Chapter 3

“David, could you please drive a bit faster?” I asked for the millionth time since I entered the car from the airport. David may even be getting irritated with me but he was doing an amazing job hiding it from me. 

“Young mistress I can assure you that I am driving as responsibly fast as I am allowed to” he also replied to me for the millionth time and his tone held no grudge just understanding.

I had asked him if Dad was at home and knew I was coming home but he kept avoiding the questions or plainly ignoring it. His silence was doing little to nothing to pacify me but instead made me more nervous.

It was like experiencing 12-year-old me again when mom left us after her long struggle with cancer. I had been in school, eager for the torturous day to come to an end so I could go home and sit by mom’s side and read her favourite book from my bookshelf to her, only I didn’t need to wait till the school was over.

I was called to the principal’s office and I had gone there thinking about what I had done to warrant being called to the principal office. I could not recall having done anything that would be considered a crime or would warrant a scolding or even acknowledgement. When I arrived at Principal Heather’s office, I was surprised to see David seated across from the principal, a panicked look on his face. The principal’s grim facial expression was not helping either.

“You called ma’am” I asked cautiously, flickering my gaze between her and David. She didn’t answer me immediately, and I still wonder up to this day if she did that for dramatic effect. 

“Yes Miss Reyes, I did send for you. You are to go with Mr David, your dad has requested you come home immediately so go and get your things” She had made sure to enunciate each word putting unnecessary emphasis. 

“What’s wrong David, is everything okay? Why do I have to go home?” Dad had never had any reason to pick me up or have someone pick me up early from school so this was a first and it didn’t sit right with me.

“Your dad is waiting, go pack up your things immediately. Hurry up”  he urged me and for some reason unknown to me back then, he would not meet my gaze as though the whole answer I was searching for had been carved into his eyes.

From the look on David’s face and the urgency in his voice as he spoke, I knew something was wrong and deep down I knew it had something to do with mom but it was a truth I was not willing to digest at that moment. I just nodded my head and ran out of the office after giving both of them one final look.

The class had been startled when I ran in, paying no heed to anyone, not even the history teacher who had almost jumped out of her skin as the door married the wall with a loud slam. I dashed to my seat dumped all my items that had been laid on the table inside my bag and moved with the speed of lightning as I exited the car.

When we got home, the air surrounding my home had been too solemn and smelled just how I imagined those creepy houses that were used in haunted movies, an exaggeration on my part. Then I didn’t know what death smelled like but that was what I identified as.

Mom had been laying on the bed where she had been for more than two weeks now but this time it seemed as though she was unable to open her eyes even as I approached her. Dad was sitting on her left side and was holding her hands saying something to her. I knew I saw tears but he wiped them and said straight as soon as I walked into the room heading straight for his opened arms.

“Dad, what’s wrong with mom? Is she okay?” I walked to his side and he sat me down on his lap, giving me a tight hug. I didn’t even know why I was whispering but I had concluded that she was asleep and did not want to disturb her. She was always sleeping these days. It was as though it had become a hassle to keep her eyes open.

“Your mom is just going to sleep for a long time now so we have to be here for her so she isn’t afraid to sleep” He explained and all I could do was look at him as though he had gone crazy. I asked myself why mom would need us to be by her side so she could sleep. She slept alone just fine even when dad went away for business trips that could last weeks or even months.

I wanted to ask my dad the question that had been bothering me but he looked like he would be unable to give me any answer without crying to let it be.

It was strange that Dad’s eyes were red and brimming with tears that threatened to fall when Mom was just going to sleep. Was it possible to miss someone enough to cry just because they were going to be asleep for some hours? Would I be just like that by the time I was older? Crying just because my husband was going to sleep?

I turned back to look at mom so I could study her face and how she looked. Everything about the way she laid gave me chills and I was even forced to shiver when the thoughts hit me so I leaned further into my dad and watched her.

We sat there and watched her fall asleep slowly just as Dad had said she would but this time it seemed as though she wasn’t just sleeping, her breathing seemed to be slower. She couldn’t talk or open her eyes but the doctors said she was aware we were present. I later held her hands and talked about my half day at school until the line went silent.

Death was a foreign thing to me so I did not fully understand what was happening and why it was happening. It was when some guys in white walked into our room to wheel mom away I began to panic at the situation.

I immediately started to shake dad erratically asking him where they were taking mom to when she was sleeping and why he was doing nothing but watch them as they took her away. She was only going to sleep so why were they taking her away? I didn’t want them to disturb her so I attached my feeble hands to the bed and attempted to prevent the men from wheeling her away.

I had asked my dad who had yet to move or look away from mom’s pale face why those strange men were taking mom away when she was just sleeping. It was one of my worst memories and I did what I could to push the memories of that day to the back of my mind. 

“Young mistress we have arrived” huh? I looked around to see we had indeed entered our house and David had parked on the front porch. I had been so deeply lost in my thoughts that I had not even realized when we completed the twenty-minute drive from the airport to our large estate. 

Once David’s statement registered, I pulled open the door as realization set in and dashed into the large mansion that was not bustling with activities like I had left it three months ago.

As I ran upstairs, I did not see any of our staff around but that was the least of my worries at the moment. I don’t even know why I was running but I knew I had to. There was no way the panic I was feeling was normal. I used to love our large house and the long stairs and long hallways but now I hate it. The time it took me to get to the east wing where dad’s bedroom was located was far too long for my liking. Were the hallways always so long?

I slid to a halt as all the household staff were hanging outside the door of my dad’s bedroom. Some even had their ears pressed to the door as though they were getting a piece of the juiciest rumour in town but the fear and worry on their face told me otherwise.

They had yet to notice me standing behind them as I watched each and every one of them, their expression having me rooted to the spot, too scared to open the bedroom door and see what was going on. 

“What are you doing?” I jumped as David’s voice came from behind me and I wasn’t the only one who was startled. Those who were standing by the door quickly ran to stand by the wall as far from the door as though they had been burned.

“Young Miss, Go on inside” David ushered me towards the door. I took in a deep breath before walking towards the door. My head was pounding and I could feel the blood rush to my ears as I approached the door. It was as though my legs had become too heavy for my body. The hallways had become way too silent for me as the silence became too loud even for me. Why was I even this afraid? I asked myself for the nth time.

I got to the door but my hand would not lift to open it. A hand came from behind me to open the door, making the decision for me before I could stall any longer.

“Go In, don’t stall any longer” David spoke from behind me. 

I walked into the room and I could not help the gasp at the sight that laid before me. Dad’s bedroom had been turned into a hospital room in the ICU. Surrounding my dad’s bed were different monitors and pipes that were attached to someone on the bed. Someone I refused to believe was the strong, healthy man who raised me to be the person I am today. 

I rushed towards the bed to take a good look at my dad, the person who was all skin and bones laying on the bed with an oxygen mask on. How had he changed so much in just three months?  Why was he attached to so many monitors? He looked …. Lifeless, dead. His skin was so deadly white, that he was practically a breathing skeleton. He had become so small almost like a young adult who had failed to develop properly. 

I looked at the doctor and the nurse who had both been silently staring at me since I walked in. How long has this been going on? Why had no one told me that he was this sick?

“What’s wrong with him? Why does he look that way? How long?” I asked brokenly. I could feel my body tremble as I took my eyes off him to pin them on the doctor. He was slowly becoming blurry. 

“He has been battling lung cancer for over four years now”  Lung cancer? Four years? What was the doctor even saying? How would Dad have cancer and I would not be aware? He had always looked healthy to me. He didn’t look sick when I left the house three months ago so why was the doctor spewing rubbish right now? 

My legs chose this exact moment to decide that they didn’t want to support me anymore and I found myself hitting the floor in shock. Cancer again?  Just like mom?