The phone rang just as I came out the shower. I’d been in there for much longer than was necessary, thinking about the way my life had changed so drastically in only a few short weeks. It seems impossible, and I still find myself having these moments where I want to pinch myself to make sure that it’s real.In that space of time, I’d gone from wishing for death to wanting to live more than anything. From living in the worst kind of hell imaginable to being the happiest I’ve ever been in my existence. The only thing plaguing me now was how easy it had been for me to lose everything the last time and worrying about how not to let it happen again.I doubt I’d be such an ass twice, but I hadn’t expected things to go south the last time either, and that’s what’s worrying the hell out of me. How blind I was to the people and situations around me. Drugs had played a part in it, sure, but I won’t use that as an excuse for the mess I’d made of our lives.I wasn’t in any hurry to answer the phon
“Where are we going?” She whispered the question as we were being driven through the quiet early morning New York streets by the two very stoic men up front.“I have no idea; they didn’t say. Are you nervous?” She turned to look out the tinted window while keeping her hold on my arm, where she had hers wrapped around my elbow.“Not really. Isn’t that strange?”“I know what you mean. I was thinking the same thing earlier.” I don’t feel this at ease around men I hire myself and have known for years.“Have you noticed, though, how quiet the street was when we left the apartment?”“It’s early.”“Yeah, but this is New York; there’s always someone outside, no matter how late or how early it is. I don’t think there was even a pigeon on the sidewalk.”I’d noticed that, too, and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to spook her, but I was pretty sure the two men up front had something to do with that. I wouldn’t be surprised because all of Lyon’s men seem to have some sort of tactical trai
I should’ve seen it coming, but even I didn’t think she was this stupid. Janie flew up from the chair in a rage and went after Elena, talons bared and teeth gnashing like something out of the wild. And before I or either Jared or Travis could reach them, Elena swung and knocked her down with a punch to the face. The screeching was almost unbearable in the empty room as it bounced off the walls like an echo.Elena, my little angel who I believe has never hurt a fly, stood over her and pulled her hair back hard with her hand raised, ready to wail on her again, but then she suddenly stopped and jumped away from Janie as if she’d been prodded by something. Unfair as it was, I was about to let Janie have it for whatever it was she had done to hurt her, but then Elena spoke, and it was the horror in her voice that had me stepping forward to take a closer look.“What the hell? What happened to your face?” I almost laughed at Elena’s question, thinking she was being facetious since she was the
What in the world is going on? Am I having an episode, or is this really happening right now? Things seem to be moving very fast one moment, only to slow way down the next, and everything is all out of place. My head was still spinning from my earlier rush of anger, and I could tell that any second now, I was going to lose my breath or have a total meltdown.Ryder looked just as confused as I was, and the hand that I’d used to slug her with stung as he held it gripped tightly in his. There was way too much to unpack here, not least of all the things Janie had revealed in the video we’d all just watched.My chest felt tight as I fought the urge to attack her again, but I knew as much anger as I felt, she was not the only one to blame here. I could lay it all at her feet for sure since she was the idiot who couldn’t take no for an answer. But I have to ask myself, had it not been her, would they have found someone else? From what I see, they would’ve used anyone to serve their purpose; s
“We’ve got sound.”“What, they let you back on the island?”“They don’t know we’re back in.”“I’m pretty sure Russo had a hand in this.”“You would be right; only he could pull off something like this. That’s why we need him on our side.”Another ingrate. “You still haven’t told me how you found every one of us.”“Well, I was doing your job.”“I’m not looking for fuck.”“You found Lorde.”“He found me.”“If you say so.”“I’m not in the mood for your hoodoo bullshit.”“It’s the law of attraction, Lyon; they’re all coming home. Don’t you find it strange that the kids in Cali all found each other without knowing about their ancestral past? We should talk to Catalina about this; I’d love to hear her take on it.”“You talk to her. I ain’t saying shit to that kid.”“You’re just salty because she’s your carbon copy but in a cuter package.”“Kiss my ass. By the way, if she has those lions on that island, I’ll leave the whole lot of you there to get eaten, dumb ass.”“They were taken back to wh
“Do you want to call out today? Tell them you’re not feeling well?”“No, I can’t do that to the others, they have lives too, you know, and they didn’t sign up for my personal drama. I’ll be fine, Ryder, don’t worry about me.” I had to say those words because what else was I going to say? But deep inside, I was a mess and trying very hard to hold onto my sanity.I find myself caught up in a melee of troubling thoughts that don’t sit well with me, and there was no time to think it all through because I had to go to work and be my best in front of the cameras, not giving away any of what I was feeling. It's enough to make me throw up.If it were up to me, I’d go back to bed and pull the covers over my head until it all passed, but I don’t have that option. I thought I would be happy to see my enemy brought low. I’d imagined it a million times over the years, every time I hurt, each time I thought of him with her. I’m only human, after all, and someone else was married and living with the
In moments of clarity, I kept telling myself I could bounce back from this, that things were not as final as they seemed, and then my head would become filled with all the ways I’d been wronged, and I’d get so mad I could throw up. All the way back to my childhood home with the two strange men upfront, silent as the dead, ignoring my questions, all I wanted to do was scream.One moment, I felt hopeful and ready to fight for what was mine, and the next, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open. I knew it was partly because of the long drive the night before and partly the drugs messing with me, and still, I couldn’t help taking a couple more just to numb the pain.All I could think about was how hard things were going to be, how people were going to laugh at me, how low I had fallen. No matter how much I told myself to think positively and not give up, those were the only thoughts that seemed to want to hang around, and so they lingered.It wasn’t long before the pills started to d
“You’ve got the wrong guy. Don’t you people know who I am? Hey, I’m talking to you; answer me, dammit.” They ignored me again like they had the last ten times I said the same. I’ve been repeating that refrain or some variation of it since they threw me back here with cuffs on and no regard for my comfort. At first, I tried telling myself that it was because of my disheveled appearance that they didn’t recognize me, but then I remembered that they’d called me by name in the alley, and that line of thought went nowhere, but only worked to heighten my fear and desperation.I was trying hard not to shit myself while worrying about the cameras that were bound to meet us as soon as we reached the station. “Hey guys, give me a break here; you know I’m not good for this; you should be out there looking for the real killer. At least let me get cleaned up before you take me in. I can’t let my fans see me like this.” Nothing, it was as if I wasn’t even there.I haven’t even had time to digest th
I saw it as soon as I saw her walking towards the car. Even from this distance, her eyes gave it away. It’s amazing that after all that time apart, I can still read her so well. I knew from the looks of things that she’d spent the day worrying about someone who didn’t deserve it; in fact, I knew it would be like this even before I left her because that’s just who she is, and still, I’d let her go to work like that. I have to do better than this. This was one of my many failings from before, not protecting her even from herself. She’s so brilliant in everything else, always knowing the right thing to say or do, that it was never really needed, except when it came to herself. For everyone else, she’s a champion of causes, the one you want next to you in a fight. As long as the fight is for someone else.I’d seen it, time and again, the way she’d put herself last to take care of others and had taken advantage of that fact a time or two myself. Something I am now grievously ashamed of. Of
“You’ve got the wrong guy. Don’t you people know who I am? Hey, I’m talking to you; answer me, dammit.” They ignored me again like they had the last ten times I said the same. I’ve been repeating that refrain or some variation of it since they threw me back here with cuffs on and no regard for my comfort. At first, I tried telling myself that it was because of my disheveled appearance that they didn’t recognize me, but then I remembered that they’d called me by name in the alley, and that line of thought went nowhere, but only worked to heighten my fear and desperation.I was trying hard not to shit myself while worrying about the cameras that were bound to meet us as soon as we reached the station. “Hey guys, give me a break here; you know I’m not good for this; you should be out there looking for the real killer. At least let me get cleaned up before you take me in. I can’t let my fans see me like this.” Nothing, it was as if I wasn’t even there.I haven’t even had time to digest th
In moments of clarity, I kept telling myself I could bounce back from this, that things were not as final as they seemed, and then my head would become filled with all the ways I’d been wronged, and I’d get so mad I could throw up. All the way back to my childhood home with the two strange men upfront, silent as the dead, ignoring my questions, all I wanted to do was scream.One moment, I felt hopeful and ready to fight for what was mine, and the next, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open. I knew it was partly because of the long drive the night before and partly the drugs messing with me, and still, I couldn’t help taking a couple more just to numb the pain.All I could think about was how hard things were going to be, how people were going to laugh at me, how low I had fallen. No matter how much I told myself to think positively and not give up, those were the only thoughts that seemed to want to hang around, and so they lingered.It wasn’t long before the pills started to d
“Do you want to call out today? Tell them you’re not feeling well?”“No, I can’t do that to the others, they have lives too, you know, and they didn’t sign up for my personal drama. I’ll be fine, Ryder, don’t worry about me.” I had to say those words because what else was I going to say? But deep inside, I was a mess and trying very hard to hold onto my sanity.I find myself caught up in a melee of troubling thoughts that don’t sit well with me, and there was no time to think it all through because I had to go to work and be my best in front of the cameras, not giving away any of what I was feeling. It's enough to make me throw up.If it were up to me, I’d go back to bed and pull the covers over my head until it all passed, but I don’t have that option. I thought I would be happy to see my enemy brought low. I’d imagined it a million times over the years, every time I hurt, each time I thought of him with her. I’m only human, after all, and someone else was married and living with the
“We’ve got sound.”“What, they let you back on the island?”“They don’t know we’re back in.”“I’m pretty sure Russo had a hand in this.”“You would be right; only he could pull off something like this. That’s why we need him on our side.”Another ingrate. “You still haven’t told me how you found every one of us.”“Well, I was doing your job.”“I’m not looking for fuck.”“You found Lorde.”“He found me.”“If you say so.”“I’m not in the mood for your hoodoo bullshit.”“It’s the law of attraction, Lyon; they’re all coming home. Don’t you find it strange that the kids in Cali all found each other without knowing about their ancestral past? We should talk to Catalina about this; I’d love to hear her take on it.”“You talk to her. I ain’t saying shit to that kid.”“You’re just salty because she’s your carbon copy but in a cuter package.”“Kiss my ass. By the way, if she has those lions on that island, I’ll leave the whole lot of you there to get eaten, dumb ass.”“They were taken back to wh
What in the world is going on? Am I having an episode, or is this really happening right now? Things seem to be moving very fast one moment, only to slow way down the next, and everything is all out of place. My head was still spinning from my earlier rush of anger, and I could tell that any second now, I was going to lose my breath or have a total meltdown.Ryder looked just as confused as I was, and the hand that I’d used to slug her with stung as he held it gripped tightly in his. There was way too much to unpack here, not least of all the things Janie had revealed in the video we’d all just watched.My chest felt tight as I fought the urge to attack her again, but I knew as much anger as I felt, she was not the only one to blame here. I could lay it all at her feet for sure since she was the idiot who couldn’t take no for an answer. But I have to ask myself, had it not been her, would they have found someone else? From what I see, they would’ve used anyone to serve their purpose; s
I should’ve seen it coming, but even I didn’t think she was this stupid. Janie flew up from the chair in a rage and went after Elena, talons bared and teeth gnashing like something out of the wild. And before I or either Jared or Travis could reach them, Elena swung and knocked her down with a punch to the face. The screeching was almost unbearable in the empty room as it bounced off the walls like an echo.Elena, my little angel who I believe has never hurt a fly, stood over her and pulled her hair back hard with her hand raised, ready to wail on her again, but then she suddenly stopped and jumped away from Janie as if she’d been prodded by something. Unfair as it was, I was about to let Janie have it for whatever it was she had done to hurt her, but then Elena spoke, and it was the horror in her voice that had me stepping forward to take a closer look.“What the hell? What happened to your face?” I almost laughed at Elena’s question, thinking she was being facetious since she was the
“Where are we going?” She whispered the question as we were being driven through the quiet early morning New York streets by the two very stoic men up front.“I have no idea; they didn’t say. Are you nervous?” She turned to look out the tinted window while keeping her hold on my arm, where she had hers wrapped around my elbow.“Not really. Isn’t that strange?”“I know what you mean. I was thinking the same thing earlier.” I don’t feel this at ease around men I hire myself and have known for years.“Have you noticed, though, how quiet the street was when we left the apartment?”“It’s early.”“Yeah, but this is New York; there’s always someone outside, no matter how late or how early it is. I don’t think there was even a pigeon on the sidewalk.”I’d noticed that, too, and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to spook her, but I was pretty sure the two men up front had something to do with that. I wouldn’t be surprised because all of Lyon’s men seem to have some sort of tactical trai
The phone rang just as I came out the shower. I’d been in there for much longer than was necessary, thinking about the way my life had changed so drastically in only a few short weeks. It seems impossible, and I still find myself having these moments where I want to pinch myself to make sure that it’s real.In that space of time, I’d gone from wishing for death to wanting to live more than anything. From living in the worst kind of hell imaginable to being the happiest I’ve ever been in my existence. The only thing plaguing me now was how easy it had been for me to lose everything the last time and worrying about how not to let it happen again.I doubt I’d be such an ass twice, but I hadn’t expected things to go south the last time either, and that’s what’s worrying the hell out of me. How blind I was to the people and situations around me. Drugs had played a part in it, sure, but I won’t use that as an excuse for the mess I’d made of our lives.I wasn’t in any hurry to answer the phon