Chapter 04

KATE

"Do you think I danced for you?"

"We both know it was for me."

"Okay, I'll let you think that. I don't want to hurt your ego. But I have to go."

Running away seemed like the only option before I did something foolish.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Is there really no way to convince you to come with me?"

Leave, Kate, before you change your mind. You know you want to.

"No."

"I don't understand." He looked at me, appearing confused.

"I want." Damn it! Those words shouldn't have escaped my mind. Damn tongue. "Forget it. It's just that I don't usually do this. So it's a shame." Stop! You're starting to embarrass yourself, Collins.

"Are you saying you don't usually sleep with someone you just met?" His expression was pure amusement.

"More or less."

"I like that."

I wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face.

"Like what?"

"Knowing that you don't usually sleep with just any guy you meet. But I'm not just any guy."

"You seem like the type of guy who sleeps with a different woman every night." He blinked a few times.

"No, not every night." He tried to contain a smile. What a jerk. The almost smile vanished when he noticed my expression of disdain.

"I think you should find someone with similar habits to yours. There must be plenty here."

"I don't want anyone but you."

"Really? I think you can live without me." I scoffed. "I need to go." He had already convinced me that he was a jerk, and Lisa must be looking for me.

"So, that's it?" he asked disbelievingly as I walked away, looking a bit annoyed.

"Yes. Goodbye, Nathan."

"Don't be so dramatic."

My subconscious was going to disturb me for the rest of my life. I was sure of it. I tried to list the reasons why not to go, one... My brain failed with an image of him naked. I laughed to myself. Damn it. Why does alcohol do that to people?

I found Lisa at the bar.

"Where were you? Fucking with someone around?" She asked, laughing because she knew it was nearly impossible for me to do something like that, but her expression quickly changed when she noticed my frustrated face.

"Almost," I said in a melancholic tone. Am I really conflicted between the desires of my subconscious mixed with alcohol and my conscience? I think so.

"What do you mean, 'almost'?"

"I met a guy..." Damn it. Who turned me on. "And I liked him." Omitting the excitement part seemed safer.

"And?"

"He wanted me to go home with him."

"And why aren't you fucking him now?"

"Because I just met him?"

"And?"

"You know me. I... I don't know." It would be much easier if I had already had sex with someone. But Lisa didn't know that. I never had the courage to tell her, someone who has always been so sexually open. And I definitely didn't want her to try to help me. In fact, I understand all the theory, and mechanics of the thing. I've done a few things. But that guy... I really didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him.

"Oh, God! Are you seriously thinking it's wrong to be with him just because you just met him?"

I guess I wouldn't mind if he wasn't so intimidating, but that also bothered me, even if just a little. She sighed.

"People do it, Kate. So stop caring about such old-fashioned concepts. You're so smart and determined, but when it comes to your love life or sex life, you seem to run away." Either I'm under the influence of whiskey, or she's right. It's more likely that I'm drunk. "I guess you need to start changing your concepts about sex and fun."

"You mean concepts about having sex with a stranger. Maybe... Just maybe, you are right."

"I am! And if you don't mind, I met someone amazing who's going to take me home. And I don't care that I just met him. In fact, that makes the experience even more exciting." She smiled.

"Stop torturing me."

"You don't mind if I go, do you?"

"Of course not. Are you going to our apartment?"

"Yes."

"That means I shouldn't come back until tomorrow, right?"

"Well, only if you mind the noises."

"Oh, God! Have fun!"

"I will." She turned to leave but turned back to me again. "It's still early. There must be some nice guy out there. Try to have fun!"

"I'll try!" She smiled tenderly and winked before heading towards the exit and disappearing with her companion.

Her idea of fun, sleeping with a stranger, didn't sound so bad. Maybe that's what I need, these kinds of experiences in my life. Maybe I should change, or maybe I'm just drunk. Damn, I don't care about this virginity thing, I don't know why the hell I haven't had sex with anyone yet, but I don't want to seem inexperienced with a guy like that. What is happening to me? I don't usually have this kind of thought. It must be the alcohol.

What am I going to do? I can't go home now. Maybe I should look for Matt and Brad. Terrible idea. They're probably with someone. Damn it! Everyone here has a sex life except me? Yes. Maybe I should call Sarah or another colleague, but I need to go to the bathroom first. That's the annoying part about alcohol.

I left the bathroom and was about to send a message to Sarah when I heard the familiar voice. I followed the sound, turning into the hallway. There he was, on his back. Something inside me stirred when I saw him, my heart raced, and excitement surged through my body just at the thought of what I was about to do. I watched him as he talked to someone on his cell phone, he looked upset. I approached, trying to listen better.

"No. I'm not going to discuss it now. Damn it." Was he angry? "That's none of your business...

I never get kicked, you idiot... Things are always under my control."

He hung up and put away his phone.  Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair, trying to relieve his irritation.

"Tonight they are not..." he said to himself, then turned toward me, and started to walk. I hid, listening to his footsteps, until he passed me.

"What things aren't under your control tonight?" I gave my best smile, leaning against the wall. He came closer with a dark and hungry expression, so close, his hands reached for my face, and he pressed his body against mine. His mouth took mine eagerly, a little rudely. His tongue left me breathless.

"If you don't come with me, I'm going to fuck you right here," he whispered. Damn, it... I would love to understand how a stranger had just aroused me more than anyone else ever had.

"Yes," I said, still breathless. He blinked, trying to comprehend, looking into my eyes.

"What?"

"I'll go with you." His lips curved into that perfect smile.

"What made you change your mind?"

"You'll have to admit you got lucky, no power and control," I teased.

"You are my luck."