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Chapter 33: RYDER
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2023-07-01 14:04:00Related chapters
My Bully's Crush Chapter 34: RYDER
It's a good thing the deal with Saunders is a lie, or I'd be in deep shit. My first time at bat, and I'm about to fail this acting thing already. I could barely keep the snare off my face as I watched this witch approach me with that lying smile on her face. Standing still for the few seconds it took for her to kiss my cheek almost took me out, and it was all I could do not to wipe it off. I couldn't resist stepping out of the way, though when she tried clinging to me, it felt too much like cheating. If this isn't some Hollywood bullshit, I don't know what is. I'm married to her, but it feels like I would be cheating on Elena by letting her get too close. Just the bare touch of her hand on my arm felt like a violation. Like she, the woman I'd so foolishly married, had no right, whereas my ex did.I saw the hurt look she gave me when I pulled away and stepped out of reach and had to turn my face away so that she didn't see the scorn in my eyes. When I was high on whatever it was that s
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 35: ELENA
Ryder's back. I shouldn't feel this much relief that he was back safe, but there it is. I think I knew of his return even before the news broke; I felt it. I hadn't let on to anyone, including myself, just how worried I was about his disappearance or how often I'd looked at the photo of him in the crowd amidst my fans in the last few weeks. And yes, I've finally admitted to myself that I wrote and released that goodbye as a way to keep in touch with him in a small way.Not that I expected him to reply or anything of the sort, but at the time, even with all my other excuses and reasons, I needed to do it for me. But it wasn't long after the release that I realized how futile the effort was and that my heart may never heal enough from the blow of losing him. Something I only found out afterward.I thought I'd done a lot of healing and that I was ready to move on in some small way, but my own goodbye had proved me wrong. I'd gotten sidetracked with the whole rumor mill thing that was now
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 36: RYDER
Well, this is interesting. No wonder they allowed Mary into the house today. They must've known what was coming and were planning some scheme to put her visit good use. Both Tyler and Zak seemed too laid back and unbothered while the rest of the world was about to crash and burn. At least L.A. Was.I've been following the theatrics online, and I think I see a pattern forming. "Hey, is there any rhyme or reason to whatever it is these nieces of yours have planned?" I still had no idea what the end result was supposed to be with this whole thing. I knew they were supposed to be helping me in some way, but to what end?"I wouldn't go sticking my nose into that mess if I were you." These two tough guys were the last kind of men I'd expect to sweat whenever those little girls were mentioned, but just like Saunders, they seemed to tense up and look around for cover whenever I brought them up.Had I not seen their handiwork firsthand, I'd find it comical, but in the last couple of weeks, sinc
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 37: JANIE
I couldn't take my eyes off his face as he led me into the room and sat me down on the loveseat, taking one of the chairs closest to it. Even with that initial smile, I was terrified about what he was about to say.What if he asked for a divorce? What if everyone was right, and this was really the end? There was no way to read his face, not like in the past when the drugs kept him under control, and I didn't have to worry from one day to the next what he was thinking. "I want to apologize." I think the world stopped. It wasn't a declaration of love, but it might as well be. Ryder was saying sorry to me about something. It didn't matter what it was he was apologizing for, just the fact that he was talking to me and so nicely, too, was enough, and he wasn't finished."I know I haven't been the best husband, especially since I came back this last time, but I just wanted to get this acting thing right, and I couldn't have any distractions. I see it as a new adventure for the both of us, a
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 38: ELENA
Really Ryder? Really? Just how much of a raging lunatic are you trying to be? Just when I thought my life was getting back on track, you have to go pull a stunt like this. The first song was bad enough, especially when the internet's new favorite denizen had deciphered the code, something I still don't understand since the code was a secret between him and me, but this second song is going too far.Thank heaven this MengeLiNi person hadn't revealed the secrets in this one, or who knows what would happen. Then again, it's only been a few hours since it dropped; they might be taking their time before dropping the bomb. The first song was all about missing me and what we had together, but this one would put the Police's every breath you take to shame. It was a stalker's daydream if you ask me, and an outright threat. In short, this beast who had left me at the altar and moved on with his decrepit life was now threatening anyone I went out with on a date, as well as letting me know that h
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 39: RYDER
It's time. I'm as nervous as a hooker in church, but there was no way I wasn't going to go through with this. "Do you remember everything we told you?" "Yeah, but I still don't know how you know what the inside of her house looks like." "You really wanna have this conversation now?""No, I guess not." I wasn't in the mood for a tongue-lashing from Zak, and we both knew I was just talking to hear myself speak because it's a given that I don't know how they know half the shit they do. They still haven't come right out and said it, but my money is on military."Just breathe, kid; it's gonna be fine." Yeah, that's what they've both been telling me for the last hour or so. I don't know why I feel so sick to my stomach. This is what I've been striving for since my return, but now that the time was near, I wasn't sure I could go through with it.I knew it was fear of her reaction that held me in its grip, but still, I couldn't figure out how to shake it off. There was so much at stake here an
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 40: ELENA
"Elena, please, just let me come in so we can talk.""No, it's too late for that." I felt such rage inside that I was almost afraid of what I might do. The tears that I'd been fighting so hard to contain were winning, and I hated that for myself; I hated showing any kind of weakness in front of him.How dare he show up here like this? Acting so blasé, as if he wasn't the monster who had hurt me in the worst possible way. How dare he think that all the pain and hurt of the last five years could just be swept away and forgotten by his mere presence?In the past, it was always like that. I was always quick to forgive him and move on from whatever idiotic thing he'd done. Because I believed that that's what love was. Long-suffering, forgiving, merciful. All the things an innocent young girl should believe. But look where that got me.He made me a laughingstock, something to be ridiculed and laughed at, someone to be pitied. "Damn you, I told you to go away. It's too late for explanations a
Last Updated : 2023-07-01My Bully's Crush Chapter 41: RYDER
How the hell was I going to explain everything to her? Where the hell do I start? I felt gutted and raw. There was so much pain inside that I could hardly breathe. How the hell could I tell her everything that I'd learned in the last couple of months? And how will I bear this pain? The pain of what my words might do to her.Does it really matter? My pain was nothing compared to the hell I just heard in her voice, and though I'm not conceited enough to hold myself responsible for all of her pain, I knew at least ninety-five percent of it was because of me. Now I'm here for the first time in five years to add even more pain to her load.I hated myself more at that moment as I stood there staring at the back of her head because she refused to turn around and face me. I could force her; I know I could. I've done it before, forced her to see things my way or to do any number of things that, when I look back, I feel like the worst kind of human being for doing to her.If I were her, I wouldn
Last Updated : 2023-07-18
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My Bully's Crush Chapter 90: RYDER
I saw it as soon as I saw her walking towards the car. Even from this distance, her eyes gave it away. It’s amazing that after all that time apart, I can still read her so well. I knew from the looks of things that she’d spent the day worrying about someone who didn’t deserve it; in fact, I knew it would be like this even before I left her because that’s just who she is, and still, I’d let her go to work like that. I have to do better than this. This was one of my many failings from before, not protecting her even from herself. She’s so brilliant in everything else, always knowing the right thing to say or do, that it was never really needed, except when it came to herself. For everyone else, she’s a champion of causes, the one you want next to you in a fight. As long as the fight is for someone else.I’d seen it, time and again, the way she’d put herself last to take care of others and had taken advantage of that fact a time or two myself. Something I am now grievously ashamed of. Of
My Bully's Crush Chapter 89:ANDREWS
“You’ve got the wrong guy. Don’t you people know who I am? Hey, I’m talking to you; answer me, dammit.” They ignored me again like they had the last ten times I said the same. I’ve been repeating that refrain or some variation of it since they threw me back here with cuffs on and no regard for my comfort. At first, I tried telling myself that it was because of my disheveled appearance that they didn’t recognize me, but then I remembered that they’d called me by name in the alley, and that line of thought went nowhere, but only worked to heighten my fear and desperation.I was trying hard not to shit myself while worrying about the cameras that were bound to meet us as soon as we reached the station. “Hey guys, give me a break here; you know I’m not good for this; you should be out there looking for the real killer. At least let me get cleaned up before you take me in. I can’t let my fans see me like this.” Nothing, it was as if I wasn’t even there.I haven’t even had time to digest th
My Bully's Crush Chapter 88:JANIE
In moments of clarity, I kept telling myself I could bounce back from this, that things were not as final as they seemed, and then my head would become filled with all the ways I’d been wronged, and I’d get so mad I could throw up. All the way back to my childhood home with the two strange men upfront, silent as the dead, ignoring my questions, all I wanted to do was scream.One moment, I felt hopeful and ready to fight for what was mine, and the next, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open. I knew it was partly because of the long drive the night before and partly the drugs messing with me, and still, I couldn’t help taking a couple more just to numb the pain.All I could think about was how hard things were going to be, how people were going to laugh at me, how low I had fallen. No matter how much I told myself to think positively and not give up, those were the only thoughts that seemed to want to hang around, and so they lingered.It wasn’t long before the pills started to d
My Bully's Crush Chapter 87:ELENA
“Do you want to call out today? Tell them you’re not feeling well?”“No, I can’t do that to the others, they have lives too, you know, and they didn’t sign up for my personal drama. I’ll be fine, Ryder, don’t worry about me.” I had to say those words because what else was I going to say? But deep inside, I was a mess and trying very hard to hold onto my sanity.I find myself caught up in a melee of troubling thoughts that don’t sit well with me, and there was no time to think it all through because I had to go to work and be my best in front of the cameras, not giving away any of what I was feeling. It's enough to make me throw up.If it were up to me, I’d go back to bed and pull the covers over my head until it all passed, but I don’t have that option. I thought I would be happy to see my enemy brought low. I’d imagined it a million times over the years, every time I hurt, each time I thought of him with her. I’m only human, after all, and someone else was married and living with the
My Bully's Crush Chapter 86: LYON
“We’ve got sound.”“What, they let you back on the island?”“They don’t know we’re back in.”“I’m pretty sure Russo had a hand in this.”“You would be right; only he could pull off something like this. That’s why we need him on our side.”Another ingrate. “You still haven’t told me how you found every one of us.”“Well, I was doing your job.”“I’m not looking for fuck.”“You found Lorde.”“He found me.”“If you say so.”“I’m not in the mood for your hoodoo bullshit.”“It’s the law of attraction, Lyon; they’re all coming home. Don’t you find it strange that the kids in Cali all found each other without knowing about their ancestral past? We should talk to Catalina about this; I’d love to hear her take on it.”“You talk to her. I ain’t saying shit to that kid.”“You’re just salty because she’s your carbon copy but in a cuter package.”“Kiss my ass. By the way, if she has those lions on that island, I’ll leave the whole lot of you there to get eaten, dumb ass.”“They were taken back to wh
My Bully's Crush Chapter 85: ELENA
What in the world is going on? Am I having an episode, or is this really happening right now? Things seem to be moving very fast one moment, only to slow way down the next, and everything is all out of place. My head was still spinning from my earlier rush of anger, and I could tell that any second now, I was going to lose my breath or have a total meltdown.Ryder looked just as confused as I was, and the hand that I’d used to slug her with stung as he held it gripped tightly in his. There was way too much to unpack here, not least of all the things Janie had revealed in the video we’d all just watched.My chest felt tight as I fought the urge to attack her again, but I knew as much anger as I felt, she was not the only one to blame here. I could lay it all at her feet for sure since she was the idiot who couldn’t take no for an answer. But I have to ask myself, had it not been her, would they have found someone else? From what I see, they would’ve used anyone to serve their purpose; s
My Bully's Crush Chapter 84: RYDER
I should’ve seen it coming, but even I didn’t think she was this stupid. Janie flew up from the chair in a rage and went after Elena, talons bared and teeth gnashing like something out of the wild. And before I or either Jared or Travis could reach them, Elena swung and knocked her down with a punch to the face. The screeching was almost unbearable in the empty room as it bounced off the walls like an echo.Elena, my little angel who I believe has never hurt a fly, stood over her and pulled her hair back hard with her hand raised, ready to wail on her again, but then she suddenly stopped and jumped away from Janie as if she’d been prodded by something. Unfair as it was, I was about to let Janie have it for whatever it was she had done to hurt her, but then Elena spoke, and it was the horror in her voice that had me stepping forward to take a closer look.“What the hell? What happened to your face?” I almost laughed at Elena’s question, thinking she was being facetious since she was the
My Bully's Crush Chapter 83: RYDER
“Where are we going?” She whispered the question as we were being driven through the quiet early morning New York streets by the two very stoic men up front.“I have no idea; they didn’t say. Are you nervous?” She turned to look out the tinted window while keeping her hold on my arm, where she had hers wrapped around my elbow.“Not really. Isn’t that strange?”“I know what you mean. I was thinking the same thing earlier.” I don’t feel this at ease around men I hire myself and have known for years.“Have you noticed, though, how quiet the street was when we left the apartment?”“It’s early.”“Yeah, but this is New York; there’s always someone outside, no matter how late or how early it is. I don’t think there was even a pigeon on the sidewalk.”I’d noticed that, too, and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to spook her, but I was pretty sure the two men up front had something to do with that. I wouldn’t be surprised because all of Lyon’s men seem to have some sort of tactical trai
My Bully's Crush Chapter 82: RYDER
The phone rang just as I came out the shower. I’d been in there for much longer than was necessary, thinking about the way my life had changed so drastically in only a few short weeks. It seems impossible, and I still find myself having these moments where I want to pinch myself to make sure that it’s real.In that space of time, I’d gone from wishing for death to wanting to live more than anything. From living in the worst kind of hell imaginable to being the happiest I’ve ever been in my existence. The only thing plaguing me now was how easy it had been for me to lose everything the last time and worrying about how not to let it happen again.I doubt I’d be such an ass twice, but I hadn’t expected things to go south the last time either, and that’s what’s worrying the hell out of me. How blind I was to the people and situations around me. Drugs had played a part in it, sure, but I won’t use that as an excuse for the mess I’d made of our lives.I wasn’t in any hurry to answer the phon
