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ELIZABETH.I remove my eyes from hers, and I furrow my brows when I see the content inside the box. "It’s pant–" I gasp once I step close enough to get the entire look of the package.Oh my God. Is that a…I lift my head, my jaw dropped as I meet my mom’s eyes again, and the horrifying look on her face tells me everything I need to know; it’s a damn vibrator. Why did she order a vibrator?"I– what?" I stammer, at a loss for what to say, and she closes the box as she turns to me. She cocks out her hip and rests a hand on it, a questioning look on her face as she stares at me. "I didn’t order this. Why does it have my name on it?""I don’t know. I– didn’t. I’m not sure." My eyes go to the box again, and I wet my lips. I don’t remember ordering that. I’ve never ordered something like that, so why’s it here? Maybe Gabriel ordered it for her? I internally groan at the thought of my mom wearing that and Gabriel using the… Please, stop."You might want to explain in coherent words, young lady
ELIZABETH.Everything I’ve been trying to prevent is happening in front of me right now, and I’ve never felt more vulnerable. I hear every pump of my blood to my heart as my body trembles at where I stand, my eyes fixed on Mom’s angry ones. I’ve never seen them that angry, and it feels as though she’s about to explode– do more than just stare at me with the picture in her hand.The picture. My eyes go to the hand she has up, and I squint at it to take a better look; it’s a different image from the ones that were sent to me. In this one, I’m pressed against a bookshelf, and my head is thrown back to it, the pleasure I felt at that moment unmistakable on my face. My legs are wrapped around James’ waist, and he has one hand underneath my school skirt while both of mine are on his chest. I remember this moment, and it’s just recently. We thought everyone was busy, and the library was quiet, so we snuck one out. But it was a make-out. Nothing more than that. Not that it saves me from the wr
ELIZABETH.I didn’t see James till I went back to bed last night. I waited for almost an hour before I was taken by sleep.And this morning, he’s still not here.I shut his door with a frustrated sigh; the sound making a noisy slam that echoes down the empty hallway.I’m starting to get more than worried. This had never happened before, so why would he suddenly disappear from the house without telling me? Where could he possibly be?I turn away after another glance at his closed door and make my way toward the stairs. Each step down makes my heart thump in my chest, dread filling me at the possible ways my morning could go, and with James’ absence, I hate it even more.I arrive at the end of the staircase and pull my lips into my mouth before I find the courage to drag my feet forward, jumping when a body appears out of nowhere and I almost crash into the side. I lift my gaze and swallow when I meet Mom’s eyes. She’s dressed for work, her lips pressed into a thin line, and the look in
ELIZABETH. “I didn’t think you’d want to stay behind.” James laughs as I sit at his desk. He shifts his chair back a bit, the metal scraping against the tile and echoing across the room, the noise louder than usual because of how empty the entire school is. It ended about twenty minutes ago, and I convinced James to stay for a while. While he’s currently studying, it isn’t exactly what I have in mind. James opens his legs and keeps my feet pressed between them. I smile as I drop my hands on his shoulders, lowering my head because of the leveled distance. He drops his hands on my thighs, and they slip underneath my skirt as his pupils dilate. "What do you want?" He whispers, his eyes roaming mine, and I teasingly pull my lips between my teeth, basking in the reaction he gives. "Elizabeth." He groans, and my lips stretch, but I’m quick to hide it. "What?" He raises his neck. "We’re alone, and something tells me you didn’t ask to stay behind just to study." "Maybe I don’t want to go
ELIZABETH.James stammers, which only further raises my suspicion. "What? Um— no. What did you hear?""Nothing," I respond, eyes narrowed in his direction. "But you were speaking lowly. Makes me wonder who it is."His lips curl into a smile, and he slides his phone into his back pocket as he closes the distance between us with long strides. His hands snake around my waist once I’m within arm’s length, and he presses me to his chest, the earlier hesitance and uneasiness in his stance fading as he gazes down at me. "It’s not a girl, if that’s what you’re worried about.""I didn’t say it’s a girl." I roll my eyes in response, and James chuckles before he lowers his head to close his lips over mine. I wrap my hands around his forearms, moaning into his mouth, but he’s quick to pull away. "It’s one of the guys. He was telling me something private.""I see." I hum, eyes trailing down his chest. The answer he offers doesn’t approximate his earlier reaction, but deciding he has no reason to l
ELIZABETH. I stare in bewilderment, my gaze flickering between James and Zara. She has a small smile on, her brown eyes glimmering with cordiality as she steps further inside the room. She looks way prettier than the picture of her James showed me. Her brown hair extends over her shoulders and she has a small face. I can see where James got his unblemished skin from because this woman has absolutely no pores. "Hi! Elizabeth, right?" I’m stunned when my name leaves her mouth and I meet Mom’s eyes before I look back at her and nod swiftly. "Yeah. Um, hello." She crosses over the room and rounds the couch until she’s standing feet away. "I’m Zara. James' mom. I think he mentioned a thing or two about you." She explains as her smile widens, revealing her perfect set of white teeth. I gaze back at James who’s still standing awkwardly by the door and he refuses to meet my eyes, though I have a feeling he can feel them piercing through him. "It’s nice to meet you, Zara," I respond politel
ELIZABETH. "Oh." I mouth and lick my lips, tearing my gaze away from hers so she doesn’t see the disappointment and a second gloom in my eyes. When I return my eyes to hers, I say, "That’s what you want?" "Yeah." She nods as she removes her hands from my shoulder. "I don’t think I can stay here any longer. I moved us here in the first place so we can start a new life, a happy one hopefully, but now a sad memory has been made. I’d be reminded of that every second I spend here and I don’t want to, so we should return home. To ma." She puts on a smile as she takes my left hand and covers her palm over it. "And your dad." "Right." I swallow as I struggle to find the right words. Obviously, I know she’s hurt and I feel terrible for her too, but I didn’t think she’d want to move states. And it’d be a lie to say I don’t feel sad about that. Or that my heart doesn’t break at the thought of not seeing James again. I still haven’t heard his side of the story and the willingness of wanting to
JAMES.I watch her walk away from me, her frame slowly disappearing into the dark while I remain glued to where I stand, unable to go after her because I have a feeling there’s no stopping her."Fuck." I fold my mouth and run a hand through my hair as her words echo in my head. I hate that she wasn’t entirely wrong. When Mom called me two weeks ago and said she wanted to see Dad, I was surprised. I was even more shocked when I found out she wanted to come back. And that Dad was willing to accept her. The first thought I had was to tell Elizabeth. I swear I wanted to, but I just… didn’t. I don’t know why I couldn’t. I managed to convince myself that this was the best thing. My dad divorcing her mom was exactly what we needed. Her mom was never going to accept our relationship, and we were never going to let go of each other. Their separation is our best shot, so I thought it was a good thing. But maybe Elizabeth was right. I wasn’t just happy about the divorce because it means I could b
ELIZABETH.—TWO MONTHS LATER.Miley is saying something about organizing a party for my birthday, but I’m not paying attention as my gaze runs along the words on my screen, my left palm pressed to my cheek. As if she’s right here with me and knows I’m not listening, her voice booms through the speaker, "Elizabeth? You’re not listening to me, are you?"I gaze at the phone on the desk, and the screen reads for fifteen minutes. I think I stopped paying attention around five minutes, but I still lie and say, "Of course I am.""What were my last words?""You were saying…" I trail off and there’s silence on her side. "… something about Darcy and a party.""Elizabeth!" I can imagine the frown on her face as she calls my name and I chuckle, finally grabbing the phone as I lean back in my chair. "Sorry, I’m just busy with work. I really don’t want a party, Mile.""Are you leaving for James?"I purse my lips, a small wave of sadness hitting me and my voice is small when I answer, "No. He’s busy,
ELIZABETH.—FOUR YEARS LATER.I’m nervous.My harsh breathing fills the tiny space of the car and I rub my palms together before I look out the window with my heart racing in my chest.Everything goes past me in a blur. Houses, shops and restaurants. And the closer the car gets me to him, the faster my heart pounds; so loud that I can no longer hear the words the driver is uttering to me.I don’t know why I’m this nervous.Actually, I do. I haven’t seen him in almost a year. It shouldn’t be any big deal since we speak occasionally over the phone; video calls, voice calls, texts. We tried to remain close in every way possible and although I had tried hard to convince myself those were more than enough; I knew they couldn’t compare to seeing him with my naked eyes. Like I’m about to do very soon.I’ve been counting down the days until I’ll stand before James and now that it’s come, I can’t help the nervousness that spikes through me. Along with a tiny fear. I don’t want it to be there, b
Hello loves,First, I’d love to thank you all for being so patient with me on this book. Despite the long gap between the updates and my disappearance, you still waited patiently for James and Elizabeth’s story and no words can describe how thankful I am to have you all. I won’t lie; I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to find the excitement I felt when I first started this book again because I was away from the characters for so long. But I did. I found the spark I had from the beginning and I enjoyed the time I spent writing this book. Thank you all so much for pushing me and forcing me out—though some comments were harsh, I still appreciate them all haha.Now to my updating schedule.It’s been a mess, hasn’t it? I know there’s been too much gap between my updates and you might not believe me when I say this, but I hate missing frequent/daily updates just as much as y’all do. It makes me less disciplined and incompetent when I don’t write as much as I plan to and I especially hate disappoin
ELIZABETH.~A MONTH LATER.We stayed in San Francisco for a week and only left after Lily’s discharge. When we got back to Los Angeles, I could still tell everything that happened back there took a toll on James. Although he tried to hide it, tried to smile more; it was evident everything he learned from his parents had taken something from him and I was scared for a long time he’d never get that back.But he did… or at least he’s trying.His eyes are no longer as dull as they seemed when we first arrived, and I can see the spark in them. Each of the smiles he throws at me now is genuine and he spends less time trying to hide the pain he feels. He’s being himself again—he’s being my James, and he’s back to me.I haven’t felt as at ease as I did six nights ago when he woke me up in the middle of the night and just laid his head on my chest as he cried in my arms. He poured out his pain to me one last time and since then, he can speak about his mom without looking like it’s the last thin
ELIZABETH.James' brows crease at Gabriel’s words, and I squeeze my hand in his as my heart pounds in my chest."What? What are you talking about?" James asks and Gabriel shakes his head, a sad look in his eyes. "I’m sorry, son. She left.""What do you mean, she left?" James' voice raises higher and Gabriel swallows, "I was just—she was here when I arrived. She was asleep, and I just went to the reception to settle the bills and make some inquiries, but when I got back; she was gone. And your sister was crying. She said Zara left and said to not look for her."I feel my heart breaks in my chest for both of them and James' grip on my hand gets increasingly tighter till it starts to hurt but I don’t pull away. He remains silent and just stares at the man before us—who looks just as shaken by the revelation."I’m so sorry, I didn’t—""No." James voices out now and his tight grip starts to loosen. I hear him exhale before he says, "It’s good she left, and like you said; she doesn’t want t
JAMES."I thought you left," Elizabeth sighs in my arms, her grip around me growing tighter and I smile as I finally drop a hand on her back, pressing her closer to me. "And where would I go, love?"She pulls back by a bit so she can look into my eyes and her lips push out as she speaks. "I don’t know. I just thought—""Thought I’d run from you?" I finish for her and when she doesn’t respond, I lean down to take her lips. It’s meant to be just a soft reassuring peck, but Elizabeth moves her hands to my neck, deepening the kiss as her fingers play with the hair at the back of my head and I move a hand to her cheek, tilting her head back so I can plunge my tongue inside her mouth.She cups my neck with a palm, her fingers digging into the skin as she moans into the kiss and I move my free hand to the small of her back; I rest it on her ass as my tongue clashes against hers, heat spreading across my skin at the taste and feel of her.When I feel my pants tightening at the front, I start t
ELIZABETH.He doesn’t stop sobbing as he clings onto me as though he’s afraid he’d drift away if he doesn’t and with each loud cry that leaves his mouth, a piece of my heart breaks for him.I can feel the anguishing pain with each sound that leaves him, and his body shakes in my embrace. I let out a soft exhale as tears roll down my cheeks while I continue to slide a hand down his back, whispering soft promises I’ll do anything to keep. "You’ll be fine, baby. You’re alright. I’m here. I’m here with you."We stay in the position for what feels like long and after a while, his sobs quiet down, but he doesn’t move away from me, his breath hot on my neck and I swallow through the tightness of my throat. "I’m always here with you."The sound of our breathing echoes through the corners of the room and James starts to pull back. He removes his arms from around me but I keep the one hand on the back of his neck as I lift my gaze to stare at him. His eyes are red as he holds my gaze, and I giv
ELIZABETH.I run after him with my heart breaking for him, but he’s just too fast. He dashes through corners quickly before I can even catch up to him, but I don’t stop chasing after him, either.I know this must be too much for him, but I just want to be there for him. I want him to know someone hurts for him. But he doesn’t wait for me to do either of those things.When I rush out the entrance door and stop only a few steps away with my heart pounding in my chest and my eyes scanning the corners, I don’t see him.I don’t see James.The car is here, but he isn’t. He left. He ran without me.I push a hand through my hair before taking out my phone from the back pocket of the pants I have on—his pants. My pulse is racing as I press the phone to my ear after dialing his number, and it rings. It rings and my purse vibrates, reminding me that he left his phone with me on our way here.God, James. Please. Please, just be alright. Don’t do anything stupid and be fucking alright.Please.Drea
JAMES.Everything else shatters around me as I stare at her with disbelief coursing through my veins, wanting more than anything for her to take back those words—to tell me this is some kind of sick joke.She doesn’t.Instead, her tears fall even more as she proceeds to say, "I’m so sorry, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to—" a sob breaks out, and she shuts her eyes tightly. When she opens them again, they’re so red that it’s hard to act like she doesn’t know what she’s speaking about. She does. Oh God, she does."What are you saying, Zara?" Dad’s quiet voice comes, no doubt he’s as frightened as I am. "James is my son. He’s always been. He’s been from his birth, so why are you—""He isn’t." She insists, and I gulp down the bitterness that’s quickly rising in my throat. My hand shakes in hers and I quickly let go, fisting my hands in the fabric of my pants to try to stop the trembling. "I cheated. Years back. I was married to you, but I was in love with someone else.""Zara…""I’m sorry. I kno