Chapter 4

"What did you say, Elliot? You're like a stand-in boyfriend? And what exactly is a "backup boyfriend?" Kyle had a frown on his face after I told him about my recent agreement with Ariella.

"It means exactly what it says: I pretend to be her boyfriend when that fucking ass isn't around."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing. And you are okay with it? Can you actually hear yourself?" Kyle's tone with me right now is irritating.

"I'm still the goddamn boss here, Kyle. You should be careful with your tone." I quipped, trying to intimidate him.

"What the fucking, fucking shit?! A substitute boyfriend? How did she even come up with such a stupid idea?" Kyle's doubts about my decision have already irritated me.

Yes, I admit it: I went insane over this one. This is the stupidest, and perhaps most nonsense decision I've ever made, but I can't stop myself. Ari has to be mine. I have to be able to call her my girl, even if it's just for show.

"You already know how much I like her, Kyle. And even if it's just for show, I need to feel like she's mine, because Ari is still my Ari."

"Elliot, I know I promised to be there for you, but this is insane. What will you do if someone recognizes you? How will she be able to introduce you? Will she use your name? Or will you use the jackass's identity? Have you given these things any thought before attempting to enter into this fictitious relationship?"

The enraged Kyle threw question after question at me; I know he has a valid argument, a plausible explanation for all of the skepticism, but I know I won't be able to back out of this one.

In response, I slowly shook my head. Ari, on the other hand, has never said anything about how we intend to proceed with the setup. And I was too excited and elated to ask her.

"You're completely insane. Just listening to this hypocritical nonsense is giving me a headache!"

"Kyle, I told you to be careful with what you say around me. I'm still your fucking superior!"

"Well, I'm not speaking to you as a boss right now; I'm speaking to you as my best friend! A fucking best friend who believes that everything will go wrong as a result of this messed-up and insane idea that you and Ari both have."

"Kyle, what could possibly go wrong? This is my best chance to express my feelings for Ari. To honestly admit to her all the suppressed feelings I have for her." Kyle clenched his teeth and furrowed his brows even more at this point, sensing my emotions. 

"What if you can't let her go, El? What are your plans once this is all over? What if she no longer needs your help as a back-up boyfriend? Will you be able to let her go? Will you willingly give up the idea of pretending to be her boyfriend? Because, if you ask me, the answer to those questions is no. El, I know how jealous and controlling you can be. And you'll only end up hurting yourself more."

Numb. Kyle's voiced-out words numbed me. Everything he said smacked me square in the face. I know I'll never be able to let go of her. I know I can't let her go, even if she'll wish for it all to end. I love her so much that the thought of losing her forever to a jerk that I don't even know fuels my rage.

"I see you've become speechless." Kyle lets out a sigh. "You know in your mind, Elliot, that I've got a point. You don't even make sudden decisions, but you just made one. And it was the craziest one I've ever seen. Please, as early as now, end this."

Just having this conversation with Kyle is making me anxious. It's exhausting to keep doing the same thing over and over. Despite knowing the truth about what Kyle was saying, I refused to admit it. I refused to pass up the opportunity to be with Ari.

"Even if you're right, Kyle, I don't intend to change my decisions. I can't. I just can't, and you know that. I'd like to be her back-up boyfriend. You can say whatever you want because you're entitled to that opinion, but I have the right to make the decision I do. I've waited ten fucking years for this, and even if it's just a back-up boyfriend, even if it's just a fantasy, it's better than nothing."

"When that time comes, El, that you’re already in so deep with this shit, don’t let me tell you that, I told you so."

I let out a breath, cleared my throat, and leaned back in my chair. "I'm not going to give you that chance because I'm going to take advantage of this opportunity to have her and to be her real boyfriend. I'll play along with her, but I'll eventually make her fall in love with me."

Kyle just shook his head in defeat after I muttered those words. He should be aware that this is the last time we will discuss this.

---

"Sir, call on line one from Ms. Gregory." Trevor says over the intercom.

My heart started racing as soon as I heard her name. What exactly am I? A high schooler who has his first crush? I picked up the phone and, as soon as I heard her voice, my lips slowly raised to form a smile.

"Good day, boyfriend." She said cheerfully. An electric shock ran through my body the moment I heard the word "boyfriend." It's an intense feeling that even I can't fathom.

"Ari, what can I do for you?" I inquired.

"That's girlfriend for you, El!" she joked.

"What can I do for you then, girlfriend?" I asked. As soon as I said that, I heard her soft giggles.

"You need to do your job, El." She says, her voice playful once more.

"What job is that, babe?" Just having this conversation with her is changing my mood.

"The back-up boyfriend job." she said. And I was immediately enthralled. All I could think about was how I could be the best boyfriend for her.

"Oh, it seems like the real one is out of the picture, huh?" I can feel her mood shift from cheerful to solemn.

"He can't make it to the gala, yet again." Ari explained. "But it's okay. I know you'll help me get through this."

This could be a good time to ask her about the plan, concerning the questions Kyle posed to me earlier, "So, girlfriend, how do we go about this?" I asked. "Do you introduce me by my name or by the name of your boyfriend? For starters, if you use my name, you can expect to see it in the papers and on the internet by tomorrow. While if you let me use your boyfriend's name, I just don't think the name can do justice to how hot and good-looking I am in comparison to your boyfriend."

I heard her sweet laughter on the other end of the line after I finished my speech. And those giggles send shivers up my spine. It makes me so happy when I can make her laugh like that.

"No worries, you'll be named El. It's just my El. I understand that many people only know you by your first name and that you don't pose for pictures, so the secret is safe. I know how secretive you can be about the hotness you encompass. And, El would be just fine." Ari said

It's something I wish would have happened ten years ago. I am her Elliot. I am her boyfriend. "Then as you wish, El, it is then. By the way, when do you need me?" I inquired.

"Tonight at seven o'clock." Ari says. "I can meet you there." she adds.

"Nothing that can't be done." I say. "I'm going to pick up my girlfriend. I'll be at your house at six thirty tonight."

"That's just perfect. I'll see you later, boyfriend." She said as she hung up the phone.

I felt completely enthralled by the sudden strange feelings. I'm not used to such strong emotions. When she was around me in high school, I always felt like my heart was racing. But the effect she has on me right now is inexplicable. I'm overwhelmed by a different set of emotions just hearing her name. Emotions that I, as a mafia boss, tried to suppress.

Being a member of the mafia and the underground, only one emotion should rule out my system: coldness. That's why I don't understand why, whenever I hear her name, I get a sudden burst of happiness and cheerfulness that makes my insides tremble. This is not me. This is not the mafia boss I was trained to be. But as I have said, mafia boss or not, I will enjoy the feeling.

Following the phone call, I immediately directed Trevor to make all the necessary arrangements for the gala dinner tonight. Everything must be as perfect as possible. After all, this is our first date. I also ordered Trevor to cancel all remaining afternoon meetings, prompting Kyle to burst through my office door once more.

"Are you serious, Elliot? You're abandoning me once more to attend those shitshows all the while you spend the night with your pretentious girlfriend." My brows furrowed as I heard what he had to say about Ari.

"Conner, zip it up, before I forget who you are." I said.

"I just wanted to remind you, boss, that the arms delivery is scheduled for tonight. And you always want to be there when we have a shipment. But tonight, while we work our asses off, you'll be having fun with your little girlfriend." Kyle retorted sarcastically.

"I don't care if you work your fucking asses off. That is exactly what I paid you to do. So stop waffling and get to work. You're such a dick." I answered back.

"All right, I'm a wuss. And you, the great mafia king, is a sweetheart! Really, Elliot, a rose bouquet to be delivered to Ari? By the way, I heard it from Trevor. What is going on with my cold and heartless Allister? Is he softening as a result of his lady love?"

"Trevor!" I yelled. My office door flew open, revealing my anxious assistant. "Who the fuck gave the signal for this jerk to barge into my room?" I said, and Trevor was taken aback.

"Si-Sir, Mr. Conner does not require an appointment to see you. That's your instructions." he replied. Kyle has a smirk on his face.

"Modify it. This shit can't just stroll in. Understand?" Trevor simply nodded, while Kyle continued to enjoy the nervousness on Trevor's face.

"Take your leave. And you too, Conner." Trevor quickly exited the room, leaving me and Kyle alone.

"All right, all right. Enjoy your date while I, Kyle Conner, your best friend, risk my life once more while receiving these damn shipments. Enjoy yourself, and don't forget to bring the big C. You might not be able to keep it in your pants after all, so better come prepared." The fucking shit truly enjoys irritating me.

"Get out!" I yelled. He laughed and shook his head before walking out the door.

I shouldn't be irritated. Tonight I have a date. My girlfriend and I are going on a date. Finally, Ariella is going on a date with me.