Chapter 5: Leave her alone

Ross

It's been five years, and I've also been consumed by sadness. Actually, eight years, since my family died together. The whole thing is still clear in my memory, and the worst thing I ever went through was to witness how they died in front of me.

After three years of that, I still haven't recovered from the mourning when the next who died was my mate. They can die not in front of me but the fate I have is really torture. Seeing her fell off the cliff, that was the most painful of all. I endured it for five years.

No family, and no mate and all I have is my pack. But can I take the pack if I don't have Luna? I am not saying that the pack is strong when there is Luna but Nalani... I love her, and I just realized this thing too late.

What I did to her is unforgivable. I just realized that day, she was all I had left, but I still let her go and die. If the loss of my family hurts me a lot, I suffered even more  when she's gone.

She did nothing wrong but she paid for everything that happened. Honestly, we all paid for nothing, she, her family and mine too. But now, I don't know what kind of torture this is. Honestly, I was scared, I was scared to see her again. I expected her to take revenge on me but I was wrong. I don't understand, why doesn't she remember me?

From head to toe, nothing has changed about her. Her hair style is still the same. Dirty blonde long hair with a bit of curly, adorable face, blue eyes with long eyelashes. The way she dresses is still the same, knee length dress but her scent has changed. She smells like human and she doesn't have a wolf.

Her smile returned that I had taken from her before. She can looked directly to me now, unlike before, as she take a look at my eyes, she immediately quivered to death.  

But she was still scared, she scared of me as stranger. I saw her twice right here in Liam's pack. I mentally asked what she was doing here and I wanted to ask Liam if he knew that she was here, but I didn't expect to actually see her here in the packhouse like, what's going on?

Liam knew Nalani was here but he didn't even bother to tell me. I stopped in front of her with her fist clenched in the hem of her dress, and looked at me scared, I asked, "What are you doing here, Nalani?"

The way she looked at me, she really didn't know who I was. She was also confused but she answered my question, "I-I am Alpha Liam's personal dietatian."

Draw a little pain in my heart. She also didn't seem to know that Liam and I were cousins. I gulped down a little and didn't show the pain I was feeling. I asked, "What do you mean personal dietitian? You're working as a slave for my cousin?"

Her brows knitted and asked, "Slave?" But she looked down instead of waiting my answer. Her lips parted and whispered to herself but I still heard, "So he's Alpha Liam's cousin."

I squinted my eyes and confirmed the question in her mind, "Yes I am Liam's cousin."

Her eyes flickered at me as if I were really a stranger, and it sent pain to Darth, my wolf. She jerked her thumb over her shoulder and told me that she couldn't even look straight into my eyes, "The... the dinner is ready. Excuse me."

When she stepped to pass by me I quickly grabbed her arm. Liam needs to explain this to me. He knows what I went through but he really hid the truth about my mate from me. He let me believe for five years that she was dead.

I don't know how long she's been working here at the packhouse but hopefully, it won't be more than a year because Liam is too much for that. But Nalani yelped, "What are you doing?!" She tried to remove my hand from her arm but she really only had human strength.

It was no different when she didn't have a wolf and keep fighting me before. I only saw her with a wolf for the first and last time when she fell off the cliff covered in blood. That's why I know she's strong, and she has a wolf, a big white wolf, but now she's nothing. I want to know what happened.

Even Darth, he doesn't want to let her go anymore as if this is the last chance and he won't let to lose his mate again. We have the same goal now, unlike before, we often argued because of my hatred.

"Let me go!" 

I keep acting deaf by her yells, even though she was pouring her strength to get away from my grip. She was like this before, struggling in the grip of my warriors, while crying in fear begging them not to hurt her. I don't want to let that happened to her again, but now the situation is different. I want to hug her to stay with me forever. Knowing that she's a live, I felt relief somehow.

"Alpha! Help!"

Because she called Liam, I pulled her towards me and asked looking into her frantic eyes, "How long have you been working here?"

She huffed and stopped struggling as a sign of defeat. She replied with a glare, "Three years! You can ask without touching me. I will answer you, but please, stop hurting me!"

The word 'stop hurting me' is a big slap in my face. My fingers jolted causing her arm escaped from my grip. It paled because of my squeeze, but instead of saying sorry, I asked again, "Three years, as dietatian, how did that happen?"

I think I told her a stupid question and as I expected she explained literally in a questioning manner, "I think... I applied?"

I nodded and did not pay attention to my embarrassment in front of her. I just really want to understand something. And I was going to ask but Travis' voice prevailed, "Let her go." Darth growls under the surface, seeing Travis face how disgusted it is towards me. And he really went on, "She is Liam's personal dietatian and his will is she cannot be harmed."

I appreciate that Liam's protection for her, but Travis spicy words really hit me. Since Nalani came from suffering and physical torture, the word 'harm' had an effect on me. I straightened up and Nalani quietly left in front of me.

Her leaving like she didn't really care about me was painful to accept but there was nothing I could do at the moment. I don't know what's really going on. When Nalani left, Travis walked over to me and Liam was right out the door.

I faced Travis, "So she's here—"

But he snapped at me immediately, "Like I said, you shouldn't hurt her."

I retorted, "I had no intention of hurting her. Why didn't you tell me this? Can you explain?"

Travis scoffs, "Does that even need to be explained? That's all because we want her to stay safe from you, and be given the freedom to live in peace."

I clenched my fist and even though Darth wanted to act to hurt Travis, I still stopped him. This is not the right place to fight. As my blood boiled towards him, Liam approached and spoke, "The food is waiting inside, would you mind if we talk about this matter while eating?"

I did not protest, since I agreed with his suggestion, and I also wanted to talk to them in depth about Nalani. Travis didn't protest either and turned his back in front of me. He entered the packhouse first and I looked at Liam, he just gave me a cock of his head inside.

In front of the dining table, while eating, I asked again starting from my why's and Liam gave an explanation in general, "Nalani doesn't remember anything and we don't know how it happened. Our warriors saw her in the woods with blood on her clothes, walking dumbfounded and weak. The only thing left in her memory was her name. The rest she forgot everything, especially you and her family. She doesn't even know us."

I hardly know how to swallow the food I eat. I took a deep breath to clear the heavy feeling in my heart while listening to Liam went on, "I really don't know what you did, but from what I saw with Nalani, she was tormented." Both of his arms rested on the table with his eyes focused on me as if he was doubting what I really did. Travis just kept eating. "I don't know who did it to her, since that time you said, she ran away with her father who was being hunted by you. That's why, I decided to keepbthis secret from you, and helped you in other ways to recover."

I don't know if I have the right to be angry, but honestly I'm upset and I just kept quiet when Travis spoke with an obvious hint of grudge, "I think you're done with your revenge. If you lose your family, the same hers. Maybe it's time for you let her to be happy and free. She's been wearing her smile for five years without you, don't do anything to make her lose it again. Have mercy, Ross. She's too tired, don't try to make her remember you. Just, leave her alone, she's part of us now."

But she's my mate, I want her back to me. I want to give the love that I never did before. What about my wolf? What he needs right now is none other than but only Nalani. He's dying in pain, he also wants to recover. But I think what they said is just right for me. I've gone too far, and what's happening to me now is what I deserve.

Yeah, maybe Travis is right, I have to leave Nalani alone.