Present TimeAthenaThe silence of my apartment forced me to drown in the same awful memories again and again. The sight of Sebastian today, had awakened all my nightmares, freshened all my wounds and put me in the same spot I'd found myself six months ago.Guilt began crawling up my insides, like venomous spiders it surrounded me, some even went up and down my throat. I fought hard to not let a word leave my mouth. I did not want to cry because that only made me feel weak. I did not want the grief to touch me or even brush past me, cause no matter how much I grieved, the pain would never end.One question repeatedly rang inside my head— Why is he here?The thought of his sudden appearance not being a coincidence dragged me into an emotional upheaval where suspicion wouldn't let me stay still even for a mere second. My restlessness was killing me from within, it was eradicating my sanity, and it made me question my dignity every time a surreal emotion passed through me at the thought
AthenaThere had been times when distractions became my saviour, when work helped me forget for the sake of my peace and small affirmations to myself helped me calm my racing heart down but today nothing helped.Even as I finished tons and tons of chores, more than what I was supposed to do, from neatly cleaning my entire apartment, to placing even a small pencil in its place, and now at the bakery, doing more work than I had in my duty, nothing gave a hand to reducing my anxiousness I tried to keep hidden but perhaps, partly succeeded."What happened sweetcakes?" Shelly asked, surely not mistaking the worry written all over my face for something else."Oh, nothing. I am just a bit tired." I blurted out without thinking anything at all."What? Then why are you here, Athena? You should have stayed at home and taken a rest," She instantly spoke and her face showed concern, "But here you are, working double the number of your usual duties.""I will be fine, Shelly. Don't worry." I flashe
Athena"Hello, I am here to deliver this order for room 237," I told the receptionist, showing her the card for our bakery."Can I get the name?""Uhm..."After quite an amount of struggle, I fetched the paper from my jeans pockets and looked at the info, "Oh, it's for Miss...Cora.""Give me a second," She checked the entries, "Sorry, but there's no entry in the name of Miss Cora. Room number 237 is booked for Mr Val--""Could you please check with the guest if someone else they know has ordered this for them? The location given to us was this one and we received the order around 2.00 PM. The payment has already been made," I requested, "It'd be unfortunate if we can't deliver this order.""Sure, I can do that for you."She soon dialled the number and called the individual staying in the room, "Hello, Sir. Sorry to bother you, but we have got a small issue over here. It appears that someone named 'Cora, has placed an order for you," She spoke, "Would mind confirming if you are aware of
SebastianAs I watched her leave, my heart sank, far deeper than it ever had because I fucking knew how she saw the situation. After a whole half a year of fighting the world alone and dealing with the grief, and darkness by herself, the last thing she had expected was for me to show up in her life, all of a sudden and for my presence to threaten her walls again. It was evident. She hadn't seen it happen anytime soon.And even if she had, of course, it was more than just obvious that she hadn't expected me to be with another woman.But I was not. Cora was not my girlfriend.Flashback"You know, instead of cutting a stupid piece of cake I'd prefer you to leave me alone and go back," I let out, reclining against the chair and pinching the middle of my forehead."You know, instead of trying to send me back, you can celebrate with me," As always, her response was quick, "It's been four months of your therapies and I am glad you are recovering, and it's a good thing. Why can't you just b
AthenaTill I reached home, my eyes were weighed down. Red, swollen, and full of tears. I did not know why I was getting so affected by the fact that Sebastian had found someone to move on with his life when I thought I didn't have any hopes remaining in my heart. Or maybe I was wrong.Maybe I did have hopes. In a cruel way that ended up hurting me.Maybe I'd thought that he was true to his words that the day I had left. My poor heart, in the hopes of being loved, deep down believed that he was truly guilty for everything he did and put us through.Not that his guilt would have made anything better or turned the tables. But, it was easier to live with the knowledge that your mate, the culprit who left no scope to hurt you in the deep urge to destroy you, was at least aware of what he had done and in comparison to the pain I was carrying over my shoulders, it was the least on his part to at least carry, perhaps, just a bit of remorse?I wondered if he even remembered about our child w
AthenaIn the midst of everything she had destroyed with her own hands, with her tears pouring freely and proceeding to slide down her cheeks, her screams sounding louder than the waves of the sea, her eyes red and her soul having more pieces than the things she'd broken in the hopes of buying herself a reason to feel less devastated than she was, sat a woman— A broken woman with scars that'd take years to count. A woman who had once dreamt of being loved. A woman who had once imagined a life with her child after her mate who never wished to keep her in his one.And that woman was me. I was that ill-fated woman.Why couldn't he just love me?— This question would never stop asking me to be answered.Why did I had to lose my baby?— This question would always keep hurting me.Why hadn't I put myself first?— This question would allow me the guts to forgive myself.I had never known before meeting Sebastian that love can be so lethal. But, thanks to him, he made it possible. I owed him for
CoraI couldn't just leave this boy all on his own and alone, so after much consideration and evaluating the given chances of his supposed conversation with Athena ending up in an adverse way, I decided to stay. Cause I knew Sebastian would not be able to handle it. He was incapable of even thinking straight.He was guilt-ridden to the point where hurting himself seemed like the only way he could make up for his mistakes— A sick recompense he thought was the only way to his salvation. I'd been treating him for months, and this period was enough to let me know how worse his condition was getting each day and the only way to give him hope was to tell him that he was recovering, to try to introduce him to new ways of happiness and peace.But, No. Nothing had helped and would perhaps never. His whole life only circled Athena. Her name alone shattered him into small pieces, every day.The mistakes he had made in the past were still suppressing him deep in the darkness, no matter how much a
AthenaThe bakery closed and I headed home even though that was somewhat the last thing I wanted to do. One of the many reasons behind my reluctance to go back to the apartment was that it was still a mess. Neither I’d recovered from last night’s conversation with Sebastian nor did I know if I was going to anytime soon.Indeed I liked to keep myself busy to distract my mind from diving into the same dark corner of my memories again and again but the silence of the place where I stayed, was too unnerving to help me with that. So, what I had destroyed stayed destroyed and scattered all over the floor, just like the connection between me and Sebastian; The only exception remained the fact, I destroyed mere objects and he destroyed three lives. One that never got the chance to step into this world.Releasing a small sigh, I rubbed my palms together, regretting my decision of not bringing a sweater, or at least, a shawl with me. The weather was weird, I hadn’t expected the temperature to d