LOGINShare
Don't Lose Yourself
Last Updated:
2023-04-15 19:28:14Related chapters
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Eye of the Storm
Ace POVI had to go to Alvarez for the first shipment which of course she had to start shit right before I was leaving. Every time my anger took over towards her, I felt disgusting. I hated myself and I hated how I was breaking the girl I loved but I didn't know how to stop.The way she begged me to forgive her, to love her. When I thought I left those marks on her something inside me shifted. I was so rough with her, fucked her hard while wrapping my hand around her already bruised neck. I even left a few bruises on her ass and she thought she deserved it. I was fucking drunk, drowning in myself pity that she wanted Ethan and I lost control. I didn't even know she was hurt or nearly died. How can I let her leave my side when she is so willing to walk right into danger?I realized the next morning that she was slowly losing herself at the idea of me turning my back on her. I wanted to be everything good to her and I was turning into everything that would destroy her. Everything Derek
Last Updated : 2023-04-15My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Where I Want to Be
Alley POVWhen we finally landed, I nearly ran out of the plane. I hated being confined in one space for so long with no option to leave. I wasn't claustrophobic, I just didn't like not being able to leave when I wanted to.The hotel was like a palace. My eyes weren't able to take in all the beauty around us. It really was unfair how the rich lived compared to the dirt poor but I wasn't letting it bring down my mood today. Christian watched me everywhere we went as I took in how much I loved all the details. Even when we were little, he would do things or knew when something was going to make me happy and he just waited and watched. He soaked up my happiness and I loved how I could be so important to someone.After analyzing every drop of this gorgeous fountain that was just randomly placed in the middle of a walkway my eyes caught his. A smile pulled at my lips, my heart rate picked up, then I lost my damn breath. This boy made my body do so many things I had no control over and it
Last Updated : 2023-04-16My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Perfect
Ace POVThe second my eyes caught hers I knew exactly what she was thinking. Elise was hanging on my shoulder boasting how generous the Blackwoods were to the right clients. I wasn't listening to anything anyone said. I was just counting the minutes until I could steal another glance at my perfect girl. I saw the anxiety and fear take over her body and I was about to race to her. She shouldn't ever have to feel hurt because of me or my father. I pushed Elise off me giving her a look that she will pay for this behavior then walked towards my angel. She pushed out the doors and raced up the hill. I watched as every step she took the light came back into her body. I couldn't help but smile when all the kids surrounded her making her laugh. They knew how perfect she was too. Then the search started and I had already spotted the golden egg. It was in the same area every year. I never once stepped outside these doors but every year it was the same schedule they followed and I found whatev
Last Updated : 2023-04-16My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Back to Reality
Alley POVI don't even remember drifting asleep but I knew it was the most peaceful sleep I ever had. I didn't want to be so naive to think there was nothing that could break us but damn did it feel like we were invincible. He was laying behind me and I could feel his naked body grinding to mine. His hands raked desperately over every curve trying to feel every inch of my skin. I wasn't sure if he was awake because he had a habit of humping me in his sleep. I thought it was strange but I loved that even lost in his dream world his body needed to feel mine."You awake baby." His deep voice made me moan. Why is he so damn sexy? He chuckled then attached his lips to my shoulder. His hand grabbed my thigh pulling it behind him to wrap around his hip and fuck I was straight in sex mode now. We can do this all the time, every day with no worry if he is ready. Last night was beyond anything I could imagine and although I was frustrated to all hell that he made me wait so long, it was perfe
Last Updated : 2023-04-16My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Why Did We Leave
Ace POVI knew this was coming and as much as I braced myself, I couldn't ever fully prepare myself. Derek tried starting a fight the second we came into view, Alley chose him over me to walk her to class, Nikki and her whores begged for my attention then Asshole picked her up spinning her around while throwing little pet names to my girl. Layla came and then fucking Derek again. My hands were in fist and I wanted to kill them all until I caught her eyes. My perfect angel perched on the ledge filled with pure happiness. I hated that I wasn't enough for her but I couldn't be the reason she lost this. I relaxed into her eyes and let everything else fade out. "Did you get Alley's ticket? I want to go shopping for a dress soon." Layla was asking Ethan and I swear my heart fucking cracked. She wasn't going with him! I don't care if it was just as friends or not. "Of course, I got my girl her ticket." Ethan pulled two out from his pocket and something inside me snapped. Derek snickered
Last Updated : 2023-04-16My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Missing You
Alley POVOh my god I totally lost my mind. I could see the worry in Christian's face and I hated that I was only going to make this day worse. Daniel stepped out of the kitchen and we both let out a long sigh."That's was too close. She should leave." Daniel spoke low looking around.Christian rubbed the back of his neck frustrated at the whole situation. Did I make things worse or better by standing up to his father?"She can't leave yet or it would seem like I'm trying to protect her. If he doesn't leave tonight then you should go to Ethan's." He started picking up the bags and books I dropped.I gave Daniel a nod because I didn't remember how to speak. My body's reaction to fear seems to be delayed. To be honest, I didn't care what happened to me in that moment. Just now with Angelo and at the warehouse with Alvarez the fact that I could have died or worse didn't fully register until after I was out of danger. I probably needed to work on that.I laid everything out to start my h
Last Updated : 2023-04-16My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Choices
Ace POVI walked in the bathroom looking around for a wash cloth. We should jump in the shower but there was no way she could stand right now. Fuck! That makes me way too happy to think of. Why did I love fucking her until she passed out? I said I was never going to take out my anger on her again but she wanted me to and loved it. Another thought that had me smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. Her body was always so sensitive to mine. The way I took her didn't matter, she always came at least three times and I could see the pure pleasure washing over her. The pleasure my body gave her. I needed to stop thinking about this or I'm going to fuck her again and this time she would be pass out before I finished. I started the bath looking for bath salts. I only had sport types for athletes with menthol so I shot a text to Daniel. Me: Do you have any good smelling stuff for chick's baths? Daniel: Considering I'm not a chick, no I don't. Please do not tell me why you want that at fou
Last Updated : 2023-04-17My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 The Truth
Alley POV"Please don't go!" Ace begged me peppering my neck and collarbone with kisses while he caged me under him on our bed."I'll be back in 36 hours and you can track me baby. I promise I'll be ok and come back to you. I have to do this with my brother.""I'll fuck you all night however you want if you stay." He teased twirling his tongue around my nipple he just exposed from my shirt. I was right to tell him I needed to leave two hours before I actually did. I knew he wasn't going to let me leave easily."Baby you'll fuck me anytime and anyway I want whether I stay or go. Going to need to up the prize.""Is that right? You think my dick is that easy?" I shot him a look to say you're joking right. I can have this boy hard with a simple look, there was no way he would ever deny me."Ok, fine. I guess when you come back, I'll have to show you how I can please my dick yet keep you wanting more." He kissed my nose then pulled us off the bed. I really didn't like how that sounded and
Last Updated : 2023-04-17
Latest chapter
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Epilogue 3 - End of Our Journey
Ace POV Seventy two. That's how many years I lived this life so far. At eighteen I thought I would be lucky to see thirty and now I've seen so much more. I wish I could say it was all good. That after Alley and I found each other again that everything was just happiness and perfection, but that wasn't life.Our first heartache was losing our daughter when she was seventeen in a car accident. Alley could barely breath for what seemed like years after we buried our child. I would relive all the horrors my father handed me over and over to never have to experience that pain. Our seven other children keep us going though. We had other's depending on us and we had to push through the heartache for them. Show them life was still worth living, despite the hole we all shared.My Nanny passed shortly after our daughter. She battled her lung disease for years and I knew she was in immense pain but she held on. Losing one of her great grandchildren I think pushed her to the end though. She told
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Epilogue 2 - Life Was Never Kind Until It Was
Nanny Fuck Face POVI looked down from my balcony from my bedroom window leaning on my cane as all my great grandchildren played in the pool outside. Today was the twin's sixteen birthday and the house was full of friends and family. For six months I stayed with Ace in hiding, waiting patiently to be able to live this life I desired for so long. After my daughter died I gave up thinking life would ever be kind to me. I felt hopeless and weak until that day I stood at Ace's graduation party and saw his undying love for Alley. They were saying goodbye but I knew she was his salvation. The light he needed to keep his soul alive and good. Then I saw my other grandson, a boy I thought that was lost to this family and was thankful for it. The Blackwoods were so deeply rooted in sin I prayed everyday my grandchildren would find a better life than my daughter or I did.I never thought it would turn out like this. I wish I could change my past but I also didn't want to change a single moment
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Epilogue 1 - Simple Life
Alley POV"Are you saying my son is a problem. I can assure you he is the least of your worries." Christian's tall muscular frame was backing up a perky little woman against a wall. I rolled my eyes with a sigh. Such a brute, especially when it came to his kids."Calm down there, Varsity dip shit." I pulled his shoulder away from the scared woman. Christian's eyes turned dark on me and I just raised my eyebrows at him. My fingers touched my necklace, one he had made for me on my sixteenth birthday but gave to me years later. He was my forever, our love and bond infinite, and he will be a good boy that listened."This woman said Darien seems distracted. She thinks he's been the one pranking the principal. I want to speak to this so called principal!" His voice softened as he spoke to me, but it still held a demand in his tone. "This woman is his teacher and is harmless. We know our son and I'm sure he has been causing some havoc. Sit and calm yourself." I pushed him down in a small cl
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Where To Go From Here
Alley POVMaybe it was the pregnancy hormones or maybe I was really hating Ace right now. So much rage was coursing through my body and I was doing everything in my power not to grab the cake next to me and smash it in that motherfucker's face."What just happened?" Greg asked. He was still playing catch up."Ace faked his death. I'm going to kill him." All the pain I felt the last six months and he was alive? He was just hiding out, lying to all of us to keep us safe. That was bullshit, he was a motherfucker."Whoa! Alley's about to go lethal." Ethan and Daniel were next to me now as I watched Ace kneeling down speaking to Darien and Derek. He did look really hot and how he played with the boys was making my body call to him. No! He pays first."He lied to us." My head shot to Daniel. He knew too."Calm down. Remember you are with child Alley." Daniel had his hands up in the air in surrender."What's happening? I love when Alley goes psycho!" Elise said way too happy at my anger. Lyd
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Finding Happiness
Alley POVSix months later:It has been a hard few months, but Greg was right, I did find happiness again. Losing Ace was just as hard, if not harder, than losing my brother and I would never get over losing either one of them.Daniel and his partner Rowan survived the explosion, but had some scars on their face and arms. I was beyond thankful they made it out alive and thought they just looked more bad ass now. Today Greg, Lydia, Darien, Derek, and myself were driving up to Daniel's summer home in Rhode Island to celebrate his engagement to Elise and his official promotion. Ethan and Layla had the baby girls in tow behind us and I looked back to them in my rear view mirror with a smile. For some reason, I was really, really excited about this weekend trip. We hadn't all spent time together in months and I wanted to be surround by my family for the whole weekend. Daniel already promised a big fire pit out back just for me, it was of course for everyone, but he knew how much I like s
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Waiting
Alley POVIt took Ethan a long time to calm me down and get me on a plane back home. I didn't want to leave without Christian, but Darien was waiting for me at home. I wish I could say it was easier to walk away for my son. I would always choose Darien above Christian, but it didn't mean it made my decision to leave any less harder.I cried in Ethan's chest the whole plane ride home, swearing I would never step foot on one of these again. The second I did get home Darien and Derek were there welcoming me with tears. That did make my sadness a little more bearable. I loved this family so much and I just didn't understand why I couldn't have Christian too. That night Greg stayed with me and we watched movies well past the moon rising. He knew I wasn't sleeping anytime soon and Ethan needed to be with his wife. Layla was doing much better, but she still had her own stuff going on.We didn't speak much and I appreciated how Greg was relentless with the way he cared for me. It reminded m
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Then It All Went Wrong
Daniel POVI paced the hallway outside Ace's hospital bed losing my mind. The switch was supposed to take place already and now I was losing my window. On top of that, once they arrested my boss IA moved in our department. Within a few hours I was assigned as the temporary head of the criminal organization task force and had one sorry ass fucker with a stick up his ass questioning my every move."So, you've worked undercover for seven years with this," a studious prick with four inch thick glasses looked over his paperwork, "ah, Christian Ace Blackwood?""Yes! We discussed this two hours ago. It's not that hard of name to remember either.""I see, yes. I'm just curious if maybe you've been too deep undercover. Seven years is a long time and you seem to have an unhealthy relationship with this murder." The IA agent looked in Ace's room with disgust. He was a murder, but they didn't know his story. He didn't kill randomly and never hurt someone innocent. I can't explain that in any ra
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 Last Chance for Redemption
Daniel POV"It's time." I called into Rowan to move in on the people at Déjà vu. "You got everything on our boss we needed." I could hear his amusement over the call. We've been working to take our boss down for over seven years and this was our moment."Every last fucking word." I smiled and hung up.Once I heard about Angelo taking Alley, again, and how Ace was calling a meeting, which included Dmitri I knew how to get my boss. His filth went as deep as you would line his pockets. I feed him the bait that Angelo was desperate and he contacted him to make a deal.Before Ace's little meeting my boss meet Angelo to workout a plan to remove Ace permanently, for a hefty payment of course. Angelo paid him more money then he owned and I got it all on video including the wire transfer.My men moved in already knowing I was running this operation. I saw my boss standing behind Ace with his gun to his head and I knew I had to remove him quickly. He would kill Ace just for the high of taking
My Devil’s Side: Book 1 & 2 What Matters
Ace POVI stood in front of my wall length mirror adjusting my tie. I haven't looked myself in the eye in a week and I wasn't sure if I liked the man staring back at me. I had my black suit on, black tie, and white shirt. Tonight was about ending as much of the bullshit as possible so I kept it simple. My jet black hair was still a little wet and slicked off to the side. The best feature of my whole body were these eyes and that was because they didn't belong to him. Well one other part of my body but he wasn't getting any attention tonight. I used to see my father in the mirror and fucking hated it more than anything. Despite knowing I was a good looking man I would give anything to change my appearance. To look less like that monster that raised me. Now I say that little boy. A smile tugged at my lips seeing his little face with so much power in it. He was a confident little shit and would grow up to be a man that did what he wanted. No one would keep him back, build him up just
