Chapter 6: Ugly memory

As soon as his head got too close to mine, I head-butted the bridge of his nose which caused him to raise his head placing his hands on his nose as it probably stings by now, I quickly passed by him and got out of the room.

" You know this is your room, right? You will eventually come back." He shouted.

I decided to go speak with Gerald to see for myself what is he talking about. I headed to his office and knocked on his door, he granted me permission to go in and I stepped into the office then sat on the armchair facing Gerald who was immersed in some papers.

" What do you need?" He asked coldly as he pushed the papers aside to focus on our conversation.

I had a lot to ask but facing him like that made me forgot what I wanted to say, his aura is so dominating. I have to be careful from now on when dealing with him and choose my words carefully.

" I heard that you might want to marry me off to your son," I stated honestly.

" So?" 

So? He did not even deny it, is it really true? What is he thinking? Those people are crazy. 

" That wasn't a part of our deal though..." 

" Not because I want it to happen means it will actually happen." He replied.

“ I am not someone worthy of this position and your son would never love me." I retorted.

" Marriage doesn't only necessitate love, little one." 

" I will ask you again, sir. Why me? You must have a reason." 

I was adamant to know the reason why he chose to waste money on me particularly.

" I was there on that rainy day." 

My mind went blank, a rainy day? Is he perhaps...

" I guess that answers your question, don't forget that dinner at 8 pm. Don't be late." He instructed.

I didn't reply and dragged myself out of the room, my body got hotter and my legs went numb. My stomach started clashing and I ran to the bathroom quickly as I opened the toilet seat and puked my stomach out. I felt sick as I recalled an ugly scene that I wanted to be buried my whole life. I felt footsteps coming from behind me.

Shawn was patting on my back as I vomited repeatedly. After I finished, I tried hard to get up but couldn't, Shawn lift me up and carried me to my bed, he covered my body with a blanket and called for the maid to take care of me. My vision was blurry and my temperature kept rising. I sensed lips upon mine and heard a faint voice...

" You should recall this kiss when you wake up or I will have to give you another one," Shawn whispered, a few seconds later, I blacked out.

*************

Our roof could not protect us from the droplets of water that found their way to our bodies, the rain was so heavy that day and my mom didn't have any power in her body to move an inch. I was forcing food inside her throat trying to keep her alive as long as possible. Her body was alive but her soul died a long time ago. I looked at her skeletal figure and tears started rolling down my cheeks.

I sat in the room's corner hugging my knees wishing that dad would never come back but unfortunately, he did, the slut he was having sex with was also with him, I was enraged by the fact that she had the audacity to show up in our house. Dad was so drunk and fell to the floor right away; she stood there looking at my mom and me with utmost disgust.

" I can't believe she didn't die yet." She said smirking at my face.

Her face was enough to make my blood boil; I lost it when she kicked my mother's body as I watched my mom fall on her side. She kept hitting my mom so I pushed her away. I kept pulling her tiny dress dragging her outside. The dress she wore was now torn apart thanks to me; she glared at my petite 12 years old body and started chasing after me.

I ran as fast as I can but she managed to catch me, we were soaked by the rain and her face looked, even more, scarier since the mascara blackened her face. She kept hitting me repeatedly; I hugged her leg trying to stop her but in vain. My breathing was unstable now; I spotted a shard of glass next to me so I grabbed it and swung it her way. 

She laughed and held my hair strongly closing the distance between our faces underestimating me. I meant to push her away but what actually happened is that...

' A woman was found dead in a dark alley by XXX street. Her throat was slit open by a sharp weapon. There is no CCTV in any of the streets around. In addition, the police couldn't get a hold of the killer's fingerprints because of the rain. This case keeps being unsolved to this day. '

My dad was watching the news, I couldn't bear the suffocating feeling inside the tiny room we lived in and I was watching a gore scene on an empty stomach, that is when I developed this trauma of mine. I still have difficulty breathing and puke whenever I recall that scene, I killed a woman with my own hands after all and I will not be able to brush off the guilt my whole life.

I had committed a grave sin at the age of 12, my mom died after three months of the incident when I turned 13 years old. At that point, in time, I thought that my fate would be the same as my mom and that woman if I did not get out of the shithole I am living in. That motivation kept me going up until now. I had to study hard, succeed in life and prove to the world that unlucky children can still manage to find happiness.

*************