Chapter 7

Over the next month, Renee and Jesse made their way across the country. Jesse had changed his mind about Canada as he said it would be easier to stay under the radar if a new citizenship didn’t pop up somewhere. They traveled from Florida to Washington state, stopping every night to get a room and sleep. Since they were backtracking now, Jesse made sure to keep away from North Carolina as best as possible. 

What they didn’t know was that Kevin was looking for Renee. He had grown tired of waiting for the police to do anything. They had told him that they didn’t have any new leads about what had happened to Renee. They hadn’t found any evidence of Jesse killing her in his apartment. His car was gone so they weren’t sure about what he had done. They eventually did find his car in Georgia. The police had issued the report to the Georgia police and they had searched but no one had seen Renee. 

Kevin wasn’t going to give up hope. He wouldn’t stop looking for her until he either found Jesse or found Renee, dead or alive. It was his fault that she was even in this mess. He quit his job and took all of his savings and started to travel from state to state. He would work odd jobs just to make a living and eat, but he never stopped. Once he had searched a city, he moved on to another until he had worked the entire state. 

When they finally got to Washington state, Jesse found a house in the country that he put a down payment on. He began to look for a job. He put locks on the doors so when he left, he could lock her in. She had no phone service or internet. He had hooked up the cable so she could watch Tv when he wasn’t there. He hadn’t been kind to her since the first time he had tried and she had rejected him.

He had kept his promise and not put his hands on her again but he still took her whenever he wanted. He no longer tied her up. She had been allowed to walk around freely with his ever-watchful eye on her. She hadn’t bothered to try to start a conversation with him as she didn’t want to get to know him. Every night, he would hold her as he slept. She wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to or it was a way to keep her from running.

When she was three or four months along, she asked him about finding a doctor for her. He looked them up on the phone and checked into them with her. At least he was allowing her to decide which one she wanted. When the appointment was set, she talked him out of going into the room with her as she was uncomfortable with being examined while he watched. To make him think she was complacent and wouldn’t try to get help from the doctor, she came on to him. 

Jesse was taken by surprise but he did agree to it. He rather liked the fact that she had come to him. Perhaps he could begin again with trying to be nice. He let her undress him and then he made her look him over. She didn’t have a look of disgust on her face when she looked at him. Maybe it was a good sign.

“Do you like what you see?” Jesse asked.

Renee swallowed hard. She didn’t want to mess this up. She needed  to know for sure if this was Kevin’s baby or not. And she needed to know if she needed to hide it from Jesse. If she was not looking at it from the standpoint of he was her rapist, but rather from a normal woman’s view, then yes, he was attractive. 

“You’re a handsome man,” Renee responded. 

“That’s not what I asked you.”

Renee swallowed her pride and looked at Jesse again. She had to tell him what he wanted to hear. She looked him over again. She closed her eyes and tried to think of him as some random guy she’d just met. When she opened her eyes, she smiled at him.

“Yes, I like what I see. You are very attractive,” Renee managed to whisper as she walked up to him.

Jesse smiled and wrapped her in his arms. He kissed her softly. Renee responded and kissed him back. He ran his fingers through her hair and over her back. Renee let her imagination take over. She pictured Kevin running his fingers through her hair. He used to love playing with it. She imagined Jesse’s hands were Kevin’s hands. Kevin had known her likes and dislikes. The more she imagined Kevin, the more she was able to do with Jesse.

Jesse laid her on the bed after undressing her. He began to kiss down her neck and make his way to her breasts. He stopped and began to pay special attention to her breasts as his hand roamed over her stomach. She felt him lay his hand on her stomach and her heart skipped a beat, thinking he was finally going to hit her and cause her to lose the baby. Jesse felt the flutter in her heartbeat and thought it was because of what he was doing. 

Renee had to make her mind go blank to stop herself from pushing Jesse’s hand away. She waited to see what he was going to do. When Jesse began to kiss his way down to her stomach, she relaxed. She closed her eyes and began to imagine Kevin again. His long hair used to trail across her body. Jesse’s hair was too short for that so she decided to compensate by reaching out and pushing her fingers through his hair. She found it was soft to the touch. 

Jesse was spurred on by her actions and continued to kiss his way down until he found her sweet spot. He slowly ran his hand down her leg and back up until he was caressing in between her thighs. His tongue was making slow circles over her. Renee continued to imagine Kevin doing everything that Jesse was doing. She gasped as he pushed his fingers inside of her. 

She was still hurting from all the times he had forced himself on her. She bit her lip to keep from crying out from the pain but she couldn’t stop her tears. She must have made a noise because Jesse stopped and moved back up. He ran his hand across her cheek.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

Renee slowly opened her eyes and Jesse said, “Why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Renee whispered, scared he was going to beat on her or force himself on her again.

Jesse frowned and moved his hand back down her body. He felt her body tense as his hand caressed in between her thighs. She squeezed her eyes shut as he slipped his fingers back inside of her. If it was hurting this bad now, she could only imagine what it was going to be like in a few minutes. Would she ever get used to the pain?

“This is hurting you, isn’t it?” 

“Yes,” Renee blurted out. 

Jesse withdrew his hand and moved back down her body. He settled in between her thighs and began to use his mouth on her. Renee tried to picture Kevin again but it wasn’t working. She couldn’t get enjoyment. She feared that he would grow angry with her, but instead, he continued what he was doing.

After a while, the pain subsided. Renee found it easier to picture her and Kevin being intimate. She pictured Kevin’s eyes and the way he would look at her. She remembered the feel of his touch on her skin. She remembered how she felt when they were together. Her body started to react to what Jesse was doing. 

She bit her lip as she almost called out Kevin’s name as pleasure washed over her. Jesse moved back up and she felt him against her. Her body tensed as she waited for the pain to come when he took her. But, he didn’t take her. Renee opened her eyes and looked at him. He was watching her. Her hands were shaking as she put them on his chest and pushed him off of her and onto his back. 

Jesse felt anger well up in him until she slowly moved over him. She began to kiss his neck and chest. What he didn’t realize was her eyes were still closed. She kissed her way down his body until she was able to place her mouth around him. She took care of his problem in hopes that he wouldn’t try to sleep with her. He had hurt her for months and her body needed time to heal. 

When she was finished, she slowly crawled back up the bed and laid down on the bed. By this point, she had her eyes open and she saw Jesse watching her. He moved his arm like he was inviting her to come over. She slowly moved close to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She wasn’t sure how to react to what he was doing now. She put her arm over his stomach and pressed her body against his side as his arm went around her shoulders and his hand laid on her back. 

Jesse put his hand over hers. He felt the baby bump she had pressed into his side. It made him smile. If she was hurting when he tried to take her, she wouldn’t be able to see the doctor. She had to heal up. And, if he let her heal and then tried to take her, perhaps she would react differently to him, just like she had today.