Marcus Our weekend was subdued; on Saturday and Sunday we had a late breakfast, and Simon went to his office until late. I went to bed early, pleading with a headache one night and fatigue the next, but the truth was I was still reeling from what David had said. I was trying to figure out what everything he had said meant, and it was eating at me. I knew he was douche and that he was probably lying, but I somehow knew there was some truth to some of his rantings; I just needed to figure out which. My insecurities had come back full force, and I struggled to put that genie back in the box. Why would a man like Simon want someone as broken as me? He must be doing it out of pity, right? I wasn't as educated as David or handsome, and that was his ex! How long would it take before he booted me out too? Simon tried to ask me what was wrong, but how could I explain what was going on in my head? How could I tell him that the darkness I try to keep at bay is hovering closer than ever?
Simon I was in a good mood today. Finally, the dark mood that had engulfed Marcus seems to have lifted and it was such a relief to know that he was getting better. I really hope he agrees to see a therapist so I can finally breath. Although it was a packed day at the office, I did my job with a smile and counting down to the time I will get home. Today we were going to order a pizza and start our Marvel marathon cannot wait to introduce the avengers to him. Yes, I know it is silly to get so excited about super hero movies but it is something I have loved since I was a child. It is a love I shared with my childhood friend and my first boyfriend Sami. The thought of Sami makes me sad and I try to shake the feeling away. I work through lunch because I really need to finish all the paper work before I can go home to Marcus. When I finally shut down the computer its late afternoon and I really need to rush if I am to make it before rush hour. I stop by David’s office to let him know I had
Marcus I dont know how I got into the motel. But here I am checking in; it’s the kind of motel that one can pay by the hour, and I pay for three nights, not because I have plans after but because I don’t know how long the money I have will last or how long I will be able to hold on. It’s becoming more and more difficult to breathe, and I am almost engulfed by the darkness. At this moment, I am so grateful that Simon had paid me weekly for the cleaning and that he had been more generous than a typical employer because I would have ended up sleeping under the bridge, although, to be honest, the motel was only marginally better. I take the bulky key from the bored receptionist, head up the four flights of stairs, and fumble with the key at the door before entering the tiny room. The bed is a twin bed, and it looks slightly comfortable; the covers are threadbare. There is a small desk and chair beside the bed and a door leading to a small bathroom and sho
Simon Like all bad news, the call came at midnight, it had been three days of worrying and looking and making numerous calls to a cop friend, but I still wasn't prepared. I had driven around town, even returning to that spot on that bridge with my heart in my mouth, bracing for the worst. However, it had been empty, and I still couldn't reconcile feeling relief and disappointment at not finding him there. So when the call came, I was ready for anything, or so I thought. My cop friend Paul called to tell me they had found Marcus, and it wasn't looking good. He had warned me that it was touch and go, but I didn't even have time to let that sink in as I rushed to St Maria hospital at the edge of Montre groove. I had not been prepared for the sight of him with tubes all over him or the way he looked so pale and small. I felt a lump in my throat as I got nearer; his hands were strapped to the bed, a precaution I was assured by the hovering nurse for all patients who were at risk of self
Marcus Everything hurt. What was happening to me? my mind feels foggy, and I can’t seem to be able to focus on anything but the pain. I try to open my eyes, but it hurts too much. "Hey Marcus can you hear me? Welcome back. You had us worried there for a minute," a cheerful and too loud A voice tells me. Where was I? I try to remember where I was, but I keep drawing a blank. I give up trying to open my eyes or remember and surrender to the darkness. The next time I wake up, someone is standing right next to my face, fiddling with some beeping machine. I want to ask them to move, but I can't seem to be able to form words; my eyes don't hurt as much as before, but I still can't seem to focus. I try to form words, but I feel so tired and dazed. The person standing there says something to me, but it sounds so far away, and I can't concentrate. He moves away, and another person joins him, his presence fills me, and I try so hard to think why; a nagging feeling tells me I should recogni
Simon I am as nervous as I am excited, today I get to see Marcus, finally! When I showed up at the hospital yesterday, I had been expecting the usual disappointment, so when the nurse greeted me with a broad smile, I had been confused. She was as excited as I had been when she finally told me I could see him today. I know for her, there was some relief from having to watch me show up every day and go home disappointed for three straight weeks. I changed for the third time; I had left the office early so I could come and get ready for him. I wasn’t sure if I should wear my suit since he loved me in it or dress casually since it was, you know, a hospital. Ultimately, I chose a button-down white shirt paired with black slacks and a sports jacket. I passed by the flower shop and got him a colorful bouquet of tulips and a box of chocolate before heading over to the familiar route. I was earlier than I had been directed to arrive, but I was ok pacing and waiting. When the nurse finally
Marcus It was a relief to finally know the big secret that had nearly torn us apart. After Simon’s story, I feel lighter, and his confession of love still has me giddy. I really must be the luckiest guy in the world to have such a perfect man love me. I can’t wait to go home and start the rest of my life with my boyfriend. My very first boyfriend. Today I have my last therapy session with Doctor Moustache.“How are you feeling about going home?” he asks, pen poised to write whatever it is he is always writing.“I am excited! I feel like I have a chance to start afresh, you know? Simon finally told me he loves me….” I blush at that.“Good for you! Though I could have told you. He has been here for you since day one, and I am happy you two are finally getting your happy ending.” He poses for a second “What plans do you have for a job or career? Remember what we discussed? You need interests other than your boyfriend so you can be fulfilled on your own, so you don’t depend on others to
Simon It feels so good to have Marcus home with me; going to bed with him, waking up next to him, touching him, cuddling with him, and having meals with him is just bliss. I know I will wear him down on the job issue. I really want him to feel independent while he finds his footing, and I think paying him to keep the house is the best thing for him. I smile when I remember his cheeky daddy comment earlier, and it makes me think maybe there is a kink there that needs exploring because that word has my dick very interested. I am still smiling when Gwen, my assistant, comes in.“Hi boss, there is someone to see you..” she says hesitantly“Then send them in…wait, why didn’t you send them in instead of announcing them? Are we hosting the queen?” I asked, widening my eyes comically for effect.She rolls her eyes at me, but I can see she is being serious and slightly worried.“what is it Gwen,” I ask wearily now.“David is here and he insist he must see you. I tried to get him to leave but