My car grinds to a halt in front of the girls school. Their arms wrap around me from behind, hair tickling my skin as they smother me with kisses I return with equal fervency. I release them so they can get their bags, heart thudding and chest tightening at the realisation I will not be seeing them until the weekend.
Craning my neck to give them final kisses to their cheeks, I murmur, “Love you two.”
The backdoor opens, my insides clench painfully, the weekend went so fast. “Love you too, Daddy.”
They don’t get out of the car, I glance at them through the rearview mirror. Bren nudges Wyn with her elbow, a frown meets my lips and my worry evolves into something bigger. They are hiding something.
“Daddy?” Bren speaks up when Wyn doesn’t, I unfasten my seatbelt and join them at the backseat. Wyn closes the door, Bren climbs to my laps while fiddling with my tie. I grab her hand to stay her movement, my lips move into a smile at how ridiculous
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The hall is sectioned into rows with chairs clumped together on each side of the wide gap at the centre, the tall windows provide natural light that casts shadows on the floor. Parents file in quietly, I occupy the seat beside El, she stiffens but relaxes seconds later. The PTA president moves to the podium, after a brief introduction, she switches to the reason for the meeting. I try and fail to pay attention, eventually tuning her out. How can I not? My beautiful wife is by my side, not scowling or frowning at me, just seated with a ghost of a smile on her lips. It almost feels like old times, only that I would have held her hand. Without thinking, I lace our fingers, stifling the urge to laugh at the deadly glare she shoots me. Elna is always civil to me in public, almost nice and this place counts as one, I will be stupid to miss my chance of touching her again. She twists her arm in an attempt to pull out of my grasp but I only tighten my hold on her
Light filters in through the blinds, casting shadows on the wall opposite the window. Ava nudges her glasses up her nose, a patient smile on her lips. The brown-skinned lady has been all smiles since my arrival. Her thick locs cascading down her shoulders give me the impression she’s better suited as a palm reader than this. A con artist who robs people of their hard earned money with fake, empty promises. I hope she proves me right so I can walk out of this room with a stronger conviction that therapy is shit.We assess each other silently. The ceiling fan continues rolling undisturbed, she pulls her jacket around her, I frown at her increasing smiles. Joshua didn’t inform me she smiled this much. To be fair, I didn’t tell him I would contact his therapist. Hell, I didn’t know I would be here until I found myself in front of the building. El sounded hopeful when I mentioned therapy, it’s largely why I am here. For someone who is having an unexpe
Ed is not picking his calls. My emails are still unanswered. A muscle in my jaw ticks, what’s his problem?The glass doors slide open on sensing my movements, a proud smile takes over my lips and I nod to the guard’s greeting. The motion sensor is one of many upgrades I made to this place after taking over.Dina is on a phone call when I pass her desk, she signifies for me to hold on but I look right past her and continue to the hidden private elevator that will take me to my office floor. I imagine Dina scowling at my retreating figure but I don’t care. I want to preserve the peaceful feeling from visiting Ava a little while longer and Dina will burst that bubble as soon as she opens her mouth. Her missed calls require explanations I am not ready to listen to, I am taking Ava’s advice—trying to stay positive today.I step into the elevator while browsing through my call history. My eyes zero in on the fifth name.
One. Two. One. Two. Three. My fists meet the punching bag in quick succession. Sweat trickles down my forehead to the front of my tank top. I go again, hitting the bag I pretend is Jei’s face until I tire myself out. Hugging the sagging bag, I scream but the sound is muffled by the music playing in the background. I snatch the bottle water lying in the corner, take a long, satisfying gulp and stare at my angry reflection.Heated cheeks. Muscled arms I flex to release the tension. Short drenched in sweat. Tank top glued to my sweaty chest. The lights reflect on my forehead, I swat the hair sticking to my face and groan. The late night workout didn’t help. Fuck. Walking out of the gym with my head cast down, I jog to the room.It is hard to stay focused since I haven’t heard from him. Sure, there are other investors, a lot of people would be honoured to work with me. Only little problem is, they don’t have the money nor patience Jei do
In the morning, I step into the office with a toothy grin sure to frighten my staff. Medina is the first one to greet me, she comes running towards me, I stop in the front of the elevator, waiting for her to catch her breath. She takes big gulps of air, I stifle a laugh at her flustered expression. We might need to incorporate a workout routine to the schedule if she’s this discombobulated after a thirty second run.“Good morning, Sir.” I acknowledge her greeting with a bigger grin, she freezes for a nanosecond before snapping out of it. Directing her attention to a thick blue file in her grip, she flips through it. The hand holding my jacket lowers, I take a sip of my coffee. “I got something.” Her finger pokes an underlined paragraph, she chuckles at my tight smile. “It’s a private auction sale.” My lips pull into a grim line, I haven’t been to many sales but the few times I did, it was on a weekend not a bloody Thursday
Today must be the day of bastards because this is the second one I am seeing in thirty minutes. At least Jei is a likeable bastard with something to offer, can’t say the same for that asshole over there. Vincent smirks, his hand goes up in mock salute and Jei returns the greeting by tipping his head. I scoff, the idiot is teasing me. Tugging on my tie to the point of suffocating myself, my gaze wanders in his direction, to the back of his head. Though his eyes are glued to his phone, I am certain he is also watching me.Of all the people I had to see today, God chose him. Thank you, Jesus. Doing great work since the day of the separation. I shove that painful reminder somewhere dark, squeeze my knee until images from last night flood my mind. The memories have the desired results, the tension dissolves, I cast Jei a glance. Would it be a good decision to get the card on his behalf? As a sign of goodwill. My focus returns to Vincent, the lights dim but I can still recogn
“...The durak is here.”The statement rings loud and clear in my ears, my gaze lowers to Vincent’s lips moving in painfully slow motion. Every emotion I have held in comes rushing back to me, then I see red. My fist connects with his cheek before I can second-guess the move, the crunching sound of bone meeting flesh sends a sadistic thrill down my spine and I punch him again, smirking at the undeniable pop that signifies a broken nose.He doesn’t get a chance to recover because my fist comes at him again. His neck snaps to the side, blood splatters to his jacket and I shove him to the floor. Grabbing him by the collar, I rain numerous punches on his face, his neck, every open skin my fist can access. I want to kill him. And the voice re-echoing the shit he said about Sophie only fuels my anger. Why does he have my daughter’s name in his mouth?Blood trickles from the fresh cut on his cheeks, quickly spreading to the white tile
I wake with a splitting headache, rubbing the back of my hand against my eyes, I place a kiss on Brianna’s forehead with a promise to visit often. The month is almost over and it is my first time here. I should check on her frequently but it’s hard seeing her lifeless body every time, being unable to do anything.The shirt at the foot of the bed catches my eyes, I look around for what I know is not there. A trashcan. I tuck the shirt under my armpit, stroll to Brianna’s wardrobe and pull out an old t-shirt of mine. It smells like whiskey and old shirt but it’s better than walking around the house in only a stained white singlet.My fingers press to my temple, I gently massage the spot until the headache subsides. I exit the room after a glance at the bed. A jolt of pain stabs my insides at the silence, I amble down the corridor with my head cast down. I don’t know, I guess a part of me expected she would have waved or something. 
ElnaI shut the door to our bedroom and tiptoe inside. Brandon doesn’t stir. He’s dead asleep. Or so I think till I near the bed and drop the package—his valentine gift on the nightstand. He puckers his lips for a kiss and I gladly indulge him. His hands grasp my butt, he pulls me up to straddle him and I move slowly against his erection without breaking eye contact. “Are they asleep now?” “Yeah. Finally. Alleluia,” I reply with a laugh. “Maybe I shouldn’t have given them the day off.” Silly me thought it would be great to give the twins nannies Valentine’s Day off so our family could do something special. Bad choice. With two one-year old attention demanding kids, I need all the help I can get. To make it worse, this year’s valentine fell on a Sunday and most of last night was spent trying to quiet the babies. “Maybe.” Brandon captures my lips. The kiss is lazy but it soon grows urgent. His tongue searches for mine, twirlin
The girls are dancing in a circle. Wyn is in the middle of the circle trying to perform a break dance. I laugh at her failed attempts, holding El closer to me as we sway gently to a rhythm in my head. El wrinkles her nose in disappointment, her fingers intertwine with mine and I spin her in a lazy circle.“You’re not supposed to be laughing at them,” she says as their mother dearest. “You cheer them up.”True. But it was funny. Wyn waves, Bren does the same. Brianna does not spare us a glance. Like me and El, she has two left legs. She can’t dance but she is better than us. I wrap my arms around El from behind, tucking my head into her shoulder. She smells delicious. I can’t wait to have her alone.The music filters into my ears, I close my eyes and the lyrics wrap around my heart.“What’s Josh doing?”My eyes fly open. Josh is at one of the two canopies with Joy. Most of the g
It’s today. Our vow renewal. To be honest, it feels like we are getting married again. This time, we have the people we care most about to celebrate the reunion with us and it makes me anxious. Joshua claps my shoulder. “Relax.” It’s so easy for him to say that but he doesn’t get it. The love of my life is out there. I haven’t seen my wife since yesterday because her mother believes it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. We stare into the floor-length mirror, our matching charcoal grey suits are differentiated by our ties. He’s my best man. “Is Joy coming?” he asks. Sophia will be in attendance but I can’t speak for her friend. I don’t say a word to him but I know this won’t work. Joy is older than Joshua. If her attitude towards him on my birthday is a sign to go by, she doesn’t like him. Some parts of me feel like this is an infatuation that will die soon. It is taking too long for him to get over her but I hope
The cries of our newborn babies snap me out of my sleep. I jerk up and check the time on the alarm clock. 7 pm. I groan into my hands.My life has changed since their arrival. My sleeping pattern has worsened and my knowledge about babies has increased.Babies poop a lot. They cry too damn much. They don’t need a reason to cry, just existing is enough reason for them to cry. It is exhausting.Brandon Langalethu Stark is the louder one. Brendan Lelethu Stark is quieter. Annika gave them their middle names with approval from their godfather, Joshua. Lelethu means ours while Langalethu, short for Langa means our sunshine. I must admit, he hasn’t been a ray of sunshine for a while. He’s a big ball of noisy energy. El rouses from her sleep at the incessant sound of her crying babies. I love my sons but they cry too goddamn much. Their cries are coordinated. Once one of them starts crying, the other twin is bound to join in.
Chaos breaks out. Everyone is all over me and El, saying so many things at once. The smile sitting on her face disappears. Tears fill her eyes, her nails dig into my shoulders so hard I’m sure it will leave a mark.She is hurting.Annika is speaking so fast, asking about the baby things. Mother is telling everyone to calm down. El is crying, she doesn’t want to go to the clinic with a wet dress. I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t present for the first pregnancy. Mother pushes me aside and helps El to her feet. I almost scream. Is she allowed to stand? What if our kids fall out?I rush to El’s side. Mother guides her through a breathing exercise as what she calls a contraction hits El. It must have really hurt. She balls my shirt and makes a pained sound that stops everyone in their tracks. More than six pairs of worried eyes pin her in a stare but she focuses on only me. My baby.“I’m okay,”
Choruses of happy birthday fill the air. I am dragged away from El before I can kiss her back or utter a reply. I was so worried she would forget about today I forgot it myself. Mother nudges me with her hip and grins. Well played. Even the girls were in on it.Joshua claps my arm. “Happy birthday, brother.” This idiot. He called me during the day and didn’t wish me anything. “Many happy returns.”We cheers to my new age and Bren pulls me to the living room where the real party is happening. The place has been redecorated. There are balloons tied to the wall, a table with a bigger cake on it and the words, “Happy Birthday, my love” written on it.There’s another cake. Well, there are three more cakes. Instead of my love, one has son, the other has brother and the last one has Daddy written on it. A cake from each of the most important people in my lives. My wife. My kids. My brother and my parents
El sneaks an arm around my waist. Her belly is bigger now. Our babies will be showing up soon. She leans on me for support while we wait for the private elevator. It was her idea to get out of my office to buy crackers. A little fun fact: We have boxes of crackers at home. If she wasn’t pregnant, her attitude would have been suspicious but with pregnancy, anything goes. Rule number 123432444: Never argue with a heavily pregnant woman. It will end in chaos. We enter the elevator with my hand on her lower back. Our reflections on the metallic wall smiles at us and El laughs. I set my suitcase on the ground and palm her face for a proper kiss. With the pregnancy due, her office has become mine. She spends more time with me than anyone else. I love it. Her lips taste like donuts. We ordered some an hour after she arrived to “pick” me. I will never let her drive in her state but she enjoys using that term even if she was brought here by a driver. She r
El won’t stop staring at her ring.We are in the backseat of the car heading to the hotel for dinner when she reaches up to give me a kiss. Leaning on me, she smiles at her ring again. I think I did right by her. Her mother will be happy. We had a long, loud, argument about this. About the vow renewals too but that will be after El delivers.“I have two rings,” El says, hand stretched out in front of her. She rolls Mother’s ring on her middle finger. “Does that make me Lord of the rings?”“Lady of the rings, maybe.”My phone vibrates with a text from Joshua. He wants to know if I did it. I facepalm at his request of a picture. It’s one more thing I have to get better at. Capturing the memories on camera. I nudge El with my elbow to show her the text. Her hand eventually lowers, she nods eagerly and strikes a pose, flashing her teeth in all the selfies. She knows she is pretty.
I tilt the laptop and the girls’ faces occupy the screen. Wyn is on top of Bren but her twin doesn’t seem to mind. Brianna is on one side of the bed, smiling at the camera. They are all lying on their stomachs. El settles down beside me, I prop the laptop on my knees and slip my hand into her shirt from behind. She shoots me a warning look. I bat my lashes like the cute baby daddy I am.“I miss Mummy,” Wyn says.My back meets the headboard and El rests her head on my shoulder. “What about me?”Again, she and Bren are rocking the same gowns. Wyn frowns. “I miss you too, I guess.”El bellows out a laugh. Evil girls. In a few months, I’ll have my boys. She wraps an arm around my waist to soothe me. It works for only a second before my attention returns to the laptop. Bren is grinning.“How are you?” El asks.“Fine,” three of them chorus.&