Chapter 10 - Smart

Scrolling through my phone has always been one of the most interesting things I do but at this moment, I literally feel like stabbing myself with a knife but the only thing stopping me is the pack of cadbury caramel chocolate, twix and pack of oreos.

If I weren't stressed eating that stuff, I would be dead. Exams are coming up, I don't wanna study but I want to pass.

With a deep sigh, I lock my phone in frustration and place my phone face down on the old, wooden surface of the school library table. As my eyes wander around the room, I lock eyes with the one and only Andree.

All he was doing was walking but it looked to me like he was modeling for an advertisement. You know those slowmo steps they take, then run their hand through their hair? Yeah, that type. I couldn't miss the wink he shot me as he walked over.

I couldn't help but nervously bite my lip, trying not to curse that he's here. Talking with him has always been hard since the incident that happened when we were younger.

"Time to study chem" He sat, throwing his books on the table.

"Do we have to?!" I groaned.

"Yes!"

"But why?"

"Because I have a test and I still have the cookie clip" He said, giving me a duh tone.

"Hey! I could just walk away and let you fail so watch you tone with me young man! I'm your teacher now" I said, taking advantage of the situation.

"Look, can you please help me study?" He pleaded, suddenly making me feel like a rude person.

"I was joking, take your books out" I nervously smiled, then cleared my binder and the contents of my pencil case from the right side of the table.

"Thanks" He said, placing the collection of printed sheets our teacher gave.

"What do you need help with?" I start, and he shakes his head dismissively, opening his textbook to the first page.

"I don't understand a thing"

I smile, gently pushing his shoulder from across the table "I'm sure you know something."

"I got 16% on the last test" He reaches into his backpack, digging around "I really don't know anything"

"Well, it means you know something, if you had said zero, I would understand"

"I cheated off those girls that keep trying too hard to get with me," He replied.

I lift my eyebrows, surprised. "Hey, well it's only up from here." He retrieves a lone black pen and places it onto the table.

"Yeah, I hope so."

• • • •

We studied for 30 minutes only but this guy started sleeping in around 20 minutes and half of my snacks were all eaten by him, even my twix.

I watched him yawn, taking a bite of my oreos.

Knowing that it wasn't important, I tried explaining a simple concept to him, one that is completely and utterly integral to him passing this test but he just blankly stared at me. I can tell that my words are going in one ear and out the other.

"You're actually smart, like really, really smart" He commented, opening a new sachet of my twix, it's his 5th.

My cheeks suddenly felt warm. I can tell by his bemused expression that they are tinged red. I blush a lot, every little thing makes me blush. I can't help it, especially when it comes to my cliche bad boy. It reminded me of my primary blush experience.

Timothy Mantle, year four. I remember my girlfriends teasing me about him all the time about my huge crush on him. It lasted for a really long time.

I can still remember his deep brown curls and his warm, chocolate eyes. Is that creepy? He was so hot. Well, hot for a 10 year old. He had these dumb gestures and phrases he used to say all the time.

He was so good at english, I remember. He could just put phrases together so elegantly that they flowed from one to another. One time he wrote a creative writing piece about a princess that did not want to be a princess, who just wanted to have fun and jump on trampolines.

At least I didn't have a crush on Andree as big as I did on Timothy. I mean, at least I don't have a crush on Andree. At all.

"Thanks." I smile awkwardly, looking down at my summaries.

Andree's gaze doesn't waver "Thank you so much for this." He says, and it feels sincere. "It really means a lot to me."

"I don't mind Andree." I softly replied "I needed to study for chem anyway. We have exams coming up remember"

"Liiza, I'm serious. I don't think I would be able to stay in high school without sport, and without good grades, I can't play any sport, let alone be on the soccer team."

"I really don't mind." I repeat again, feeling self-conscious.

"It just doesn't work like that in my head, you know? Sometimes I feel like I'm just reading the same thing over and over, and I'm reading the words and sentences, but I just don't get it? It's like I forgot what I was just reading two seconds ago." He shakes his head, finally breaking his stare. "I used to try, like really try at school and I still only just passed. I guess I just gave up."

It feels weird to hear Andree opening up to me. Why did he suddenly care? When did he get feelings? But then again, don't judge a book by it's cover, I never really tried to get to know him well.

"I don't know what to say, Andree." I interlope my hand with his "You're going to be okay, alright? You're going to pass all your subjects and you're going to be on all the sports teams you want and-" I stop myself, suddenly feeling nervous.

His hand feels warm next to mine, calloused and large. I am very aware of my body, my actions, and my words.

"You're going to do great." I softly finished.

What am I doing? Holding hands with Andree, with the guy not a week and a half ago you hated desperately with all your being? And not only that, you initiated it! All of a sudden, he feels very close. He hasn't moved at all, but I am so aware of his presence.

"I guess we should get back to studying." He says finally, after a seemingly long moment. I pull my hand away gently and return to the mind map we were making.

"Yeah, I guess." 

What am I doing?