Images splash across my screen, pictures of Brandon and the lady from the eatery. The caption under the post describes her and their relationship, in two words: business partners. I exit the site, a heaviness settles in my chest when the link to the post catches my eyes. It is the last message Brandon sent me. An explanation and a link, he wanted me to think nothing of what I saw. Because it is nothing. My imagination played me.
Cursing myself doesn't work, the words on my screen refuse to disappear. I jump from the bed and pace the length of my room. I fucked up. How could I send that to him?
I pause at the door. He should have called. I facepalm, why would he? I told him to fuck off. Fuck. My face scrunches. But it was a mistake. The text was for David. My fingers hover above the call button like it has been doing since I sent him that text. I don't call.
The insecure part of me keeps replaying the image of his arm on her sl
Dinner is a painful affair until Pa arrives. The atmosphere changes, I hold my breath when he pulls out a seat and share a worried glance with Brandon whose discomfort is palpable. Only Ma seems to find the situation funny. Why won't she when she's sitting between me and my husband, asking questions about a trip she knows he never went on. My foot drum into the floor, I stir the food in my plate without tasting it.Behind Ma's polite smiles directed at Brandon, false interest in every answer he gives to her question is simmering anger. And I am partly to blame for it. If I did not break down, he would have still been in her good books. Casting him another furtive glance, my nails dig into my hips when his eyes remain glued to his plate like he has resigned to his fate.Defeat doesn't become him, it breaks my heart to see him this way and I clear my throat to interrupt Ma's next question. Her head snaps to me, I maintain eye contact and she s
Once the door of my room is locked, the first statement Brandon utters is, "I am sorry." Everything slows. My foot pushing forward hangs in the air momentarily and drops with a thud. I gasp, it is barely audible but the silence lends the sound volume.He is sorry.Tears pool in my eyes, my hand goes over my mouth. "You have never apologised."My eyes round to saucers, I stare at his rigid back. Brandon has always apologised with his actions rather than words, until now, I didn't realise how much those three words could mean to me. A strange feeling washes over me, I giggle once, soon, I am laughing hysterically. Not in mockery of me or him but pure delight, awe. Oh, my God. He is sorry.He spins so fast, I back up against the door. "Is it too late?" I shake my head, he takes my hands, eyes closing. "I am sorry for leaving for Paris without resolving the issue like you wanted us to. I am sorry I didn’t tell you about
"No, don't move," I mutter. Brandon's hand returns to my lower back, I snuggle closer to him, needing more of our skin to skin contact. The throb between my leg grows, I moan.Buried inside my warmth, none of us speaks. My room is quiet except for our breathing which seems to grow louder in the darkness. I like having him in my comfort zone. I like the feel of him inside me, no sex, just inside me, making us one. He still owes me a kiss. My cheek presses to his chest, I draw circles around his nipples and he cups my butt.Chills run down my spine at the sensations spreading through me as he traces the skin between my ass, I lift and lower myself back to his dick immediately and we both moan at the brief, pleasant thrill that racks our body. His chest rises and falls, the rhythm of his heartbeat should have lured me to sleep but I have spent too much time sleeping.Sleep is far from me now. I don't even want to sleep, I want to enjoy
Brandon is in our kitchen. Brandon is in my parent's kitchen. With Ma. I am trying to stay calm after they forced me out of the kitchen but I can’t. What if Ma slaps him again but with the skillet? Shit. I place a hand over my rioting heart. Okay. She is not violent."Amahle." I stop pacing at the sound of Pa’s voice. "Come." He pats the empty spot on the couch, I shuffle to sit beside him. "Why are you worried?" he says. He thinks I’m overreacting but he is not aware Ma hit Brandon. I don't want him to find out. "Tell me."A voice comes from the television, he reduces the volume and I hide a smile, he is still invested in the Saturday morning news. Folding my legs, I tug on the hem of my gown. I am on a mission to seduce Brandon. This morning ended with me on his chest; no sex.Pa gawks at me, I realise I haven't provided him with an answer. "I’m not." A brow lifts, I sigh. I don't know how they do it but he and Ma can see through
Monday morning meets us scrambling to get my belongings to the car. Ma is the only one awake, after a quick greeting and kisses to my cheeks, I hurry down to the car to wait for Brandon. He seems testy, he didn't kiss or hug me good morning. For now, I am keeping mute, I have no intentions of ruining the memories of yesterday, our lazy day.Operation Reassure Brandon is still in the works but my head is empty, idea tank dry. How do I convince my husband he deserves the best life has to offer? I tug on the sleeve of the woollen sweater Ma handed to us, my eyes droop and I struggle to stay awake.The door opens, I shoot up and relax when I see Brandon. "What took you so long?" He flashes a grin that should have appeased me, I scowl. "Why do we have to leave early?""Your mother. She wanted to talk to me."Sleep disappears from my eyes, my head snaps in his direction and he starts the car. I know Ma no long
Our ride home is in peaceful silence as if we fear we will break the tranquillity achieved at the river. Throughout the journey, I can't help thinking about my first sunrise. People talk about how surreal the experience is and they are right, it's too perfect to put into words. One of those memories you lock in your heart archives, visit on your bad days."Elna."Reality sets in, I look to Brandon with a smile. We are home. "You are the best husband ever," I say."You think?" I nod.The unease in his eyes unleashes a ball of worry inside my belly, I lift myself to his laps to straddle him and his arms circle my waist. Caressing his jaw, I ask, "What's wrong?"His smile is nervous. "Are you ready to meet Brianna?" I nod, smoothening the lines on his forehead. We just witnessed a beautiful sunrise, I don't want anything to take that from us. I lean in to press a kiss to his lips but his un
Brandon is clingy. No, I am clingy. I don't want my husband to leave me for work. My grip on his arm tightens, he groans into my ear, kissing away my resistance until I let go."You are leaving me," I say.Another kiss lands behind my ear, trailing to my neck, my jaw and my lips. "To work, wifey." Rolling to my back, my robe opens, he cups one of my overly sensitive breasts and kneads the nipple. I suck in a ragged breath. "So I can have enough money to spoil you." I snicker.Unable to resist him, my eyes fly open and I thrust my tongue into his mouth. I pour my emotions into the kiss, kissing him fast and then slow until he pulls back to stare into my eyes. Shrugging off my robe, I fold my legs at the knees while my fingers move to the waistband of his boxers which I tug on until he grabs my hands above my head. My legs lock around his waist, my hips jerk forward and my crotch brushes his bulge. He hisses."I'll be
Nausea or fatigue, I don’t know which I will pick. Right now, I am tired of being tired from doing nothing all day. Pregnancy is a lot of work. Brandon is acting suspicious, my advisor is giving me hell, my shirts are tighter, jeans barely fit. Everything is against me.Taking the stairs two at a time in a yoga pant pulled over my football-sized bump, I step into the kitchen and head straight for the fridge, the bottle of Nutella hidden behind an egg box. Sunlight baths the top of the island in a golden glow, I dip my hand into the chill chocolate goodness, scooping it into my mouth. Brandon will have a heart attack if he sees me right now with chocolate staining the corners of my lips but that can never equal the headache from my overthinking due to his attitude. He can't even act normal.He had better not be cheating on me or I will cut off his balls and feed it to him. He can't cheat. He won't.With the stress of hand
"You promised," he whispers. He lets go of me to run his hands through his hair. "You promised me, Elna. Your beginning, middle and end." Jumping to his feet, he folds his hands behind his head and murmurs, "You promised. You can't leave me. Baby, please."Unable to look him in the eyes, I bury my face into the pillow and continue shaking my head. I know the answer to his question now, I am so certain of it. Do I still want him? Yes, I will always want him, more than I have ever wanted anyone but I can't have him.Murder is murder and he killed his brother.And it hurts.It hurts every fibre of my being. I love him so much it hurts to think of a future without him. I don't think I can stop loving him but when I look at him, all I see is a killer. If I cannot look past his sins then I shouldn't be in his life. It will be our secret, it's not in my place to tell other people and I am fine with that. I wi
It is hard.Really hard.
He doesn't regret it. But he feels bad. What does that mean? I race down the stairs as fast as I can, my car keys dangling in my hand. Hopefully, I look sane with the way I hurriedly dressed and left. I need to talk to Clarissa but about what? Do I want to tell her what Brandon said? What if she calls the police on him? Will she do that? She won't.
I wake to amber eyes staring down at me. I flash Brandon a sleepy smile, he presses a kiss to my hair and I giggle, he must love my new shampoo. "You slept well?" I ask.He nods, placing another kiss on my temple. "I did, you?" he says against my skin and I hum in response, loving the wet kisses he litters on
The next day, my phone is pinging with notifications. David shoots me a grateful text I don't reply, I am sure he doesn't expect one, we are not friends. My finger hovers over the delete option on his contact, I hesitate. It won’t hurt to have it so I save his number, something I had failed to do. Bored, I send Brandon an SOS and switch off my phone.Time to take matters into my hands.Bathed, shaved and clad in lace lingerie that barely holds my breasts and reveals my bump, I sit up, legs crossed while awaiting that click that will announce his entrance. He won't talk to me like a normal person and now, I am pissed. And horny. And frustrated.The click to signify his presence sounds, reverberating in the room. I shoot up from the bed as fast as a pregnant woman approaching her third semester can and saunter to the door, swinging my hips. Brandon eyes me from head to toe, the appreciative glint in his gaze is missing but I shrug tha
Curiosity kills the cat. Satisfaction brings it back. It has to. That is the reason I am in this café, waiting for David after I made the spontaneous decision to see him. I pull my oversized tracksuit over my belly, trying and failing to blend in with the scanty crowd.A wave of nostalgia hits me when someone passes with a tray of fish and chips. I need to call Clarissa. I don't understand how we let life, thesis and coursework pull us apart but we need to meet. Sending her a short text, I roll my lip between my teeth while awaiting her reply. If she replies before David comes, I will cancel our meeting. She comes first.I shouldn't be here.That seems to have become my new mantra and each time, things turn out better than I expect. I hope it's the case today. Taking a swig from the water bottle on the table while I wait for the first person to show up, I try to push the nagging thoughts out of my head.
Seconds of silence pass, when Josh doesn't seem to be leaving, I ask, "Who is Brendan?""Our brother, Brandon's twin." I blink, my head spins from the sudden information and my thoughts crash to a stop when he adds, "He is dead." Josh's smile is pitiful, I don't know when I move to stand beside him. I pat his shoulder. "He died in an accident."Brandon has a twin, a dead twin. It's all I can think while my hand meets Josh's shoulder in an awkward show of comfort. He pries my hand off him with a smile I don't comment on because of how fake it is. I rub my hand against my hip. Brandon has a dead twin.Seeing how shaken I am by the news, Josh pushes me into his seat, I sink gratefully into it. I shouldn't have asked. My husband should have told me himself. "When did he die?""A while ago."I snap. "How long is a while ago?""Five years," he rep
Josh catches up to me before I reach the house, he offers me a smile, I shrug. None of this is his fault. We take a seat by the kitchen window, staring at the trio seated inside the gazebo. From our position here, we can't see their lips moving but I can't help wishing they will start a conversation. Talk to each other even if it ends in a screaming bout."Do you think they will reconcile?"Josh snickers. He hops to the fridge like he pays rent and returns with a huge chunk of cake. The leftover I had saved to munch on later because I can't resist anything sugary and his family didn't let me enjoy it. Fleeting anger surges through me, I close my eyes."Nope. Not a chance," he says. I turn to see him dragging another stool close to me.The poise and gracefulness he was forced to adapt when we were outside vanish when he gobbles the cake. I smile foolishly, this is the Josh I know. Slapping his knee, I mot
The gazebo is deathly quiet and the tension promises to suffocate us. Everything is going well, if you count the curt greetings from Brandon's snobbish parents. Queen Elizabeth doesn't hold a candle to Brandon's mother with her prim and proper manners, wrinkles and white hair cropped short. All she needs is a crown and I'll genuflect before her.Brandon's dad is an older beardless version of him with thinning hair. He is so quiet, the kind of quiet that allows his haughty wife freedom to speak to people as she pleases. A minute after exchanging greetings and I can already tell it was a bad idea to invite them.Seated beside Brandon, muscles tight and frustrated at my lack of release, I drum my fingers on my legs hidden under the table. He didn't have to punish me this way. I am pregnant, he shouldn’t leave me horny. One look at him shows that's the least of his worries.He is as tensed as I am, maybe even more and a wave of gu