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80|Slow Down
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
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My Gangster Babysitter 81|If You Give Up
~Kai~I lay in Benny’s unmade bed, searching for reason in the darkness. Her scent lingered on her bed, sweet, feminine with a pinch of spice, comforting and depressing in equal measure. She must’ve gone home and slept, then decided to leave instead. My mind was going in circles, figuring out where she was and what could be going through her mind.How the fuck did we end up here? Was it all my fault? Was I really going too fast? All these questions kept bouncing back and forth in my head, unhinging me.In my heart, I knew Benny needed time to figure out what she wanted, who she wanted to spend her life with. I fucking hope she chose me, that she’d come back, but if she doesn’t, I have to let her go. How? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go rogue, be an assassin.My loss morphed into anger directed at the people who broke her apart. Dominguez, her mother, and somehow, me. I contributed to her self-doubt when I left her on the island.I’d wait for her. It’s not even a question. She got me for
My Gangster Babysitter 82|Some Company
~Benny~Rylee and Markus acted as if they knew nothing about why I appeared in the mansion’s doorway in the middle of the night, with puffy eyes and a wreck, no less. They acted casually around me, and so did Ro and Hunter, who’d been assigned by Klaus to watch over his family.Klaus was a security freak. This place was a fortress, but I got it. They doubled the security for everyone after Melanie.It had been a week since I arrived in Sicily. Kai’s voicemails and messages remained unopened on my phone. Apart from having no heart to listen to his voice or read his messages, I was too ashamed of what I’d done... for running away. I’m so fucked up in the head.Coward, that’s what I am. A big fucking coward.I’d been restless, unable to sleep, moving on autopilot but feeling empty inside. I mapped the trails around the estate morning and afternoon. At midday, I helped around the house, doing chores. Jimmy, the butler, scolded me twice, then gave up telling me not to do house chores. And
My Gangster Babysitter 83|The Choice
~Benny~“So… we’re good?” Hunter walked me to my room, shoving his hands in his jean pocket as I opened the door.“Yeah,” I faced him. Due to our height difference, I had to crane my neck to meet his questioning gaze. “Thank you for the talk. I needed that.”He regarded me cautiously, scratching the back of his neck. “You sure? I was out of line and didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Whoever Kai wants to be with is his choice.”I shook my head. “No. Really, Hunter, thank you. I… I think I’m ready to deal with my demons for real this time.”“Yeah?” Sympathy shone on his face. “Well, I’ll be here if you need me.”“Thank you.”~~Later that night, I sat on the edge of my bed, clutching my phone. I debated opening Kai’s messages or listening to his voicemails first. I’m doing this.Realization settled into me after my conversation with Hunter. I’m delaying the inevitable, and in turn, I’m hurting myself and Kai at the same time.I want to be with Kai, that’s as clear as a cloudless s
My Gangster Babysitter xx
Oh, I forgot to add this in the previous chapter. I will be joining an outreach program tomorrow, so my next update will be on the 27th, GMT+8.If my calculation is correct, there are only 8 chapters left in this book, 10 tops. And again, I will never tire of saying thank you for your comments, gems and reviews. This had been a bumpy journey, but here we are. I hope you’ll have a nice weekend with your families and loved ones.2.25.23x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
My Gangster Babysitter 84|How Far
~Kai~Rough sand groaned under the weight of my Nike as I dashed, cool wind swept against my skin, and my heart thudded in my chest cavity. Catching my breath, I faced the ocean. Breaking dawn came quickly, as it did yesterday and the day before.Two weeks. That’s how long I’d been staying here at Palmera beach. Staying at benny’s Paris apartment was pure torture. As the days rolled, I watched the door like a dog waiting for its masters, ears perking up with each car slowing in front of the building.I’d go crazy if I didn’t get out of there.Every day, I sent Benny messages, reminding her I’m here whenever she’s ready. Every day, her silence molded into boulders, weighing my hopes down. But I don’t know what else to do. It’s either I wait for her or go back to the dark life I called my reality since Selene’s death. If Benny doesn’t come back, I will settle for the memories she left me with. I have to be happy for her. I have to find a way to let her go.Bright yellow with orange stri
My Gangster Babysitter 85|Spur of the Moment
~Benny~This year, Markus decided to celebrate his birthday. It was a surprise since he shied away from huge gatherings, always sending Klaus in his stead. And for the last two years, he was content with family dinners, a simple celebration to mark his age.Soft jazz music spills through the hallway of the Amara Hotel in Ragusa, a hotel named after Klaus’ mother. Black and gold streamers and balloons adorned the function halls. A huge ‘happy 68th birthday’ was written on the stage across the entry. Guests in thousand-dollar suits and signature gowns huddle at each table covered with linens matching the gold and black theme.I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. This was my first event as Berenice Martinelli. It was inevitable that I’d be introduced as a Martinelli among my family’s friends and associates. Knowing that doesn’t take away the uneasiness and overwhelming balloon swelling in my chest, though.I was dressed right for the occasion. Rylee helped me pick this black spaghet
My Gangster Babysitter 87|Is This Okay?
~Kai~My brain went to a gruesome war against my body. Every cell in my body wanted to deepen this kiss, plunder her sweet mouth just like I pictured every day since she left. My brain understood my need, barely muting a protest that we were in a public place, a gathering for her father’s birthday, no less.Reluctantly, I ended the kiss. Benny’s mouth chased mine as I pulled away. My cock jerked. She wanted that kiss as much as I did.I kept my hand around her waist, staring down at her, admiring the red stain on her cheek.Heartbeats passed, yet my mind needed convincing that she was really here. I cupped her jaw and skimmed her plump lips, opening my mouth to speak, but she beat me to it.“I love you.”My heart stills. “What?”Her emerald eyes widen as dinner plates, as surprised as I am. Mouth gaping and closing like a fish out of water, she pressed her eyes shut, gathering her bearings.I was still recovering from her confession when she said, “but we can’t be together.”My wide e
My Gangster Babysitter 88|Overthinking
~Benny~“He asked me out on a date!”Without even a hello, I dropped breathlessly into the couch of Tracy’s office.She smiled at me, her inquisitive brown eyes roaming over my face. From the floor-to-ceiling glass window where she stood, her heels tapped against the sandstone floor as she strutted towards the couch opposing mine.Tracy was in her late thirties, her doll-like face made her look younger than her age. “Did you say yes?” she asked encouragingly.I sank further into the couch, tipping my head back onto the backrest. “I haven’t given him an answer.”It had been a week since Markus’ birthday. Since then, Kai and I have been talking every night, shooting messages back and forth during the day. Our late-night conversation had been the most anticipated part of my day. I waited for his messages and calls like a love-sick puppy.“Is something holding you back?” A slight frown creased Tracy’s forehead. “You’ve been waiting for him to ask you out.”Sitting up straight, I mulled ov
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My Gangster Babysitter 95|I Kinda Love This One
~Benny~ In the pregnant silence that followed, Klaus’ grin morphed into a frown of confusion and rage, then a mask of indifference. His emotions were suddenly sucked into the black hole of his passive expression as he pushed from the chair, eyes trained on Kai and me. Rylee’s hand covered Klaus’, gripping the knife he used in cutting his fillet. I sucked in a breath. His hands were terribly shaking. Worry raged in my mind. Kai, on the other hand, was as calm as the August wind. His thumb was even drawing circles on my knuckles beneath the table. Like an emotional iceberg, Klaus turned, exiting the dining room towards the lawn. A few moments later, a motorcycle heading for the estate’s entrance rumbled until the sound faded. “I think that’s our cue to leave,” Ghost murmured. “Thank you for inviting us over.” And the rest of Klaus’ men followed him out. Markus, Rylee, Kai, and I remain sitting at the dining table for twelve, with empty plates and glasses. This dinner started so wel
My Gangster Babysitter 94|Is That All?
~Benny~Hiding my excitement that Kai and I were finally engaged was like wearing a mask of indifference all day. Rylee caught me too many times grinning like a demented fool to myself, and all those times, I lied about why I was on cloud nine. She knew it had something to do with my weekend escapade in LA, and she’s trying to find out why.But Kai said, for his safety, I had to keep my mouth shut about our engagement. It’s because of Markus and Klaus’ stupid bet. I’ve been on a mission to get Rylee to spill hints about what was at stake.“So…” I bumped Rylee’s hip with mine. “Do you know what Klaus has been up to these days?”Rylee pinned me with a sideway questioning glance. We were in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the family and our guests. Klaus invited his team to celebrate successfully putting up MiRa Investigation and Security. He named his security company after Mikael and Ramona.“He’s always up to something.” Rylee turned back to the three fillets in the cutting board, s
My Gangster Babysitter 93|To Be Reminded
~Benny~I tripped once and almost fell on the bathroom floor while freshening up and changing into the red baby doll I bought specifically to seduce Kai. My heart drummed in my chest as I entered the bedroom; Kai sat on the edge of the bed.His gaze lifted to mine, a crease on his forehead, his eyes traveled down the length of me.I shifted in my bare feet, chewed my lip, and wondered if I’d get punished for not following his instruction. The danger lurking in those darkening gray eyes should bother me as he took in the thinness of my dress, but I felt the opposite. It stirred my libido to life. A zeal for the dark promise of his heavy-lidded gaze started to brew in my belly.I didn’t wear anything underneath this see-through dress. My nipples were pebbled hard, poking through the fabric, yearning for some relief that I knew Kai could give.“Come here,” he commanded in a low growl. My pulse quickened. This is what I want. This is what I’d been waiting for since the night I confessed
My Gangster Babysitter 92|You
~Kai~“Can we have sex now?” Benny grumbled with a pout.The beer I was sipping went down the wrong pipe and came out of my nose. That shit fucking stings. I coughed, slammed a fist on my chest, and stared wide-eyed at Benny. “Damn, baby. Warn a man, won’t you?”We had moved to the balcony. Benny’s bare feet rested across my lap as we languidly drank our preferred alcohol. Wine for her, and I was on my third bottle of beer.I planned to make love to her. My cock had been knocking on my pants since she arrived, but I didn’t want to come as a sex-starved man when I was anything but.We discussed our plans for the next few weeks and agreed to keep our engagement a secret for now. If my assumptions are correct, Klaus will throw a fit if he loses the bet. And I don’t want to be around when that happens. That man does not deal well with losing.Benny blushed, crossing her arms over her chest. “What? We haven’t had sex since Paris. That was two months ago. I thought you won’t be able to get
My Gangster Babysitter 91|Turn of Events
~Kai~New York dragged longer than I anticipated, effectively slashing the prospect of seeing Benny before I flew to LA off the tables. Klaus dipped into the business of private security. He had the team secure office and training facilities, permits, and background investigation on the staff, which will continue the process we’d started. It had to be strategically planned, from putting up private security to hiring our people and targeting our market. After the fiasco with Dominguez, Kino, and Davide, Klaus had been particularly meticulous in hiring employees. Cleansing Martinelli Holdings was a grueling process, like weeding the garden so the flowers could bloom, and bloom did the company did. And Klaus saw the need to have his own legal private security for all their businesses. As the current security manager of Martinelli Holdings, Klaus tasked me to establish security in their newly opened hotel. Even with Klaus’ people working with me, I was hands-on in every step that neede
My Gangster Babysitter 90|Take Control
~Kai~Kissing Benny had always been out of this world, always better than the last, and tonight it was sweeter, hotter, and steamier. Maybe because our feelings were finally out in the open.I struggle to pull away from her, remembering where we are. It was fifteen minutes before eleven. Although I wanted more time with her, keeping my word to Markus was at the top of my priorities.Still breathless from my kiss, Benny toyed with the ends of my hair. She was on her tiptoes, lips plump and red from my sucking and nibbling. My hands circling her waist dug into the exposed skin of her tank top, drawing her closer.“Are you sure you don’t want to take me back to your hotel?” she asked coyly, desire sparkling in her eyes.I groaned, grabbing a handful of her ass, rubbing her against me. “Stop, temptress. I promised to get you home by eleven. This is me keeping my word.”A sultry smile tugged at her lips. “Technically, you did.”She was playing me, and it’s fucking working. I missed her so
My Gangster Babysitter 89|Thank You
~Benny~I fought off the smile that was about to tear my face in half, watching Kai slow his motorcycle to a complete stop in the mansions’ roundabout. He was the image of a magazine model in his rugged jeans, vintage gray tee, leather jacket, and biker boots. His hair had been mused to perfection as though he ran his fingers through them a couple of times; either way, he looked good enough to eat.He grabbed the bouquet of roses sticking out from his backpack and jogged the stairs until he stood before me on the threshold.“Hi.” His blinding smile made my heart swoon. “Hey,” I greeted back breathlessly, taming my prancing heart and knocking my ribcage walls.He offered me the flowers, and their soft scent instantly hit my senses. He hesitated for a beat, biting his lower lip before dipping and planting a gentle kiss onto my mouth. “You look beautiful.”Heat bloomed on my cheeks, and I was glad an hour of fumbling over my closet paid off. He told me to dress casually; I ended up with
My Gangster Babysitter 88|Overthinking
~Benny~“He asked me out on a date!”Without even a hello, I dropped breathlessly into the couch of Tracy’s office.She smiled at me, her inquisitive brown eyes roaming over my face. From the floor-to-ceiling glass window where she stood, her heels tapped against the sandstone floor as she strutted towards the couch opposing mine.Tracy was in her late thirties, her doll-like face made her look younger than her age. “Did you say yes?” she asked encouragingly.I sank further into the couch, tipping my head back onto the backrest. “I haven’t given him an answer.”It had been a week since Markus’ birthday. Since then, Kai and I have been talking every night, shooting messages back and forth during the day. Our late-night conversation had been the most anticipated part of my day. I waited for his messages and calls like a love-sick puppy.“Is something holding you back?” A slight frown creased Tracy’s forehead. “You’ve been waiting for him to ask you out.”Sitting up straight, I mulled ov
My Gangster Babysitter 87|Is This Okay?
~Kai~My brain went to a gruesome war against my body. Every cell in my body wanted to deepen this kiss, plunder her sweet mouth just like I pictured every day since she left. My brain understood my need, barely muting a protest that we were in a public place, a gathering for her father’s birthday, no less.Reluctantly, I ended the kiss. Benny’s mouth chased mine as I pulled away. My cock jerked. She wanted that kiss as much as I did.I kept my hand around her waist, staring down at her, admiring the red stain on her cheek.Heartbeats passed, yet my mind needed convincing that she was really here. I cupped her jaw and skimmed her plump lips, opening my mouth to speak, but she beat me to it.“I love you.”My heart stills. “What?”Her emerald eyes widen as dinner plates, as surprised as I am. Mouth gaping and closing like a fish out of water, she pressed her eyes shut, gathering her bearings.I was still recovering from her confession when she said, “but we can’t be together.”My wide e
