We walk to the kitchen in awkward silence.
That's unheard of, there is never anything awkward between us, but I can feel him being weird and I can smell his anxiety, so it’s infecting me. We sit down to eat together, but Farrow isn't eating like normal. He's a big man and spends most of the day exercising, so he's always hungry... except when he has a lot on his head. "Okay, what's going on?" I ask when I can't take it anymore. Farrow swallows but keeps looking down at his plate for a few more seconds, "Did something happen today at work?" He nods, still silent. Now I shut my mouth and wait for him. "I can't talk about what's going on yet," he mumbles almost to himself, a deep scowl on his pretty face, "I haven't finished thinking about it." "Overthinking about it, you mean," I say, pushing my food away and looking deeper into his eyes. Usually, I would let it go and let him bring it up on his own, but I can't today. I had that bad feeling all day, it's probably about this somehow, "Aleksei, just say it." "No, Sky, I don't even know how..." "Say it," I repeat, frowing and crossing my arms while I look at him, "I don't want to let this go and be weird around each other all night. We never fight like that, let's not start now." "Well, that's kinda the stuff I was thinking about," he starts, lifting a hand to his hair to scratch it, "Okay, we'll talk about it now... but let me finish speaking and trying to explain myself. Don't get mad." What the fuck? I nod, but I'm totally freaking out. What could he possibly have to say that would make me mad? "I was thinking we need a break," he says after a few seconds, making my mouth drop open. Out of everything I thought he would say this was not it, "Like, break up for just a little bit." There is instantly a sea of dark thoughts flooding my head, but for some reason I can't speak at all. I'm in shock. "Hear me out, please," he keeps going and grabs my hand on the table. I really need an explanation, so I let him, "I love you so much, Sky. Like... I would legit take a bullet for you. I would give you a kidney or a lung or my literal heart and I'm not exaggerating. You and Bobbie share the number one spot of the people I love the most and that's never changing." "But?" I ask, because I feel it coming. Farrow shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Today, when the new people came into the center, something happened," he starts, I nod for him to continue, "There’s a girl among them. A girl my age, very pretty. Like… so pretty.” I snatch my hand so fucking fast I hit myself accidentally. Then I stand up. "You promised to hear me out. Sit back down," he orders and pulls me so I sit down again. He gives me one his rare serious and intense stares, "I saw her and I thought: wow, she's so, so hot. She had my attention for a few seconds before I snatched it away in guilt, but that had never happened to me before. For… my whole life, you’ve been the only girl I ever looked at like that." Until now. I don't think he understands how much he just hurt me. I close my eyes so I can control my face, but it's useless because my tears start dripping out. "Skylar, god, please don't cry," he says and I can feel him getting up and kneeling in front of me, grabbing both my hands and trying to give me comfort but it doesn't work, not after he just said that. "I've been thinking about that all day. The girl didn’t really pay any attention to me, but she had mine all day," he continues, trying to hurt me even more, I guess, "And I realized... damn, I've really only been interested in one person my whole life. I'm twenty-eight and I never even had a crush on someone else, I've only ever been in love with you. I never experienced anything like a normal man, I didn't get to know myself in that way, like a single guy. I never went out to clubs with the intention to pick someone up or been out on disastrous first dates like the rest of my friends. Hell, just now my friends are finally catching up to me and the life I've had for fourteen years and it sucks to realize I missed out on a lot. So then I started thinking, god how fucking selfish of me to wish of a life that doesn't involve you. And then I realized it's the same shit for you. It's only been me for you. I'm the only guy you've ever kissed, the only guy you've ever loved. You missed out on a lot as well." "I don't look at it that way, though " I say. My voice all shaky, "I thought I was lucky to find my person so early in life. Someone I have so much fun with, never fight with and have great sex with." "How do you know, though?" He asks, his jaw set. I frown in confusion, "How do you know is great sex? I've only ever fucked you, I don't have experience. You could have the worst sex life and you don't even know." "Do you think I'm stupid or something? Trust me, I would know. But I guess if it sucks so much for you I have to rethink my entire life." "Come on, it doesn't suck for me. It's different for a guy, sex always feels good," he says, stabbing yet another metaphorical knife in my chest, "God, everything is coming out wrong. I mean, I love sex with you, of course. You're not the one who needs experience to make it good, I am." I laugh. In bewilderment. Who the fuck is this guy in front of me? "I didn't mean it like..." he shakes his head and groans in frustration, "I just mean, I hate to think I've been a horrible lover for all these years because I never fucked anyone else. But whatever, this is not about us fucking other people, I just want us to take a break to figure out who we are as single people." “And all of this came to light because you saw a girl who had your attention most of the day?” I ask. Farrow makes a grimace, but nods. Holy shit, this hurts, “Really, Farrow? Did you flirt with her, did you…” “No, no. She’s the new receptionist and I didn’t get the chance to speak to her at all, I just kept turning to look at her. Over and over,” he admits. I have to close my eyes and take deep, deep breaths, “This has never happened to me before, Sky. Me being so into someone else, it’s not normal. So, that’s why I want the break. To figure out if it’s just a quarter-life crisis or if I’m…” “Over me?” I whisper, my chest constricted. “Actually interested in her,” he finishes and that’s worse. Way, way worse.I can't believe this is happening. I have absolutely no words, so I just stare at him. "I understand this is awful, but I don't want to be a liar or hide things," he continues, sighing. My delicious chicken Alfredo is now forgotten, because my appetite has gone to hell, "I wasn't ready to tell you this yet, though, I needed to think about it some more." I take a deep breath and open my mouth to speak, but I stop when I hear big steps approaching. Bobbie. Farrow gets up and takes a seat again, before she asks questions. "I decided to eat, but just a little bit," she says when she enters the kitchen and sees us sitting at the breakfast table, then she frowns, "What? The vibes feel very weird in here." "Nothing. Here, have this," I say and offer her my mostly untouched food, "I'll go get another plate. We're having a serious conversation." "Oh, serious," she mocks me before grabbing the plate and leaving again. In a while, she'll come back down to grab something to drink. And then a
"It's fine, this is just a bump," I repeat when I'm looking in the mirror. I look like hell, so I advert my eyes and undress... but once I'm naked in front of the mirror, I can't stop myself from looking up again. I don’t like what I see. I haven’t felt like this since I was a teenager, but this time I hyper-focus on every little defect until I want to throw myself out the window. My hair is definitely my best feature and saving grace. Is thick, long and blonde. And very soft, shiny and healthy since I spend a fortune taking care of it. I love my hair very much… but other than that, I’m whatever. No, I was whatever when I was younger. Now I’m below whatever. I have the most basic of features. Average nose, average brown eyes, average lips. And my body is nothing to write home about either. I’m naturally thin, but that does not mean I have a good body. I have a soft belly, jiggly arms and my boobs are not as perky as they used to be. I think I've definitely let myself go.
“Chill out, mother,” Bobbie lets out like I’m the most annoying person she’s had the displeasure to meet, but her bitchy tone makes me relax a bit, “My coach got into a car accident earlier. She’s fine, but today’s practice got cancelled.” “Oh... do you want to spend some time with your dad in the meantime or do you want me to pick you up?” “Uncle Nico drove me to the new center so I could hang out with Dad, but he’s not here either. I've looked everywhere,” she complains, annoyed, “Now Uncle Nico is busy too and I want to leave. I don’t know anyone here.” “Okay, I’ll be there soon,” I say, frowning because that is very, very strange. There’s nowhere Farrow could be at this hour except one of his two training centers. “What was that about?” My dad asks when I get up from the couch. For a second, I think about the possibility of telling my dad about the situation and asking if this is actually a man thing or what, but before I can open my mouth, we hear footsteps approaching. It
What if… he’s here with that girl? Normally, I wouldn’t even entertain that thought for more than a second, but this time it sounds possible. Because he was out all morning with a random girl ignoring everyone’s calls. And now he’s here at a time he’s never here. My first instinct is to drive off and pretend I didn’t see him, go back to my parents’ and pretend I’m fine. But no, I can’t do that. Even if breaking up with Farrow is my biggest fear, I can’t just… ignore this. I want to ask what he did with that Violet girl all day. Maybe he had the same idea I had to come home and take a moment away from everyone and everything to calm down and re-group, right?Yeah, that’s a lot more logical. It sounds like us to have the same idea during a hard time. "Farrow?" I ask as soon as I walk inside the house, waiting a few seconds for his response, but there's nothing. No noise at all. I walk to the backyard in case he's out there. No. I go to the garage we never use except for stora
As I fill my suitcase with everything that seems important, I wonder why I'm not crying. I think it's because this is just extremely unexpected. In every single way. I still don't think it's actually happening, and if it IS actually happening... is so fucking ridiculous. So stupid. We've known each other for almost nineteen years. We've been together for fourteen and we have a thirteen year old daughter... but the guy I fell in love with and had a daughter with is not that guy out there, so why should I cry? My Farrow must be lost in a different dimension as well. I'm almost done with my suitcase when I feel him walking inside. "I'm really sorry, Sky," he whispers gently. That voice sounds like the Farrow I know, so my whole body stops for a second, "I know I did things wrong. I shouldn’t have fucked her yet, I should've told you first... I'm so... I'm just SO into her, Sky. And there is a reason why, but I don't know how to say it without hurting your feelings. I would
I hang up before Hope has the chance to respond and I walk downstairs very slowly, as if in a daze. Then I get in my car and I give myself a couple of minutes to breathe in and out and make sure I’m okay before driving to my parents’ house, as carefully as I can. The first thing I see as I park in my parents’ driveway is my sister walking back and forth, undoubtedly waiting for me. She looks angry and ready for a fight. “Where the fuck is he now?” She spits out as soon as I get out of my car. I know Hope would have punched both Farrow and Violet if she had been in my position. Or something worse. She would have handled that so differently… and that’s why she’s the cool sister with a fated mate and I’m the one who got cheated on. “I don’t know, with his new girlfriend somewhere,” I respond. My voice cracks at the end, so I shut my mouth and close my eyes for a second, “Please don’t make me cry yet, it’s not the time or the place for that. I don’t want anyone to know about
A few minutes later when I leave the room, I find Hope waiting for me right outside of the bathroom. “Where’s your mate? I didn’t know you could survive without his tongue all the way in your throat,” I murmur bitterly. Hope gives me a pitiful look, “What? I’m joking.” “Right,” she laughs drily, “Well, you look like you could blow up at any moment, but I admire how well you’re handling this. I would be in jail by now.” Yes, she would. “Let’s go pressure those old ladies to get the food ready,” she says and starts walking knowing I will just follow her. As always. A couple of my dad’s closest friends have arrived now, so the loud party has been moved to the backyard. Hope doesn’t leave my side for even a second once we’re there and whenever someone tries to bring Farrow up, Hope finds a way to change the subject and save me. Because that’s me, always in need of saving. I don’t have a backbone or balls to stand up for myself, not even now that I’m a grown woman. “I’m
"I'm scared of being without him, what am I going to do?" I continue, my voice breaking. "Oh, Sky," my sister sighs. I’m surprised she’s not telling me how stupid I am, but I guess she has changed since she found her fated mate. She has gotten softer, "I can't even blame you, it has been so long since you’ve been with him. You guys basically grew up together, everything about you is intertwined with him. I’ve only been with Daniel one year and I don't even want to imagine what would happen if he ever betrayed me like that. I would probably forgive him too. But..." "But it's different. He's your fated mate," I whisper, my eyes starting to water now, "Farrow isn't mine." "And we shall thank the Moon Goddess for that," she gently says and grabs my face to make me look at her, "If he turned out to be a cheater and a fucking backstabber, you're better without him. You'll see it one day. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you'll realize one day. And then your person will arrive, Sky, I
I stand up and get closer to the mirror for a second to make sure there's no more cream on my face before rounding my bed to get to his. Farrow narrows his eyes at me and braces himself when I walk until I'm standing right in front of him. This time, he's forced to look up at me and I quite like how he looks like this. Shirtless, hair messy and a little scared of whatever I'm about to do. "If you think it's so easy to just say no..." I start, feeling like a villain when his eyes get wide like he’s terrified. "Don't do anything crazy right now, Skylar. I'm not a saint..." "Hush, this is a test. If you think saying no is so easy, just say no and send me away," I continue with a naughty smile that I can't help because he looks terribly nervous when I start taking off my old pajamas. Now I'm annoyed I chose to wear them, but the way his eyes fall to my legs when I drop the pants to the floor makes it all worth it.I proceeded with the shirt and then I'm standing in front of my e
I sigh and roll my eyes as Farrow walks away. I hope he keeps that sassy energy all night because if he actually tries something, I'll give in. There's no point in denying it, I'll simply give in. And I’ll do it with a smile on my face. "At some point you'll have to realize you're dragging this. You’re dragging the unavoidable," Rocky says, making me return my eyes to him, "You need him right now, there is clearly a very mutual bond going on here." "Shh!" I let out, looking to make sure Farrow isn't still hanging around, "Shut up!” "Even for Farrow, this amount of sick obsession isn't normal. It's definitely him feeling the bond," Rocky continues, brushing Alex's hair back. The little boy is completely lost on Rocky's phone, not paying attention to us, "And that sort of thing doesn't happen just because, okay? You shouldn't ignore it or it'll just bring a lot of pain to both of you. Resentment looks very ugly on you, sis, let it go." "Easy for you to say," I whisper angril
"He won't be a step dad at all, Farrow. We're only casually dating. Very casually," I finally respond, avoiding looking at him. Farrow huffs and stays there, literally just standing behind and breathing over me for two more minutes until I'm done with the salad, then he walks behind me to the dinning table, "Oh, I forgot the napkins..." When I turn around, Farrow starts walking backwards so he can follow me to the kitchen again. This time, I have to close my eyes and stop a smile from growing. Stop it, Sky. Don’t smile at something so unhealthy and psychotic. This is sick behavior. Codependent behavior, like Rocky said. But... it's the bond, isn’t it? The compatibility bond because of the pregnancy. Farrow feels it too. His wolf feels it. "This is getting ridiculous," I scold him anyway, trying to reach for the napkins, but he grabs them first and then has the audacity to look at me as if he doesn't know what I mean, "You're acting like an anxiously attached pet. You haven't
"Cam is such a lame, isn't he, Bob?" Farrow continues a couple seconds later and his naughty hand falls ‘casually’ on my leg, trying to grab my thigh, but I grab his hand and put it back where it was. "Yeah, now that I think about it, he's kinda lame. And too old for you, Mom," Bobbie mutters, her Switch making noise while Farrow returns his fucking hand to my legs. And this is why I can’t trust this man. He always disrespects my boundaries and he laughs while doing so, making a game out of everything. "And he's not even that cute," Bobbie continues absentmindedly, "Dad is cuter." "Oh, she's so right," Farrow lets out in delight, bringing his hand back and trying to slip it in between my thighs this time. When I give him a warning growl, he gives me an offended look, "I'm just looking for a warm place to keep it. I'm freezing, it's so cold." "Stop," I say anyway. Because even though he's not being sexual, it's making me feel things and I don't need that. Not after the weir
“Mom! Mom, can I buy this?” Bobbie appears in front of me all of a sudden, showing me a make-up kit with a lot of different things. I only blink at her, dazed, “It’s only eighty five dollars and I have the money to buy it myself! You know, the money I took from Dad the other day… oh, hello…” “Hi, Bobbie, it’s good to see you again,” Cam says and points to the lady in front of us, “This is my mom, Lucy.” “Hi, Ma’am,” Bobbie says politely and Lucy gives her a warm smile, “It’s good to see you too, Mr Randall. Uhm… Mom, are you done here? The guy is waiting for me to pay but I didn’t actually bring my money, so you have to pay for it right now and I’ll pay you back once we’re home. I promise I’ll actually pay you this time.” She’s being frantic and little rude, but she is giving me the out I need. I’ll gladly take it. “Alright. Go back to the stand, I’m right behind you,” I say and once she leaves, I turn to Lucy again, “I’m sorry, I have to leave. It was so nice to meet you, Luc
{ Sky } When Farrow comes back to the table with a smile on his face, I relax on my seat because I know whatever is going on with Bobbie is not going to be that bad. "She's okay, she'll come back soon," he says and returns to my side, instantly stealing my spoon to take a huge bite of our cake, "I told her about the ‘spoiling her’ pact, but don't tell her I told you I told her." I roll my eyes and nod, more than used to his useless secrecy when it comes to me and Bobbie. It’s useless because me and Bobbie tell each other everything. Just like they do when they’re alone. And just like me and Farrow do when we’re alone, so I don’t know why anyone even bothers. A couple of minutes later, Bobbie comes back to the table with her head held high and I can tell she’s been crying, but I don’t say anything as she returns to her seat next to Henry and whispers something to him. But once the kids have had their dessert as well, I tell Henry to stay with Farrow as he pays so I can have
"That sounds like a solid plan. I'll live at home for another year and a half to help you with the twins, but then I'm totally moving out. Once you feel like you have it all handled on your own and no longer need me, I’m out… let's shake on it to make it official," I offer her my hand. She grabs it, sealing her fate, "You can't take it back now.” "Alright... but you're way too happy about it," she murmurs with narrowed eyes, "I got carried away last night, but that's not going to happen again, okay? Not ever." "Never, I promise," I lie with a smile on my face but I think she knows I don't mean it because she hits my stomach, smiling too. And since it doesn't look like Bobbie is going to come back anytime soon, I guess we’ll have to stay a bit longer, “Do you want dessert?“ “Yes,” she responds instantly, “Do you want to share the lava cake with me?” “Obviously, friend,” I respond with a smile. We’ve been sharing the lava cake for almost two decades, she doesn’t even have to ask
When we get our food, Bobbie looks at the triple decker longingly, but that's what she gets for being fake and dumb about food when I’m sure Henry wouldn’t think twice about what she’s eating. Still, she's happily chatting with the boy about their friends at school, homework, her being grounded and the nintendo switch the boy wants to buy. It's very boring, but still annoyingly cute. So I start to think this is the perfect moment to let Bobbie know she's about to be a big sister, because she’s in a good mood. I have no idea how she's going to react. Not too long ago, back when she was still a sweet baby girl, she was very jealous. Any time there was another kid around and we paid attention to them, she would throw tantrums. Of course, she's changed now, so she might not care. Or she might care a lot, we don't know. Still, having Henry here was a good idea, Bobbie will definitely behave herself a lot better with him around. "So, Bobbie... we have something to tell you," I
"So, when are we telling her? Before or after we eat?" I ask, face to face with Sky. I can tell she wants to wrap her legs around me like she normally would, except we're in public (and just friends, supposedly) so she stays like that, with her feet dangling on the air, and just puts her arms around my neck. She's so close to me, all I can think about is how much I want to fucking kiss her again. "I think later, I'm starving," she says and I start walking to the restaurant, "Just let me do most of the talking, yeah? And don't be rude to the boy." "I won't be. His mom is a nice lady, so I guess he can't be that bad," I murmur, making Sky move away to give me a surprised look, "That doesn't mean I suddenly like him. Just that maybe he's not that bad. Maybe." "Okay, that’s good enough," she says and just lets me carry her inside. When I walk past the bar, I see Moe there, cleaning the counters. I greet him, making Sky turn her head to him as well, "Hi, Moe!" "Hey, kids. I haven