Upon hearing Joshua's question, Emanuele feels her body lean forward, almost as if the "yes" is already implied. But her mind wanders long before she finally manages to answer: "H-how are you going to do this?" A slightly arrogant smile draws itself on his thick lips. "Don't underestimate my talents." My goodness. The girl stares for seconds at his mouth, so close they could kiss at any second. What would it be like to feel pleasure without losing your virginity? Was there a way to do that? She swallows her shame and asks once more: "But... I'm serious. How are you going to do this?" Joshua raises one of his eyebrows. "No one has ever touched you? Have you... Never touched yourself?" "No." They are silent for a few seconds. Joshua thinks that's funny, but he doesn't laugh. Not least because that could send a completely wrong message to her. The man slides his hands to her waist, holding her firmly. Then he faces her and says very slowly: "I am going to stimulate you, your
When Emanuele woke up, Joshua was no longer in bed. Startled, the girl looked at the clock on the wall, wondering how long she had been out. Then she realized that she had been there for twenty minutes.Slowly, the redhead raised her torso, sitting up. She was still only in her panties.Part of her brain still could not discern what was true and what was not. Had she imagined all this? The subtle tremors that still ran through her fingers and toes, as well as the small hint of a shiver down her back, were proof that yes, it was real.Emanuele stood, testing the firmness of her own legs, and got dressed. Why had Joshua left the room? It seemed a bit rude. Or was that usually the way things happened, and she wasn't used to it?As she was about to leave the room, the man opened the door. He was carrying two mugs, one in each hand."Hey, Sleeping Beauty."The girl blushed with embarrassment."Oh, hi.""Hi. Here. I thought you might be in need."She takes a sip of the cold drink, but can
The redhead says nothing, but feels her heart racing. Although he doesn't name names, Emanuele knows he is talking about the family member, the man who tormented him so much that the after-effects were still present more than forty years later. And as if that were not enough, this man would take longer to die than expected.Not that she believed that with the death of Joshua's abuser, he would get better or overcome his internal adversities. That healing was personal, and if he didn't make an effort, it would be a vain struggle. To depend on external factors to get rid of that pain was useless and even dangerous.Joshua is trembling. Anger? Fear? Emanuele says:"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.He looks at her with such intensity that it almost hurts."I have to."The man simply gets up and props himself up on the bed. Soon after, he lies down under the fluffy pillows and places Emanuele beside him. The two of them are looking up at the ceiling and smelling each o
Two weeks have passed since then. Sitting in the town square, Thabata holds a questionable bottle of an equally questionable drink. The girl takes a sip and then looks away. Joshua really had kicked her out of his life as if she were little less than trash. And even worse, to trade her for the sewer trash that was that new tenant. She couldn't understand how that sassy, boyfriend-stealing cow had managed to gain everyone's friendship so quickly. Amanda and Amora kicked her out of the party, simply throwing away any and all consideration they might have had for the last few years of friendship. And that dead fly of Johnny's was a key part of the tragedy. Everything was going wrong, and it was all the bumpkin's fault. Staggering, the girl stood up. None of the five assholes wanted to talk to her or even hear what she had to say. They just said that "that conduct was unacceptable," and some variant of "you are a bad person." No, she was not bad. The real wretch disguised in sheep's c
Two paramedics were looking down on her, with their white uniforms and medical instruments she didn't know the names of. Frowning, it took Emanuele a while to figure out where she was. The first thing she noticed besides the strangers examining her was that she was lying on a stretcher. The second thing was that she was no longer on the street, surrounded by curious people, buses, trees, and birds. The third thing was that her nose hurt like it was broken. And it probably was. The rest of my body hurt too. It felt like a truck had run over her several times. Her lungs were burning when she breathed, and her throat wasn't so good either. My God, she really wasn't born for this. Still trying to reorganize her thoughts and wondering where she was, the girl saw that next to her a handsome and concerned young man was holding her hand. He was answering the questions the doctors were asking, but she couldn't understand them. Maybe she needed some stronger medication. Maybe they were for
Emanuele knows that she doesn't deserve Johnny's forgiveness or understanding. If they were in opposite places now, she herself would hardly be so generous. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she really was doomed to be a crawling worm upon the earth, causing a succession of misfortunes along the way and hurting those who wanted her well.While the doctor examined her broken nose and prescribed a series of ointments and medicines, the girl could only stare at the boy. After she told him about her kiss with Joshua, Johnny let go of her hand and moved away to a corner of the room. He didn't avert his eyes from her, but he didn't seem at all receptive either.Thabata might be a disgrace, but Emanuele herself was not far behind. At least that was how she felt.When the doctor finally finished his consultation, the girl decided to ask, more to confirm the information than anything else:"Can you send the bill to Emanuele River?""The bill goes to me." Johnny mutters. The doctor looks at t
Johnny gently wipes another layer of ointment over Emanuele's bruised skin. The girl shivers slightly when the boy's fingertips touch her wounds. He apologizes and tries to soften the impact of the contact, but there is not much he can do. The cuts will hurt for at least a few days before they close, and compared to the pain of the broken nose, that was nothing.As the girl was about to begin her account of her life, the thoughtful young man interrupted her and decided that she had better take her medication, including the ointment. Now, for example, the former bride swallowed a painkiller.After the whole procedure was over, the girl closed her eyes and lay back down next to Johnny. It was the first time she would tell all, at least briefly, about what it was like to live with the monster she once called her mother.Emanuele begins by talking about her father. She had never met him, but she knew that he was still alive somewhere. This conclusion was the result of a little research on
And in fact, they did not spend that night at Johnny's parents' house.Emanuele was grateful for many of the wonderful things that were happening in her life, despite everything. One of them was the true friendship that she was slowly building with Gustavo, Andrew, Amanda and Amora. Even the twins were really excited to see her and Johnny as an official couple.After all, the two had agreed to give up the party house that the two had, the same house where the meeting took place, so that they could spend a quiet night. Emanuele sent a text message telling Joshua that she would not be returning to the apartment that night, and that he need not worry. Alexandra's brother replied with a basic "okay".Inside the car, Johnny held Emanuele's hand gently and firmly, as he had done a few hours ago when they were leaving the hospital. In his other hand was a small backpack with what he called provisions. The girl decided not to ask any questions.Seeing the number of buildings and lights dimin
. . . . . . . . FIVE MONTHS LATER . . . . . .Emanuele looked at herself in the huge full-length mirror. The girl hardly knew where to look, which detail to care about first.She didn't know whether to look at the beautiful hairstyle in her now dark brown hair; her natural color.She didn't know whether to look at the impeccable makeup on her face, which made her even more beautiful and radiant than she was feeling.And I also didn't know whether to look at the beautiful white dress, simply cut, adorned with small mother-of-pearl beads. Despite the simplicity of the outfit, it was undeniable to say that the bride looked divine that day.Smiling, she turned around in front of her own reflection. Her heart was pounding with happiness, and she felt the stars in the night sky outside wishing her good luck. The curtain behind the door opened. A short, pudgy girl smiled sympathetically as she entered the room, openly admiring her."Miss Parker, you look beautiful!"Emanuele smiled."Thank
The old man falls to his knees at the same instant. Emanuele runs to him and hugs him tight, but Joseph does not respond. Instead, he seems to be doing his best not to scream as loud as he can."Dad!" The girl says."Adriele died? I had two daughters, and one of them died? Is that it?! Is that what you are telling me?!'Emanuele tries to hold back her sobs, but she can't. Instead, she says:"Yes, Dad. I'm really, really sorry. It all happened so fast! I lost my mother, my sister, and now... Now you are all I have left. You are literally all I have as family!"Joseph can't say anything for a while, only cry. The two of them are shaking very hard. Sarah, when alive, said that Morgan couldn't get the proper reaction, that he was too broken inside. But now he seemed quite emotional. I wonder what had happened.The smell of her father, enveloping Emanuele's nostrils, is soothing and familiar. In a snap, she remembers that the same scent enveloped her when she was in the arms of death, tra
Convincing Crimson to enter the police database to find her father's address was not that difficult.In fact, Emanuele was quite surprised when she had to use only one of the six rehearsed arguments. The old man shrugged and said that at that point it was no longer worth trying to pretend not to act unofficially from time to time.What really took a lot of lip from the redhead was convincing Joshua not to go with her. The girl knew that he only wanted to protect her, but Emanuele was very assertive in her arguments. She needed to do this alone, face that part of her past, and see if there was any possibility of fixing it in her future.Sarah had said that he was in a depressive spiral, and that when he saw her he could not react properly, and that it hurt her.Emanuele then prepared herself emotionally. She would not be disappointed or resentful if, by some chance, the man who at one time taught her a beautiful lullaby did not remember her... or was not touched by the moment.The youn
For a few seconds, all Emanuele can do is stare at Joshua. The two of them are still naked, and the distance between their bodies is as minimal as possible. "What?" she asks, softly. I wonder if she had heard right. Had her emotions stunned her enough for her to hear such a request?He gives a quiet laugh, then opens a confident, sentimental smile."Will you marry me?"The girl immediately sits up, leaning against the headboard of the bed. She covers her own nakedness with the blanket, still looking at the man, who also sits down."I..."Several things go through her head.The first was that no, she could not get married. Not in that life and not ever. All the misfortunes that had happened to her, all the horrible and unfortunately scarring traumas that were etched into her skin; all that made marriage itself a terrible idea.According to the books that the young woman read, especially during her teenage years, marriage was the union of two people. Total commitment to each other, com
As soon as he closes the door, Joshua gives warm, soft kisses on the sensitive skin of Emanuele's neck. The man sighs, almost intoxicated with passion, and murmurs:"I love the way you smell."With all the delicacy and romance in the world, Joshua props the redhead's torso on the bed, leaving her legs and feet touching the floor. He caresses her over her clothes. Emanuele moans."The last time we were together like this, I gave only a demonstration of what might come next. Remember?"He stimulates her further with the tip of his thumb, in subtle, gentle circular motions. "Those were the words of a man overcome with desire, and even lust, if I am willing to admit it. Today I may again have those feelings in my body, but... there is a difference. Now I am sure that I love you."Still with his thumb on Emanuele's clit, Joshua kisses her eagerly; the movement of his tongue is smooth and warm. Murmurs come out of her throat, as if the teacher is delighting in that moment.Emanuele's hands
The winter dawn is cold.A month has passed since Emanuele saw her sister die. One month, and even then, the memory was still latent and terrible.The girl had already been to therapy, but the nightmares continued to torment her. Joshua didn't know what to do anymore, since every night at two o'clock in the morning the girl's terrified screams woke him up.The teacher got out of his own bed in the dim light. The clock on his cell phone said it was one hour and fifty minutes, that is, ten minutes before the nightmares began.Standing up, taking care not to make any excessive noise, Joshua opened the door to his room, going towards Emanuele's door.But the door was open.Frowning, the man approaches the room. Her bed is empty.Still not making hasty decisions, Joshua goes to the living room, equally empty. His heart only slows down when he sees the girl sitting at the table, drinking a glass of water. She watches him without saying anything, then goes back to sipping the liquid.Slowly
Joshua immediately embraces Emanuele as soon as she, still very tearful and emotional, leaves the room where Sarah is being held. She clings to the man's clothes, sobbing terribly. Her eyes are swollen and red. "I am here," he murmurs. "I'm right here, my love." The girl can barely respond or say anything. A man wearing religious robes appears. He is middle-aged and wears thick-rimmed glasses. In his hand is a Bible. The man's voice is patient and docile, and he uses all his politeness as he approaches Emanuele. "May God's infinite mercy soothe your heart, child. I am so sorry for your loss." Apparently, the priest was already very well informed of the situation. The girl does not respond, only sinks even deeper into the chest of Joshua, who makes no mention of letting go. The policeman in charge of Sarah's surveillance accompanies the religious man. That was the protocol. Before being formally executed, Sarah would have the right to console herself and at least try to ensure a se
The next day dawned gray, cold and absolutely silent.Of course, cars were still passing by, people were leaving their homes to go to work, and children were going to school. But the noise present, that typical sound that Emanuele's ears were used to, could not penetrate the enormous bubble of silence that surrounded her.The call from the delegate the day before was an answer she had been begging to receive, but now that she knew that her sister's last wish was to see her, an unbearable weight had taken over her heart. Sarah was going to die. And all they had together were brief, monitored, timed conversations.Emanuele looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a black overcoat and pants of the same color, as well as dark boots. Her dyed red hair was tied up in a tight bun, and no matter how hard she tried to disguise her swollen face, red from crying with makeup, it was still obvious to anyone paying a little more attention. Joshua appeared in the doorway, wearing dark soci
Emanuele could neither sleep nor eat properly in the days that followed.All the girl could do, and at the massive insistence of Joshua who took care of her whenever he could, was to take a few naps and, very begrudgingly, put food in her stomach. He always tried to be as close as possible, even though he needed to work.With the insurance money, Joshua was able to recover almost nothing from the old apartment, so he opted to buy new furniture and decorate Alexandra's apartment, or rather his apartment. Doing this, however, seemed pointless and even disrespectful, since the present moment was one of mourning, not of celebration.When the man apologized for his attitude, Emanuele just shrugged and continued to stare at some fixed point on the wall.They did not sleep together. Each stayed in his own room most of the time. Joshua tried to get close to her physically, but he was content to give her a respectful cuddle and caress to comfort her. It was not the time for them to get close l