Chapter • 6

ZYLITH.

There was a haunting silence after I spilled my fart words of anger, and suddenly the King retorted with an astonished "WHAT!"

However, Lord Gilbert beat him to the curb and rose into a brash retaliation, "Goodness lady, how could you act so vulgar and unsightly in front of His Majesty. And....And...to even suggest such obscene behavior of His Majesty is an insult to not only His Majesty but also to the Royal family. You could be put on trial for such insolence."

"Oh My! I'm so sorry Lord Gilbert, I didn't know His Majesty doesn't fart. See? I was right about the sh*tty ideas." My smile was one of my most dazzled ones and poor Lord Gilbert turned a different shade of white. Sigh! Honestly, sometimes even I am surprised by what comes out of my mouth.

"Pfft!" I heard a low snicker and I glanced around the room to find the said perpetrator, which surprisingly turned out to be Lord Brat fake Mummy. Ahaa!! I knew he had an insight for my sense of humor. But sadly so, the king shut him up with a deadly glower and cleared his throat. (Just a while ago he was laughing out like a hyena at his brother's disposition, and now when it was his brother's turn to laugh at him, he was all stern and glares)

"...(Ahem)...Let us stop this ridiculousness and be done with business." He said, "Lady Elizabeth, you shall retire to your chambers now, Lord Gilbert should show you the way and he will inform you of all that is to know about the royal wedding ceremony that is to be held tomorrow. And of the duties that you shall oversee as a Consort. As for Lexter..." He eyed his brother pointedly "you shall come with me now. We have many matters to attend to." And with the final word from the true King, all of us were dismissed.

Now don't get me wrong, I had nothing against Lord Gilbert. In fact, I thought him to be the most humble person since I arrived at this palace; but how do you not get irritated when someone is treating you like you're a cave man (I mean cave woman), granted I DID act like one, but that's no excuse to treat me like one. I won't condone this.

"Lady Elizabeth, the Royal wedding ceremony of Reveldron is one of the most rejoiced and prestigious event to ever occur. Now, I understand that you...err...come from not a very noble background, but that's no reason to act barbaric. I'm not asking you to be a perfect aristocrat, just don't ....uh...open your mouth in the wedding tomorrow other than the times where you have to say 'I DO'." See what I mean? Lord Gilbert was totally eyeing me like a retard. I'm NOT! I'm just a little smart ass, maybe a little stout, but here is my mouth; So, when I get worked up, I brawl.

I stared at Lord Gilbert with my cutest goo-goo eyes and mumbled looking desperate, "My lord! Trust me, I have a good heart. But this mouth....."

Poor Lord Gilbert was rendered speechless for he knew not how to respond to such a sassy Me!(Feeling pretty proud of myself right now)

After a while of suffocating silence, we finally reached my room, which by the way looked like Paris Hilton's glittery wardrobe. Not kidding. The room was literally adorned with jewels.

The high-class ormolu furniture had rubies embedded in them while the king-sized canopy silk bed had emeralds installed on its posts. I was afraid to sit anywhere in case I wrinkled the fabric or stain it with something I don't even know was on my pants_ sorry dress. The couch was cream colored but inlaid with fine silk; leaves embroidered so delicately that they might have landed there in spring and just sunk in, but I knew they took hundreds of hours to sew. The white curtains were linen, the kind of white that was untouched by hands and devoid of dust. The floor was a high polished wood, dark and free of either dust or clutter. The room almost looked sterilized. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!

I looked at Gilbert, dumbfounded and he just dismissed me like all of this was no big deal.

"Lord Gilbert, this....." but he didn't let me finish, "Lady Elizabeth, fake or not, you are the first Consort of Reveldron. So you should expect nothing less than this. Please rest while you are able. Things are going to get hectic soon." And he quickly retired for the night. Why did I sense some f*ckery was about to transpire? LOL, let's just sleep.

~•••••••••••~

I love this handsome bed. In fact, I'm in love with it. We're perfect for each other. But lord Gilbert doesn't want us together. The jealous wh*re.

".... lady, my lady, LADY ELIZABETH!!!"

"...Huh!! What! Who..Who died!" I got up in a fright. Gilbert was not waking me up. NO! He was wringing me up like a ragged doll. And no one deserved to be woken up this way.

By the time I woke up I probably looked like the dolls of my cousin Sally, lifeless and headless.

"Thank goodness you're alright, my Lady!" He heaved a relived sigh while he almost took all the life out of me. "I was so afraid thinking you might've been poisoned during your sleep since you didn't wake up no matter how many times I called out your name, I thought something might've happened to you." Was the palace such a dangerous abode for you to just drop dead of the face of this world like in a night? God! I think I just got myself screwed all over again.

"Right! Uh....I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. Please don't mind me." I passed him an awkward smile.

"(Sigh) That's a relief. Now my Lady, please remember, today no matter what happens, you have to smile and say 'yes'." He said and I frowned while looking at him skeptically, "What?"

"I know you must be finding it difficult to fathom everything that's been going on and I don't have enough time to explain it all to you but just remember to say 'I Do' to everything that is asked of you." He said. Yeah, I can smell some fuckery right there but I nodded in silence never the less.

Mom always used to say while twirling her wedding ring around her left ring finger, 'Marriage isn't a ring worn or a paper signed. It is not just about tying the knot, it is also about keeping the knot tight. It is the union of two hearts beating as one, each that would sacrifice for the other's happiness and wellbeing. Marriage is something so beautiful that even the Gods envied such a union.' Admitted, mom had been the dramatic type, but her words left a lasting imprint on me.

I might not look it, but I had always been the hopeless romantic myself. The kind who would dream of a fairytale wedding with butterflies and unicorns that farted rainbows and a love that would make me spend the rest of my life with someone I'd want to kill but won't do so because I'll miss them later.

Once upon a time, I was one of those girls who foresaw my wedding as the most perfect moment in my life. And today, was such a day.

I was dressed in the most extravagant of dresses. A dress custom made just for me(Don't even ask me how they did it in a day, never mind the measurements. I shall never get over nobles and their secrets) and I was decorated in pearls all over from head to toe. It was my best hair day and trust me when I say this, I didn't even know my hair could be made so perfect. My makeup was flawless and my shoes were a dazzling diamond. By the time all was over, I looked like a freaking jewelry box. And I'm not exaggerating.

The beautiful caramel colored gown that made me look freaking awesome, was entrenched with rich ocean pearls (I was specifically told that by the said Designer) and a splendid red rose (Real if I might add) fastened to my choker necklace, while an identical rose corsage sat on my right wrist. My hair, likewise was embellished with red roses and pearls. Yeah, you can totally envision it. I literally looked like a gazillion dollar living breathing jewelry box, pretty of course. But nevertheless, a jewelry box. I wondered if I would get to keep any of the stuff they were dolling me up with (I mean I'd be satisfied even with just the soles of my diamond shoes.) Everything was beyond Perfect. Except for the fact that everything was fake. I've imagined myself as many things, but never as an accomplice in a forged marriage of convenience.

"You look magnifique Mademoiselle! The Rohoyale Highness wouldn't be able to take his eyes off you." Lady Cecile, the most famed designer of this era squealed like a pubescent fan girl.

"....Ahahaha...thanks, I guess." I let out an awkward laugh.

"Well now, Seigneur Gilbert is awaiting Your Highness's appearance outside, shall we grace him with your presence?" Lady Cecile, offered her hand to escort me to Lord Gilbert and I gracefully took it.

"Ah! There you are Seigneur Gilbert. And here is Her Majesty in all her gloire. Doesn't she look just lovely." Lady Cecile handed me over to Lord Gilbert loaded with compliments while I couldn't keep from blushing since it was my first time hearing such praise about myself.

"Yes indeed My Lady." Lord Gilbert nodded in consent, "Lady Elizabeth looks the most gorgeous today." And me being me, I opened my mouth and ruined the great moment that was going on between us all. "Thank you so much for the compliment Lord Gilbert. Now I can totally die unworried, happy in the thought that this is going to be my ghost outfit forever." Lady Cecile had a face identical to a carp out of water and well.... I don't think Lord Gilbert was surprised. After all, he knew I'm the kind of person who can ruin the mood without even trying to. I guess that was that.

Without further ado, Lord Gilbert escorted me to the wedding venue. But before we entered through the massive oak door he reminded me, "DO. NOT speak unless need be. And smile PLEASE." And the armored guards outside opened the door for us.

The wedding venue looked very much like...... Olympus, or maybe Midas's castle would be a more relative comparison. Everything was gold and the room was glowing, if that was even possible. The room buzzed with excited chatter and rose petals tumbled from above, brilliant pink looking very much like baby confetti falling from the Heavens. The aisle was laid with a flame red Persian carpet with elaborate golden designs and pink rose petals sowed all over it, making the whole place look regal. The furniture was of ornate mahogany and were skillfully made. The flagstone floor was made with a stone of soft white hues that had never before been seen and the pillars were ostentatiously detailed, painted in brilliant gold and decorated with pink rose bouquets. The walls, were a bold pristine gold and were adorned with similar rose bouquets. One of the walls was dominated with ancient gold-rimmed paintings of the ex-kings and their harem of queen consorts. While everything looked beyond exquisite, the intoxicating aroma of the roses enveloped the room giving way to a more extravagant atmosphere.

When we entered the great hall, every pair of eyes in the room were fixed on me. Some were vacant, some resentful, but nevertheless it was as uncomfortable as a chorus-girl corset and had the same effect on my breathing, constricted and shallow. For a second, I stopped at the doorway and stood with Lord Gilbert at my side; desperately trying but failing to calm myself.

And then suddenly, the royal (more like rotten) music starts playing and I could feel my butterflies hula dancing in my belly. Taking deep breaths and convincing my butterflies to tone it down there, I looked up and found Lord Brat Mummy on the Iron_ kidding! Golden throne (these people just love gold) at the opposite end of the aisle, with a priest and an elderly man who seemed to be a high Pope with his cronies by his side. Lord brat looked every bit like a king who was used to sitting on jewels and blowing money like air. Quite exorbitant with the white tux, red furry-rimmed drape on his shoulders and the Golden crown. The entire panorama would've rocked if it were not for his out of place bandaged head(I mean just imagine a flowery sweet scene and a mummy with a crown amidst it all). Unconsciously so, my eyes searched for my husband to be, Reuben. But he was nowhere in sight. That just got me more on the edge.

"There's no need to be nervous. A queen should walk in with the air of regal confidence." Lord Gilbert whispered to me when he felt his hand being squeezed to the point of breaking, "Just keep calm and the Lady shall be fine if she does like she is told."

I looked at Lord Gilbert with desperate eyes and mumbled, "My lord, at the moment...I don't have a nervous system. I AM the nervous system."

For some reason, Lord Gilbert looked pained and exhausted, "Just please, remember not to speak."

We walked in further towards Lord Brat and I could feel my breath hitch, my darling butterflies were doing the somersault of druggies now. "Lord Gilbert, if I trip and fall, please know that I'm not clumsy. Things just increase their gravitational pull around me." I muttered and he glared back, "What in Heaven's name is gravitational pull.... wait, never mind just walk. And keep your mouth shut."

"...Erm, are the pillars really made of gold or did the painters just did a really awesome job at it?"

"Just shut up, would you?" And I went into mute mood. God! If I ran like my mouth, I'd be a super model right now.

After what felt like a year we finally reached the alter and we bowed before the king. Lord Brat Mummy got off his throne and came to us to take my hand from Lord Gilbert's.

He took my hand and lead me to the high priest with the bible, wait... it's not a bible. I don't know what it is but I think it's some religious book of this world. Whatever. Then the priest started his recitation.

"Today, we come forth together on this auspicious occasion to bear witness and bestow our blessings to the aboriginal cardinal union of our beloved King, His Highness Edward Regalious the III and his first Royal Consort, Queen Elizabeth Rosalinda Ronales. This is my privilege and Goddess sent fortune to have been chosen to perform this royal wedding ceremony. I, High Priest...blah...blah..blah... 'Wait wait wait! What the hell was happening here? Why was I standing in front of the priest with Little Lord Brat as my partner instead of Reuben. Where was my bridegroom damn it!'

Ah! And there it was, the f*ckery. I knew it was too good a day to be going without any hitch. My life was filled with hitches and suddenly everything goes so smooth!? Thankfully, I was right to not trust it and be on my guard.

I grabbed my fellow poser's sapphire-festooned cuffs and tugged hard. His mummy head slowly but surely turned towards me and I presented him with my best mess-with-me-and-I'll-tear-off-your-balls glare, "You INPOSTER! Who are you and what did you do with my groom?"