Chapter 9 - The struggle within.

Lyra

It takes the old lady in the library a couple of minutes and some moving about, but after half an hour, she confirms it. The file is indeed mine. Or my information. She wasn’t very happy to find out that I took it out of the library.

She is, however, kind enough to make me a copy and as I make my way back to the store, I feel lost. I have found out the one thing that has always been bugging me, but I feel more lost than I have ever felt before.

The librarian was sure that the letter in the folder was from my mother, but after all the disappointment in my life, I’m still not sure if I should believe it. I tell Mrs. Duncan everything I found out in the hope that it would make it feel more real, but it doesn’t.

For the next four days, I go back and forth on whether it is true and finally, I settle on that it is. I also believe that it is because of this that Eli never told me. He probably thought he was protecting me. Eli wasn’t a bad husband.

He was always kind and loving. Well, mostly. We had our fights and our life wasn’t perfect, but I thought it was until that awful day. That is the only real thing that came between us. I roll my eyes at my own thoughts.

Who am I kidding?! Eli and I had a lot of problems. I just kept myself blind to them all. As I’m making my way down the street for lunch a week after I last saw Silas, I come to an abrupt halt.

“Dammit!” I want to whip around and walk the other way, but he has already seen me. That will teach me! I had to think about him so he appears! I slowly start walking again and note the huge smile on his face.

“Hi beautiful. How are you doing?” He surprises me by pulling me into his arms and kissing each cheek before letting me go. He is with three guys and two girls who are carefully studying me.

“Hi. I’ve been better. What are you doing here?” I try to change the subject after almost spilling the beans about my entire life history.

“Well, we were getting a little bored at home and thought we would come to town for some entertainment. Feel like joining us for lunch?” He looks so damn happy. Confident. Casual … It’s irritating!

“I would have loved to, but I have to get back to work.” I point in the direction of the store and blatantly lie. I am not in the market for new friends. Besides, I wanted to do some shopping and I don’t want him around for that.

The last thing I need is for him to figure out that I’m carrying his child. I don’t want him to propose and try to take care of me, and something tells me that he is the type of guy who takes his responsibilities seriously.

I almost roll my eyes at my own thoughts. I don’t even know the man! I can’t make those kinds of assumptions. I’m about to say goodbye when he hooks my arm into the crook of his and grins.

“I’m sure she won’t mind if you are a little late.” He winks and smiles as I’m almost dragged off to the diner. As we sit down in a booth, I fight the urge to barf. The aromas that would normally be so inviting are just making me feel sick at the moment.

But that is not what catches my attention. I smell something. I can’t place my finger on it, but it’s definitely there. It’s almost … I shake my head and force the idea out of my head before it can form. I’ve clearly spent far too much time with werewolves.

“So, you are Eli’s Luna?” Silas’s words shock me to my core and I gape at him. “You had better close that pretty mouth before …” He laughs as he closes my jaw with his index finger.

“Wait a minute?” I didn’t tell him. I gave him Eli’s name, but I didn’t … How did he? When did he? Does he know Eli personally? My mind is running a mile a minute as I just stare at him before I realize I have to answer his question.

“I was his Luna. Like I said, we are separated and he cheated.” I sigh and silence falls around us as our order arrives. I’m really not hungry, but I have to look as normal as possible, and I try to force that first bite down while avoiding eye contact with Silas.

“Look, I know your mind is probably going crazy right now, so let me set it at ease. We are also the same.” Silas waves his one hand through the air. I look around to see if anybody can hear us, but his people are making enough noise to block out our conversation from any eavesdroppers.

“I didn’t know that there were more of you.” I wouldn’t admit it, but I’m a little interested.

“I think you will be shocked if you know how many. Is the baby his?” He shocks me again, and I have to force my jaw shut for a moment before answering him.

“How do you know about that?” I frown feeling angry and very protective all of a sudden.

“I can hear its heartbeat. Wolf hearing remember.” He grins, but I don’t find it amusing. Has he figured out that he is the father? Is that why he is asking? I sigh and take a bite of my sandwich to give me a moment to decide if I’m going to tell him.

“No. Eli and I never got pregnant. I guess that much is a blessing.” There, I said it. Sort of. I wait as the information sets in, and his gaze slowly settles on me. His eyes are filled with excitement. It’s almost as if he just found out a huge secret that he really wants to share, but he can’t.

“Before you ask. It can only be yours. I don’t go around doing what we did. In fact, besides Eli, you are the only other man that I’ve ever …” My words are silenced as he jumps up and whoops with delight while pulling me out of the chair and swinging me around in the air.