03 Emily’s Struggles

Emily,

Several weeks have passed, and we haven't received any news about Jake. It's as if he vanished completely off the surface of the earth. Unable to feel our bond, I was starting to fear that he was gone forever. However, I desperately held onto the hope that he would return.

I found myself sitting at the Alpha office every day, attending to pack matters. The alpha’s office had become my makeshift workspace.

Taking charge was tough, but nobody else could do it.

David, Luis, and Claus were supportive and helped me navigate through the process, but despite our efforts, everything seemed to be falling apart.

The situation was unfavourable, and we lacked the necessary resources.

The stress and lack of sleep had taken a toll on me, visible in my exhausted appearance. I had dark circles and pale skin, no longer resembling my former self. It felt as if Jake's disappearance had drained the spirit from me and our pack.

I had a bad headache, so I rested my head on the table to try to catch some sleep. I doubted I had succeeded in getting some rest when my brother entered.

I managed to sit up and look at him.

He had brought some letters, but I dreaded seeing them. They were either bills or threats from people Jake owed money to, who were now targeting our pack. Some even accused me of hiding Jake to avoid his debts, putting us in a difficult situation.

I also found out that Jake had taken loans in my name, adding to our debts and ruining our credit.

I blamed myself for not being more careful and allowing myself to be deceived by love.

Speculations about Jake's disappearance varied, with some suggesting he fled due to pressure and others saying he was a con man that took me for all I had and fled when there was nothing more to take. There were some that believed an enemy had captured him. Neither possibility was comforting. I felt like I could break down at any moment, but I kept telling myself to hold on a little longer.

My brother sat down across from me, placing the opened envelopes on the desk. The look on his face revealed that the news was not good. I got up, went to pour myself a drink to calm my nerves, and then turned to face David, asking him to speak.

"Tell me," I managed to say, slumping onto the couch, preparing myself for potentially devastating news.

"Bills, letters from the bank, and threats from several alphas—Alpha James of the Nightwalkers, Alpha Keith of the Dawners, Alpha Reuben of Shadow Wolf, and Alpha Richard of Pine," he revealed, and I let out a sigh.

"What should we do about this?" I asked him, and he looked at me. It was clear he had no answer.

"I've decided that we should sell some of our lands to obtain the money we need for imports and also pay welfare financial support of our pack. The pack members have been trying to grow their food, but it's not enough, and it will take time before we have a substantial harvest. Many of them have also attempted to find jobs elsewhere but without success. Moreover, other packs have denied them entry, leaving them stuck here, just like us," David explained. I nodded, having shed so many tears that I felt empty inside.

"How about we arrange a meeting with these alphas? Maybe I can speak to them and appeal for understanding or ask for more time," I suggested, even though I sensed that it might not be a good idea. I knew the situation was dire, but I couldn't just sit idly by without trying to do something. Time was not on our side, and everything was falling apart.

"Very well, I will try to arrange a meeting with these alphas first, as they are the closest to us. Hopefully, they will be willing to listen," he agreed, and I looked at him gratefully.

"You'll come with me, won't you?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Anywhere you go, I'll go too, big sis," he said, and I felt a deep sense of gratitude for his unwavering support.

It was only because of him and the support of our pack members that I managed to hold on in such challenging times.

We discussed extensively how to improve our savings. We had already used up a significant portion, and I dreaded asking David for the remaining balance to avoid a panic attack. Despite my reluctance to know the exact figures, I knew our savings would soon be depleted.

To secure some funds, I decided to sell one of our fertile lands to a neutral party. Although it would have been safer to obtain a loan; thanks to Jake's activities, it was not an option for us. We had to find alternative ways to generate income.

By the following week, David had arranged a meeting with some of the alphas who were searching for Jake. However, the meetings did not go well. Some alphas outright refused to see me, while others accused me of being involved in Jake's crimes and hiding him. They believed I was pretending and putting on an act. In the end, my attempt to buy time only worsened the situation. After a day filled with humiliation, anger, accusations, and despair, we returned to our settlement, only to find it in darkness.

"What happened to the electricity?" I asked, observing the lanterns and candles that provided the only source of light.

I looked at my brother for an explanation, but he remained silent.

"Tell me," I demanded, raising my voice. Frustration consumed me, and his silence was not helping.

"Please, Em, getting angry won't solve our predicament," David said, avoiding answering my question.

"Pull over, now!" I said, and he did so.

Stepping out of the vehicle, I approached the edge of the woods. Taking a deep breath, I let out a scream, not caring if it strained my voice. I needed to release my pent-up emotions. The frustration was overwhelming, and it was breaking me.

I had humiliated myself, begged, and pleaded, achieving nothing all day only to come home to darkness. Our settlement was cut off from the power supply, how would our people survive? How would our pack endure? At that moment, I despised my husband more than ever.

"I hate you!" I yelled into the woods, regardless of who might hear me.

"You did this! You did this to us! I hate you!" I repeated those words until tears streamed down my face.

Kneeling on the sand, I dug my fingers into the ground, crying and desperate for answers. At that moment, I felt like running away, leaving everything behind, but I couldn't. I couldn't escape my responsibilities. I was in hell, and it was my burden to bear, all mine. I sat on the sand and wept, feeling utterly lost.

A week later, my heart sank as I witnessed the pack members gathering outside my humble abode. Deep down, I knew this day would come. I couldn't help but admire their patience, enduring eight long weeks of hardship before reaching their breaking point.

I peered through the window, observing their weary faces etched with anger and desperation, clutching placards that bore their frustrations.

Some of them had visibly withered away, mere shadows of their former selves. We could only sustain ourselves for so long on the meat we hunted in the woods; we needed more than that to survive. Unfortunately, the harsh reality was that we couldn't afford basic necessities like work, electricity, or even food.

The impending land sale was our beacon of hope, a chance to acquire much-needed funds that could potentially buy us some time and respite. However, deep down, I knew that it was nothing but a futile attempt to delay the inevitable doom that loomed over us, the Howlers.

With an anguished expression, I observed their repeated chants, desperately searching for a solution that I, too, couldn't provide.

"Do something, Luna Emily! Why won't you do something!" their voices pierced through the air, and I knew it was time to address them. Reluctantly, I rose from the comfort of my couch, preparing myself to confront the enraged crowd that had assembled outside my residence.

David, filled with concern for my well-being, questioned my decision.

"What are you doing?" he asked, worry etched on his face.

"Someone needs to address them. It is their right to know what is going on. I was the one who brought Jake into this pack and allowed him to wreak havoc upon us. I have to face them," I replied, determined to take responsibility for the dire situation we found ourselves in. David shook his head, attempting to absolve me of any blame.

"It wasn't your fault, Em. Jake deceived us all, hiding the true state of our finances and the mounting debts. You had no way of knowing. Wherever he may be now, I'm certain he regrets his actions. We can’t search for him in these trying times," David reassured me, but Luis scoffed, insisting that Jake had simply run away.

Perhaps there was a glimmer of hope in that possibility. I clutched the mark on my neck, a reminder of our bond, desperately clinging to the belief that Jake was still alive somewhere. Yet, when I attempted to connect with our bond, I felt nothing. The emptiness was even more unbearable than our current predicament.

Summoning every ounce of strength, I stepped outside my dwelling, standing on the porch to address the agitated pack members. David, Luis, and Claus joined me, ready to protect and support me in case the crowd got out of hand.

I stood and looked at everyone, making sure I made eye contact with most of them, letting them see that we were in the same predicament and I suffered the same as them. Baring my soul and trying to give them the little hope I had. Soon they became quiet, giving me room to speak to them, uninterrupted.

"I deeply regret that it has come to this. Please understand that we are doing everything within our power to resolve this crisis. I implore you all to bear with us just a little longer," I pleaded, but their voices erupted in a chorus of complaints.

"How much longer, Luna? How much longer?" one of them shouted, frustration lacing every word.

"Some of us are sick and unable to access proper medical care.

Our meagre diet leaves us feeling undeserving.

There is no electricity to keep our homes warm.

Our entire settlement is crumbling.

We have become a laughingstock in town.

Other packs treat us like miscreants.

When will you solve the problem, Luna?

We are trapped here.

No other pack will accept us, so we're left to suffer.

You must do something.

It was you who brought Alpha Jake upon us, and you must find a way to fix it," the spokesman for the mob proclaimed, his words piercing my heart because they were true.

Jake wasn’t a Howler, he didn’t have a pack when I met him. He was a lone wolf, and I had brought him in and made our settlement his home. He was sweet, innocent and loving. I guess even though he was an Alpha breed, leadership wasn’t his calling.

In a desperate attempt to contain my emotions, I replied, tears threatening to spill.

"I will be attending the Alpha summit in two days, pleading with the alphas to show us mercy and offer assistance. I promise, with every fibre of my being, that I will do everything in my power to make amends." I said, pleading with the crowd to give me time.

The crowd dispersed, realising that their demands would not be met.

As I watched them disperse, a sinking feeling overwhelmed me.

Jake had not only shattered the pack, but he had also shattered me. Whether his actions were deliberate or born out of ignorance, the outcome was the same – devastation.