My friends turned to me with a shadow of solidarity in their eyes. They knew that Aiden had been my dream of consumption since the first grade. He was part of the group that never noticed my existence, unless some test was scheduled for the week."They went together on the tour to the club and say they spent the whole trip kissing. "Glenda lowered her eyes, dull. "He asked her to date during the English class break, I thought you had seen it.”“I was in the library! "Always in the company of my books.Nicole stroked my hair gently.“Don't care, Suzy. He doesn't know that he would be much happier dating you, someone who really likes him. You'll find something better.”"How could he do this to me? We've been dating for eight years! “I choked, furious. Aiden was the only one in the whole school who didn't know about this part of our relationship."I hope he broachs," Glenda begged, twisting her expression in fury. I stopped grumbling, confused. Just because of the questioning look on eve
My door opened the moment I finished fastening my hair with a black clip. "Where do you think you're dressed like that? "Questioned my mother, blocking the hallway of the house with her small body.I took a look at my short and loose black dress, and the high boots that wrapped around my knees. I wasn't as vulgar as the shock on his face showed, and I really didn't want to argue about my new way of dressing, so I took some jacket and hid the neckline between my no big breasts. My mother kept looking at me with an ugly face.At that time, I used to believe that any type of clothing would look perfect on my skeletal teenage body. My family used to fool me with certain comments about how thin being was ideal to fit in elegant clothes, and I rarely doubted it.In this way, even with too thin legs, long arms and visible bones, I felt like a Marilyn Monroe inside loose and fluttering clothes, but no one ever told me that my appearance came closer to an ironing board with ruffles thrown over
I was moving away from everyone little by little, gradually losing my will in what always gave me pleasure, and every atom in my world focused on the existence of Jonathan Maxwell.He liked the black color, so I started to dress up with as many black clothes as I could find in my ridiculous colorful closet. My loose hair used to get in the way when he wanted to mark my neck with painful bites, so I always made sure to attach them before I found it.My simple life became a little game of adaptations and changes that were not only visible to Jonathan. Anyone could notice that I was always policing myself, detecting my movements and perfecting my facial expressions. Everything to please Jonathan Maxwell.He deserved to be pleased.Everyone around him did everything to give him what he needed, even if he didn't ask. And I didn't want to be different. I thought that if I didn't live up to his demands "many of them silent and complicated" I would end up being exchanged for someone more expe
But I didn't know that not always what we want, or what destiny puts in our paths, is the right thing to keep in our lives. Sometimes you can say no to someone who comes up suddenly, because he's only there to be the stone you're going to stumble upon. If you choose to reject it, you can stumble and move on, but if you decide to keep it in your pocket, the weight will always make you choose the wrong way.I got in the car and stretched out to kiss Jonathan while he started. He was talking on his cell phone, and the radio was turning on, so none of us could hear my mother cursing in the middle of the sidewalk, although his skinny image was being reflected by the rearview mirrors of the car.I tried not to feel guilty as her image became distant, and the wind coming from everywhere through the lowered windows hit my face hard, but I failed when I felt a knot forming in my throat.If I was lucky not to get beaten up when I came home, I would have to listen to a sermon of those given by B
My mother wasn't exaggerating when she threatened saying that I would end up getting a one-way ticket to my father's house.My father has always been a fundamental piece to the puzzle of the past that was gradually set up within my mind, so it is more than important to emphasize the reason that led to his first separation: he never had time for the family, and never showed patience to deal with the conflicts that are part of the duty of every father. We had never lacked money, comfort and perks "even after my parents' divorce", but in relation to his performance as a responsible tutor, he always left something to be desired.In the December vacation, I was placed on a plane bound for Washington, without the right to complain or kick. But considering the degrading state that the blame for not listening to my mother had taken me, I didn't even try.I no longer wanted the courage to look on my mother's face since the day I crossed the door of the house with my clothes crumpled and pain s
Jonathan appeared at the door with a desolate and more serene face than I saw in all the almost two years we knew each other. He asked me to come in, and even if I didn't want to, Gabby left. I couldn't blame her, if I had answered her questions about boyfriends I could have warned her about Jonathan and his enviable art of taking anyone into her conversation. Once again he succeeded in deceiving and disguising his intentions.My father's always so shrewd and cool girlfriend made a point of reminding Jonathan that the difference in our ages was one of the reasons why my mother was in favor of distance. Jonathan, in turn, was complacent and empathetic, saying that he would not have gone to Washington without first having had a conversation that "according to his words, and not mine" clarified all his agreement with my family. While listening, Gabby limited herself to moving her eyebrow and nibbling her lip, inexpressive.Jonathan bothered to make a self-depreciating speech to convince
"You look discouraged," whispered Jonathan.I inaled deeply, bored, and an explosion of sweet odors invaded my nostrils.”"I'm just thinking about what your plan was when you came to me.”Jonathan tilted his head slightly, and the silky strands of his brown hair slipped subtly over his forehead. He had the same dark locks as his mother, from whom he also inherited his smile. But although he had never seen his father for something other than a photograph, it was clear that the height was the point at which he inherited. Jonathan was bothered by my height, but it wasn't even that big. Maybe it was a kind of inferiority complex."My plan was to apologize. "I looked back, and Jonathan laughed. "No, not that kind of excuses. I mean in general, Suzy. I am sorry for all the problems and discussions we have had in recent months. I'm sorry for diverting my anger to a person as sensitive as you, and I'm sorry, from my heart, for all the evil you brought into your life. I really regret it. You a
"What sound is that? "I asked hoarsely for the excessive use of the voice."There is a gallon of water loose in the trunk," Jonathan replied, increasing the volume again. He looked through the rearview mirror, momentarily fixing his brown eyes on the rear seats. "I need to stop at a station to solve this problem.”We went down the interstate with the voice of an opera singer screaming in our ears. The traffic was a mess, which contributed even more to our delay and the pain in my head. Going through the expressway at a pace similar to that of a slug, when we arrived at the nearest gas station it was already early in the morning. There was no gas station attendant, so Jonathan fueled the car alone and entered the small convenience store.Taking advantage of the minutes of peace, I lowered the volume again, and leaned back, closing my eyes. I didn't have time to reflect on the relief I felt inside me seeing that Jonathan had not prevented me from ending what we had, because the blow was
I listen to her steps before she appears on the door frame, balancing herself in high heels that highlight the entire length of her naked thighs.Leaning with one hand on the wall, she watches me for a long time, from where I am kneeling waiting for her, venerating her.She's in no hurry. You know that I am, more than ever, willing to drown in any delight that your newly discovered sexual hunger is inclined to offer me.Therefore, I take this as an invitation to record every inch of her body in underwear made of leather and latex. She is wearing a black bodice with braided buckles that settles around her breasts as the perfect design of a heart, leaving her lap raised and more inviting than she has ever been. Black hair is hidden for some reason under a blonde wig that barely reaches your jaw, but that matches perfectly with your idea of innovation.I'm pretty sure I have my eyes shining when I notice the garter belt that connects in her tiny panties, considering that she worries about
“Listen, Mika. I want you to calm down. This is nothing but drama and emotional blackmail, it's soon over. And Grandma hit you for believing she's not strong. Have you ever thought how many times she and our mother fought and kept talking?”"This is not about mom," she sighs, calming down. "Our grandmother is dying, Suzy. She doesn't have any more time. She can't worry anymore. You can no longer have to stay away from your grandchildren because they are contrary to what her daughter wanted. She always wanted us to have someone to take care of us, but she also believes that this someone has to be a man, and all I want is to offer her some comfort before it's too late and that this guilt tear me apart inside.”That's what it is.Guilt made me make hasty decisions, but if I had had another choice... If I could have prevented the worst things in my life from happening... I understand what my sister means, but I can't help but shudder.My family is too conservative for a woman who succeeds
TWO MONTHS LATER“Something tells me that there are two very hungry people, Suzy... "sing Gabby when she appears through the door with two dormant packets in her arms.Gabby invades the office of my apartment without worrying about the cardboard boxes that guard my future move, and that lined up in the four corners of the walls, smiling openly even with the uncomfortable crying of two children at the same time. They are wrapped in wraps of the same color, because I didn't want to prematurely define the color my children should use "like blue for Adam and pink for Eylem; both are in red.I ask Gabby about Hunter's whereabouts, in which she gestures with her shoulders, going around the table so I can carry the babies. She says that my husband may be in the bath, or in the room he has been using as a studio for his photos, or simply resting. She cheerfully nods to Colton and Penelope sitting in front of me, both with expressions of pure charm when seeing the babies.Penelope sighs passio
Long before I met Jonathan, I tried to deal with my problems with oblivion, with ignorance. Because I thought that not admitting something could make it less true. So I didn't admit my mistakes, and I didn't see the mistakes in others, because that way it was easier to continue acting naturally even with the chaos in my head.This caused me problems in the future, made me sick and weakened. I filled my head with unnecessary occupations. On the other hand, I learned several languages, traveled the world to graduate as many courses as I could, I got a chance to show everyone who blamed me that I could be better than that. But inside, there has always been the shadow of a child hidden in my tangle of memories. There has always been instability.I open the door that takes me to the leisure area of the roof, where the water in my pool is motionless and apparently very cold. The large window that allows me to see the sky is open, blowing a cold breeze against my loose hair, pushing it to my
No one dares to even give a peep while watching, stunned, the long and intense kiss that Mikaela steals from Penelope.Not even Colton, whose act is limited only to taking a step back, looking away and leaving. He takes the glass of some drink in his hand in a hurry to go out the door, without caring about the looks that move to accompany him. I can't see her face, because he passes through the door with his head down, but the strength with which he hits her says a lot about what Penelope's inertia before the kiss may have meant to him.Penelope, however, is the first to recover from the shock, and what she does next almost allows us all to hear Mikaela's heart breaking.She is reluctant for a second, but ends up pushing Mikaela away, pushing her with a touch of delicacy on her shoulder, just before looking for Colton. When she realizes that he is not, Penelope curses some profanity and passes by Mikaela as if she were just a stone on the way. In a single second of impetus, my friend
"You only live once," rehe rehetes Nicole, another friend of ancient times. "It was always this phrase that Glenda used for us to agree to do something stupid.”“Nothing has changed! "Exclaims Samantha in a muffled scream, putting her shell-shaped hands in her mouth.Only three of my best friends at school could be here right now. I made the invitation to everyone because I remember that they made my wedding one of the best brands of my life. And the best part about this is that they are all already married, or with children, and offered to take care of me in the postpartum period."How are you feeling about waiting for the babies, Hunter? “My father asks.“Nervous”Glenda laughs."If Suzy hadn't been so exaggerated, she would have had one baby at a time," she scolds in a mocking tone."I just need to know the formula to get far away from a twin pregnancy. It's my husband's dream, "laments Samantha."Stay away from the Turks," I warn.Hunter slides an arm around my body, wrapping me e
"It's great to have all of you here tonight," I say when I raise a glass of juice. "It's not a Thanksgiving day, but it's a meeting with the most important people in my life, and the last time I'll see you for a while.”My pregnancy will not reach the thirty-seventh week, like the pregnancy of a single baby, and that is why I had the choice to prepare for hospitalization in the maternity hospital with almost eight months of gestation. Recognizing this left me panicked at first, but I already knew that I could not rule out a cesarean section since my exams became more frequent each new month.The babies are big and heavy, my stress "no matter how small it has been in recent weeks" has increased the chances of a premature birth, and my anxiety has not helped in much to ensure my rest. I'm leaving tonight for the maternity hospital, and I chose to have a dinner with friends and family members "the only family that really matters" so that they can give all the positive vibes I need for th
I observe the funeral silence that seems to observe us as a living form. Nothing but dust and silence, it's all we become after we were dead. How many of these souls will ever find peace?"One day they will cease to exist, dear. They will never be forgotten. We will still be fighting for them. Remember what you told me on our honeymoon?”Hunter gently denies it with his head.“I knew a lot of secrets for you that night.”I give a soothing smile with the memory."And one of them was that if at some point I thought about giving up, I should remember that I still had a world to save. We still have a world to save, Hunt. The world that will be the home of our babies. Don't give it up. Not now.”Hunter retreats slowly, looking at my face as if he were seeing him for the first time. Maybe you are writing down the details and remembering others that may have been forgotten in your period in prison. The anklet deliberately hidden under his jeans shows no sign that he may have problems for bei
We are in front of one of the cemeteries where unidentified people are buried. Hunter's uncle brought us here this morning, with the intention that I thought was a way to get closer to the family ties they lost over thirty years. It is the worst day anyone could have chosen to visit a cemetery without gates or any privacy, in an open field with a lot of dust and dead trees around.Path hand in hand with Hunter, while his uncle makes his way on the ground and talks about having visited each of the nameless tombs over the years so that he could bring peace even to those who have never had a family to cry about in their graves.It's a windy and terribly humid day, like the prelude to a storm.It's autumn, we are about to enter winter, and even the sun is misleading at this time of year. I'm wearing a scarf and above all, my body temperature has dropped faster than usual, and I'm always thinking of a way to protect my babies at all costs; even if the evil to be fought are the strong winds