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Regret
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Steve pov:
"One day, when you feel weak and someone hurts you, you will understand my pain." His words keep echoing in my head.
I messed up big time. I did something I shouldn't have done and now I regret it deeply. Anger always gets the best of me and I acted on it without thinking. Steve was right, I was being selfish and I didn't even realize it at the time. I took down the video, but it was too late. People had already saved it and shared it in different groups. It went viral in our school and I am to blame.
I feel so stupid and ashamed of myself. I know I have to make things right. I need to apologize to him and try to get everyone to delete that video, even if it means admitting that I am in it too. I messed up big time and I am going to make it up to him, no matter what it takes.
...
I headed downstairs after my mother called me urgently. I could sense the worry on her face as soon as I reached her.
"What's wrong, mom? Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.
"No, something terrible has happened. It's Jeremy...he's been in an accident and he's in the hospital," she choked out, tears streaming down her face.
My heart sank as I tried to process the news.
I can't let him go now, I have finally realized my mistakes and I need to make it up to him. My hands were shaking and I felt tears streaming down my face. I didn't even realize I was crying until I touched my face.
"What spell have you cast on me, Baby boy?" I muttered under my breath.
"Mum, I need to go to the hospital," I finally said, wiping away my tears.
"I want to come with you," my mother replied, concern etched on her face.
"No, your health isn't good enough. If it's an emergency, I'll take you. Don't worry, I'll call you as soon as I can," I reassured her, trying to hold back my own fears and anxieties.
I dashed out of my house and hopped into my car, speeding towards the hospital. I may have made mistakes in the past, but I was determined to make things right. Jeremy had to live to see me change, no matter what.
When I reached the hospital, I marched up to the reception desk.
"Where is Jeremy Bernard? Tell me now!" I demanded.
The receptionist looked frightened, but I didn't care. I had to see him.
"Second floor, room number 133," she stammered.
I didn't have time for pleasantries. I raced towards the stairs, taking them two at a time.
When I finally reached the room, I stood there for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm myself.
I saw Jeremy lying on the bed, his face pale and some pipes attached to him. He looked so frail and weak; it broke my heart.
I slowly approached him, my hand reaching out to touch his face.
"Please don't leave me, Jer," I whispered, tears streaming down my face.
"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I'm scared. I need you."
Suddenly, Jeremy whispered, "Can you stop shouting?" I looked at him, relieved to see his eyes open.
I heaved a sigh of relief and hugged him tightly, tears streaming down my face.
"I was so scared. I thought I had lost you," I said, choking with emotion.
"I can't breathe," he said.
"I'm sorry," I said as I let him go.
I moved away and took a seat beside him, but his blank expression made me feel uneasy.
"Why are you here? Did Mrs. Hamilton send you to check on me?" he asked without emotion.
"No, I came because I was worried about you," I countered with a hint of frustration in my voice.
"Stop acting. Your parents aren't here, so quit pretending," he said dismissively.
"Hey, I'm not pretending. I was really worried about you. Can't you speak to me nicely for once? I rushed here as soon as I could," I said firmly.
As he slowly got up to sit, I tried to help him, but he pushed my hand away, looking at me with anger.
"You were the one who put me in this situation, and now you're worried about me? What kind of person do you take me for? Oliver was right about you all along. You don't deserve love. I held onto hope that you might change, but you're too selfish and egotistical to change. People like you never care about anyone else, even if they die. Today, I've lost all hope that you could ever change. I don't even want to see your face, as it makes me feel disgusted. I remember the mistake I made earlier today when I trusted you," he said.
"It was a mistake?" I asked.
"Yes, it was a mistake," he replied.
My heart broke as he spoke those words. The time I spent with him was so special, but I ruined it because of my anger. Now he thinks it's a mistake. My heart felt tight. What is this feeling? I feel new.
"I'm sorry, Jeremy. I hurt you so much because of my anger, but I've changed now. I want to make it up to you. I'll do anything to make you believe that," I said.
"That's the problem with you, Steve. You want people to believe you've changed, but why don't you act like it? You don't understand how much you've hurt me. Not just me, but everyone around you, and nothing can change that," he said.
"Why don't you care about my feelings? I've never apologized to anyone before, but I did to you. At least listen to me. I'm being sincere for the first time in my life," I shouted in pain.
He laughed, making my heart hurt even more.
"You feel bad because I'm not caring about your apology?" he asked.
"Yes, at least listen to people," I said.
"I did. I listened to you all the time. I've been hurt by you, and even though I had hope that you would change, you never did. Why should I listen to you now?" he said.
He's right. I don't deserve his time or anything from him.
"I want to make it up to you," I said earnestly.
"What do you want to make up for?" he retorted, his voice rising in anger. "For hurting me? For hurting me everyday? For showing my nude video to everyone ? For almost killing me today? Tell me, what exactly do you want to make up for?"
"Please, can you stop making me feel bad?" I pleaded, my voice laced with frustration and sadness.
"I already feel like shit." My words hung in the air, heavy with emotion.
"I know exactly how you feel," replied Jeremy, his eyes brimming with tears.
"I felt like shit every fucking single day because I loved you, Steve,"
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