8. By Any Means

So, um... Yeah, I might have gone a bit overboard. But there was no tv in the vacation home we were staying at and the drive over to germany took 5 hours, so I had time to write. And starting new stories is really easy for me, because I hardly have to think.

But this is the last chapter I've written so far. Lol.

chapter 8:

Atalanta’s pov

Raiden’s questions were making me notice, and I didn’t even realize I was tapping my food. Lying didn’t come naturally to me. Being close to people didn’t feel normal to me. Having a normal conversation was already very strange, since I was usually ignored.

But I had done my best to remember my bio by heart.

Did the hunter back home think I wouldn’t stand out? That I’d never have to answer even one of these questions? Did they see me as a mouse as well? Someone who’s small and can go wherever she wants without being noticed?

Because, for some reason, these two men do notice me. They notice me far too well.

Stay calm, Lana. I thought, trying to test the new nickname out.

Raiden’s hand grabbed my upper leg, keeping it still. But it didn’t stay there. His large hands moved up and down, trying to calm me. But instead, it was doing something else. Did he notice how dangerously close his fingers came to my core each time his hand went up?

Zev sat on my other side, his bare arm against mine. Both their perfumes smelled so good, and for a second, my mind went to a place it should not go.

It was wrong, but I started picturing me and them. Together.

I barely know anything about sex, but just the idea of them kissing me and touching me was enough to make me warm between my legs.

The moment I noticed it, I stopped. This was wrong. So wrong.

It was wrong to think, let alone do. I could never ever kiss either of these two men, let alone both of them. It wasn't just wrong; it was dirty. I am a disgusting person for even thinking about it. There must be something wrong with me to fantasize about not one monster but two at the same time.

My dream came back to the forefront of my mind, reminding me what would happen if I did.

Then Raiden got up and left without a word.

Was it my answer? Did I answer wrong? Did he know who I really am?

Zev chuckled nervously, “so, um. I’ll go chase behind him to see if he’s okay. You can eat the rest if you want. Or throw it out if you can’t finish it. I’ll see you for our tutoring session.”

I stared at the mountain of food in front of me. I was already full after eating some toast, but this could last me a few days. Thankfully, some of the food came in containers that I could use to store the rest.

Then I headed back to take a shower and get ready for class.

A very long shower because I still felt dirty from having these thoughts. They were wrong. Humans and werewolves shouldn’t mix. Werewolves shouldn’t even exist. They are an abomination.

Everything my parents and general Sweets said about these creatures came into my head.

They’re monsters. They have no morals; they act and think like animals because they are. They’re driven by lust, hunger, and bloodlust. They don't understand love the way we do, and if they get the chance, they will use us as slaves. 

But why are they so different from what I’ve been taught? Why is Suzie kind to me?

If they’re like animals, why go to school?

Maybe this is just so they can pretend to be humans?

But..

No. No, but. Questioning my family is wrong. I’m dumb and don’t know the whole story. I should trust them. I don’t even know these people here. Choosing them over my family is crazy. It’s a death sentence.

If the people here learn who I really am, they will kill me, and if I’m sent home, they’ll kill me for going against their orders.

I got out of the shower and called General Sweets.

“Atalanta, this is a surprise. What’s your reason for calling unscheduled?”

“An alpha heir and his friend have been trying to befriend me and have offered to tutor me. How should I proceed?” Trying to keep any emotions out of my voice.

“You’re starting to sound like a real soldier. Stepping out of your brother’s shadow has been good for you, it seems.” While he was called General Sweets, there was nothing sweet about him. Even when he compliments you, it sounds scary. It somehow feels dirty. But at least he wasn’t angry with me. I had the fortune of never being in my great uncle’s way, but I had a feeling it would be much worse than the way my parents punished me.

He reminded me of a snake. He could start strangling you before you even realized what he was doing. He has a little thin mustache to add to match his scary face. I’m not sure if it's always been scary or if it became scary once he got scratched by a werewolf across his face.

One eye was hurt during the attack and is now white, like a milky eye. There’s a scar through his eyebrow; his cheek and part of his ear got torn off. It’s a reminder of what werewolves are capable of.

“Thank you, General.”

“It’s vital that you learn as much as possible. By any means necessary, Atalanta." He said in a stern voice, emphasizing the words "by any means."

What did he mean by that? Did that mean breaking the rules that were sacred to hunters? He wasn't implying what I think he was, was he? Could he really mean I had to seduce werewolves to get answers?

My silence made General Sweets sigh. It was never a good sign when the general sighed. 

“Are we clear? You do whatever it takes, and you will be rewarded for your hard work.”

“Yes, understood.” I quickly said, even if I wasn't sure exactly what he meant.

“I’m very impressed with the work you’re doing. You are making your family proud.” General Sweets said before hanging up.

Nobody had ever said I was doing a good job, and my family had never been proud of anything I had done.

With a lump in my throat, I decided to follow General Sweets’ orders. Whatever it took.

Since it was warm out, I decided to wear a dress. It used to belong to mom, and it was a bit big on me, but it had string that you could tie around your waist.

Maybe it was time to pretend like I belonged here. I wasn’t able to hide anymore anyway.

I could do this.

The moment I closed the door behind me, I realized I couldn’t do this, at all. All I wanted to do was run back inside and grab a big shirt. I let my wet hair down, hoping hiding behind my hair would make me feel safe.

It was silly of me to think I could change this quickly. Like switching a button. Going from a mouse to a wolf in one second wasn’t possible. I had been conditioned to be small and invisible; standing out felt as unnatural to me as saying no or speaking back.

“Hey, just in time. I hoped to run into you. Let’s head to class, Lana!” Suzie said.

I followed behind her, hating how thin and pale my legs looked. I had never cared about how I looked, but suddenly I was aware of everything that was wrong with my body.

“So…. How did breakfast go?” Suzie asked.

“Raiden left suddenly, and Zev followed.” I said, not sure if I should share more.

“Strange… Well, I heard people talking about you and Raiden during track. They think he’s trying to get into your pants. Or dress in this case,” she joked.

I shook my head. It didn’t feel like he liked me like that. Although he did touch my leg in that way.

I blushed, thinking about the thoughts I had. No. Focus on your mission.

“Why wouldn’t he want you?” Suzie asked. “He’s been with most girls here. Thankfully, he takes no for an answer, unlike some of the other alpha heirs.”

“Did you ever…?”

Suzie chuckled, “nope. He’s so not my type. Besides, Raiden only ever goes for casual hookups. I’m looking for something more serious.”

We passed a few girls on the way to class who started to whisper. Suzie didn’t pay any attention to them, but I felt very self-conscious, especially since one of them pointed at me.

When we entered the class room, a lot of people had already taken their seats. I’m never late, and although the bell hadn’t rung yet, I felt like I did something wrong.

Someone in the back cleared his throat loudly, and when I looked up, I noticed it was Raiden. He didn’t say a word. Yet he pointed to two seats in front of him that were still empty.

I considered taking the seat in front of Zev, scared of what Raiden would do if I was close to him. But general Sweets did say by any means necessary. So I took the seat in front of Raiden.

For most of the class, he left me alone, until he took all of my hair in his hand and placed it over my right shoulder.

Raiden began tracing circles across my back with his index finger. I zoned out, concentrating only on the sensation until I began to feel sleepy. How could something so simple make me feel so relaxed?

I hadn’t paid attention to a single thing the teacher said from that point on.

“Atalanta, can you tell us how you would solve this problem?”

“Uh,…”

No, I can’t tell you because I have no clue in what class I’m currently in. And even if I did, it wouldn't matter, because I'm too stupid to pay attention.

“By alerting the Gamma,” Zev mumbled under his breath.

“Um, by alerting the Gamma?” I replied, unsure. So I actually lost focus during a class about werewolf stuff. Exactly the things I should be learning.

The teacher went on to ask another student a question, while I sat with a red face and my heart beating. Maybe Mom was right. Maybe I was too dumb to learn anything.

I had been here over a week, and every time a teacher asked me anything, I had no clue what to say.

“Sorry, little mouse…” Raiden whispered close to my ear. “Thank the Goddess Zev came to the rescue. What would we do without him?”