trail in circles on my chest.“I won’t leave, Aaron. Not unless you tell me to.”She yawned and rolled over to her back, but her arm was still wrapped around my waist, and I was hugging hers.“I need to go back to New York to work. But I won’t leave.”Then she placed her palm on my chest where my heart was.“From here.”I covered her hand with mine and squeezed it a bit. Then I brough
Mom’s startled face appeared in the doorway.“What?”“Please don’t ask,” I said weakly. If she started asking questions, I would start crying for sure, and she would worry more than she needed.“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”I smiled.“Yes. And I promise to tell you everything later.”I just hoped the news I brought back home was of the good kind. So I folded my hands, looked up and whispered:“Please, don’t let anything happen to him.”🌼🌼🌼The day went by as usual. I did my job and ignored everybody’s attempts to make a conversation. Even Dom. He seemed more concerned for each day that passed. But he had no reason to worry. I wouldn’t do anything stupid.That's not what you thought last night.I went grocery shopping, but never ate any of it. I didn’t know how to make the things Catherine did. I just remembered what was on the list she wrote and bought that. I didn’t care that the food expired, and I ended up throwing it instead. It was some sort of comfort in having it. I only
Like Anny.“Let’s turn it around for a bit. What if it was someone else? Like, hypothetically.”“What do you mean?” I asked and squinted a bit.“That it wasn’t Sarah who was pregnant, but Martina?”I just stared at him.“I’d still be gone in a heartbeat,” I growled, and tried to ignore the panic that was creeping up my back. What if both of them were pregnant? I didn’t even use a conGraywhen I fucked Martina. How the hell could I be so stupid?You know why, Aaron. She’s different. And it felt so fucking good that you want to do it again.“Man, that’s cold,” Graysaid, and pursed his lips.“Whatever,” I mumbled.“No! It isn’t whatever, Aaron! I swear, sometimes you’re the biggest asshole I know. You love her, but you refuse to admit it, and I know for sure you’d man up enough to be there for her. Hell, when you managed with Bree, you’ll handle that with no problems at all. And Sarah too.”“I don’t even know why we’re having this discussion,” I muttered.“Hey. Cheer up, man. You don’t ha
“HEY! GET BACK HERE!” I yelled after Allison, ripped the door open and ran after her. She’d almost reached the stairs.“ALLISON!”“But I thought...” she started, but I had already grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back to my apartment.“What the hell did you just say?” I said in a tone that sounded both threatening and angry. I wasn’t. I was panicking, and I wanted to scream at her and tell her she was delusional.“I’m pregnant and you’re the father. Obviously.”I snorted and combed my hands through my hair, so roughly it hurt.“Obviously? What the hell is obvious about that? We’ve used protection every single time, and you’re on the pill, dammit!”Then I paused for a moment when a sick thought made me freak out even more.“Unless... Fuck! Did you trick me? Did you save one of the condoms and... Oh, my God. That’s disgusting!”“No! Aaron! How can you even think that?” she protested.“Well, how the hell did you get pregnant, then? This has to be some sort of a sick joke.”I was fum
Eventually I realized that Catherine had somehow gotten dressed while standing behind me. Only, it wasn’t her own clothes. They were mine.Damn! This is not a good time to get horny again, Aaron. But man, she looks fine in your clothes. “You’re just like mom said! You’re a sick bastard and a lowlife!”“Me sick?” I barked back.“You’re the one puking all over the floor!”“I didn’t mean literally, idiot! You’re sick in the head! An old pig! And you’re...”“Rocco! Please stop! You don’t know what you’re saying,” Catherine said, and tried her best to calm him down. She gave him a glass of water and brought a moist cloth so she could wipe his mouth like he was a big baby, and that’s when I realized how wrong their relationship was. She was acting more like a mother to him than Bree ever did. The only difference was that they had sex.“Sit down,” she demanded, but he shoved her away.“I’m not staying here a minute longer!”“SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!” Catherine yelled and made everyone stare