CHAPTER 4

Athena's POV

I'm going on a date with Nick today. You know the excitement of going on a date with a guy you like, all giddy and nervous? Well, I don't feel anything. If anything, I feel like cancelling, why the hell do I feel like I'm torturing myself.

Jess is here watching me put on makeup. "Promise me you'll have sex tonight." She says and I roll my eyes at her.

"I'm not promising anything." I say. "I don't even know where he's taking me or what we're doing." I add and it's her turn to roll her eyes.

"Excuses excuses, at least have fun tonight, Tee." She says. "You used to be fun." She adds and that stings a little, but I don't say anything to her.

I pull out a mid thigh skirt and a crop top to wear. Nick had not specified what we're doing so I'm going for a more casual look.

When I'm fully dressed I stare myself in the mirror, I look hot, beautiful but my eyes there's something in them that I don't recognize.

Maybe sadness or something.

I take a deep breath at the same time as I hear the doorbell.

I turn to Jess. "I'm going to go." I say and she nods.

"I'll chill here and enjoy your many luxury amenities." She says. "I'll leave before you get back in case you bring him back here." Jess adds excitedly and I nod okay.

I put on some knee-high boots and put on a coat before going downstairs to Nick.

Who looks absolutely gorgeous. He's dressed casually too. He's in a shirt and jeans.

"Tee." He drawls out looking at me, checking me out making my cheeks heat up.

"You look beautiful." He grinned, his eyes lighting up with hunger.

My belly tightened. Maybe Jess was right, I do miss sex and Nick is hot and I like him. The problem is I'm not sexually attracted to him as I would like.

"Thank you." I finally say noticing I haven't said anything.

"So where are we going?" I ask.

"First thing first, we're stopping by an art show my father is making everyone the family go." Nick says as he opens the car door for me then entering right after me.

"Art show?" Nick are we even dressed right for that?" I ask suddenly concerned. "Also do you think its a good idea to be seen together in public?"

"Of course, we're only stopping by briefly and we won't walk in together." He explains.

I want to ask him more questions but I don't instead I say hello to the driver and then go back to decent conversation with Nick.

We're reminiscing about our school ditch day when we pulled up in front of the building.

It's almost like a loft kind of but it's not, it's more sophisticated than that and of course everyone is dressed impeccably.

We're the only two in casual clothing thank God for my coat which cover my very short jeans mini skirt and my crop top.

At the door, the coat attendant asks to take my coat but Nick tells her not to worry we're only here for few minutes. Then we walk in separately.

"Okay so I see family, I'll look for my dad make sure he sees me, and we can leave." Nick explains and I nod okay before we part ways.

We walk around the exhibition and it's beautiful. I wouldn't say I'm a person interested in art, or maybe I just haven't seen this yet. But these are beautiful.

I take a champagne flute and walk around for a bit taken in all the beautiful art pieces on the wall. Everything is exceptional. I see a couple of familiar faces, that's the thing about New York there's always a familiar face around. A waiter accidentally walks into me, and the contents of my drink pours on my coat.

"Shit." I whisper.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." The waiter says over and over again looking absolutely distraught over walking into me.

"It's fine really." I say to the waiter reassuring him.

"Are you okay?" Nick asks joining me in the corner of the room looking at me and my now champagne stained coat.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just need a bathroom." I say.

"There's one upstairs. I'll walk with you."

"No no it's fine just show me where it is." I say.

He points me to it, and I tell him I'll be right back.

I walk up the stairs and unlock the door. It's dark up here, I put on the lights and quickly find a bathroom.

I take off the coat. I run where the drink spilled over water for a bit then I use the hand dryer to dry it off.

Thank God it isn't ruined. It's the new miu miu fall collection.

Once I'm done, I leave the bathroom going back into the room. It looks like a loft kind of apartment. There's a bed. It looks lived in, there are paint cans and canvases in the room.

Also there are unfinished paintings all over but there is one painting finished hanged on the wall.

I walk to it to look at it.

I'm speechless.

Can't be real. I'm hallucinating or something.

It's a painting of me. My face.

I look at it. Really look at it. Not sure if I'm seeing it or my mind is playing tricks on me but it's really a painting of me.

I've never seen anything so beautiful. It makes me want to cry.

A painting of me. The central figure—a solitary face—emerges from a backdrop of deep, brooding colors that seem to absorb all light. My eyes, brimming with raw, unspoken emotions, the intensity. The rich, dark hues of the canvas, ranging from shadowy blues to somber grays, so somber, melancholic atmosphere, amplifying the depth of sadness in the eyes, my eyes. So many details, I look tortured but at the same time there's something free about the painting and my eyes they look bright and happy. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

This painting captures a moment of profound introspection, inviting the viewer to connect with the profound sadness and complex emotions that linger within her gaze, my gaze.

Now I have so many questions. Did Nick paint this? But Nick can't paint. Did he bring me here to show me this? I have so many questions, none I can answer. Instead, I use the camera of my phone and take a picture of the painting before going back downstairs.

To find Nick. He can answer my questions.

Walking down the staircase I see him. It was a just a glance, but I saw him, it was him. My mystery guy from 5 years ago. I turned to look at him directly. Our gazes smashed together, and my legs nearly fell out from under me.

He was walking over to me. Standing right by the foot of the stairs. His eyes on me. I felt him everywhere.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I wasn't even sure how to breathe anymore.

Seconds passed by like hours, and finally he came up next to me, leaving no more than three inches, two maybe, between our shoulders.

He was towing over. He's so tall, so so tall.

Something I absolutely loved that about him. Still love that about him.

I looked at him, my gaze going over his features. I dragged my focus up from the tempting curve of his lips to his eyes, which were still dark and tortured, and swallowed.

I opened my mouth to say something but Nick cuts me off joining us.

"Athena there you are." Nick says as he looks over to the mystery guy with no regard whatsoever not even acknowledging him standing right there.

In a daze, I twisted around to find Nick as he brings his right arm pulling me to him and thank God for that, steadying me with his arm wrapped around me.

"We should go, I see my dad coming this way." Nick adds.

The mystery guy is still standing right there, watching me. His face totally unreadable.

Bright eyes and a neutral smile.

"Cassian, great show." Nick says to the mystery guy and before I know it, he drags me away without as much as an introduction.

What the hell just happened? Cassian? who is Cassian? 

I wait until Nick, and I have left before I finally ask about him.

I'm still in a daze of what just happened. After I left with Nick, he took me to an indoor mini golf place. He had it booked out for us, with a spread of all my favorite snacks and candies from when I little when we used to hangout, laid out on the counter. He's so thoughtful, I can't even believe he remembers.

I should be happy, I want to be happy here with him. Because Nick is everything but somehow, I'm not even fully here, my head is occupied with the thought of Cassian. Who up until today has been mystery guy to me.

"Who is Cassian?" I finally ask.

"My half brother." Nick says completely unaware how those three words made my heart skip. His what? They are brothers. No can't be right, Nick is an only child like me. He doesn't have siblings.

"Your half brother? You are an only child." I say and instantly my stomach churns.

"No actually, my father's love child before he married my mom and had me." Nick explains as he strikes golf balls completely unaware how deeply invested, I am in his explanation.

"But how have I never heard about him?" I ask.

 "Yeah we aren't that close, he grew up in France with his mother saw him only a few times a year." Nick explains and I nod. "Plus, the whole Cassian jr thing isn't my mom's favorite thing so it's totally avoided in our house." He adds and I nod again not sure what to say.

"So anyway it's what it is, a whole lot of family drama." Nick says and I smile. I have so many questions, but I don't even know where to start. I'm in a complete daze, still can't believe he and Nick are related.

They are brothers. I lost my virginity to his brother. How do I even bring it up? How do I tell the guy I'm on a date right now that I lost my virginity to his brother, and it's has been 5 years but I still can't forget it happened.

I dream about it. I crave it.

"What's going on in that pretty head?" Nick asks or at least that's what I think he asked, I was completely dissociating.

"Uhnmm nothing." I say trying to sound more present.

"C'mon Tee, I know you too well what's going on?" Nick asks with his precious precious smile.

''Nick, I like you." I say.

"But?" He asks and I force a smile my words seeming harder to come out but I can't date him, I'm just going to hurt us both. 

"But you want to be just friends?" He adds with a sad boyish smile, and I feel instantly bad but its the right thing to do.

"Yes, just friends." I say forcing a smile.

"There's someone else?" He asks and I don't even have to say anything because he can see it on my face.

"Okay so how about one game before we leave?" I ask feeling horrible for ruining our date.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Are you scared to lose?" I ask back and Nick smirks.

Playful Nick is back and that eases me a little.

We play around for a while, he lets me win but swears he didn't. Then he takes me home.

I kiss him on his cheek goodbye because that's how it should be, I can't give him more than that.

He smiles and promises to text me.