Emma
I focused on the road ahead of me as I followed Roux in silence through the streets, trying not to attract unnecessary attention. We found the others waiting for us among some trees outside the town. I shook my arm to get rid of the tightness before heading towards the group.
" Where do you think you're going? " He grabbed me again by the arm, squeezing it again.
" This is hurting! " I exclaimed in Romani¹, attracting everyone's attention.
" What were you talking about with that man? " He growled.
" I wasn't talking at all " I tried to get free again " Let me go!
" What do you want Emma? " He measured me " You always refuse all your father's marriage arrangements, and you always seem to reject our culture.
" What does that mean?
" It means that your father will hear about it! " He pulled me close to his body, lowering his voice " You know how we feel about marriages with them.
The way Roux pronounced "them" irritated me.
" I don't know if you remember, but my father married one of "them" " I retorted.
" And it was the biggest mistake he ever made.
I concentrated my strength on my free hand and hit him square in the face, making him let go of me.
" Emma " Lash approached me as I massaged the place where he'd squeezed, I was sure I'd get a mark for it " I think we'd better go back now.
" I won't say anything this time Roux " I turned away " But if you ever treat me like that again, you can be sure that my father will know.
Lash escorted me to the camp, while Roux followed us sulkily. As soon as we arrived, I locked myself in my vardo in search of some peace. Sometimes I hated having to go into towns, the camp was always so quiet.
A knock on the door caught my attention, I got out of bed and opened it to find my father standing there, watching me.
" Am I going to have to go out again? " I asked apprehensively.
" Let's walk, my child " he nodded.
" I'm tired " I tried to escape.
" That wasn't an invitation, Emma." His gaze became hard.
I took a deep breath and stepped out of the vardo, walking down the steps towards him.
" "You should put your shoes on," he suggested. "Your mother would have a nervous breakdown seeing you like that.
" Let's go, Dad," I ordered.
We walked in silence until we were far from the campsite. I found all this interaction strange. I loved my father, but he never allowed me to get close.
" Where's your tambourine? " He asked, breaking the silence.
" I lost it in town " I explained, bending down to pick a flower.
" You lost it?
" What did he tell you? " I stood up, facing my father.
My father was a tall man, his hair was long and he was in his fifties, fourteen years older than my mother. I liked to think that they were happy, even though they had never officially married.
" Roux told me that you gave a gift to a man in town " My father sat down in the shade of a tree " shall we talk about it?
" I did no such thing " I sat down next to him.
" "You must tell me about this man, Emma.
" I couldn't fulfill your wish " I sighed " I don't know anything about the man. I bumped into him while I was running away and knocked over the tambourine. Roux doesn't trust me!
" And you can blame him? " My father asked, shocking me.
" What did you say? " I blinked a few times.
" You've never mixed with our people, Emma " he sighed, watching the sky " The girls in the gang are always together, and you're locked up in Vardo all the time.
" Dad.
" I know that sometimes our lives are confusing, but you've never really embraced it " he went on " Young women your age are all engaged, and you run away from any commitment we get for you.
" I want to marry for love!
" Love is overrated " He continued " You acting like this, meeting men in the city, only increases our people's mistrust of you, my daughter.
" You met my mother in a town " I pointed out " You married for love.
" And that has brought me to a point where my own daughter rejects her origins. Do you think I don't realize how much your mother rejects our customs?
" That's not true.
" And why did she teach you so many things? " He interrupted me " You can read and write.
" And that's always been useful.
" But it's not our custom " he stared at me " Don't you understand?
" No " I stammered " I don't think I do. I don't understand why we're rejected, and I don't understand why I should hate them.
" You're my daughter, Emma. But I always get the impression that you'll leave us at the slightest opportunity " he stood up and offered me his hand to help me.
" What do you expect me to do to prove my loyalty? " "Marry me?
" With one of our own " he confirmed " We've got good boys here, you can be happy.
" "I won't do that," I denied. "I respect your wishes, Father. But I can't commit myself to such a wish.
" This is what marriage for love has brought me " he stared at me coldly " my own daughter defies my orders.
I felt his eyes water at his words and I couldn't bear the disappointed look on his face. I ran to the safety of my vardo, leaving him behind. Despite his words, I never thought about leaving. I just felt the need to feel part of somewhere, and I didn't feel that way with the girls in the gang.
Despite feeling exhausted by the escape earlier, I couldn't sleep. My mind drifted from the argument with my father to that pair of brown eyes that had analyzed me so deftly earlier. I kept remembering his every reaction to our brief encounter. Will I ever meet him?
I don't think so, my mother told me that everything was fine for our departure in the morning. He will only remain in my memory.
I took advantage of the sunlight to bathe in a small lake nearby, and joined everyone around the campfire during the evening. After dinner, my father entertained us with music, singing a song in his native language. I allowed the melody to envelop me, letting my body move fluidly with the rhythm, and to my surprise, my mother decided to join in.
The look my father gave us indicated how proud he was of his family, despite everything. As soon as the song ended, he got up and came over to where we were, wrapping us in a hug, kissing my forehead before kissing my mother.
This is the last pleasant memory I have of this part of my story.
I was asleep, we were leaving as soon as it was light, so I had to be well rested. Around sunrise, a noise woke me up. I sat up in bed and looked around, startled.
" What was that? " I whispered as I heard a muffled scream coming from outside.
I was about to leave Vardo when the door burst open and my mother ran in, slamming it shut.
" What's going on? " I widened my eyes when she picked up a cloth bag and proceeded to throw some clothes and jewelry into it.
" They've found us " Elinor whispered " They've killed your father, we have to get away.
" What? " I widened my eyes.
" Keep your voice down " she whispered " Your Vardo is the most hidden, I don't think they'll find him.
" Mom, what's going on? " Tears started streaming down my face as I noticed the look of pure fear on my mother's face.
" The townspeople " She wiped a tear from her eye " They found us a few minutes ago, started raiding the vardos and killing everyone.
" There's one more here " We were silenced by a voice from outside.
My mother told me to keep quiet, slipping to the floor. I followed her example by sitting on the side of the bed facing her. She struggled to cry quietly, staring at the door in terror.
" Do like the others and let's go back," another voice instructed.
We're going to die. We really are going to die.
My mother and I waited for a few minutes for the door to open, bringing us our sentence.
" They must have left " she sighed with relief " Let's go.
" What if they're outside? " I didn't move.
" Emma, we have to get out of here. " Elinor took my hand, pulling me towards the door, just giving me time to put on my sandals before running.
But before we could get out, the place was engulfed in flames.
They're going to burn us alive!
" Mom! " I screamed as the heat enveloped me. Half of my life had become a living hell, the other half would only be a matter of time.
" The window " she coughed, forcing me onto the bed " We can get out through the window.
The whole ceiling was engulfed in flames as I opened the window. I turned around, seeing my mother returning to the door to get the bag she had sorted earlier.
" What are you doing? Leave this.
" We need it " she threw the bag towards me " Now get out.
I jumped anyway, feeling the heat rise in my right arm as the sleeve of my blouse caught fire. I managed to rip the burning sleeve off, burning my hand in the process. Where's my mother?
I turned to the vardo, only to find it completely engulfed in flames.
" Mom? " I called out in desperation " Mom, where are you?”
" Emma " her voice was muffled by a cough " Run…”
" Have you lost your mind? " I cried " I'm not leaving here without you!”
" Please, run away " she begged.
" I heard something over here " A male voice caught my attention.
I cast one last glance at the burning Vardo, my eyes sweeping across our camp, it was a real inferno. She won't leave, she has no chance. A few footsteps approached, bringing me out of my daze. I ran between the trees with tears constantly blinding my eyes.
I had to run for my life.
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¹ gypsy language
HenryMy trip to Melrose lasted longer than the initial ten days. I was advising my friend George Thorpe on a farm he was thinking of buying. It was going to be a quick trip, but he insisted on seeing the town, delaying our return to Bibury, a small village in the county of Gloucestershire¹.I was looking in the window of a hat store, wondering if I should get my sister a present, when a commotion took over the town. I watched as a series of gypsies ran past me, starting a performance in the main square. I didn't care, it wasn't something that appealed to me. But George was enthralled by everything that was going on. I returned my attention to the store window when I felt a small body collide with mine.I stopped the young woman from falling, holding her by the arm. She was a magnificent creature, her well-drawn eyes showing an almost wild glint, her long black hair loose under a burgundy bandana and her tanned skin standing out, making all the others look pale and dull. After a bri
HenryWe couldn't get anything else out of Emma, she remained silent throughout the journey to Preston. We attracted a bit of attention when we arrived at the small inn where we would be spending the night.Emma seemed out of place as I guided her to a private room where we could talk in private. " Are you hungry? " I asked without getting an answer. Emma remained standing in the same spot, observing the place with a certain discomfort." We're going to spend the night here, Ms. Ferguson " I insisted " Why don't you sit down?She took a few uncertain steps, sitting down in a chair that was further away than I wanted. I went over to where she was, taking the seat next to her." I hope your quarters are to your liking," I said, trying to make conversation." I've never been in a room before " she looked into my eyes." Where did you sleep? " I took advantage of the little space she had given me." In my vardo " she smiled." What's a Vardo? " I was interested." A kind of carriage, I
EmmaI was just finishing getting ready after breakfast. The sun had already risen, and we would soon be leaving for Bibury, so I didn't want to delay my benefactors. They were extremely attentive to me, and their manners were so kind. I think gentlemen are all like that.They must consider me a savage."Why does this have to be so difficult? "I groaned as I tried to follow Mr. Thorpe's advice and fix my hair.The fact that my hand was burnt didn't help either, it was stinging badly, in some places it had blistered, in others it was raw flesh.I stared at the burn for a few moments, thinking about everything that had happened. In a matter of hours everything had been taken away from me, my home, my family, my whole life. The only thing I have left are a few changes of clothes and jewelry that I can't wear. A knock on the door brought me out of my reverie. I opened it, finding the maid who had helped me yesterday, I had never even dreamed of having a maid before. She was a few years o
Emma "Ohhh... I'll go... "Mr. Thorpe looked disconcerted "I'll find a place for your bag."Sorry "I turned away immediately when I heard the door close.Don't forget that you're no longer with your family, Emma."It's all right "he looked away."That was completely inappropriate "I continued "Forgive me."Shall we get a suitcase? "He suggested after a few moments in silence."Yes "I bit my lip, trying to wipe my face as best I could. "We can go."Please "He offered me a tissue.I took it, wiping away my tears, feeling a little disconcerted. None of this was supposed to happen. We were supposed to be heading for the next town, all my family, all together. But here I am, heading for a life that I can't even imagine."Come on "he led me to the door "let's get you some things.I followed him in silence, holding his handkerchief. I'd have to give it back at some point. But if only I could keep it.We left the inn and walked side by side towards the town. His handkerchief was still in my
HenryI felt bewildered after Emma's short walk around the city. That young woman had affected me more in two days than any of the young women in Bibury or Bath in my entire life.I went back to my room trying to put her out of my mind, but that moment alone only served to make me replay those moments. She seemed rather embarrassed when she found out that I was going to present her with a hat, and as we walked through the city, I constantly admired her as she watched everything with fascination. Emma was convinced that she didn't attract any attention, but I noticed every glance at her, her unique and beautiful features set her apart from other young English women. No, she would never go unnoticed.I opened my suitcase, locating the small tambourine she had dropped the day we met. I should give it back.I put it back, deciding to get out of there to get rid of those thoughts. My only intention is to help her. I need to keep that in mind. I joined George in the living room, absent-mi
HenryIn the end, we decided that Emma had been left in the care of an old, sick lady after losing her family in a fire. She begged us to bring her with us because she wouldn't be able to support her for so long. If they asked for any other details, we could make them up on the spot.We tried to teach Emma everything we could, answering all her questions, and towards the end of the afternoon, we went for another walk around the city. George once again offered his arm as a support for the young woman. The gesture bothered me a little, but I tried to push those feelings aside and concentrate on Emma's way of walking.She had a unique way about her, which helped her stand out from the others. Every step she took was graceful and fluid, it was as if she was all the time in the middle of one of her dance performances, where every movement was calculated to attract everyone's attention.I shouldn't let my attention get caught up in so many details. George is right, I'd better get away and a
Emma I felt a little reluctant to follow Ms. Crawford. What gave me some comfort was knowing that Henry would be back the next day. But I couldn't help feeling out of place in that house. Why does a single family need so much space? My whole old gang could live comfortably in this place. "How do you like it here? "Georgiana Crawford asked as we walked up the stairs. "It's a beautiful place "I commented "but I don't know it well enough to form an opinion. "I'll introduce you to everything "she opened a door "But for now, you can settle in here. Your quarters. "Really? "I looked around. My room at the inn was spacious and simple, but I didn't even know where to begin to describe this place. I walked over to an armchair next to the bed and put my suitcase there. "Perhaps you'd like to change," the young lady suggested. "It's still early, I can introduce you to the house and gardens until dinner time. I felt my face flush at the suggestion. Change your clothes? How can I, if this
EmmaWe soon reached the room, and Georgie helped me to lie down, then left with the promise that he would be back soon.Well, if Mr. Downey came with Henry, he would certainly take care of everything. He wouldn't let anything go wrong. That thought calmed me down a little.After lunch, Mrs. Crawford came with the dressmaker. She assured me that I would have new dresses soon, until then I could manage with the ones they had made for me.I eagerly awaited Henry's arrival, even though I knew he would probably come with the reverend, but when we finished dinner and he didn't show up, I began to understand that he wasn't coming. I kept the family company in the living room after dinner. Mr. Crawford asked Georgie to play the piano while I pretended to read a book. "Ms. Ferguson "Hill surprised me by approaching me with a note on a tray "This arrived for you.I accepted it, feeling everyone's eyes on me as I unfolded it."Ms. FergusonI'm sorry I didn't keep my promise to visit you toda
Henry I was trying to concentrate on the letter I was answering while I waited for Mr. Martin, one of the local farmers who had arranged a meeting with me, but my mind kept returning to Emma. I should have insisted on accompanying her, even if I had to take Christopher and Kitty with us.I gave up what I was doing and started pacing back and forth in my living room. Why am I so bothered by this? Emma's right, Dyrham Park isn't far away, she must be with Georgiana by now.Perhaps I should go there, just to make sure everything is all right. Mr. Martin arrived for our meeting, forcing me to take my mind off Emma and devote my attention to the man in front of me. I tried my best to listen to his plans for expanding his farm, but I couldn't concentrate.As soon as he leaves here, I'll go to Dyrham Park, I won't let you go back to Casterly Park alone. I don't understand what's going on, but I feel something is wrong.A knock on the door echoed through the room, before Christopher opened
EmmaI took a few shaky steps back.He was dead, what's going on?" Emma " He held my arms, assessing me " It's really you!" No... You're dead! " I exclaimed, trying to get free." I'm not dead. I managed to escape " he gasped " I wasn't the only one." What? " I repeated, blinking dazedly " Others survived?" What happened to you? " “We've been following you since Melrose. Lash saw you get into a carriage, but it took us a while to find out where you ended up.I couldn't answer. I continued to stare at him in confusion and disbelief. Was Lash alive too? How many survived?" Why are you dressed like that? " He grimaced." I live here now " I recovered my voice " Two gentlemen helped me escape and sheltered me." Sheltered you? " He growled " Are you living among the Gadjikanes¹?" I'm alive,” I retorted." “Good, then you can come with me,” he replied in a dangerous tone.Go away? Go back to being a gypsy, he meant? Could I do that? And Henry, would I leave him behind?" I can't " I
EmmaWe left the house, walking through the gardens until we reached a secluded spot at the back of the property. When she saw that we were indeed alone, she sat down on a bench, urging me to do the same.I waited for her to say something, feeling a little anxious." Ms. Ferguson, we need..." I'm sorry " I interrupted her." “Wait for me to say what I want before you apologize, Emma.” She held back a smile." Yes, ma'am. " I bit my lip." You must have realized by now that Henry told me everything. " She took a deep breath " What you did was very serious and irresponsible!" Yes, I know..." You could have lost everything, Mrs. Ferguson " she continued, causing me to laugh nervously. Lost everything? As if I had much to lose. " Did I say something funny?" I have nothing left to lose, Mrs. Dashwood " I looked away " I have no family, no fortune, and that's the least damage to my reputation if they find out where I came from. " “I'm aware of your situation, Emma,” she assured me, “bu
EmmaI did what Henry asked and managed to get to my room without attracting anyone's attention, despite my pounding heart. It had been like this since Henry woke me up, and I was sure he had used me and was kicking me out of his life for good, but after his brief explanation, I calmed down a bit, as much as possible.I carefully cleaned up all that blood, then got dressed. A feeling of guilt began to consume me. How will I face everyone knowing what I did? What will my conversation with Henry be like? What is he thinking about all this?I hope he was telling the truth when he said he loved me, because I certainly was sincere.I was considering whether or not to leave the room when a knock on the door startled me. Who could it be? Henry? I don't think the conversation would happen in my room. Did he ask someone to call me?I went to the door nervously, finding Katherine Dashwood standing there, holding what looked like some sheets."Mrs. Dashwood, what...""I don't have time right now
HenryI woke up feeling a little bewildered a few hours later, the room was dark because the candles had been extinguished and the curtains were closed. I sat up in bed, feeling a little cold because I wasn't dressed, before observing Emma asleep next to me.Emma!No, no, no... What have I done?Emma shifted on the bed, turning her face, which displayed a peaceful expression, towards me.How could I have done this to her! The details of the night before began to hit me as I watched her lying on her stomach with part of the skin on her back exposed. I should have waited, we were going to get married, I should have waited! It was my duty!What would happen to her fragile reputation if someone found out what happened here last night? Emma has already had so many problems adjusting. I've ruined everything!I realized that a servant would show up at any moment, she needs to get out of here, no one can know that she spent the night in my room." Emma, wake up " I shook her gently " Come o
HenryEmma left me standing there in the library bewildered, I couldn't think of anything but her, nothing else existed in my mind. But she was right to walk away like that, what I was about to do was unacceptable.I took a deep breath and went to my room, I had to marry her. I need to marry her as soon as possible, it's more than clear that my plan for a long engagement is unfeasible for both of us.I took off my boot and started to undress, trying to extinguish the excitement that had taken over my body, but all the time my mind wandered to Emma, she was only a few meters away, I could easily go to her, no one would know.No one would know.No! What am I thinking? I couldn't do that to Emma. She's the most incredible, strong and dedicated woman I know. I can't disgrace myself with her like that.On the other hand, I want to make her my wife! It's clear that I'm not having fun with her! I'd marry her tomorrow if it were possible!That's it. I gave up thinking, opened the bedroom doo
EmmaAs much as Henry says my essence hasn't changed, that's not how I see it. This dance was proof of that, I had fun! I had fun when I shouldn't have, that tambourine was a part of me that I had been ignoring for a long time, suffocating it day by day.I moved it gently, listening to the sound it made. I missed it, I really did. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, letting my mind wander to the song my mother always sang to me. It wasn't a gypsy song, but I loved the rhythm and even my father learned to play it so we could dance."I hear your voice on the wind. And I hear you call out my nameI began to chant in a tone that resembled a whisper; if I concentrated hard enough, I would hear the melody and my mother's voice soothing me."Listen, my child!' you say to me, I am the Voice of your history, Be not afraid "come follow me, Answer my call and I'll set you free.'I started to move according to my imaginary rhythm, shaking the tambourine with my body, that dress was getting in
As soon as we separated at the end of the melody, I noticed Henry standing watching me from a distance. Didn't he dance with anyone?I planned to go to him, but Georgie intercepted me on the way."Did you really dance with Mr. Kinghley?" She whispered."Unfortunately," I sighed, watching him approach the young woman from earlier."You did well, you're attracting attention," she teased."I don't want to attract attention," I groaned."Has Mr. Dashwood asked you to dance yet?" Georgie prodded."No," I sighed, debating whether or not to tell Georgie about our kisses, giving up the idea immediately. No one could even dream about it. "Mr. Kinghley was quicker.""Do you think he'll ask you?" She smiled."I don't know..."I fell silent when I noticed a red-haired boy approaching, coming directly to us."Miss Crawford," he greeted her, "It's a pleasure to see you again.""Mr. McGregor," Georgie smiled openly as the young man cast an eager look in my direction. "I didn't see you at the ball."
EmmaI was about to respond to that teasing when Henry appeared at the edge of the stairs. I couldn't help but admire his beauty as he patiently waited for us to finish descending the steps."The carriage is waiting for us," he announced with a slight bow."Henry, you must praise us immediately," Kitty scolded."You two don't need my praise to know that you look beautiful," he assured. "Although I...""Miss Ferguson," Christopher interrupted as he emerged from one of the rooms, taking my hand in a swift motion and bringing it to his lips. "You look divinely charming.""It's very kind of you, Mr. Kingsley," I returned, trying not to ignore the young man in front of me, while Henry gave his cousin a stern look."You should learn how it's done, brother," I heard Kitty tease him."Allow me to escort you to the carriage," Christopher offered his arm, leaving me unsure how to react.I couldn't refuse and expect Henry to take his place.Kitty linked her brother's free arm while I accepted Mr