"Like I'm his father?!" he yells, leaning over the console toward me.Our eyes lock."Don't you dare yell at me," I say in a soft, unforced way. "You can be angry with me, but you know I won't be spoken to like that."Rex rests a hand on the dashboard. "I don't know you at all, Isabella."He's right. We are strangers. One month together five years ago doesn't mean we know each other.And yet my heart breaks. That time of my life, that month, felt untouchable. A perfect crevice of time before life got really real.Now, Rex is back. And everything is different."You were a kid," I say, finally."I was twenty-six.""Yeah," I say. "A kid."Rex scoffs. "Don't act like because you were a few years older than me that meant we were so different.""Rex, we were different! You were literally about to become famous. Don't tell me you would have sacrificed any of your dreams to deal with an unplanned pregnancy," I reply.These are all facts I'm telling him. Not assumptions. We both know that it w
RexI rake my hand through my hair one more time, the gift bag knocking me in the head as I do so. Don't have enough hands for the flowers, the present, and a last-minute touch-up to the hair. Can't help it though. Force of habit.I'm standing at the front door of Isabella's house which is a short drive from the motel I'm staying at for the next week. Maybe longer if things go well and, damn, I hope they do.Though all the houses in the subdivision look about the same, Isabella's sticks out because the door has been painted green and a big crucifix hangs on it. I can almost hear the squabble that must have gone down between Isabella and Marisol over it.I lift my finger to the doorbell but don't press it.There's no way to prepare for a moment like this. I mean, I've tried. I made sure to get some nicer clothes than the bag of Walmart bullshit Mickey picked up for me when I was leaving the hospital, spent a profound amount on the flowers for Marisol, and the gift for Leo. I know nothi
He's a lady killer too. I guess it is genetic."Yes, it is." I hold the bag out toward him. "I hope you like it. I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got you a few things."Leo takes the bag from me, heavy and unwieldy enough that it's hard for him to keep up off the ground. "Thank you. Can I open it?""I think that's up to your mother," I say and give her the same batting of the eyelashes.Isabella's distance melts and she laughs. "Oh God, I'm –" Totally fucked, I bet is what she'd like to say. "Of course, sweetie, let's go sit down."What follows is almost as good as Christmas. Leo takes out each gift with an open-mouthed smile, looking to his mom in shock, then to me like I'm...I won't cry.Once the last present is out of the bag, Leo stacks up his haul on the coffee table in perfect order, making sure all the corners are squared. He lets out a satisfied sigh and then says, "Wow. I didn't expect this."My mouth quirks to the side."That was far too generous, Rex," Isabella says."Ah
IsabellaI never imagined Leo and Rex together. To protect myself.Okay, that's not true.I've blocked the imaginings out. They happened constantly while I was pregnant and even more often than that when Leo was a newborn. Seeing anyone hold Leo, I'd get a flash of what it might be like to see Rex hold Leo.He might not have been ready to be a dad. But I don't know if it's fair that I've assumed he'd have been a bad one.Because as I watch Rex and Leo building this Lego set from the next room, listening to the way they negotiate the pieces and the moments they talk about life and the way they can make each other laugh...It's clear I've made a mistake."A piece of him," my mother says in Spanish, her hand on my shoulder.I don't shrug her off the way I have so many times when she's mentioned Rex. The mentions are sparing over the years because she knows how it upsets me. "A man deserves the opportunity to become a father," she told me. And when I'd inevitably blow up at her, she'd add
I can't suppress my smile. "I guess we didn't really spend a lot of time doing things that weren't...""Depraved?"I gawp. "Depraved?! You make it sound like we were committing ritual sacrifice when you say it like that."He pulls our clasped hands into his lap. They rest on the warmth of his thighs. "Well, it wasn't innocent, how about that?"My heart rate quickens. "No, I suppose not.""I can't imagine how scared you must have been.""I wasn't," I say.He rolls his eyes. "Liar."I laugh. "Not a liar. My body was literally built to have babies, I wasn't scared.""You know I'm not just talking about having a baby. But having a child. The whole thing.""Fair. I'll give you that."Rex shifts in his seat, closer to the window. We're mere inches apart. I keep my eyes downcast on our hands.Fuck. I feel it again. That unavoidable magnetism that pulled us together."Will you let me see him again?" he asks."Yeah, I mean, if you have time.""'Course I got fucking time for him."I feel a pang
Rex“Do I really have to be business casual?” I ask, staring at the sports coat in Isabella’s hand.We’re at the Ocotillo Valley Mall. Yep, a real, honest-to-goodness mall. Didn’t know these things still existed quite like this one. There’s a food court, a Spencer’s and a whole jungle gym for kids to trade germs back and forth.Just like the good old days.Of course, we’re not doing anything fun at the mall, just sorting through suit jackets that I know are all going to be just a little too short on my torso and show too much of my wrist.“Yes.”“You know, we’re not going to fool anyone with the whole ‘business dad’ thing…” I say, clocking some teen girls hiding with their phones out across the store from us. I’ve tried my best to blend in with a baseball cap and a simple black tee, but apparently, I didn't do enough to hide my rockstar vibe.“I’m not trying to fool anyone,” Isabella says. “You’re his dad. And you take his education seriously. I don’t go to meetings in scrubs. I dress
IsabellaLeo's hand feels weird in mine with my rings on.Yes. My fake wedding rings.I can't believe I let Rex talk me into it. Actually, I can. Because that man has always made me act in ways inexplicable to my character. Case and point, the tattoo I never thought I'd get. Leaving my own birthday party for sex, leaving work early for sex, introducing him to my mother even though we knew we weren't going to last.Rex Redford is the human form of ambrosia. Addictive and delicious.And man is he addictive and delicious looking in the suit we bought for him. I bought two sensible versions of it. Gray. Brown.Of course, he went for the burgundy.Somehow, he's made a ready-to-wear department store suit look like a million bucks.The three of us hurry up the steps of Tremain Day School and through the huge wooden doors."It's like a castle," Leo whispers to me."Yeah, it is, isn't it?" It does. A castle in the middle of the California desert. Slate gray tiled floors, tapestries on the wall
The headmistress puts on a pair of tiny, wire-framed glasses and pulls out a notepad.And thus begins the interview."So, Dr. Delgado. You're a doctor of –""I'm an emergency room doctor," I say softer than I mean to.The headmistress hums. "That must be difficult."I shrug. "I'm used to it.""Don't be so modest, Isabella," Rex says, taking my left hand in his right, stroking his thumb across the rings.Okay, now he's laying it on a little thick."And what about you, Mr. Redford?"I smile at Rex thinking, See? She isn't a fan."Um, well, I'm a musician actually.""A musician! What kind? Classical."Rex half-laughs, glances my way for some help.Nope. All you, buddy."Rock music, actually."Headmistress Rockwell's head bounces backward, her lips pursed like she's just taken a full bite of a lemon. "Rock music?""Rex is actually very successful in the music industry.""I see..." The headmistress jots something down on her notepad.Rex squeezes my hand harder. I needed that. My nerves ar