RexI stare at the party in front of me without seeing. Depravity. What else is new? Nothing I need to see. Not anymore. If I was tired of it before, now I’m downright exhausted by it.I balance my lowball glass of whisky on the arm of my chair, twist it carefully and try to discern if I could sneak out of this godforsaken hotel without anyone noticing me. There are the four of us from the band, a handful of girls, and then some of the crew. Maybe fifteen people in total. It’d be tricky but I could do it.“Lines!” a female voice shrieks in excitement.Across the room, a raven-haired woman with skin so pale I’m surprised I can’t see all her veins holds up a baggie of white stuff. Coke, obviously. I grimace as I watch her go about the business of pouring the powder onto the coffee table and forming the coke into tidy lines.I can thank Holden, our keyboardist, for her appearance tonight. Seraphina’s a groupie, which is surprising in this day and age that anyone takes the time to follow
I scrape my lower lip with my teeth and scan my bandmates. They're my best friends. We've been in this shit together since we were teens. We've slept on floors together, shared clothes, and survived on ramen just to fund our albums and tours.Now we have everything.Except... I have nothing."I'm not married," I say softly.Apollo's face drops. "I'm so sorry, dude. She didn't deserve you.""No, Apollo, I was never married."Everyone looks at me in confusion."Isabella and I... we met a long time ago. Last stop on our club tour before we signed with Interscope.""That's why you were in the desert..." Blaise says with a thoughtful laugh under his words.I nod. "It was just a fling. Except, when I had my accident, she ended up being the doctor to treat me and we reconnected and –" I scratch the back of my head. "Turns out I have a kid.""Oh shit," Seraphina peeps. Holden claps his hand over her mouth and she looks at him apologetically."Yeah, she's gonna need to sign an NDA or something
Isabella “What do you mean I’m not on the schedule?” I gawk at Amina. My resident smiles. “You’re not on the schedule.” I look at the paper scheduler in her hand. Sure enough, I’m not there. “No, I did not come all this way to not be on the schedule,” I grumble, whipping out my phone. I hurriedly navigate to my email where a schedule had been sent last week. I find the attachment and – “Ha!” I hold the phone out. “See? I am on the schedule.” “But you’re not,” Amina says with a shrug. Something is off. She’s got a lilt to her voice that’s playful and strange. “What’s going on?” She shrugs again, biting on her lower lip. She doesn’t even have to say, “I know something you don’t know.” I open my mouth to respond again, but hear my name said by an unfamiliar male voice. “Isabella Delgado?” I turn to find myself face to face with an older gentleman dressed impeccably in a suit and wearing aviators. An LA type through and through. I cross my arms over my chest, my scrubs wrinkling.
RexThe past couple of shows have been better since telling the band about what happened in Ocotillo Valley. Not incredible, but much better than passable.We are in the homestretch of our set. Two more songs, then we're out and back on for an encore. I might be feeling inspired enough to do two songs tonight. After all, this is Madison Square Garden where all the greats have played, from Zeppelin to Fleetwood Mac. I'm not here to fuck around.I'm here to fuck it up.We're in the middle of one of our ballbusters, "Thought You'd Start to Care", which has one of our jam sections and, boy, are we flying tonight. My fingers are flying across the neck of my guitar and I'm sweating like hell, hair dripping, t-shirt sticking to my back.I lift my eyes to check on Holden. He's on his feet at the keyboard, totally lost in the sauce. I smile to myself.Swinging around, using my guitar to propel me, I check on Blaise, giving him a quick nod. He can feel it, I know. He's got a solo on him, ready
There’s some laughter.“Not only do I…” I have to pause to get a hold of my tearfulness, giving my attention back to Isabella.Her emotionality mirrors mine. Fuck, one of us has to stay strong.“…love her.”Isabella’s shoulders rise with excitement. And Leo points at her as if to say, “He’s talking about you!”I watch her laugh and kiss him.“With all my heart. And soul and mind and body and… with everything I got, I love her.”A place like Madison Square Garden is hard to silence when it’s filled to the brim. But you could hear a single footstep, it’s so quiet.“And as if she could make me love her any more than I already do, she gave me another human to love.” I can see the splashy tabloid headlines now and for once, I don’t care. Because I’m getting to tell my story. My truth.I want the world to know.“My son.”There’s gasping and cheering and clapping.I smile, wicking away a tear before it falls. “They’re here tonight. And I’d like to introduce you to them. If that’s –” I do a d
IsabellaThe view from Rex's suite is incredible. The expanse of New York City rolls out before us. So much open sky and space.I wrap my sweater around me. Spring in New York is much cooler than spring in Ocotillo Valley. It quickly becomes colder than I'd like.I head inside from the balcony and look at the thin edge of light spilling across the carpet from the bedroom. With a smile, I walk closer to the bedroom door and rest my head against the doorframe.“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Leo’s small voice pipes up from inside.“Of course,” I hear Rex reply, his voice warm like honey, dripping with exhaustion.“And what about the next day?”“If I’m not there, you can call me right away.”There is a pause. “I want you to be there,” Leo says.Another pause. “I want to be there, too, buddy.”“Tell Mama.”Rex chuckles. “You know what, I will.”“Because Mama will want you there too.”“You think so?” Rex asks.I smile to myself. It’s not as simple as all of that. But I’m learning to be ok
Rex knocks back the rest of the champagne and then closes the space between us, pressing his hands to the counter on either side of me. Except it's not a motion of want. At least not yet. Whatever he wants to say is so urgent and so heavy he needs me. Right here. "I want you on tour with me."My eyebrows jump. "What?!""You. Leo. Your mom. I heard she and Mickey hit it off actually," Rex says.I slap him on the arm. "Don't talk about my mother like that!""It was a joke!" he hisses, rubbing the spot my hand thwacked."I can't go on tour with you, Rex. I work."Rex shakes his head. "You don't have to work anymore.""Um, yeah I do."Rex narrows his eyes. "You know who you're talking to, right?""It's not about – I can't be beholden to you for money, Rex, that's just –"He places two fingers to my jaw and I stop talking. "I'd be taking care of you." This thumb settles against my chin. "Because that's what I want to do."My mind races. I don't want to give up my job. At the same time, I w
RexSix months later...I stand outside of Leo's school with my baseball cap pulled low over my forehead and dark sunglasses on. As usual, I try not to stand out.However, since Isabella and I became an item, Ocotillo Valley has gotten used to my visits every six weeks. Not to mention all of the pictures of us circulating the internet from our tour antics this summer."Psst."I look up and see the face of a smiley Asian man. "Hey, Andrew.""What's up man?" he says, holding out his hand.I clap his hand with mine and give him a genial, one-armed hug. "How've you been?""Been good, been good. Isabella didn't tell me you'd be back so soon.""We were trying to keep it a surprise for Leo."Andrew gushes, "Aw, that's sweet."If I can make Leo's life special in any way, I'll do it. I'm making up for lost time, although I guess I always will be. There are worse things than throwing myself into the love I have for my son. I'd definitely like more so I can be someone's dad from the very start,