2010With the promotion of Carlos, we decided to buy our ideal apartment. We went all over Barcelona after him, but there was always something that displeased me, or him.— This apartment is a bit more expensive, but it’s worth it. I assure you. - says the broker, opening the door to another apartment. — Welcome to the future home of the couple Penedo Salazar.As soon as the door opened, Carlos' chin went to the floor with the huge white room that emerged.— Two rooms, dining room, kitchen, pantry, service area, room for employees, three bedrooms, one suite, two washrooms, one guest toilet and two garages. If I may say so, it’s the best apartment you’ll find in Barcelona.I walk all over the space analyzing everything, under the eyes of the broker I’m sure must think I’m the bitch of real estate. The first room is very good, the second room found the space poorly used. After looking at the two rooms is to open the balcony. Nearby I already had the kitchen I did not like, it is not ai
Three months later…Needless to say, Project Son has not yet given the expected result and only pushed us further away. Carlos became obsessed with pregnancy, and all he talked about was it. He controlled my ovulation, the positions we should do and when we should. Sex became something planned and mechanical. I saw in Carlos' eyes the disappointment as the months went by. And all this only made me more stressed, frustrated and anxious. Especially when our friends began to get “pregnant”. Mr. X ended up becoming my support to overcome all that tension.Mr. X says:Good morning, Doce. How are you?Dalia Penedo Salazar says:Not well. The same problems as always, X. Sorry for not entering last night, we are trying to have the baby still and yesterday was the day to try the baby.Mr. X says:I know how it is, I’ve been there. When I realized I wouldn’t be on time, I decided to go to the RLC’s new club’s opening party.When I read that, my blood boils. Mr. X should be just mine and not be
About a month later...Summary of my life: I am not pregnant yet, I do not talk to Mr. X who has already gone to Switzerland, and I continue to go to college. Or rather, pushing with the belly. As much as I loved doing the works of my house, I found that deep down it was just a distraction from my studies. I’m going into the fifth semester, and I’m becoming more and more convinced that I’m not going to be a lawyer.Regarding pregnancy, Carlos and I agreed that as soon as my classes were over, we would make an appointment to find out why we do not have a child yet. And so it was, I went on vacation, and we made the appointment.— Welcome. - says our doctor, extending his hand to both of us and then pointing to the chairs. We sit down, and he asks: — What is the reason for the consultation?— We have been trying to have a child for a long time, but we are not succeeding.- explains Carlos. — She does not take the pill, and we do not use condoms. So we’re concerned that we can’t hav
About a month later...Needless to say, after that time, all the others were so… excited by the fiery words I exchanged with X. My husband distrusts nothing, breaking my heart even more. Things started as time went on, I feel increasingly unhappy and Carlos more distant.The truth is that at that time I imagined myself totally different: married, with children, doing something that I loved. But the only thing I have is marriage, or the shadow of one. We can not have our child, and it is not for lack of trying, I hate the course I do, and I convince myself more and more of it. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m lost and tired… waiting for something that could change my life.So, just before my classes came back, a great surprise came through an international call.— Hello? - I say attending while doing one more college work.— Hello, Dadá. - says a female voice very dear to me.— Leo! - Shout, happy. Leonor Garcia is my great childhood friend who has long been living in Senegal
My classes came back, and I was still in the dilemma of going to Senegal. I’m sure Carlos won’t go, but would he let me go alone? The only certainty I have is that if I don’t go, I won’t be able to take charge of my life, and I’ll be unhappy. I need to take a turn, and I’ll do it now.I arrive home after a tiring law class and meet Carlos watching television. I take a deep breath and turn off the television, stopping in front of him who stares at me without understanding.— We need to talk. - I mean, seriously.— All right. - Carlos says, settling on the couch.— I’ll lock up the college, you’ll take a vacation, and we’ll both go to Senegal. - Warning.— What? - asks Carlos, angry. — You’re crazy, Dalia? What are we going to do in Senegal?— Help people, meet new people, disconnect us from our little world. Don’t you realize this is the perfect opportunity for us to do what the doctor says?— I do not remember him saying that we should go to Africa to try a son. - argues Carlos.— He
Dakar...Hell... that’s the only word I can think of when I arrive at dawn and feel the 30-degree heat I was doing in that place. In addition to heat, Dakar is very stuffy. To end my vision of hell, the stench that came in my nostrils as soon as I got off the plane, to the point of wrapping my stomach. Look for Leo in the middle of that heap of people, my luck is that there was no redhead at the airport, besides her who waved cheerfully next to Stephen. She laughs as soon as she sees me with my scarf covering my face. I hug my friend and greet Estevão who carries my backpack.— There is a saying here in Africa: Either you love, or Hate, the Mother Earth. - says Leonor to see my face in shock.Parking is even worse. I couldn’t find myself in that place. I walk beside Léa admiring the people and their dialects, some men beckon to me, leaving me confused.— Do not face them. Especially men, they can interpret that you are a... person who provides worldly services. - explains Leo.— Whore
Ten days later...What would be seven days, ended up being ten days incommunicado amid those abandoned children, counting only the little we had to offer. In the middle of that expedition I ended up joining more with the other people of that organization and already at the end of the trip to Guinea, we formed a family of multiple nationalities , but with the same goal: to help others. — Dalia, we are going to Mali to help more children, if you want to go with us. – says Richard, the English doctor responsible for that action. He finishes storing his portable kit and faces me. —What do you think?—That’s fine with me. You will, Leo? - I ask my friend.—No, we have to go back to Lac Rose, but if you want to go, I’m sure it will be important to you .– says Leo.—Then I’ll go. - I mean, excited.When we returned to Dakar, I only had time to pack another suitcase and sit on the computer to send an email to Carlos:__________________________________________________________________To: Ca
After the conversation I had with Carlos, I decided to read my emails that had accumulated in the last 20 days:Mother: Longing for you DATE: 01/02/2011Valeria's sister: How is it? DATE: 20/01/2011Filomena: African Miss DATE:19/01/2011Mr.X: I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!!! DATE: 15/01/2011 Mr.X: Where are you? DATE: 14/01/2011 Mr.X: Reply to this email DATE: 13/01/2011 Mr.X: Why don’t you answer the phone? DATE: 12/01/2011Mr.X: How are you? DATE:11/01/2011My heart wanted to jump out of my mouth when I saw not one, but five emails from Mr.X. Each one more desperate than the other, asking where I was or why I didn’t answer the phone. In one of the last, I asked that at least I reply to your emails. I’m torn between not responding and ignoring you or responding. But I know that at that moment I need someone to talk to and know better than anyone what was going on in my life. So many thi
BRAZIL, MARCH 31, 2015.I'm engrossed in my phone, just a few lines away from finishing the book I'm reading, which, as incredible as it may seem, resonates with many aspects of my marriage. I'm so engrossed in the plot that I disconnect from everything else:"Dália!" my husband calls, drawing my attention. I look towards the wooden door from which he emerges with his charming smile. "Come see."I put down my phone and walk to the door, stepping outside where my husband stands on the sidewalk, looking at the facade. I join him and also start to admire the bold letters:Carlos's Delicacies"It's perfect!" I compliment, admiring the front of our restaurant.Yes, a lot has changed in my life... in our lives. After flying to Paris, we made some decisions. The first was Carlos quitting his job. He insisted on throwing his phone from the top of the Eiffel Tower when he finished his call with Rubens. I did the same with the real estate agency. However, I didn't throw my phone because we need
"Passengers of flight 357 to Lisbon, boarding will take place at gate C... Attention, passengers of flight 357, bound for Lisbon, boarding will take place at gate C..."This was what the announcement was saying when I arrived at the airport just a few minutes before my husband's flight was due to depart. Unlike what you see in movies, buying a ticket to enter the departure area isn't as difficult as it seems, because there wasn't a huge line in front of me, to begin with for buying a ticket."Good morning, ma'am, how can I assist you?""I need a ticket for any international flight departing right now.""Right now? Ah, well..." the young man starts, opening his screen.However, the clerk who attended to me wasn't very fast."Young man, I need to enter the departure area in thirty minutes," I say, looking at the departure and arrival display screen.Knowing my husband, it was unlikely he bought a first-class ticket or even a VIP one. As he always used to argue: at the moment of death, t
After leaving my children with the nanny and taking a shower, I head to the address of the summons, which happens to be Elson's office address. I press the elevator button that takes me to the penultimate floor in a matter of seconds. The panoramic view of the city welcomes me, and then I approach the receptionist:"Good morning, I'm Dália Penedo Salazar and I received a summons for today.""Good morning, Mrs. Salazar. Just a moment to inform Dr. Elson that you're here" says the receptionist.She smiles in my direction, raises her index finger, and then turns to speak on the phone. The receptionist exchanges a few words amid fake giggles and hair tosses, then turns to me, saying:"Dr. Elson is waiting for you in the conference room. Please follow me."She stands up from her seat, adjusting her tight but elegant purple dress, making me question my choice of wearing wide-legged pants and a white shirt. The receptionist says a few things, but I don't retain anything in my mind because al
X...As always, the night with you was wonderful and unforgettable. Your touch, your scent, your kiss, and the way you make love to me will always be etched in my mind. As well as your words...You were very important in my life. I tried to fight the desire I felt for you all these years, and lost the battle several times. You are a part of me; my life didn't make much sense until you appeared, and I'm grateful to you for being my friend, confidant, my lover...It's undeniable that we are perfect for each other, that we have harmony and chemistry... in bed.Our relationship boils down to the bed, to sex, and it has always been that way...A few years ago, I would have given anything to live this relationship beyond the bedroom door, but today I understand that it's not possible, and I know you will understand that too.When you said that you wanted me and couldn't live without me... I didn't feel what I wanted to feel when I heard those words. I know the first thing that came to your
My eyes search X's face for any trace of falsehood. His jaw is relaxed, and his eyes are serene... He turns towards the table where he tossed the envelope and retrieves it. Then he turns towards me, holding it up in my direction.“Open it, so you can confirm what I'm telling you,” he says.I take the envelope while taking a deep breath. My trembling hands struggle to tear the paper... or some greater force didn't want me to discover the truth. I press harder, and finally, it gives way, allowing me to see the report that I unfold calmly. There it is: according to the examination conducted using Carlos's blood, Juan was his son. I breathe a sigh of relief, but then the feeling of regret hits me. I could have avoided the dinner with Carlos if I had opened that damned envelope.“So? Am I right or not?” X asks.“You are,” I whisper as I let my body slide into one of the chairs. I stare at X and then ask what came to my mind. “How is that possible?”“I was born with a lack of reproductive d
Carlos wipes away his tears as he looks at the paternity test. His hands smooth the paper before he places it back on the table, taking a deep breath. His brown eyes lock onto mine, and then he says:“I don't want to know.”“Carlos, please,” I whisper.“Juan will always be my son, and no piece of paper will say otherwise,” Carlos says, pressing his index finger against the paper repeatedly. He hands me back the envelope, wiping his face. “He has been my son for four years, and he always will be. Juan Carlos is my son, he is a Salazar, and he always will be.”“Whatever you say,” I agree, putting the envelope away once again.“Does he know?” Carlos asks, looking at me seriously. His gaze is a sea of disappointment that I can't bear to meet.“No,” I reply, wiping my face. “He has no idea.”“If I were in his shoes, I'd want to know if I have a child out there,” Carlos claims.“Carlos, please...”“He has the right to know, Dália,” Carlos argues. “Tell him.”“Alright, I'll do that,” I affir
“What? How? When?”The sommelier approaches with our waters, pouring them into our glasses while pretending not to notice my tear-streaked face and the tense atmosphere. How did my husband know everything? How? I couldn't comprehend...“Africa,” Carlos reveals, withdrawing his hand from mine and then sliding his fingers through the cutlery without looking at me. “You always had the terrible habit of leaving your things open. When you traveled, I decided to use the home computer for work... I saw it all. Your conversations, your emails, you're asking him to call you...”“Why didn't you...?”“Why didn't I tell you? Or why didn't I leave you when I found out?” Carlos questions, thoughtful. “Simple, I loved you, Dália. When I read everything, I felt guilty. I threw you into his arms, but I wasn't ready to lose you... Give up on you. I was sincere when I showed up in Africa. I really wanted to be the husband you deserved, because if I could manage that, I knew I'd forget that man once and
La Barca looked as beautiful as that day when we came for the first time; that's what I was thinking as the concierge led me to the reserved table on the terrace. He pulls out a chair for me, and I sit down promptly. He steps away, and I find myself admiring the nighttime view of Barcelona while my mind wandered, considering the possibilities. There were chances Carlos might not come or might come with someone else. Even the possibility of being followed, and X showing up there. Regardless, I tried to convince myself to see it through. I place my hands in front of my face, repeating to myself: I needed to put an end to this, I needed to...“Dália?” Carlos calls, standing in front of me. “Is everything okay?”“Hi, Carlos,” I say, adjusting my hands on the table. “Yes, it is.”“Would you like something to drink before choosing your dishes?” the sommelier asks.“Just water, please,” I say, nervously unable to look at the young man.“Wow...”“What?” I ask quickly.“For you to order water,
I spun the envelope in my hands. I had buried that desire to know who Juan's father was many years ago, even now with everything that's happening. However, as they say, the truth always comes out. My fingers would glide over the edges in a simple gesture, and everything would be revealed. All it would take is my fingers coming together and tearing open the edge, and that's it. Simple... easy... Yet, I didn't feel like I was the one who should open the envelope. I didn't feel entitled to do so. I take a deep breath and then place it on my coffee table. Furthermore, I stand up and walk to the hallway, where I grab my purse, open it, and take out my cell phone. I scroll through my call list until I reach a specific number—the number of the person I believe has the right to know. After a few rings, the line is answered.“Hello?”“Hi, Carlos,” I say calmly.“Is something wrong?” Carlos asks, concerned.“We need to talk...”“Dália, if it's about the summons, know that it's for the best this