“Baby.”
A smile curves my lips. I roll to the side without opening my eyes to reach for my wife.
“Good morning, baby,” I mumble through the haze in my head, giving up on the search for El.
I wait for the kisses, the hugs, her warm body pressing to mine but nothing happens. I touch something soft, one eye opens and I sit up once I see the twins. Her side of the bed is still warm but El is missing.
Someone said baby. I’m sure of that. Squinting at them, I ask, “What did you call me?”
“Baby,” Wyn answers.
She is sporting the same gown as Bren. It has been months since they matched outfits and my heart warms at the sight. I inch closer to pull them in for a hug, they break away from it fast with a frown.
Bren sits on one side of me, Wyn takes the other side. I am blessed among girls. “Why does Mummy call you baby?” Bren looks so serious asking
We are in our cocoon of happiness when El says, “I like you, Brandon.” She brings my hand to her chest and I touch my forehead to hers. We still need to talk about the diary, Brianna’s future. “I really do.” “Love,” I correct. “You love me, El.” “I love you, Brandon.” Her eyes close, she breathes me in. I feel like an ass for ruining the moment but we cannot truly move forward if she doesn’t know the truth. I fear she will reject Brianna. But I shouldn’t be scared. This is El. “I owe you an apology too,” I say. My fingers run through her hair and she hums in approval. El wraps herself around me, hides her face in my chest. My jaw rests on her head, the position lends me strength I didn’t know I needed and my shoulders fall in relief. This shouldn’t be hard to talk about. “For what?” “For what I said. You were not the reason my life was falling apart at that point.” It was as a result of my mistakes. If I didn’
“So Vincent gave you this?” El holds up the worn-out diary. I nod. She stares at it in shock. “Wow.”“He wanted to see Brianna,” I explain.“Because he’s her uncle,” she finishes for me. “I cannot believe this.” Neither did I at first.She flips a few more pages and raises her head. “He has seen Brianna, right?” Another nod. Her curiosity is cute as she devours the content of Nicole’s diary, something I have not been able to bring myself to do. I know the most important bit already. “Do you need to seek his permission before adopting her?” “Dunno.” But I will most likely not be doing that. El adjusts her legs on my lap and pushes herself up the pillow with one elbow. I don’t know why I’m reluctant to tell her the truth of his death. “Are you done?”She raises the diary and shrieks. “Done?
Our first stop is Joshua’s house. El presses the horn so hard I have to plug my fingers in my ears. She’s one wild woman. My wild woman. The front door of Joshua’s house flies open. He doesn’t look happy.Why is he at home anyways?Joshua storms to our car. “What the fuck, El?”She opens the door for him. “Get in.”Joshua sends me a careful look. We don’t get to meet bossy El often. We don’t know how to handle her. Joshua slides into the backseat without a word, he fixes me a stern frown through the rearview mirror. I shrug. I have no idea what’s going on yet except for our location. Yeah, she is driving us home.We resume the drive, at intervals, El’s eyes dart to the GPS. I should be driving but the stubborn woman won’t let me. Joshua’s eyes bore holes into the back of my head but I’m uninterested in putting him out of his misery. He didn&r
El is quiet.She doesn’t tell me what Mother told her. I maintain my facade of ignorance throughout the ride home. Joshua spares me worried glances through the rearview mirror as El curls against me in the backseat. She’s in shock.On her order, Joshua stops at a supermarket for her to get some stuff. It takes only a few minutes and she returns to the car with a paper bag she makes both of us swear never to touch without her consent. Once Joshua drives into our compound, she shoots out of the car without so much as a backward glance.El’s not changing her mind about us making babies, is she? If she doesn’t want more kids, I can learn to live with it but I would appreciate it if she told me that. We need to communicate better. I’ll listen to her.Joshua gets out of the car at the same time as me. He hugs me tight. I hug him tighter.Questions linger in his eyes but he doesn’t voice any of them ou
El won’t stop squirming. Maybe because I am fingering her. Her eyelids flutter as she tries not to make a sound, the naughty part of me takes that as a challenge and I push another finger inside her vagina. She glares at me through the mirror, her nails sink into the drawer but I don’t stop. I don’t want to stop.We’re getting ready for the doctor’s appointment. We need to make sure before we announce it.El’s phone rings. Her mother. Mischief crawls into my eyes, my leg goes between hers to separate them. The warning in her eyes inspires me to be naughty, I unzip her skirt and drag her panties down her ass.“Pick,” I whisper into her ear. I cup her ass. “Pick, baby.” She moans in protest and I spank her. “Pick.”The phone stops ringing, El heaves a sigh. I chuckle when the phone begins ringing. My dick pokes her cunt, a whimper leaves her lips and she flattens her h
El’s stomach is covered in a clear gel. I wink when her head rolls to my side. The doctor runs a hand held object over her belly while paying attention to the screen. At first, there’s nothing on the screen, then I see it. A white blob on the black screen. His finger halts on the screen, directly above the blob. “Can you hear it?” he asks. I dart a glance at El. “No?” He moves that object on her stomach again and my hand tightens around hers. “If you listen closely, you can hear the heartbeats.” I nod at the screen, paying rapt attention to what he is trying to tell us. Then I hear it—the gentle sound of a thumping heart. El does too. I palm her hands between mine. Our baby. “Nails start to form at this point, see?” The image on the screen is a bit blurry like we are watching a movie on a black and white TV. I don’t see nails or hair or anything he talks about. I just see my boy or the tiny human that’s my boy. He looks big.
“Are you tired of me yet?” I tease.Ava doesn’t find the humour in my statement. Her face is void of emotions. It’s weird because this is my first time seeing her without a hint of a smile. She drops her notepad on the stool beside her couch.“A bit.”My expression dampens. It prompts her to sit up and offer me a small smile.“You missed my calls. Ignored my texts and emails.” Hearing her list them out makes me sound like an asshole. “We have discussed this before. If you need a break, it’s okay but you must inform me before going MIA. We were making such great progress and you disappeared without a word.” It feels like I am getting scolded by my favourite teacher. She lets out a small sigh. “I was worried.”I kick out my legs. “I’m sorry.”“It’s fine. How are you?”Perfect and living my best life. It has
El’s eyes are wide with joy. She throws her arms around my neck. “Congratulations.”Congratulations are in order but this is not the best part. I’m giddy with excitement but somewhat still calm. We get out of the car with our hands linked. The girls are not in sight. They should be ready to leave, if they haven’t already. I don’t want El to meet them at home or it will ruin our plans to leave.They will stay over at Joshua until the end of the week, then spend the weekend with their grandparents. I haven’t called Vincent yet to update him. We will meet later today to discuss the visiting arrangements. I’ll talk and he will listen. It’s the best he can do since nobody has talked about punishing him for his sins.To be fair, no one cares anymore. We are glad to move past that dark stage of our life. It’s like we don’t want to confront anything that might ruin this bubble of happiness. Mo
ElnaI shut the door to our bedroom and tiptoe inside. Brandon doesn’t stir. He’s dead asleep. Or so I think till I near the bed and drop the package—his valentine gift on the nightstand. He puckers his lips for a kiss and I gladly indulge him. His hands grasp my butt, he pulls me up to straddle him and I move slowly against his erection without breaking eye contact. “Are they asleep now?” “Yeah. Finally. Alleluia,” I reply with a laugh. “Maybe I shouldn’t have given them the day off.” Silly me thought it would be great to give the twins nannies Valentine’s Day off so our family could do something special. Bad choice. With two one-year old attention demanding kids, I need all the help I can get. To make it worse, this year’s valentine fell on a Sunday and most of last night was spent trying to quiet the babies. “Maybe.” Brandon captures my lips. The kiss is lazy but it soon grows urgent. His tongue searches for mine, twirlin
The girls are dancing in a circle. Wyn is in the middle of the circle trying to perform a break dance. I laugh at her failed attempts, holding El closer to me as we sway gently to a rhythm in my head. El wrinkles her nose in disappointment, her fingers intertwine with mine and I spin her in a lazy circle.“You’re not supposed to be laughing at them,” she says as their mother dearest. “You cheer them up.”True. But it was funny. Wyn waves, Bren does the same. Brianna does not spare us a glance. Like me and El, she has two left legs. She can’t dance but she is better than us. I wrap my arms around El from behind, tucking my head into her shoulder. She smells delicious. I can’t wait to have her alone.The music filters into my ears, I close my eyes and the lyrics wrap around my heart.“What’s Josh doing?”My eyes fly open. Josh is at one of the two canopies with Joy. Most of the g
It’s today. Our vow renewal. To be honest, it feels like we are getting married again. This time, we have the people we care most about to celebrate the reunion with us and it makes me anxious. Joshua claps my shoulder. “Relax.” It’s so easy for him to say that but he doesn’t get it. The love of my life is out there. I haven’t seen my wife since yesterday because her mother believes it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. We stare into the floor-length mirror, our matching charcoal grey suits are differentiated by our ties. He’s my best man. “Is Joy coming?” he asks. Sophia will be in attendance but I can’t speak for her friend. I don’t say a word to him but I know this won’t work. Joy is older than Joshua. If her attitude towards him on my birthday is a sign to go by, she doesn’t like him. Some parts of me feel like this is an infatuation that will die soon. It is taking too long for him to get over her but I hope
The cries of our newborn babies snap me out of my sleep. I jerk up and check the time on the alarm clock. 7 pm. I groan into my hands.My life has changed since their arrival. My sleeping pattern has worsened and my knowledge about babies has increased.Babies poop a lot. They cry too damn much. They don’t need a reason to cry, just existing is enough reason for them to cry. It is exhausting.Brandon Langalethu Stark is the louder one. Brendan Lelethu Stark is quieter. Annika gave them their middle names with approval from their godfather, Joshua. Lelethu means ours while Langalethu, short for Langa means our sunshine. I must admit, he hasn’t been a ray of sunshine for a while. He’s a big ball of noisy energy. El rouses from her sleep at the incessant sound of her crying babies. I love my sons but they cry too goddamn much. Their cries are coordinated. Once one of them starts crying, the other twin is bound to join in.
Chaos breaks out. Everyone is all over me and El, saying so many things at once. The smile sitting on her face disappears. Tears fill her eyes, her nails dig into my shoulders so hard I’m sure it will leave a mark.She is hurting.Annika is speaking so fast, asking about the baby things. Mother is telling everyone to calm down. El is crying, she doesn’t want to go to the clinic with a wet dress. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t present for the first pregnancy. Mother pushes me aside and helps El to her feet. I almost scream. Is she allowed to stand? What if our kids fall out?I rush to El’s side. Mother guides her through a breathing exercise as what she calls a contraction hits El. It must have really hurt. She balls my shirt and makes a pained sound that stops everyone in their tracks. More than six pairs of worried eyes pin her in a stare but she focuses on only me. My baby.“I’m okay,”
Choruses of happy birthday fill the air. I am dragged away from El before I can kiss her back or utter a reply. I was so worried she would forget about today I forgot it myself. Mother nudges me with her hip and grins. Well played. Even the girls were in on it.Joshua claps my arm. “Happy birthday, brother.” This idiot. He called me during the day and didn’t wish me anything. “Many happy returns.”We cheers to my new age and Bren pulls me to the living room where the real party is happening. The place has been redecorated. There are balloons tied to the wall, a table with a bigger cake on it and the words, “Happy Birthday, my love” written on it.There’s another cake. Well, there are three more cakes. Instead of my love, one has son, the other has brother and the last one has Daddy written on it. A cake from each of the most important people in my lives. My wife. My kids. My brother and my parents
El sneaks an arm around my waist. Her belly is bigger now. Our babies will be showing up soon. She leans on me for support while we wait for the private elevator. It was her idea to get out of my office to buy crackers. A little fun fact: We have boxes of crackers at home. If she wasn’t pregnant, her attitude would have been suspicious but with pregnancy, anything goes. Rule number 123432444: Never argue with a heavily pregnant woman. It will end in chaos. We enter the elevator with my hand on her lower back. Our reflections on the metallic wall smiles at us and El laughs. I set my suitcase on the ground and palm her face for a proper kiss. With the pregnancy due, her office has become mine. She spends more time with me than anyone else. I love it. Her lips taste like donuts. We ordered some an hour after she arrived to “pick” me. I will never let her drive in her state but she enjoys using that term even if she was brought here by a driver. She r
El won’t stop staring at her ring.We are in the backseat of the car heading to the hotel for dinner when she reaches up to give me a kiss. Leaning on me, she smiles at her ring again. I think I did right by her. Her mother will be happy. We had a long, loud, argument about this. About the vow renewals too but that will be after El delivers.“I have two rings,” El says, hand stretched out in front of her. She rolls Mother’s ring on her middle finger. “Does that make me Lord of the rings?”“Lady of the rings, maybe.”My phone vibrates with a text from Joshua. He wants to know if I did it. I facepalm at his request of a picture. It’s one more thing I have to get better at. Capturing the memories on camera. I nudge El with my elbow to show her the text. Her hand eventually lowers, she nods eagerly and strikes a pose, flashing her teeth in all the selfies. She knows she is pretty.
I tilt the laptop and the girls’ faces occupy the screen. Wyn is on top of Bren but her twin doesn’t seem to mind. Brianna is on one side of the bed, smiling at the camera. They are all lying on their stomachs. El settles down beside me, I prop the laptop on my knees and slip my hand into her shirt from behind. She shoots me a warning look. I bat my lashes like the cute baby daddy I am.“I miss Mummy,” Wyn says.My back meets the headboard and El rests her head on my shoulder. “What about me?”Again, she and Bren are rocking the same gowns. Wyn frowns. “I miss you too, I guess.”El bellows out a laugh. Evil girls. In a few months, I’ll have my boys. She wraps an arm around my waist to soothe me. It works for only a second before my attention returns to the laptop. Bren is grinning.“How are you?” El asks.“Fine,” three of them chorus.&