All I know is that Mark is reaching out to me to fix our relationship. I said that we were off the instant I caught him cheating. All he said was that Hilda was already his secret lover even before I came into his life. It’s supposed to be their last sex, their last goodbye, because… according to him, he plans to live his life with me. The idiot! Who would f*ucking believe him?!
I snort. I may, or may not, destroy Hilda, or my ex-boyfriend. I am still thinking about it, especially after that recent misstep at the police station and the hotel afterward. Who, in their right mind, would think that a man wearing really expensive casual clothes is a police officer? He also smells of fancy perfumes! Something that a provincial salary will not be able to cover!
I groan. That’s exactly because I am not in the right mind! Seriously, I should stop acting recklessly. I am too old for this! But that Mrs. Hilda, she gets away from my form of revenge! I still need to find Mr. Ellis. This time, I need to be careful.
“Come, Mrs. Hilda is with her husband,” another co-teacher calls me. “They are arguing about Mr. Ellis’ mistress.”
I raise my brow at that. It should be the other way around, right? Still curious, I go with her. I see the bitch Hilda acting all hurt. She is talking to a… damn… a short, pudgy man with 35 inches waist. His hair is also thinning and gray.
“Is that Mr. Ellis?” I ask.
“Yes, that’s her husband.”
I wince. Instead of trying to have sex with her husband again, I think the more logical choice is to show everyone the picture of bitch-Hilda and asshole-Mark while screwing. Right. That’s a more logical choice. I won’t be able to stand an old man like that, even if it’s for revenge.
“Hilda is saying that a woman came to the police station to meet her husband three days ago.”
That’s me, but looking at the real Mr. Ellis, even if I am so hurt, I doubt I will ever be able to have sex with him. And besides, why are they bringing this fight here?
When Hilda meets my eyes, I understand. The bitch is not afraid at all! She wants to be out of the marriage! And if she accuses me of being her husband’s mistress and I show them the proof, that will give everyone the idea that I come there to take revenge on her. Then, she will tell everyone that she’s tired of her husband’s womanizing! Mark will be in the picture, and if he doesn’t accept her, he will be the bad guy instead.
Hilda glares at me. The fucked-up bitch-woman. She is gambling on Mark’s importance in my life!
“You!” she points at me. “Someone saw you at the police station. What were you doing there?!”
Everyone looks at me. Even Mr. Ellis. His eyes scour my body and a smirk appears on his face. Ugh! The husband and wife are both nasty. Aren’t they a perfect match? And this bitch-stupid-woman, is she expecting me to make a mistake? For something as simple as this?
“I went there to tell your husband that you are cheating on my boyfriend,” I say.
“You didn’t meet my husband. You meet another man and pull him into a hotel. You mistook him for my husband!”
I smirk. This woman is pretty good. Is this the reason why she can go ahead and cheat on her husband with multiple men? I can’t tell her how ugly her husband is because I will look the evil one instead–judging based on appearance. I can’t tell her that she’s lying, too. And I definitely can’t tell her that it didn’t happen.
“I wonder, Teacher Hilda,” I start. “How many lovers do you have on the side other than Teacher Mark?”
The people go quiet. Does she really think I won’t drag asshole-Mark’s name in this?
“How many times have you done this enactment? What does your husband gain from this?”
She didn’t respond. She just glares at me.
“Mark!” I call. He wants my forgiveness, so right now, he will be on my side. “Tell everyone the truth about you cheating on me and being Teacher Hilda’s lover.”
“She has seduced me, but there are a couple more. I am just one of the five lovers that she has.”
People gasps and I groan. Five lovers?! Seriously now? Students murmur to each other. We should not reveal this among high school students, but I had no choice.
“Teacher Hilda!” the principal calls. “To my office!”
“Then who is that man with you on the police stations!? I am not the only salacious person here!” bitch-Hilda insists.
“He is my previous lover. He is the reason I left my job in the city. He is asking for forgiveness. Mark had just hurt me. I’m only human. Even if our relationship ended when I returned here, if he offers comfort, I will take it.”
I see heads and mouths move. Thankfully, I never mentioned the name of the guy from the city. At least, I will have something to use to pass up a lie as truth instead. Besides, I doubt I will still meet one of the directors of Champion Music. This place is not his world.
***********************
“No,” I repeat for the nth time that Mark is asking.
“Cassie, please… What do you need me to do so you will forgive me?”
I look around the small room. My other co-teachers are peering from the door and windows. Ugh, can I have a little privacy, please? But who would blame them? They are the ones who set this up so Mark and I can patch things up.
I sigh. “I am sure it will take time before I can forgive you.”
His face brightens. “Does that mean that we can—”
“It might take years before I can forgive you,” I cut him off.
He holds my hand, and my brows deepen. “Then I will do my best to show that I love you.”
He is about to place a kiss on my cheeks when I push at his face. “What are you doing?!” I ask.
“You said that you can forgive me…” he says, uncertainly.
“Well yes. I said I can forgive you AFTER a few years. Or maybe, decades!”
“And I will do everything to get your forgiveness as soon as possible.”
“Are you serious?” I ask. “Are you expecting me to be in a relationship with you while I am in the process of forgiving you?!”
He seems taken aback. He’s not only an asshole-Mark, but he is also stupid-Mark. Why am I so blind?! How can I delude myself that I love this man?!
Suddenly, he kneels before me. “Did your love fade for me already? Are you going back to your ex?”
“You are also my ex,” I point out. “And besides, I am not even sure if I loved you.”
I gaze at him, and my lips turn up in distaste. After cheating on me with a married woman, he is making a show of the pathetic ex-boyfriend who can’t be forgiven by his ex-girlfriend. Why the heck would I forgive him?! He’s been doing that behind my back. Last sex, he said. From the very start, he’s been cheating on me. I don’t call that love.
“Come on, Cassie. Forgive the pitiful boy!” someone whispers from the door.
I want to scream at them that this man is faking it, but I can’t. I am here to change. I want to be that docile woman that men will love. The kind who will say yes to everything. The kind that men will go gaga over. I am here to live the ‘To obey my husband’ thing. In that way, men will finally choose to wed me instead.
“Mark, please, don’t do this…”
But now, I am finding out that it’s harder than I thought. Now, how will I go through with this by still looking meek and docile?
“But I need you in my life. I want to marry you, Cassie.”
Cheers erupt from outside the door. “We are happy for you!”
What the heck?! What is so good about this man that they all think it’s beneficial for me to stay in a relationship with him?! Are they serious?!
“No, I can’t…” I whisper, even though all I want is to hit his head so he’d go unconscious already.
“Please, Cassie…”
He takes my hand and places a kiss on the back of it. Instead of desire, I shiver in disgust. Strange, isn’t it? Just one event and my desire for him had already vanished like a puff of smoke.
“I am afraid…” I whisper again.
Afraid that my mask will fall off and no one will ever want me in this secluded place. If they heard I was so cruel and I rejected a cheating man after he asks for forgiveness while kneeling… I am sure their nose will turn up. Not to mention that I am no longer a virgin, a no-no for unmarried women in this place.
That’s the only thing I hate about these old-fashioned men. It’s too important to them that they should be their woman’s first man. I’d say bollocks on that. But then again, the way they care, the way they give attention and play at romance, it was so… so positively different from the city men.
“Please!”
I jump when he suddenly hits his forehead on the floor. “I promise you that you will only be the only woman in my life!”
Oh goddamn, this man. What in seven hells is he doing?! Suddenly, I sense tension from the door. Chants become louder. The people outside look like some cult while they stomp their feet and hit the wall.
“Please!” he says again and hits his forehead on the tiled floor again. I can even see blood on it. I groan. I can’t believe that at my age, a mob will still push me to forgive a cheating man. “Cassie, please…”
I feel like I am being forced. What kind of docile woman won’t be affected by this?! And so inwardly, I say a couple of curses, in different languages!
I’ve mentioned thirty curses when, finally, I kneel before him and say, “Okay.”
He looks up at me. There really is blood on his forehead. Ain’t this a form of self-flagellation?
“You will accept me back?” he asks.
I nod, and suddenly, he rams himself on me. His embrace is tight while he whispers promises that I never care to listen. Because right now, I hate myself so much that half of the curses in my head are directed at myself.
Updates will start on Monday (November28)
I massage my temple and Alinn, the sweet teenage girl, asks, “Are you okay, Miss Cassie? Should we take a break? Maybe you can just leave me references that I can study. There’s no need for you to sit with me.” I smile at her. “Well, I’m sure you’ve heard about me and Teacher Mark, but you should focus on the review and stop worrying about your heartbroken teacher.” She makes a small smile. She has misaligned teeth, but her eyes are bright and huge. Her face is circular and small. She is an adorable young woman, not to mention a very smart girl. I sigh as I remember that misstep at the police station. It’s been a month since then. I didn’t dare to call that Liam Chapman again. My plan failed to make that bitch-Hilda feel what she’s done to me—if only her husband is half as good-looking as Liam, then maybe– I shake my head in annoyance. My plan failed completely, and a total stranger has fucked me. F*ucked, even I definitely enjoyed it. I have already burned the calling card, but I
Monday morning starts normally except for a new student who enrolls in the school. It’s not as chaotic as I expected, though. In fact, the little boy is able to immerse himself in the crowd. I think one reason for his quick adjustability is that he is already wearing the school uniform. Some female students can’t help but point at him, though. It’s also understandable. The little boy is a looker. Straight black hair, fair skin, tall and cute. He is also carrying himself well, as if he knows people would like to befriend him. It won’t be long until they label him as the Campus Crush. The boy’s name is Lukas Reeves, a transferee from the city, and the cause of the excitement of the female students. In fact, when I was having my lunch with my co-teachers and I told them that I would like to take a break from all the blind dates they were setting me up for, they agreed without a fuss. Then their conversation shifted to the new transferee. It was only until Friday afternoon that I discove
“Be thankful that the father did not sanction you,” the principal says. “I apologize, Principal Abra. I won’t do it again,” I respond. Next time, I won’t lose control of my emotions. I need a better hold on it. I lay my head low so this would get sorted out soon. “Will I be able to apologize to the parents?” I ask. “There is no need. However, the other teachers and students want you to apologize to the son.” I raise my head at him. “I know,” he says before I can even speak. “I will apologize to the parents, but I don’t think I should apologize to the son. It will appear as if what he did is NOT wrong. It won’t be good for him. Besides, that kid already has an attitude. We can’t contribute to that. Instead, we need to—” The principal raises his arms to stop me. “I understand, Teacher Cassie. Back in my day, his actions are already ground for expulsion. That show of utmost disrespect to a teacher should not be something a teacher should apologize for. However, sometimes, we just ne
I enter the classroom and tell the students that we are going to study something special today. It will be a special class about science in literature. But my students are all too busy chatting with their friends. I try to take their attention but they refuse to acknowledge my presence. This is the first time this happened. “Hmmm,” I mutter as I observe the students. This is definitely orchestrated. Then my eyes catch Lukas. There is an amused expression on his face. I smirk. So this is his revenge, huh? This little monster student of mine. I slam the table, and my students have no choice but to transfer their attention to me. “Do you have anything you’d like to say to me?” I ask them. A look of fake shock appears on their faces. Then there is silence in the room. The students who had been talking before looked away from me. Some of them are looking down. They are probably ashamed to be caught up in this... What shall I call this? Lukas’ stupidity? “Anyone who’d like to speak up?
We arrive at Lukas’ house. It’s brand new. It has two levels and an attic. Some part of the walls are made of thick glass. The house is made of a strange metal that looks almost like mercury. “Have you cleaned lately?” I ask. “Of course not! Why would I clean?” “Ahm, because this is your house,” I say. Lukas pushes open the door. It’s metallic and is not making any sound. It’s different from the house I rented where the door handle is old and worn. “Maids come in every Friday and clean up before my father arrives for the weekend,” he informs. “You mean I won’t be able to talk to your father today?” “Why would you even want to talk to him?” “Because of your most recent offenses,” I say. “I also need to discuss with him about your education.” “Then you will need to ask for a schedule to meet with him. He’s a busy man,” he says. “Your family is in business, right?” “Why do you care?” he asks. He places his arms across his chest and stares me down. “Are you not going to leave,
Lukas is coming in from his other classes more consistently. He sits on the table beside the one that Alinn occupies. He is quieter, but from time to time, I catch him glancing at Alinn. He also learned the meaning of focus. And as a result, his quizzes are improving. As a teacher, I like these changes. “Teacher Cassie, my mother is outside. I will leave now,” Alinn informs. Lukas stands up at the same time that Alinn did. “I will come with—” “Don’t bother,” Alinn snaps. She is still furious at him for forcibly kissing her. Lukas watches her leave. His expression is a mixture of longing, confusion, and guilt. “I thought you said that nerds are uncool?” I ask, without taking my eyes off Alinn’s paper. “She’s not!” he complains. “You think she’s your adorable puppy, right?” “She is.” “Guess what? This sense of belongingness? That’s something she won’t like. First, you don’t own her. Second, you guys are too different. Not to mention that she currently hates you.” “You are the t
It’s the school’s midterm examination day. The students are all stressed out, including Lukas. He told me earlier that it was the first time he was nervous about exams. “I don’t know what to do,” Lukas shares. “This time, I really feel nervous about it.” “Nervous because you might be hated by Alinn forever?” I jest. We are in my classroom. Instead of the bathrooms, where students love to escape during their exams, he is lounging here, probably hoping to take a peek at Alinn. “Shouldn’t you return to the examination room?” I add. “You are right. I should.” Lukas stands up. However, the instant he does, the door bursts open, and Jason appears with a wide grin. “Guess what, Teacher Cassie?!” I look up at him. “What is it, Jason?” “Five of us in the school paper will go to the regionals!” “Oh,” I exclaim. Lukas leans towards me and asks, “What does that mean?” “That means they will write a feature about me in the school paper, and I will also treat them to nice food.” “Ha!” he
When I drop off Alinn at her house, we see Lukas sitting on the couch in the living room and talking to Mrs. Avery. Alinn retreats and is about to return to my car when I hold her arms. “Where are you going, little lady?” I ask, almost gagging at my own laughter. “This is your house.” “Alinn, welcome back!” Mrs. Avery greets. “You have a visitor.” Lukas’ gaze turns toward Alinn, and his lips curl into an embarrassed smile. “Congratulations,” he says. Alinn grimaces. “What are you doing here?!” “Alinn! Learn to treat your guest better.” She turns to her parents and purses her lips. “Sorry,” she apologizes, and Lukas grins. Alinn turns to look at me to ask for help. However, this time, I can’t. Lukas is a guest like me at her house. And so, I pat her shoulders and walk toward her parents. “Teacher Cassie, welcome to our house.” “Good day, Mrs. Avery.” I glance at Mr. Avery and bow my head at him. “I just dropped Alinn off, but I will leave soon.” “Stay for dinner,” Mrs. Avery
********* A FEW YEARS LATER *********** I run my hand over my bulging stomach, savoring the warmth of the afternoon sun as it filters through the living room window. I am close now. The doctor says that any day this week I will give birth to a boy. Nearby, Lukas and Alinn teach Andy how to play a new board game, while Liam hovers close by and places snacks and drinks on the table. “Are you okay? Anything you need?” Liam asks. I grin at him. “I need my husband to sit beside me and hold my hand.” Liam’s face softens, and he nods, quickly making his way over to the couch beside me. As he sits down, he takes my hand in his, his fingers lacing through mine. I lean into him, my head resting on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around me, holding me close and kissing my forehead. This time, I am not afraid. Because now, I feel safe and loved, surrounded by the people who mean the most to me. We will move forward, because we know now, that we are unstoppable together. ********* ANOTHER FEW
I chop vegetables for dinner as I note the instructions Lukas jotted down for our dinner. Liam enters the room, wraps his arms around my waist, and playfully nuzzles my neck. “Guess who?” he whispers, his breath tickling my skin. “Could it be... my handsome husband?” I tease. I turn in his embrace, meeting his lips with a sweet kiss before returning to my task. “Any updates on our lovebirds?” Liam asks, referring to Lukas and Alinn. “Actually, they went on a date yesterday evening,” I respond. “I think things are getting more serious between them.” “Good for them,” Liam says sincerely. He leans against the counter, watching me. “Remember how nervous we were when we first started dating?” “Of course,” I laugh. “We are so nervous that we shared a kiss during that same day and even made love when the evening came.” He laughs. “But look at us now. I want to ravish you every time I lay my eyes on you.” I caress his cheeks. “And we’ll do that once we are done with food and shower,” I
It’s already late in the afternoon when the four of us, Liam, Lukas, Andy and me, start the stroll through the bustling market in Morocco. All the vibrant colors, the tantalizing scents and cacophony of voices are overwhelming. Andy seems to enjoy everything, and she has become very curious. Once, she even asks what the two locals are doing. I explain to her that they are haggling over prices. And every time she sees some exotic wares, she will clap her hands in delight. Something that never fails to put a grin on Lukas’ face. “Mom! Stunning!” Andy exclaims as she points to a beautifully embroidered scarf. Liam chuckles. “It is. You can take what you like, Andy.” Andy squeals and pulls Lukas with her into the shop. On the other hand, Liam takes one scarf and drapes the fabric around my neck. He gazes at my face and whispers, “It really is stunning.” I blush, especially when last night was very hot—too passionate, in fact, that I wasn’t able to get up until it was close to lunch.
The lush garden surrounds an elegant white gazebo. There are cascading floral arrangements that are draped gracefully over the lattices. Not to mention the sweet scent in the warm air. And beneath the canopy of flowers, I stand with Liam. We are gazing into each other’s eyes as our family and friends gather around us. Everyone is dressed at their finest, chattering excitedly amongst themselves while sipping champagne and nibbling on mouth-watering hors d’oeuvres. My mother is wiping away a tear as she looks at us. My father is beaming proudly at her side. With all our relatives around us, this is a far cry from when we had our first wedding. “Ready?” Liam asks beside me, his voice full of tender reassurance. I nod, my eyes shining with happiness and love. “Friends and family,” the officiant begins. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the love and commitment of Liam and Cassie. Today, they choose to renew their vows, solidifying their bond and reaffirming their devotion to on
Suddenly, a waiter approaches us and clears his throat. Liam and I look at him. There is an awkward smile on his face. “Apologies for disturbing you, ma’am, sir, but your food is ready. Should I... ahm, send it here? Or should I pack it up or something?” he asks. Given the time to breathe, I reach for my wineglass and take a slow, deliberate sip. As the rich liquid warms my throat, I resolve to face my emotions head-on. “We are going to continue our date night here,” Liam answers while staring hard at me. The waiter gestures for the others to come closer. They set down plates and bowls in front of the table while Liam fixes himself and sits across me. When the waiters leave, Liam reaches for my hand again. “You see, Cassie. You might have forgotten, but this is the anniversary of when we met at that police station. The first time you kissed me.” “Oh.” “You also think that you were not pretty enough back then. That you are undeserving of love.” I purse my lips again. I glance at
I arrive at the elegant restaurant alone, my heart heavy with the weight of agreeing to Scarlet’s request. Even the soft glow of the candlelight that dances against the polished silverware and crystal glasses on the tables do not improve my mood. The atmosphere is intimate, and it could have been a perfect night with Liam. I take a deep breath, inhaling the rich aroma of seared scallops and garlic butter that fill the air. “Reservation for two under Mr. Chapman?” I ask the hostess who has come to assist me. “Of course,” the hostess replies, leading me to a secluded table by the window. “Your server will be with you shortly.” “Thank you,” I murmur, taking my seat while noting the crisp, white linen napkin and the glasses on the table. I glance around the room. Couples are sharing tender smiles and stealing kisses from each other. The sight only deepens the ache in my chest, reminding me of my earlier decision. “Good evening, ma’am,” a friendly server greets me as he approaches the
I stand in front of a full-length mirror, my reflection framed by the delicate curve of the gilded edges. I watch the way the smooth silk of my midnight blue dress clings to my body, accentuating my curves and cascading until my knees. Then I adjust the thin straps over my shoulders. The anticipation of my romantic date with Liam is making my heart race. There is a knock on the door and I say, “Come in,” my voice sounding happier. The soft click of heels makes my hand pause on the fabric of my dress. I turn my attention to the guest and see Scarlet looking me up and down. I purse my lips at her beauty. She is definitely a sight in yet another red dress–a contrast to her creamy skin. Scarlet’s eyes take in every inch of me, appraising me like a predator sizing up its prey. “Hmmm,” she mutters. “You are starting to look the part of being Liam Chapman’s wife.” “I am his wife,” I tell her. I am just not sure until when. “It’s a pity, really,” she says, her voice dripping with sacchar
Last night, I was dreaming about Lukas and Liam’s laughter again and I woke up with a mix of love and fear. I sigh. This is just fine. I know that my decision to distance myself is for the best. “Momma, Lukas?” Andy asks, still stuttering. “Tomorrow, dear, okay? Your brother will come here to play with you.” She nods and takes hold of a doll. Lukas has gone to the beach with Scarlet. As for Liam, he decided to finish his work in the office. “For today, it’s just you and me...” I whisper. “And probably, in the future too.” I settle in the chair and my gaze lingers on the family photos adorning the walls. Most of it are pictures of Lukas and Andy, but there is also Alinn, Liam, and me. I really do miss doing activities with them. When my eyes fill with tears, I blink them away. I chose this. I should not be sad about this. I have to be stronger than this. More unfeeling than this. I can walk away, just like how I escaped from all the men and drama around me before. They said it bef
“Are you okay, love?” Liam asks. He is on top of me, still panting from the pleasure we just shared. I smile at him, attempting to hide the turmoil raging within me–anxiety that I only feel every time we stop drowning in our pleasure. “I am fine,” I lie. Liam’s piercing eyes search mine, but instead of pressing further, he brushes a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. “I am not such a skilled conversationalist, but please know that I will listen to you, any time you want to talk about something.” I beam at him and I hook my arms around his neck. “I always see you as a great communicator, though.” “Maybe I communicate my love for you in bed? Where you will feel it the most?” he asks, playful now. “I think we should wear our clothes and pause from communicating in bed. I need to check up on Andy.” He presses a kiss on my neck. “Lukas and the nanny are here. Stay a little more in my arms.” I giggle, but then I push him away from me. Sitting up and retrieving my clothes, my min