Crash and Burn

"Am I even here right now or is this just a dream" I think silently to myself

I did not expect the day to end up like this, believe me, I had many expectations on how the day would end, like us ending the day with us going to a romantic dinner, going to see a movie, and making out in the back of the theatre like teenagers, maybe we would just make dinner and cuddle on our couch with a mug of hot chocolate in hand or us even ending the day in our bedroom making love.

The last scenario was my favorite because, after four years, I felt that I was finally ready to give up that part of myself. I feel like a failure because our relationship was nearly ruined by my fear and insecurities that always stopped me from going further which led to problems.

Every time I forced myself to think that I was ready I would always take the initiative, would kiss him, he has never really asked if I was ready when I did that, maybe he thought I felt ready when I kissed him, or maybe he was always just blinded by lust but when I pull away before we can go any further the cycle of how we fight starts.

We first argue, then he would storm out saying he could always find someone else to satisfy him, he would slam the front door so loud that I would always feel the strong vibrations pass through me making me shiver, I always collapse on the floor crying my eyes out till the next day, then David will walk back in the house and beg for forgiveness saying things like he was a fool, he should be more patient and will wait for me even if it was going to be for eternity; I would always forgive him and hate myself for not being able to give myself up to the love of my life.

How foolish I was back then, thinking that I was the one who was always in the wrong, that I should be more intimate, that I was a failure for not being able to give up my virginity, but now I know he is the fool.

Well, I am the fool too, the fool that thought she would end the night feeling like the luckiest girl in the world, spending the night next to the love of life, but that wasn't the case.

Instead of being the luckiest am the stupidest, and instead of being in bed with my boyfriend, I AM IN A FUCKING JAIL CELL.

"What are you in for, girlie, "a tattooed girl with an intimidating stare says with a creepy smile.

"I d..didn't do anything wrong "I stammer out the words with much difficulty.

"That's what everyone says, darling"

"So if you want to sleep easy tonight, better tell me the truth, "she says calmly, which scares me more; I can tell she isn't lying.

"Well, I am in here because I accidentally lit my bed on fire with my ex-boyfriend's lover on it, "I say, which to be honest, makes me sound like a psycho ex.

"Didn't think you had the pussy to do something like that, maximum respect" she says with a laugh, which made me feel a bit proud even though I didn't purposely do it.

I tell her my whole story since there was nothing else to do, and then she tells me how she got into prison, how she beat up a guy that tried to rape her, and since he was wealthy, bribed the police to arrest her instead of him.

"He sounds like a douche, "I say and place my hand on her shoulder. I felt that even though she looked mean, she was probably the most loyal friend a girl could ask for.

"He got what he deserved a broken arm and collarbone as well busted balls, he ain't knocking anyone up again," she says with a laugh and I laugh nervously thankful that I am on her good side

"Hope when you get out of here, you make your douche pay too," she says seriously, and I nod even though I know I am too weak to do anything.

"Hey, you're free to go. "A police officer comes out of nowhere and opens the door and pulls me with her.

"Wait, what's your name? "I say to my cellmate.

"Sierra, flinch, "she says, waving me goodbye with a wicked smile. I know deep down that I will see her again, and I can't wait till then.

"Why am I free "I ask the police officer as she pulls me somewhere.

"The girl you assaulted and her boyfriend dropped the charges they had on you, "she says, giving me a disgusted look; my heart aches at her words.

David reported me and made me out to be the psycho. How could he do that to me, isn't cheating enough?

My thoughts are paused as I come face to face with my tormentors, Anastasia smiles at me while David's face looks a little concerned.

"Babe did we have to let her off today, she could have at least slept here for the night "

"It would teach her a lesson for trying to kill me just because she lost you, "she says, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear, the implications clear.

I look at them and feel empty, I don't have the energy to care. I am a few moments from collapsing from emotional overload, but I won't give them the satisfaction of seeing me suffer even though I am already in a pitiful state.

"That's enough, Ana; she has been through enough today, so give her a break," he says to her sternly, then turns to me.

"I am sorry that this happened; I know it was an accident. You shouldn't have been locked up, "David says, and I can't help but scoff.

"If you knew it was an accident, why did you file the complaint against me? I'm sure I wouldn't have been arrested if you guys didn't call the cops, "I say, glaring at him while he scratches his neck, looking away awkwardly.

"Alexia, I think you should go; we have all had a long day; it's better we get some rest, "he says calmly as if he is talking to a child.

"What do you mean to go home? Our house was on fire, remember? "I say, crossing my arms.

"They said the damage wasn't that bad due to the fireproof walls, so me and Ana are going back home," he says each word slowly, looking everywhere except at me.

"So where will I go "I asked, my voice breaking. We made that house a home, my home where I thought my children would grow up but that would need to happen now.

"Well, I booked you a hotel, or if you want, you can call your best friend Mia, "he said, handing me my car keys.

"I also packed your clothes and other stuff; you can come back to the house if I missed something you want."I can't bear to look at him as he says those words, so I look at our surroundings, which is a huge mistake.

Most of the people there are staring at us, some did it discreetly while the rest are blatantly watching the drama unfold, and I'll be damned if I am going to let them stare at me like a circus freak any longer.

"Thanks for my keys, today was not what I expected but I guess there is a bright side to it, at least I got to see that you are a grade-A asshole for cheating on me for four years, and with your fake sister no less "

"Well at least I get to remove your disgusting self from my life "

"Feel free to enjoy the cupcakes I brought for your birthday; thank fuck I didn't buy you the watch you were eyeing a few weeks ago, "I say, watching his face turn pale at my words, but I don't feel happy or good. I just feel sad.

"Goodbye, David, and happy birthday, "I say and walk out before he can utter another word.

I rush to find where my car is parked and get into it. The tears flow freely now that I am in the quietness of my car.

I take a deep breath before hitting the gas and driving without turning back; soon, I hear the soft taps of the rain on my car and find it difficult to see the road.

I make a turn and hit something with so much force that I am jerked forward; If it wasn't for my seatbelt, I would probably be screwed.

"Are you fucking crazy "a deep voice shouts before banging on my window so hard I jerk at the noise? It was still pouring outside, but the guy didn't seem to care.

I reluctantly get out of the car getting soaked as soon as I step out and scream.

"I AM CRAZY, STUPID, FOOLISH, EVERY SINGLE UGLY NAME YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT I AM THAT PERSON"

"BECAUSE A NORMAL PERSON CAN HAVE THIS MUCH SUFFERING, THEY CAN'T DO SOMETHING SO STUPID TIME AND TIME AGAIN"

"JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND GET BACK INTO YOUR CAR AND RUN ME OVER ALRIGHT OKAY" I shout before turning to him, his eyes are the only thing that I can pay attention to, the most beautiful combination of blue and green I have ever seen, so lovely that it took my breath away till his words bring it back.

"If you're looking for a way to die, don't get me involved, I am sure you can find a bridge nearby to jump off from or something. Just move your car so I can get going," he says, pointing at the car behind him that collided with mine.

"So that was what I hit, huh, "I say, laughing. I don't know why but I lean towards and look straight at him.

"This is by far the best situation I have found myself in, and I'd rather be here than back there, so don't take me back. "The words slur in my mouth as the world begins to tilt, and I feel myself falling.

"I can't believe my luck, I ran into a crazy person, "the man says angrily as he holds me and stops me from falling.

"You might not feel lucky, but I do, "I say with a smile; he suddenly lifts me but is too weak to fight or ask where we are going.

He adjusted his grip on me, his voice low and detached. "You're heavy."

I tried to respond, but my voice was barely a whisper. He didn't seem to care, his expression unchanging. But then he added, "I'll take you to the hospital."

As I felt myself slipping away, he said, "Wake up when we get there. I don't want to deal with you any longer than I have to. You owe me, little phoenix."

A faint smile spread across my lips as I whispered, "Okay..." And then everything went dark.