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Extra Info About The Last Chapter
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2024-10-29 19:42:56About The Songs
Hello!This is a note about the songs that Alec heard from Andrea.I wanted to put the lyrics so you could feel what Alec felt when he heard those words and really felt them in her voice, felt the pain, the agony, and her emotional struggles. He also felt how much she longs for love, warmth, and safety in other songs too.Putting them within the chapter would have made the chapter cost more just for reading song lyrics and that’s why I decided to put them within an author’s note.If you are really interested to read the words that touched Alec’s heart and made him hate her a little less, carry on reading and tell me what you think of them.Here are the songs:The first song she sang; the one she prepared for her audition, is called go easy on me by Adele.There ain’t no gold in this riverThat I’ve been washin’ my hands in foreverI know there is hope in these watersBut I can’t bring myself to swimWhen I am drowning in this silenceBaby, let me inGo easy on me, babyI was still a childDidn’t get the chance toFeel the world around meI had no time to chooseWhat I chose to doSo go easy on meThere ain’t no room for things to changeWhen we are both so deeply stuck in our waysYou can’t deny how hard I’ve triedI changed who I was to put you both firstBut now I give upGo easy on me, babyI was still a childDidn’t get the chance toFeel the world around meHad no time to chooseWhat I chose to doSo go easy on meI had good intentionsAnd the highest hopesBut I know right nowIt probably doesn’t even showGo easy on me, babyI was still a childI didn’t get the chance toFeel the world around meI had no time to chooseWhat I chose to doSo go easy on me**The following songs made his heart ache for her and showed how much she is hurting and struggling to stay strong:-Hurts like hell by FleurieHow can I say this without breakingHow can I say this without taking overHow can I put it down into wordsWhen it's almost too much for my soul aloneI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youAnd it hurts like hellYeah it hurts like hellI don't want them to know the secretsI don't want them to know the way I loved youI don't think they'd understand it, noI don't think they would accept me, noI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youAnd it hurts like hellYeah it hurts like hellDreams fight with machinesInside my head like adversariesCome wrestle me freeClean from the warYour heart fits like a keyInto the lock on the wallI turn it over, I turn it overBut I can't escapeI turn it over, I turn it overI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youAnd it hurts like hell-Cut by PlumbI’m not a strangerNo, I am yoursWith crippled angerAnd tears that still drip soreA fragile flame agedWith miseryAnd when our eyes meetI know you’ll seeI do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe inI’m tired of feeling so numbRelief exists I find it whenI am cutI may seem crazyOr painfully shyAnd these scars wouldn’t be so hiddenIf you would just look me in the eyeI feel alone here and cold hereThough I don’t want to dieBut the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills insideI do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe inI’m tired of feeling so numbRelief exists I find it whenI am cutPainI am not aloneI am not aloneI’m not a strangerNo, I am yoursWith crippled angerAnd tears that still drip soreBut I do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe inI’m tired of feeling so numbRelief exists I found it whenI was cut-Arcade by Duncan LaurenceA broken heart is all that’s leftI’m still fixing all the cracksLost a couple of pieces whenI carried it, carried it, carried it homeI’m afraid of all I amMy mind feels like a foreign landSilence ringing inside my headPlease, carry me, carry me, carry me homeI’ve spent all of the love I savedWe were always a losing gameSmall-town boy in a big arcadeI got addicted to a losing gameOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameDo you love me, love me not?Peeling pieces from my heartAnd my rose-colored lens is goneStill I carry, I carry, I carry onOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameI don’t need your games, game overGet me off this rollercoasterOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game**This song is what Alec hoped she was singing for him and wished she would someday really sing it and mean it to him despite how impossible it may seem at the moment.Dandelions by Ruth B.Maybe it’s the way you say my nameMaybe it’s the way you play your gameBut it’s so good, I’ve never known anybody like youBut it’s so good, I’ve never dreamed of nobody like youAnd I’ve heard of a love that comes once in a lifetimeAnd I’m pretty sure that you are that love of mine‘Cause I’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mineAnd I see forever in your eyesI feel okay when I see you smile, smileWishing on dandelions all of the timePraying to God that one day you’ll be mineWishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the timeI think that you are the one for meCause it gets so hard to breatheWhen you’re looking at meI’ve never felt so alive and freeWhen you’re looking at meI’ve never felt so happyAnd I’ve heard of a love that comes once in a lifetimeAnd I’m pretty sure that you are that love of mineCause I’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mineAnd I see forever in your eyesI feel okay when I see you smile, smileWishing on dandelions all of the timePraying to God that one day you’ll be mineWishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the timeDandelion into the wind you goWon’t you let my darling know?Dandelion into the wind you goWon’t you let my darling know thatI’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mineAnd I see forever in your eyesI feel okay when I see you smile, smileWishing on dandelions all of the timePraying to God that one day you’ll be mineWishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the timeI’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mine<3
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My Alpha, My Hellfire 48
Mila’s POVI walked inside the vast training room with Ryan and instantly got hit with a wave of nostalgia from the time I used to spend hours in this place training for my future role to be a beta for my pack after my father retires.I was his only child and therefore, it was my legacy to carry on the torch after him. Being a woman doesn’t matter. Even though most betas are males, female betas work twice as hard to prove themselves worthy of that responsibility, and that’s what I was trying hard to achieve before we got attacked.To some point, being captured and overtaken proved I was not so worthy after all, and all those hours spent training didn’t matter as I still lost in the end.But here I am again, training with my beta mate, and if alpha Alec ever accepts his mate and I end up also accepting Ryan as mine, it will be my responsibility to protect her; the Luna, with my life. How can I protect her when I couldn’t even protect myself five years ago?“This time will be different.
My Alpha, My Hellfire 49
Alec’s POVI was still in my office listening to her sing from the old feed I saved earlier. I’ve been listening to those songs for far more than I am comfortable to admit.Her voice was soothing and addictive at the same time. Which is completely unreasonable considering how much of a pain in my ass she is being.My brother Adrian mind linked me while I was too absorbed in one of the songs “Hey Alec. I wanted to check in see how you’re doing with everything” he said gently.I paused the video and pulled out my airpods “Hey…. I am fine to some degree. She is being difficult. Not telling me what I want to know. Trying constantly to get under my skin and hurt me with her words and assumptions to get a reaction out of me, and I’m barely holding myself from giving her what she wants” I said calmly.“Understandable, considering she has some unknown score to settle with you. I’m not even going to ask if you hurt her because I know you would never do that, so I’m curious what your plan is ex
My Alpha, My Hellfire 50
Andrea’s POV He was basically on top of me, restraining me with his body while one of his hands held my wrist tightly and the other wrapped around my neck. We were touching each other everywhere and it didn’t help that I was entirely naked against him. If it was anyone else, I would have done the impossible to get him the fuck off me. I would have killed myself trying to pry his hands off me. But my body, my heart, and even my head betrayed me, betrayed how utterly unafraid I am at him restraining me. My head didn’t go to that dark memory that this exact same position should have triggered. My heart didn’t shiver in fear. My soul didn’t scream in fury at being forced and my bond….. My bond with him showed me how utterly disgusted he feels at the prospect of hurting me with what he was doing. He hated himself with a deepness that truly reached far into my stubbornness and made it stop resisting the obvious. He really didn’t want to do this to me if it wasn’t for me forcing his han
My Alpha, My Hellfire 51
Andrea’s POV I stared at him wide eyed, he took me off guard and I found my eyes automatically looking down at his soft looking lips. Is he talking about what I think it is or am I getting this all wrong? What the fuck is wrong with him? Where does he get the nerve to suggest something like that! I was still breathing hard and the more I inhaled, the more my body relaxed as it got filled with his soothing mint scent, more intense now due to him taking my personal space into the next level. His eyes were also traveling between mine and my lips, up this close, the tension between us was off the charts. Our bodies wanting to eliminate every inch of space between us while our minds fighting against it because of our hatred of each other. “How about… I bite your tongue off so you don’t mention giving me something to think about again?” I bit out tightly. His lips stretched into a smile instantly and I cursed myself for lingering on those lips for more than I should have. “If you tast
My Alpha, My Hellfire 52
Andrea’s POVI remained in my position next to the bars as I waited for him to come to me.I checked my bond with him and registered a lot of anger.I couldn’t point the source of his anger though. Was it because I was hurting myself? Because I was hurting him? Or because I messed up his game of driving me crazy by leaving me alone for a very long time and made him come down here to stop me? I was really curious to know which answer was the real reason.The door slid open and he appeared in front of me. He didn’t pause as he came inside and crouched right in front of me with a very hard look on his face, it made my chest tighten in a little bit of fear.His hand darted in my direction and against my better judgment not to allow him to see me scared, I automatically flinched away, turned my face to the side, and hugged myself tighter, bracing for a pain that is about to be imposed by someone other than me.But the pain I was
My Alpha, My Hellfire 53
Alec’s POV“You should have allowed her to see Mila! You were supposed to be kind remember? How is this kindness exactly?” Maddox complained angrily at me.I was sitting against the headboard of my bed, watching the girl stare with her mouth gaping open at the full fridge in confusion through my phone.“Relax buddy, I have a plan. She will see her, but when the time is right not a moment before” I assured him firmly.To be honest, macaroni and cheese is not really something I would normally eat. But since it is the only thing she knows how to do, I had no choice but to agree to it.“You could have asked her to reheat some of the prepared food” Maddox said thoughtfully, trying to figure me out.“No, if she knows how to make that dish, then she must like it a lot. I wanted her to prepare something she really likes. That way, her chances of eating it would be higher. I need to get some food into h
My Alpha, My Hellfire 54
Andrea’s POV I sat on the chair hesitantly. I didn’t want to eat. I seriously had no appetite and just the thought of putting that single bite I agreed to have in my mouth, had my stomach rolling and tightening viciously. But the deal he presented me with was too good to turn down, he knew exactly how to get me to do what he wanted. Striking that deal sure as hell delighted him even though he tried to hide the victory in his eyes from me. He thinks if I made a deal once, then I am prone to do it again if he presents me with something I cannot turn away from, but he’s wrong. Checking on Mila is the only thing that mattered to me. And if I see her now, there will be nothing left to make me agree to anything else. Even some fresh air outside won’t get me talking to him and revealing what he wants to know. “He will learn the truth eventually, you know. You won’t be able to stay locked in that cell for more than a week before you go crazy Andy, I know you too well. So might as well get
My Alpha, My Hellfire 55
Three Days LaterRyan’s POV“Whenever you are ready, Mila. And again, you don’t have to go through with it today. You can stop at any second if you feel like you can’t take it anymore. It will probably be really painful because of how long it’s been and I don’t want you or Tina to push yourselves too far and put yourselves at risk, please” I said gently to her, My fingers aching to hold her cheeks and comfort her because I could feel how much she is stressed right now. But I have been trying to keep things casual and not freak her out for days now. I don’t want to ruin all my progress with her by doing anything to scare her especially when it comes to touching.We’ve been training everyday for the past three days twice. Once in the morning and another session in the evening; upon her request of course.While I was taken by surprise at the beginning when she revealed that she was to be the future beta o
Latest chapter
My Alpha, My Hellfire Acknowledgement
Another book finished and another thank you to everyone who reached this far and finished the book, I’m glad you stuck around and went through this journey with me. I hope it met your expectations and was worth your coins and bonuses. I have to admit, this was the hardest book to write until now. Not for lack of imagination, but more like lack of motivation in addition to multiple sicknesses that overtook me through the course of writing this book, it all made me spend many days not having the right mood to write and I didn’t force it because I would never write unless I was focused one hundred percent otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to my characters nor readers. But I am glad I was finally able to pull through and finish it and it all comes down to one person who kept me going. This book is dedicated to you, you made me have the energy and will to keep writing despite everything. When it felt like no one else was reading the book, you gave me everything I needed to continue writing
My Alpha, My Hellfire Epilogue
The Moon Goddess’s POVIf you ask me what are the best moments I enjoy watching between two mates I have paired together, I will have more than one answer for you.The moment they first meet and their wolves whisper that one word I love hearing the most, the moment they pretend they hate and loathe each other or act as if they hate the fact that they were each other’s mates or even when they get angry with me for mating them, the moment they begin to feel that tiny little spark of love but try as hell to hide it even from themselves, the moment they start with a verbal or physical angry fight and end up kissing each other heatedly, the moment they show their care for each other even when they visibly and stubbornly insist they don’t, the moment they finally accept and admit how much they are madly in love with the other, and even the small little moments they do or say something that shows me how right I was to pair them together…. Like this moment right now for example.It was three
My Alpha, My Hellfire 87
Andrea’s POVAfter what seemed like forever, she nodded her head at him and looked down at his hand that was clamped over her mouth, asking him to remove it so she can talk.“Keep your voice down” he asked gently before removing his hand away, and got off her, giving her a little space to sit up against the wall.She had wavy, long, brown hair that she kept tied in a low pony tail. Her brown eyes were gazing at Robert uncertainly, unsure about his claim that he wouldn’t harm her even if she agrees to help.“How will you break the spell on the bracelet? Alpha King is the only one who has the key to unlock it” she said in a small, raspy voice.“Are you going to help us?” he asked pressingly before answering her earlier question.“If you promise to let me live after I uncast it. Give me your word” she said tensely.“You have my word. As soon as you uncast the spell, your freedom is yours. You can either portal out of here and go anywhere you want or you can stay until the battle is over
My Alpha, My Hellfire 86
Andrea’s POVRobert was busying himself with transferring the food from the trolley to the small round table when he got Jude’s text.He took his phone out of his black jeans pocket and visibly stiffened in his place after reading it.He started typing after a few seconds and Jude read his reply out loud “There is no way I am doing anything to hurt her. Find another way while I feed her, she’s starving”Davina said heartily “Ethan please! Is there anyway you can…. I don’t know! Cut the feed or something! Make it look like the camera broke down. They probably won’t interrupt him just to fix it in the middle of his paid session right?”“That won’t work, a camera once broke down during one of the sessions and they…. moved us to another room instantly” Mila said nervously before lowering her head down sadly.Ryan squeezed her shoulder supportively and raised her head back up by touching her chin gently.They looked at each other without exchanging words and she nodded her head at him emot
My Alpha, My Hellfire 85
Andrea’s POV“A man by the name of Ryan Evans told me about this place. He’s a dear friend of mine and we regularly keep in touch. Told me he bought a slave from you a while back and seemed pretty satisfied with his purchase. It tempted me to visit this place and experience it for myself” Robert said egotistically.Ryan put his arm around Mila protectively after what Robert said. She leaned into him and clutched his shirt tightly.It was the answer Alec and Ryan suggested for Robert to say. It seemed fitting considering he met him pretty recently and would most probably remember Ryan’s name more than any other name Robert might come up with to avoid any suspicion and further questioning by alpha King.Alpha King’s face split into a bright grin as he nodded his head enthusiastically “Oh yes, I remember beta Ryan. I also remember that slave he purchased, she was a long time favorite of mine. It was a little sad to part with her because she was pretty useful around here but well…beta Rya
My Alpha, My Hellfire 84
Andrea’s POVI released a deep sigh for what felt like the thousand times in the past hour alone.I was barely holding it together but I could feel that control slowly slipping the closer we reach to the go time of the battle.Alec made sure to keep me by his side the entire day today, knowing how much I need him by my side for as long as possible before he leaves.Yesterday was a turning point for us, not just because we made love multiple times and confessed our love to each other, but also because I realized how much his love for me got me out of my darkness and gave me a new happy beginning I never thought I would be able to have before he came along. Being with him takes all my fears and pain away. Being with him makes me feel blessed, safe, and happy.That’s why I was slowly getting restless the closer it gets to his departure. I needed him like I needed air, like I needed my beating heart.I cannot lose him, not now, not ever.Everyone was ready and on alert. All the warriors f
My Alpha, My Hellfire 83
Andrea’s POV“You have no idea how much you telling her you love her really affected her Alec” I mind linked him affectionately.It’s been two hours since our wolves officially met each other and they are still inseparable until now. They won’t let us shift back yet despite Alec having a ton of responsibilities to do and prepare for tomorrow.“She’s truly adorable, Maddox is totally smitten” Alec said lovingly.I chuckled and asked him lightly “I want to talk to him as well, don’t shift right away ok?”“He wants to meet you too. I finally got him to start saying goodbye, they are reluctant but he does understand that I have somethings that need to be done before tomorrow. I’m sorry I’m going to have to leave you on your own until dinner” he said apologetically.“Don’t worry about me I will hang out with Mila. I love you”“I love you too, Andy”I shifted back into my body while Maddox stayed in his form, gazing at me with glowing light blue eyes.I stepped closer to him, I didn’t need
My Alpha, My Hellfire 82
Alec’s POV Her outburst took me a little by surprise but it kind of made me admire her more. Okay, yes I was trying to protect her from the scary truth, I didn’t want to make her imagine the worst case scenario or make her fears worsen for tomorrow, but she also had a point… kind of. She’s not eight anymore. She will become my Luna and she needs to learn to remain strong in the face of any threat or doom that might or might not come at us in the following years. If she falls apart, the rest of the pack will fall apart as well so she needs to keep her fears well hidden and stand strong despite everything. A part of me wanted to keep her protected and hide her from ever getting hurt or scared again, but a bigger part completely understood her. I said she isn’t weak before and I meant it. She is really strong, so strong because despite falling apart consistently in the past few days, she still picked herself up and handled everything that was thrown at her despite how hard it was to t
My Alpha, My Hellfire 81
Alec’s POV“Say it again” I asked softly, my soul requesting to hear this sentence over and over again. I realized that I too longed for that sentence to be said to me. I wasn’t as deprived of love as she was for the past ten years, but let’s just say it’s been a rough month that had me realizing that I needed her in my life now more than ever and was thankful; despite the very horrible circumstances in which we met, that I had finally found her… My fated mate, the one chosen for me by the moon goddess. I pray she forgives me for cursing her out at first because I seriously thought she had it out for me for making this girl my mate, but now I know she was really giving me exactly who I deserve to spend the rest of my life loving and caring for.She smiled, knowing how much her admitting her feelings to me made me very delighted.“I love you so hard, Alec” she said tenderly with a bright smile, the brightest
