Clothes lay on a colourful heap on our bed with a suitcase open, my footsteps echo as I saunter to the wardrobe to get the rest of my things. I return to the bed with my set of lingerie and start folding clothes into the bag. The heap disappears into the box, I straighten up and sigh when Brandon's arms wrap around my waist from behind.
Brandon tucks his head into the crook of my neck, his breath fans my ear and my body thrums in response when he says, "If it were in my power, we would have stayed back." I smile and nod. "I'll make it up to you."
My head bobs up and down again, already tired of hearing his apology. I understand; it's not his fault. The call he received when we were at the
I blink twice and swallow. "Josh. Joshua."His gaze keeps my hands glued to my sides, the thinly veiled emotion in his eyes sending chills to my bones. "Is he your boyfriend?""No," I say. My hands move around his waist and I bury my head in his chest. "I don't do boyfriends, I do husbands." The chuckles die on my lips when Brandon doesn't share in my humour and a small yelp leaves me when he retracts my arms from his body.A strand of hair falls over his face, he ignores it to ask, "Hello love? Darling?""Josh is my friend, that's how we greet each other," I murmur in my defence. He arches an eyebrow and I start spouting answers to questions he never asked me. "Josh is my friend,
I stare at his retreating back unable to grasp what just happened until Brandon turns sharply to repeat his order. "Follow me."The invisible forces keeping my feet rooted to the ground lets up, I nod and trail behind him like a diligent puppy ready to serve its master. Silence is my only companion as we go down the long stairs and onto the lone corridor, passing through doors I didn't know of their existence. He stops without notice and I almost run into his solid back.A string of apologies leaves me, I twiddle my fingers, bite the inside of my lips and sigh. Brandon shifts to the side, I take one look in front of him and understand why he stopped. Seconds go by as he works the key into the keyhole of the door and my heart picks up pace, beating hard against my ribcage. My fists clench and unclench at my sides, I s
Our gazes clash, when I think I have gotten through to him, he pulls on it and I let out a small cry. Tears slip from the corner of my eyes, I bite my lips. "Use your safe word."Brandon eyes me as my lips part open but for some reasons, I can't bring myself to say the word, a part of me enjoys what we are doing, the lashing and teasing. He scoffs, I look down at my naked body and back to him, he's still fully dressed except for his shoes which are missing. I gulp at the bulge straining against his trousers and lick my lips, I want a taste of him. My hands cover my breasts when he lets go of the chain and I wince when my fingers brush my areola, if we keep up with this, my nipples might fall off.Rubbing my legs against each other, I moan and nod when he asks me to hop on the table, getting into his demanded position
I wake up with a start, a string of curses leaves my lips as I turn to lie on my stomach and sigh in relief at the switch of positions. My whole body is sore, my anus, vagina and nipples scream for some tender loving care plus a warm bath. I blink twice, noting the change in the colours of the walls for the first time, we are in our bedroom but I have no recollection of how I got here. A small laugh escapes me, I am a deep sleeper, I can sleep through a storm and last night was hell, there is no way I would have felt him carry me.The mattress dips with a new weight, Brandon's face comes into view and I frown, he chuckles but I don't share in his humour. This man almost split my asshole, nearly ripped off my nipples and vagina with those damn clamps he used on them and he has the guts to laugh at me like he can handle the number of strokes he dished out. He needs an ass-who
"It's fine," I mutter with my eyes cast down, scrubbing my body harder than necessary.I feel his presence behind me but I don't let up with the scrubbing until he grabs the loofah from me. A scowl settles on my face, I glare at him when he comes into view and sigh when a smile flits to his lips, he has a weird sense of humour, nothing about this is funny. He traces a line on my lower lip, goes up to my scalp and my hair cascades down."I like your hair down," he mutters as he runs his fingers through them.Twirling a strand of hair around my finger, I look away from him and say, "I know."He hooks a finger under my jaw and my breath catches in my throat
A yawn slips from me, the back of my hand goes to cover my mouth and I nod with my head almost hitting the table. I blink twice, fighting to stay awake and the yawn escapes me. The light of my phone screen comes on, a peek at the time shows it's past nine and Brandon is not here yet. He's not picking my calls, in fact, no one is. Brandon. Clarissa. Joshua. They have all gone quiet on me and I'm starting to get worried. I miss them. Him.The letters on my screen blur, tears fill my eyes, I squint and reach for the mouse to reduce the laptop's brightness. I cast a look at the empty plates on the dining table, the stainless flask at the centre, this is my first time of cooking since we got married and I decided to surprise him with dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese. I don't know if he likes it, so far, he hasn't chosen any meal above the other, he eats whatever he's given.
Surprise washes over me at his one-word command, I blink, staring into his eyes to confirm my suspicions. "W... What?"He hooks a finger under my jaw. "Strip.""Brandon," I start in a whisper and he grows stiff, his hand on my jaw returns to his side. He arches an eyebrow, I swallow and place my hands on his knees, determined to talk him out of this. I am tired of him trying to use sex as a cover-up for his pain, talking to your spouse helps solve half the problem. "Sex doesn't solve everything.""It doesn't but for now, it will have to do." He traces a line on my collarbone, I shiver and he pulls down the strap of my gown. I shake my head, prepared to counter him when he says, "Strip and get on the bed.""No," I say while swatting his arm to adjust my nightwear. "Let's talk about it, that's what couples do. I
I wake up with Brandon's arms around my waist, his leg between mine and our bodies pressed against each other. My muscles scream in protest when I try to push him off in an attempt to get out of the bed and a new wave of annoyance hits me when his arms tighten around my waist. He stirs, runs his fingers across my naked stomach before trailing a line down my hips. I freeze, waiting for his breathing to return to normal so I can try again."El," he murmurs when I finally pry his arms off me, his voice unusually low and his hand blindly searching for me. "Don't leave me."My body goes rigid, the butterflies in my belly flutter as my feet connect with the floor and I cast a tentative look at him. His closed eyelids, the wrinkles that appear on his forehead and the rising and falling of his chest call attention to me. I sigh, my decision to sneak out of the room crumbling like my resolve
"You promised," he whispers. He lets go of me to run his hands through his hair. "You promised me, Elna. Your beginning, middle and end." Jumping to his feet, he folds his hands behind his head and murmurs, "You promised. You can't leave me. Baby, please."Unable to look him in the eyes, I bury my face into the pillow and continue shaking my head. I know the answer to his question now, I am so certain of it. Do I still want him? Yes, I will always want him, more than I have ever wanted anyone but I can't have him.Murder is murder and he killed his brother.And it hurts.It hurts every fibre of my being. I love him so much it hurts to think of a future without him. I don't think I can stop loving him but when I look at him, all I see is a killer. If I cannot look past his sins then I shouldn't be in his life. It will be our secret, it's not in my place to tell other people and I am fine with that. I wi
It is hard.Really hard.
He doesn't regret it. But he feels bad. What does that mean? I race down the stairs as fast as I can, my car keys dangling in my hand. Hopefully, I look sane with the way I hurriedly dressed and left. I need to talk to Clarissa but about what? Do I want to tell her what Brandon said? What if she calls the police on him? Will she do that? She won't.
I wake to amber eyes staring down at me. I flash Brandon a sleepy smile, he presses a kiss to my hair and I giggle, he must love my new shampoo. "You slept well?" I ask.He nods, placing another kiss on my temple. "I did, you?" he says against my skin and I hum in response, loving the wet kisses he litters on
The next day, my phone is pinging with notifications. David shoots me a grateful text I don't reply, I am sure he doesn't expect one, we are not friends. My finger hovers over the delete option on his contact, I hesitate. It won’t hurt to have it so I save his number, something I had failed to do. Bored, I send Brandon an SOS and switch off my phone.Time to take matters into my hands.Bathed, shaved and clad in lace lingerie that barely holds my breasts and reveals my bump, I sit up, legs crossed while awaiting that click that will announce his entrance. He won't talk to me like a normal person and now, I am pissed. And horny. And frustrated.The click to signify his presence sounds, reverberating in the room. I shoot up from the bed as fast as a pregnant woman approaching her third semester can and saunter to the door, swinging my hips. Brandon eyes me from head to toe, the appreciative glint in his gaze is missing but I shrug tha
Curiosity kills the cat. Satisfaction brings it back. It has to. That is the reason I am in this café, waiting for David after I made the spontaneous decision to see him. I pull my oversized tracksuit over my belly, trying and failing to blend in with the scanty crowd.A wave of nostalgia hits me when someone passes with a tray of fish and chips. I need to call Clarissa. I don't understand how we let life, thesis and coursework pull us apart but we need to meet. Sending her a short text, I roll my lip between my teeth while awaiting her reply. If she replies before David comes, I will cancel our meeting. She comes first.I shouldn't be here.That seems to have become my new mantra and each time, things turn out better than I expect. I hope it's the case today. Taking a swig from the water bottle on the table while I wait for the first person to show up, I try to push the nagging thoughts out of my head.
Seconds of silence pass, when Josh doesn't seem to be leaving, I ask, "Who is Brendan?""Our brother, Brandon's twin." I blink, my head spins from the sudden information and my thoughts crash to a stop when he adds, "He is dead." Josh's smile is pitiful, I don't know when I move to stand beside him. I pat his shoulder. "He died in an accident."Brandon has a twin, a dead twin. It's all I can think while my hand meets Josh's shoulder in an awkward show of comfort. He pries my hand off him with a smile I don't comment on because of how fake it is. I rub my hand against my hip. Brandon has a dead twin.Seeing how shaken I am by the news, Josh pushes me into his seat, I sink gratefully into it. I shouldn't have asked. My husband should have told me himself. "When did he die?""A while ago."I snap. "How long is a while ago?""Five years," he rep
Josh catches up to me before I reach the house, he offers me a smile, I shrug. None of this is his fault. We take a seat by the kitchen window, staring at the trio seated inside the gazebo. From our position here, we can't see their lips moving but I can't help wishing they will start a conversation. Talk to each other even if it ends in a screaming bout."Do you think they will reconcile?"Josh snickers. He hops to the fridge like he pays rent and returns with a huge chunk of cake. The leftover I had saved to munch on later because I can't resist anything sugary and his family didn't let me enjoy it. Fleeting anger surges through me, I close my eyes."Nope. Not a chance," he says. I turn to see him dragging another stool close to me.The poise and gracefulness he was forced to adapt when we were outside vanish when he gobbles the cake. I smile foolishly, this is the Josh I know. Slapping his knee, I mot
The gazebo is deathly quiet and the tension promises to suffocate us. Everything is going well, if you count the curt greetings from Brandon's snobbish parents. Queen Elizabeth doesn't hold a candle to Brandon's mother with her prim and proper manners, wrinkles and white hair cropped short. All she needs is a crown and I'll genuflect before her.Brandon's dad is an older beardless version of him with thinning hair. He is so quiet, the kind of quiet that allows his haughty wife freedom to speak to people as she pleases. A minute after exchanging greetings and I can already tell it was a bad idea to invite them.Seated beside Brandon, muscles tight and frustrated at my lack of release, I drum my fingers on my legs hidden under the table. He didn't have to punish me this way. I am pregnant, he shouldn’t leave me horny. One look at him shows that's the least of his worries.He is as tensed as I am, maybe even more and a wave of gu