How to let go of him

Aurora's POV

Arriving at school, I met Sophie, and we decided to sit in the garden. After settling down, Sophie looked at me with a curious expression. “So, how is it living with your godfather?” she asked, and I sighed. “Hell,” I murmured, and Sophie scoffed. “Really?” She raised a suspicious glance at me, piquing my curiosity.

“Why the look?” I asked.

She scoffed. “I have been your friend for over five years, Aurora. Do you think I'm blind not to know you have a crush on your godfather? Come on, girl, I can see it written all over you,” she accused, and a hard gulp went down my throat.

“What? You think I didn’t know?” She chuckled and shook her head. “Come on, girl, I see how you stare at him. You vividly undress him with your eyes,” she said, exaggerating. “I noticed the way you talk about him, and although you act like you don’t like him, I could see how often you blush whenever he was around. Girl, not only do you have a crush on that man, but you are in love with him, which is why you have never been able to date any boy.”

Sophie's words made me realize that I did a terrible job of hiding my feelings. I thought I was so good at concealing my forbidden feelings from everyone, but I never knew Sophie could see through me.

“When did you know?” I admitted; I knew there was no need to deny it.

“A long time ago, girlfriend,” she smiled, and I groaned. “Does that mean other people know about this?” I was getting worried. What would they think of me? A pervert who craves the arm of a man who was like a father figure to her.

“I don’t think anyone else knows about it apart from you and me,” she assured me, and I sighed. “It’s okay; I'm not judging you, and besides, any lady would crush on him. Sir Frederick is super hot,” she teased, while I rolled my eyes at her.

“Cheer up, are you this sad because of me knowing?” she asked, but I shook my head. “Then what is it?”

Hesitating for a moment, I sighed and looked at Sophie. “My feelings and urge for him are getting deeper, and the worst part is that he will never see me that way. To him, I will always be his little goddaughter,” I murmured.

Sophie remained silent for a moment before she spoke. “And are you sure he doesn’t have feelings for you?” She seemed to be doubting.

I scoffed. “He sees me as his goddaughter, nothing else. From that.”

Sophie raised a brow. “Are you sure? Because I see how he cares for and looks at you,” her words piqued my curiosity. “How does he look at me?”

She smiled and moved closer to me. “He stares at you with so much care and love in his eyes; you seem like the most precious thing to him,” she said, and I had to laugh at her ignorance. Of course, I knew he loved me, but as a father should love his goddaughter and nothing else.

“What is funny?” Sophie frowned.

I shook my head. “You are wrong, Sophie. What you see in his eyes is nothing romantic; Lord Frederick will never see me beyond his little goddaughter,” I muttered the bitter truth to Sophie.

My words didn’t convince Sophie, but she decided to let it be. “If you say so,” she shrugged.

We were silent for a moment until she spoke. “So, what do you intend to do?” She popped the question I had been asking myself for days. “If you can’t be with him, then you have to do something about your feelings for him,” she urged while I remained silent as I pondered her words. Of course, I knew I couldn’t keep dwelling on my feelings for Lord Frederick. I couldn’t keep craving a man I knew I would never have. But then I was confused about what to do. It's not like I could tell my heart to stop loving him; if I could, I would have done that a long time ago. I have tried to let go of my feelings for him. I have told myself countless times that Lord Frederick can never be with me for many reasons. Firstly, he was older than me with an age difference of twenty years, which wasn’t really the case because he looked nothing of his age. He has the face of a man in his late twenties and his body! Gosh! He has the body of an athlete; one could think he was in his late twenties. Secondly, he was my godfather; I practically grew up knowing him. He sees me as his daughter; in fact, he was present at the hospital where I was born. To him, I was his child. Thirdly, Lord Frederick was married. He got married two years ago, although I knew his marriage was more of a business deal. His supposed wife is a popular model in China. He married her in China, and she has never visited the country. Although his marriage is only based on paper, that still doesn’t change the fact that he was a married man. It was ridiculous knowing I was in love with my married godfather.

“What are you thinking?” Sophie asked as she noticed my silence.

“I’m confused. I wish I could just do something,” I murmured with a deep sigh.

Sophie glanced at me for a moment before she spoke. “I have a suggestion.”

“Really?” I was interested in it, anything that would help me get rid of my feelings for him.

“But there is a problem; I don’t know if you would want to do it.” The way she sounded, it seemed her suggestion was a drastic move, but I was still interested in it.

“Tell me; who knows, I might be able to do it.”

Sophie hesitated for a moment before she finally spoke. “I advise you to find a man and let him have sex with you. You are clinging to Lord Frederick because a man hasn’t touched you. Once you let another man into your life and let him have sex with you, I promise you that it will be a lot easier to let go of Lord Frederick,” she advised.

As foolish and ridiculous as her suggestion was, I couldn’t deny the fact that it was actually a good idea. But I can’t see myself being with a man who isn’t Lord Frederick; I have always visualized my first time with him.

“You have to think about it, Aurora. You have to get a boyfriend, let him have sex with you, and trust me, with time, you will be able to let go of Lord Frederick,” she urged while I just remained silent.

Her words resounded in my mind, and I wondered if I should really follow her advice and do what she had suggested. If I could get a boyfriend, have sex, and spend time with him, then I might be able to fall in love with that boyfriend of mine and fall out of love with Lord Frederick. But I knew it wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

“Come on, Aurora, there are so many boys who are head over heels for you, and one of them…” She looked in a direction, and I followed her gaze to see that she was referring to Austin, who was seated with a group of his friends.

“He has been staring at you, but you don’t seem to notice. That dude really likes you. Why don’t you accept his proposal? He is a good match for you, Aurora. I think he can satisfy you in bed, not as your hot godfather would, but at least he could reach a standard. And for falling in love with him, I’m sure that will be an easy one because he has always loved you, and he will do everything to make you love him too.”

My words seized in my mouth; I didn’t know what to think of her suggestion, although I knew it was a good one.

“I will think about it,” I mumbled, and she shrugged. “Suit yourself; let’s go; our class is about to start.”

As we left our seats, my eyes met with Austin’s. He smiled at me, but I frowned and looked away.

“What about we go clubbing today?” I suggested to Sophie, who raised a brow at me. “I thought someone is not allowed to be out once it’s 9 pm.”

I scoffed, “He is out of the country for business and won’t be back until tomorrow.”

“I knew you would never keep to that rule, but know that you will be punished if caught,” she warned, and I blushed. My thoughts went to the spanking he had given me, and if that were to be his punishment, then I couldn’t wait to receive it.

“I don’t care,” I shrugged nonchalantly as we walked into the class.

After attending all the lectures for the day, I decided not to return to Lord Frederick's home; rather, I followed Sophie to her house. We watched movies and had a great time until it was time to hit the club. Getting dressed for our outing, I noticed my phone was ringing, and when I went for it, I realized it was an unsaved number, but I still picked it.

“Hello?”

“Aurora, you haven’t returned home from school,” the male voice over the phone muttered, and I instantly recognized the voice as Fox’s.

“I’m not a kid; I’m nineteen for goodness’ sake,” I spat with frustration.

“It’s almost 9 pm; where are you? Remember your godfather's rules.”

I scoffed, a frown appearing on my face. “Well damn his rules; I’m coming home whenever I feel like it.” I didn’t let him speak before I ended the call and switched off my phone.

“Who was that?” Sophie inquired.

“My babysitter,” I murmured, and Sophie chuckled. “It’s not funny,” I grumbled, and she lifted her hand as a sign of surrender.

We got dressed and left for the club. Arriving at the club, we drank, but I made sure I didn’t drink much because I would be driving us home. We happily and cheerfully danced to the buzzing sound of the music, forgetting all our worries and concerns. Sex-hungry men came to us, but we ignored them all and danced together until we became exhausted and decided to call it a night.

I drove Sophie home, and she suggested I stay the night at her place, but I declined and bid her goodnight before driving back home. On the way, I noticed the street was deserted and had to check my wristwatch to realize it was 1 am.

Arriving at Lord Frederick's gate, I honked, and they opened it for me. I parked in the garage, got out of the car, and headed towards the main building. I noticed there were many security men in the compound, almost twenty of them, all staring at me with an unsettling look that I couldn’t quite understand.

Ignoring their stares, I entered the sitting room to find the lights off, probably because the servants had retired for the night. I reached for my phone to use its light, but before I could, a familiar voice startled me, sending cold shivers down my spine and causing my feet to feel rooted to the ground.

“What's the time?” His voice, filled with anger, resounded throughout the room."