Chapter 4 - Our Secrets

Before I could comprehend what their secret look meant, I realized they thought that I wanted the bag. Damian was already asking the SA to wrap it, and Rai was ready to pay for it.

“Damian, Rai, no. Oh my God. I was just joking. Please don’t buy it for me. Thank you, but you really mustn’t.” I told them hurriedly.

“Are you sure, Kat?” Damian asked me again, making sure of what I’d said.

“Yes, Damian. As I’ve said, I’ll buy it myself if I want it. Thank you, though. And you guys shouldn’t be that easy on spending money for girls you have just met. There are many gold diggers, you know.” I looked at Damian, then Rai, somehow advising them on the basic information they should have known. They seemed like easy targets for gold diggers, and I pitied them.

I noticed Rai was staring at me with a stunned expression. I went to him and asked, “Something in your mind, Rai?” to him. Something about me? I continued in my thought.

“Ah.. no. I’m sorry, it’s just that you are the first.” He smiled his slow smile and extended his hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. Then he went to Damian before I could ask anything back.

I touched my hair that was tucked by Rai. I was the first? The first of what? I thought to myself, looking at Rai. But I didn’t have a chance to ask him at all.

We went for our dinner, and just like every other date, Damian made me laugh a lot, while Rai was mainly quiet. There was a moment when Rai whispered some stuff to Damian, I couldn't hear what he said, but I saw Rai slip Damian something under the table. Damian then nodded, took whatever it was that Rai had slipped him, stood up, told me that he would come back soon, and left.

“Where is Damian going?” I asked Rai.

“He needs to buy something,” was all Rai said.

“More?” I asked out of curiosity. They had been spending a lot just today, and Damian was still going to buy another thing?

“Just one more.” He smiled softly.

I didn’t press on the matter. It was their own money; who was I to ask about how they were spending it?

We spent the time without Damian in comfortable silence. We sat there, eating our dinner, Rai smiling softly every time he looked at me. This time with something in his eyes, his gaze was warm. Was Rai finally warming up to me? Well, at least there was progress, I thought to myself.

I was going to ask him about what he had told me - that I was the first - when I saw Damian approaching us. He had an Hermes paper bag, a big one. Did he buy another bag? I shook my head in disbelief. He sat down, and we joked around till we finished our dinner. It was Rai’s turn to pay, so Damian accompanied me to wait for my driver.

Now is my chance to ask him about Rai, I thought.

“Damian, can I ask you something?” I started asking him.

“Sure, Kat. Ask me anything,” he said with that wicked smile of his.

I caught my breath, and my heart skipped a beat as my eyes locked with his; that whatever question I had wanted to ask seemed to leave my mind.

It was like looking at two glinting orbs of swirling molten gold veiled by thick and long lashes. I was entranced by his eyes.

“Beautiful..” I couldn’t help myself from breathing out the word.

“Kat?” I could hear him ask.

I blushed when I realized that I had been looking at him shamelessly and quickly cleared my throat.

“I’m sorry. You are just so beautiful,” I told him as I looked down toward the floor.

“I’m beautiful?” I heard him ask.

My eyes snapped up to see his face. Did I just tell him that he was beautiful? I felt my face heating up again, looking at how his lips curled up into another one of his flirtatious smiles.

“Your eyes.. I meant your eyes are beautiful,” I corrected myself hurriedly. I was so embarrassed at myself for being so bold.

“Well.. You are beautiful yourself, Kat.” He told me, still with a smile on his face and his golden eyes seemed to glint even brighter. He looked so breathtakingly wicked that I blushed even harder.

I’m beautiful? I’ve heard many people telling me that I’m pretty, cute, or even attractive, but no one has ever told me that I’m beautiful. He must’ve said that out of politeness since I know I’m nowhere near beautiful.

“Thank you,” I managed to thank him for his compliment despite my shyness.

“Do you still want to ask me questions? Or.. you just wanted to tell me that I’m beautiful?” He asked me as he smirked.

He was teasing me! I punched him on his arm, and he laughed out loud.

“Stop teasing me,” I told him. If he teased me again, my head would explode in no time from the way it kept heating up.

“So.. your question?” He asked me again after catching my wrist to stop me from punching him more.

My question? What was I about to ask him? My mind seemed to muddle after looking into his golden orbs.

Ohh.. Rai. I wanted to ask him about Rai.

“Why is Rai so distant? He seems to close himself up if you know what I mean. What’s his secret?” I asked after my mind cleared out.

“Hmm.. Rai does have a secret, but it isn’t my secret to tell, Kat. But don’t worry, he’s a nice guy; he’s a gentleman.” Damian told me.

What could Rai’s secret be? I tried not to be too curious about it, so I continued chatting with Damian while waiting for my driver to keep my mind off Rai.

“What about your secret, Damian?” I asked him after a while, looking straight into his breathtaking liquid gold orbs. Yes, even with his outgoing persona, I could see a haunting in his eyes. Those golden orbs conveyed nothing yet everything to me.

For a split second, he looked taken aback by my question, but he managed to mask it with his smile - a pained and forced smile.

“What do you mean, Kat? I don’t have a secret.” He looked as though he was genuinely confused. He was one fine actor, I thought to myself.

“Don’t worry, Damian. The demons won’t haunt us forever.” I smiled, assuring him. Or was I reassuring myself? I had a demon myself. It wasn’t something I wanted everyone to know, and I was sure it was the same thing with him. I wouldn’t pressure him into telling me about it, so I just let it slide.

He rolled his eyes at me. I was sure he was telling me that I was wrong in thinking that he had a deep, dark secret too. I just smiled softly at him.

At that moment, Rai joined us. When my driver reached the lobby, Rai opened the car’s door and offered his hand to help me so I could get into the car. I looked at his hand and at him; he just smiled softly while offering his hand. I took it and whispered my thanks to him, smiling softly back at him, trying hard not to show what I was feeling inside as our hands touched.

Inside the car, I looked at my hand. This wasn’t the first time I touched a man’s hand, but why did it affect me so much? Just a simple touch made me want to know more about him. It had never happened before. I shook my head to clear all thoughts about Rai, not wanting him to affect me so much.

***

After that day, the three of us spent much time together. I hadn’t had this much fun for so long that it felt refreshing.

Even though we spent most days together, Rai was still quiet. He really guarded himself up. It was like he had built up walls around him so people wouldn't see the real Rai.

I wished he would open up to me. I wanted to know everything about him; I wanted to be his confidant, his strength, and everything else he wanted me to be.

Gosh, I felt like he was a devilish angel trying to manipulate me into wanting him by intentionally being mysterious. I knew he wasn’t that type of man, but how could I reason out these strong feelings I had for him if he wasn’t the one manipulating me?