Seconds after the call, I remain on the couch, feeling like an asshole. I was too harsh. Maybe I wasn’t harsh enough. El has always been a cry baby. She is the type to cry when shouted at even when at fault.
I groan into my palms. I never wanted this.
Faint footsteps echo in the background, I straighten up and force a smile on my lips when I see Bren. She stops in front of me and my heart breaks at her tear-filled eyes. I am not given a chance to talk, she crawls to my laps and hides her face in my chest. My arms tighten around her, I rest my jaw on her head.
“Don’t be so mad at Mummy,” Bren says against my chest. After the initial annoyance of knowing she eavesdropped passes, my hands flatten on her lower back. She looks up to me. I try and fail to smile. Her brown eyes so eerily similar to El’s peer deep into my soul and I press a kiss to her hair. “Please. Forgive her.”
Like she forgave me for stepping in to help her company
These days, I get so tired of writing. I don't know why, maybe it's my body's way of telling me I need to take a break. If I do decide to take a break, I'll give a heads up. Thank you for reading!
Vincent drops his pen to the table cluttered with files. His receptionist notified him of my presence yet he appears ruffled. I take another step inside his office and drop to the chair without an invitation.We don’t speak.I glance at the window overlooking the tall buildings and skyscrapers in one row. There is a pot of flowers on the windowsill. I smile at it. El has one of those for putting the flowers I send her. A familiar heaviness presses against my chest, my fingers trail the edge of his wooden desk and I exhale a soft, quick breath.“Took you long enough,” Vincent finally says.The longer I stare, the less he looks like her. All I see are black, bitter eyes that are nothing like Nicole’s. She never mentioned a brother. She never mentioned a sibling. She didn’t like discussing her family. I didn’t like talking about mine so I was fine with that. I pick a pencil from his desk and spin it in a circle
I am not a good person. I have never pretended to be one. But I am definitely not a liar. It is beneath me.For the same unknown reason I confessed the truth about Brianna, I reply, “That’s what I wanted people to believe.” He swipes his hands across his face and groans. “Vincent, we can end this today. We can end this beef right now. Delete that video and we both move on with our lives. Forget this ever happened.”Gone is the broken man from a few minutes ago when he barks out a laugh. He shakes his head slowly.“Bastard. I’ll ruin you, Brandon Stark.” Vincent’s words are as icy as his eyes. I sigh. His sister is gone, his anger won’t bring her to life. “I’ll cause your wife and kids so much pain they will wish they were dead.”My back stiffens but I maintain my composure. I don’t know how but I meet his gaze head on. If he had looked down, he might have seen me gri
Getting coherent words out of El proves impossible. All she does is cry until someone else collects the phone from her. I press my knuckles to my forehead as the new voice comes on. A man. I start pacing. The man’s voice is familiar but I can’t place it. He says something. Something about my little girls and an accident on the frozen lake in the park. A gasp locks in my throat, I grip the edge of the sink until my knuckles turn white. My eyes sting with tears. No. I shake my head. I don’t want to hear the rest of it. But he won’t stop talking. He won’t stop with his bad news. She’s in ICU. The doctors are doing the best they can. I have to get there. Eyes shut tight, I release my breath slowly, too scared to ask any question. She. Who? My feet move before my brain processes anything. I grab my keys and rush to the garage. Everything is a blur as I struggle to open the door of the car and get inside. My arms tremble violently as my ha
A beep sounds from the EKG. I lift my head slowly, expecting to see that flat line. But I see something else. I jump to my feet, walking past El to stand in front of the machine. The line isn’t flat anymore, there’s a triangle.Another beep. El stops whimpering. She wipes her nose with the hem of her shirt and staggers to a stop beside me. We both stare at the machine but she’s the first one to react. She screams for the doctor, a nurse, walking to the door as fast as she’s talking. I don’t run after her, I move behind Bren’s bed and touch her feet.She’s cold. I trace the sole of her feet but she doesn’t flinch. The oxygen mask on her face makes it hard for me to look at her. Brianna had one of those for so long the sight of it freaks me out. I hate masks.“You will be okay,” I whisper and squeeze her feet. My girls are fighters. “You must be okay.”There is another triangle on
“Should we sing for her?” Wyn asks. We are in Bren’s room, by her bedside. I rest my jaw on Wyn’s hair and slide my arms around her waist. “Don’t do anything.” The little minion lodged between my legs groans. “You can talk to her later,” I say. Wyn sandwiches her sister’s hand between hers, she doesn’t sing, she doesn’t talk. Seconds pass, I leave both of them to do what twins do and make myself comfortable on the couch across the room. I sniff my armpit and make a face. I need a fucking bath, food too but I am not leaving until my princess wakes. The ceiling is plain, same as the grey walls. Sad, dull and boring. I push myself into a sitting position. Wyn is whispering something to her sister. It must have been funny because she giggles and a smile springs to my lips. I am not sure staying here is good for her. But she looks happy as she caresses her twin’s cheek. I should attend to my missed calls and check on Brianna but I want to
Bren is fine. She has to stay a few more days to be properly monitored but she’s fine. She’s perfect.I toss and turn on the bed. Sleep is far from me. I don’t get it. I have had my bath. I’m in a comfortable bed, I should be able to sleep but El’s scent is everywhere. She has been gone for months. Why is my nose picking up on her smell now? I punch the pillow and throw the covers off me. Joshua gave me seven hours to get some rest. Two of those have been spent trying and failing to sleep. My mind is clustered with dumb thoughts.Another phone call to the hospital confirms Bren is fine. Joshua is the best person I call. I am tempted to ask Joshua about El but I don’t. He mumbles something about Wyn and I nod, she is in her room.“Yeah, she’s fine.” I ruffle my hair. “Joshua, I have to go.” Talking to Joshua increases my guilt. Will our relationship change if he finds out my pla
Brendan is the father.It doesn’t make sense. Then it makes a lot of sense. The universe must loathe my being. I shouldn’t exist.There is a tiny birthmark at the base of my neck, right on my scar. I forget about it all the time. Some people believe the placement of your birthmark tells the story of how you were killed in your former life. I must have been stabbed in the neck in my past life. I must have been a bigger asshole than I currently am so they decided sending me off in grand style was the only way to do it. Even in this current life, the universe is still punishing me.When will I ever catch a break?I shouldn’t have opened the diary. I should have listened to my guts. Waited till I was home to read it.A soft hand weaves into my hair, I bring Bren’s palm to my lips and place a kiss on the heel of her palms. She smiles. Will she still smile if she finds out Daddy is a brother killer? Will sh
The family lawyer is talking too much. I swear I want to punch him. Everyone talks too much these days when all I want is peace and quiet. Some time alone with my girls. I can listen to them blabber all day.I push the divorce letters across to him, he shakes his head. “Expired. They don’t count anymore.”Oh. I roll the letters and shove them into my pocket. El doesn’t have to know. Lamar drops his briefcase on the table and pulls out a file. I wave off the waitress who approaches us and my hands close around the mug of coffee I ordered earlier. Steam escapes the mug, I inhale and take a greedy sip of the coffee.“What now?” I ask him.Lamar pushes his sunglasses into his hair and tucks his pen in the middle of his notepad. “A redraft if you still want to go ahead.” He folds his hands on the table, his eyes scroll over my body. “The court can be avoided.” Writing on his pad for a minu