Chapter 12 - Recollection

He had been the first to submit to her willingly, happily. He still recalled how her electrifying gaze had never left his, even when they had become the last of the pack still standing in that snow-covered clearing. She had his main focus, still is he mused, and he had been hers, as it should have been since their first meeting. 

The air had been still, and for once since they had officially met, they had been in sync with one another. It was a foreign feeling, to be completely hers and vice versa. 

As much as he had wished to stay that way forever, Alexa was still weak, locked away by the wolf in their shared psyche. And he had to bring her back so that they could help her heal. 

‘Change back,’ he had urged after what seemed like an eternity had passed of them just existing side by side. The she-wolf had merely growled at him, her lip curling in displeasure and her gaze turning to ice at his urging. 

‘Free,’ her voice, which was so foreign yet so very familiar at the same time, had brushed across his subconscious through the bond they shared. 

‘Mate,’ she’d called out to him, there had been a whine in her throat, almost begging him to understand that she didn’t want to be caged all over again. 

‘Mate,’ his wolf had responded almost instantly, reassuring, comforting, and affirmative in his agreement, flickers of joy had settled in the pit of his stomach, 

‘Safe,’ he had assured, once again urging the she-wolf to give in and allow Alexa back to the forefront of their shared psyche. 

‘Hurt, not strong enough,’ The wolf shook her head, and he had just known she was referring to her human side. Alexa, who had gone through so much in those last twelve hours, would have been weak and fragile, her psyche damaged, her body taken through the ringer, but if she didn’t change back soon, he was afraid she’d never recover. 

‘We will protect her, protect you both,’ 

After a few more attempts of reassurance, she had given him a look, before he saw her bright electric eyes dim. And she had begun her first change from wolf to human. 

He could still remember how fragile, and pale Alexa had been, laying there naked and unconscious, surrounded by the snow. Her eyebrows were scrunched up, her lips, pink and full parted as her breath escaped in hurried shallow puffs, visible by white mist. 

Her fiery red hair stood out the most amongst all the white, like a flaming halo around her head, long and luscious, a contrast to how frail she had seemed to him in that moment, curled up in a fetal position, her pale skin as white at the snow beneath her and speckled with freckles. 

He had shifted back too, and had scooped her up into his arms, her skin felt like ice against his naturally heated body. She hadn’t even stirred when he lifted her from the ground, nor when he had started making his way back to the pack house.

Jayden had been waiting for him, just beyond the tree line, with Griffon, still in his wolf-form, standing protectively beside her. His eyes had been downcast out of respect for the naked woman in his arms. Jayden had gingerly stepped forward, her lips a slight blue color, her hands shaking in the cold, but still she stubbornly held out a blanket that had been tucked into her arms. 

‘Griffon said she’d be cold, I brought this for her,’ She had said, and she stepped forward and laid the thick blanket over Alexa’s naked body, offering her warmth against the cold, and protection from wandering eyes. 

They had walked back toward the pack house in silence after that, and they had never spoken of that day again. 

Things had only become more difficult after that, he’d realized, as he now walked back on the same path as that day, only this time Alexa wasn’t safely tucked into his arms, in fact she’d rarely ever let him touch her, as if his touch burned her flesh. 

His heart ached at the mere thought. Alexa often avoided his gaze almost as much as she did his touch. And there was always this emotion, not quite fear, but far too strong to be just mere discomfort permeating through their bond. 

Although it was frustrating, he attempted to reign in his impatience, if only for her sake, because underneath that gut twisting emotion, he could feel this underlying desire to be near him, very similar to his own need to be with her. It soothed the hurt he felt when she rejected his touch, even if it was only slightly. 

Still, he thought to himself, she always sought him out for comfort whenever she was overwhelmed and that allowed hope to blossom in his chest. Because, as far as he could recall, this had been the most open to their bond she had ever been and that hope was what he held onto, for it was hope for their future together.